Feeling stuck and hopeless

[Gfan]

I'm a 45 yo female from the states. I've had bad teeth for so many years that it's hard to remember a time when I didn't. As a child my parents always took me to the dentist. Once I was out on my own I'm sad to say I let it go. Between severe anxiety, depression, and money it just didn't happen.

In the past 15 or so years my teeth have really become a mess. Many are broken, decay everywhere, receding gums, you name it I have it. Today while brushing, a part of my bridge broke off on the side of my anchor tooth. I'm so afraid the whole thing will come out next leaving me with a huge hole (4 teeth). I'm so embarrassed of what I've become. I used to think of myself as a fairly attractive person, I don't even recognize myself anymore.

The state of my teeth has changed everything about me. I don't hang out with friends I've had for years because I don't want them to see me. I quit my job 4 years ago and haven't gotten another because I'm too embarrassed to meet new people or have to interview. This obviously has put a huge strain on my family moneywise. I'm not sure my relationship will survive this struggle with money.

I just don't know what to do. I know I need full dentures, I've finally come to terms with that, but having zero insurance and VERY little money it's just not an option for me. I don't have the best credit so applying for care credit is out the window as well.

I just want to hole up in bed until it's my time to go. I'm so tired of having to worry about which tooth is going to break next every second of every day. I just want to be happy again. I want to smile and laugh, hang with people I love, I want to WORK and contribute to my family etc. My kids are constantly making comments about how I don't leave the house anymore. They have no idea why that is. Obviously they know my teeth aren't great, but they have no idea how bad they actually are. I hide it well. I'm embarrassed to even tell them I need dentures at this age. I feel like a failure in every aspect of my life.

I don't even know what I'm asking in this post, maybe I'm just finally putting my thoughts out there with people who will understand. If anyone has any advice about how I can go about getting started with such limited finances I'd appreciate it. I've contacted dental schools, but so far haven't been able to get in because the extent of my problems. I'm just so lost and not sure how much longer I can go on like this.

 

[krlovesherkids777]

Gfan,
Thank you for sharing your very real struggle with dental shame and how it really affects so many areas of life.. sooo get this and have struggled for years.. and the struggle to really get dental work due to cost so common but really so sad so many of us can't really get the dental care we need due to lack of insurance and affordability , how are we supposed to break the vicious cycle of dental shame and feeling better about ourselves and our dental journey. At times it can be debilitating. It really is something we often hide from those closest to us, so we are glad you are here sharing with so many of us who truly get it! You are not alone. You are not a failure, Look you care about your self , your dental health, your mental health and just feeling better in the first place or you wouldn't have even been researching and writing here and reaching out!! You are much stronger than you give your self credit for! Though the feeling can be very very real.. I have as well..I also know the limitations of not being accepted for care credit due to not the best credit .

I'm not sure where you are at , but you may want to check to see if there is a mission for Mercy near you which provides free dental work in different states, once a year they take 2 days and have free work, cleaning , even deep cleaning, fillings , root canals, extractions, even some dentures. It's all free no questions asked. It's pretty cool.. I'd google it and your state name. Also the dentists there understand you are there due to limitations and are compassionate and really want to help. That is why they are volunteering. It's worth a shot. You also may want to contact the dental board of your state and see if they have any resources, they may know of specific offices or dentists that provide charity care. At the very least you could contact a few offices that look friendly (check reviews and fb pages ) and let them know you are an anxious patients and would like to come for a free meet and greet. I say this from experience. Several dentists were happy to oblige and very helpful . Just some ideas to start.

I really wish you the best in your journey would love to know what happens and how your get along.