Hello....words of encourgment please

[2NERVOUS2GO]

Hi.

My name is Debbie and I am 44 years old. I have been visiting this forum for some time now and thought I should register and say hello.

I have an appointment (note I have not said 'I am going to...) for this Friday afternoon for an extraction of a broken tooth. This will be the first extraction I have had for over 35 years and I still break out in cold sweats at those I had as a child with metal clamp in mouth, being held down and that dreaded mask .

I have always gone to the dentist for check ups and can cope with the odd filling but do have a gag reflex, probably due to panic. My life long dentist retired (bless him he must have been about 75 but was a darling and understood my fears). The practice has been taken over and this has added to my fears.

The tooth has been broken for 18months and has an abcess underneath which rarely bothers me but can flare up for a few days at at time. This has put me off going even for check ups as I knew what needed doing. I plucked up courage to go to my new dentist who says, because of my fears, I need IV sedation, which he cannot do so referred me to someone in the area who can. I needed a Friday afternoon appointment so my husband could come with me and after a 6 week wait, Friday is the day.

I am not sleeping and fear I am going to refuse to go at the last minute. I am living in my head getting in the car, the drive there, arriving at the dentist, going into the room, sitting in the chair and I feel sick and my heart is beating out my chest.

Can any of you offer me any words of encouragement?? I tell myself to stop being silly, I have had two children and other surgery but I can't seem to overcome this terror that has built up. I must go otherwise I have got myself into this state of panic for nothing.

What is the process. What will happen. How will I feel. How long will it take?

Thank you

 

[NotAloneISee]

Hello, Debbie....

Welcome here. Most of us come here because of our fears, so as you probably already know, you are not alone in how you feel.

I am also 44 and have had a phobia of dentists. For about eight years, I did not go due to that fear...even though my teeth were hurting. Eventually a tooth broke and then another. Two years after the first tooth broke, I finally found a dentist. This was almost exactly one year ago. She told me I needed four teeth puled and seven cavities filled. This was terrifying news to me. The fillings were done within the month, but the extractions...well, I put them off....and off. Finally two months ago, I made the first appointment to have a tooth extracted. I did not like the oral surgeon, but I did not give up. After looking at the xrays, my own dentist said she could do the last three. And just a week ago, that broken tooth was taken out.

For me, the key was to find a dentist that I felt confident would treat me as I needed. I did a bit of research before deciding on one. And my search paid off. I could have gone back to the one I had left who had taken over the practice of the dentist who had taken over the practice of my first dentist. But I did not. That was the key. Many people IMO accept their dentist with resignation without taking the time to decide if this is who they really want as their dentist.

Here in the US there are so many dentists that this is unnecessary. I do not know how it is in the UK. Personally, I have another possible choice for dentist if my current one retires. I will not just accept the one who takes over.

And when I had one tooth taken out a month ago, I decided that the oral surgeon who did it was NOT who I wanted extracting my last three teeth. He was good at what he did, but he was a jerk at how he treated me. So I did the one thing I promised myself I would do...never accept a bad dentist again.

Now I am looking back at those fears I had. The constant worry every day and almost every hour...wondering what would happen when those teeth were extracted are gone. Like you, I broke out in cold sweats when thinking of my teeth. I feared the worst every time. And when I woke up in the middle of the night, that feeling of dread returned sevenfold. I even had dreams with actual gagging. Yes, gagging and choking are MY biggest fears of the dentist. I do not fear the pain. I never really think of the needles. No, I do not like them, but I would take them any day if I could just forget that "tiny" fear of gagging. (It came from an actual event where the dentist dropped a tool in my mouth when taking out a wisdom tooth. To get it out, he had to reach in my mouth and hence, I gagged.)

The week or two before the actual event of having my teeth extracted, I focused on how I would feel AFTER the teeth were pulled. I knew how wonderful I would feel. And even though I did not want the extractions done, I knew that I trusted my dentist to do the right thing. This made all the difference. (I actually looked forward to going to the dentist and seeing her and the office staff!). By focusing on how I would feel AFTER it was all over, I built up an excitement for the appointment, because I knew that this would solve my anxiety problems. I have not had babies, but my wife says that focusing on the new baby and the relief of having it all over is what helped her get through the labor pain. Maybe this same focus could help you get through the teeth extractions....focus on the relief.

And you know.....I was right. The relief I felt after it was over was great. The happiness was obvious when I came back out into the office. The staff could tell and I think they were even happy for me.

What is the actual process? I did not have any sedation. I did not want any because I knew that I could handle it without....or to me I had to handle it without to gain victory over my fears. So my experience is without sedation of any sort.

If your teeth are simple extractions, then there really is nothing at all to fear. Seriously. I cannot say this enough. It is no exaggeration. The possibility of you gagging is even very minimal. Being my biggest fear, I cannot tell you what a relief it would have been to know that ahead of time. The needles to numb your mouth will take longer than the actual extraction. The tool to extract your teeth for the most part are off to the side. They do not even get to the middle of your mouth. And my dentist used what is called an elevator (I think) to loosen the tooth. Then she took a "pliers" (not like in your husband's toolbox) to make a couple little wiggles and in less than a minute, my tooth was out. This was repeated three times with me awake through all of it. There was no pain...only a little pressure. There was no tools that could have even fallen down my throat. And my dentist never came close to gagging me.

The actual three extractions took about ten minutes total time. Numbing my mouth seemed to take longer. From the time I walked back into her room to the time I was back at the front desk was 32 minutes. I used the same clock to check the time. This included the time to chat with my dentist, her time to check on another patient, the time to numb me, and the actual extraction time. Unbelievable....all of my fears over that? Yep.

Impacted teeth take longer, but if you are under sedation, then you won't even know how long.

If you are using sedation, then I do not know how it is from my own experience, but my wife had her wisdom teeth pulled under sedation, and she said it was like falling asleep in the dentist room and then waking up with her teeth gone. That is all she knew of the experience. Then she went home and slept off the sedation. She was in her twenties when she had this done.

One note....if you gag easily, then you may let them know regarding the gauze used in your mouth. This was also one of my unfounded fears. I thought there would be a big wad of cotton in my mouth. Not so. The first tooth was extracted by an oral surgeon, and he used a gauze pad that sat at the side of my mouth. It gave me no problem. I just had to change it every so often the first day. For the last three teeth, my dentist used an absorbable Gelfoam pad that fit right into the hole of the extraction. I never had to take it out nor change it. It filled the hole, and made the bleeding stop almost instantly. And I never knew it was there...hence no gagging possible.


I can say that if I knew all of this information prior to the actual event, many of my fears would have been dissolved. No, not completely gone, but lessened. Unfortunately, I have found that because dentists do these extractions all of the time, they forget that the majority of us only have them done once. My general dentist did pretty good at explaining what she was doing, but knowing in advance would have been better.

Good luck. Do NOT back out of the appointment. I cannot stress this enough. The relief that you will feel after and the satisfaction that you will have towards yourself for accomplishing the victory over your fears will make it all worth it.

Just do it. You will never regret getting the whole experience over with. I was you with all of the same fears. And now I am what you will become. I promise.

 

[fluffyjo]

Hi I am also waiting for sedation treatment, you are so lucky to get an appointment within 6 weeks. I booked mine at the end of august and i have to wait til january!!

I too hadn't been to the dentist for many years as my fear got the better of me and i now have to have 4 fillings and an extraction.

I hope everything goes well for you on friday, i'll be keeping my fingers crossed for you.

 

[Snowball]

Hi. I'm 47 and hadn;t been to the dentist in over 20 years. I needed a shedload of fillings, several of them deep - one crown, and a wisdom tooth extracted. I had IV and was very worried, like you. My IV experience was not of the walk in have IV, wake up thinking only a second has gone by and think I've been asleep variety... I was perfectly conscious and aware for about half of the 2 hours... but know what? I felt nothing! It didn't hurt. It was fine. And, from what I've seen on here, most people have a much deeper sedation than that (check out Mikey's recent experience for a more typical one).

When I got home I felt a bit of a fool for worrying so long about - essentially nothing. And I also felt I'd have gone back the next day happily.

My next battle is to attempt the next thing I need doing without IV. Just had my 6 mth check up though and was given the all clear! No treatment required!

And I hope it stays that way but if I had to have anything major done ever again - I'd honestly opt for IV in a heartbeat.

When it was all over I realised that my own fear and those thoughts prior to it, running through my head - were a MILLION times worse than the reality of the experience.

My fear was in fact the only bad thing.

Just go for it on the day. The hard part is getting through the door. Once you're there, they will take care of you. Someone on here once said their feelings turned round when they realised going to the dentist was actually something they were doing for themselves and that helped me a lot, to realise it's really like going to the hairdresser.... Not something horrible being done TO you but something you choose to do... Afterwards you will feel like you've been given your life back.

 

[helpme!]

Hi, I am 41 and have suffered dentalphobia all my life.

My success story was that just over a week ago I had 8 upper teeth removed (in the chair with just novacaine) and an upper denture put in.

The appointment took half an hour!!!...and the longest part of the that was the needles.

I had MANY sleepless nights and panic leading up to the appointment but I refused to let myself back out of it...because I knew I was just making things worse by not going... and I was tired of feeling self-conscious about bad teeth... I wanted a nice smile!!!!!!

I would rather have extractions that fillings ANY DAY! There is no drill

The anticipation of the appointment was sooooo much worse than the real thing!... I can honestly say there was no real pain... just the tiny sting of the needles (which was nothing).

It was so quick.

I can't emphasize enough that the secret to coping with dentalphobia is definitely to find a good dentist you trust! If you trust the dentist then you trust their ability to do the job quickly, professionally and painlessly.

Don't back out... you will so VERY proud of yourself when you go through with it... and with each appointment your fears will be put more into perspective (often our imaginations are our worst enemy).

I FACED MY FEAR AND IT WAS THE BEST THING I EVER DID!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[NotAloneISee]

I would rather have extractions that fillings ANY DAY! There is no drill

The anticipation of the appointment was sooooo much worse than the real thing!... I can honestly say there was no real pain... just the tiny sting of the needles (which was nothing).

It was so quick.

I can't emphasize enough that the secret to coping with dentalphobia is definitely to find a good dentist you trust! If you trust the dentist then you trust their ability to do the job quickly, professionally and painlessly.

Three very good points to remember.

This is funny...I said the same thing to my dentist, "I would rather have teeth pulled than filled! It is done so much quicker...and it is cheaper!" She laughed.

My reason is that the dentist is in and out of the mouth in so much less time. The discomfort is less. The pain is less. The noise is less. The chance for mistakes are less.

And yes, it comes down to having a dentist you trust. No question about it, because even if that dentist does do something unpleasant, you attribute it to a mistake and not to some danger to you.

To trust a dentist takes time, but usually first impressions are very true.

 

[fluffyjo]

How did you get on with your appointment today?

 

[fluffyjo]

Has anyone seen Debbie on here since her appointment? I was wondering how she got on.

 

[2NERVOUS2GO]

How did you get on with your appointment today?

Has anyone seen Debbie on here since her appointment? I was wondering how she got on.

Hello

I'm so sorry for not replying for so long.........and no I have not been yet. My appointment is now tomorrow and yes I am still scared.

To cut a very long story short, I have a little boy who is disabled and was hospitalized the day after my posting and has had several operations and was in hospital for two months. He was actually in theatre at the time of my appointment so it was obviously cancelled. He needed 24/7 care when he came home so I rearranged for March. Two days before my appointment they called to cancel as anaesthetist was going to be off. The earliest next appointment was for 4pm tomorrow (23rd)

Thank you for your replies. I have been reading the success stories which have helped but I don't know how I am going to physically walk in the dentist door...but I will. I will do it for my lovely son who has been so brave and through so much more than this. We have just found out he will never walk again so have been devastated by that news so I MUST DO THIS TOMORROW.

I promise to post how it went. Please wish me luck

Debbie