I’m really scared right now.

[elisheva]

I’ve had an abscess in a cracked tooth for about 4 months now. I absolutely can’t go to the dentist. I’ve noticed it may be draining, I’m honest not too sure. The tooth next to that is now really hurting when I bite down on it. I don’t know if it’s connected or if it’s a whole new problem completely. I don’t want to lose all my teeth. I feel so ashamed that I’ve let it get to this point and I really need help before I literally can’t chew on either side. I’m just so terrified, any advice would be greatly appreciated.

 

[letsconnect]

So sorry to hear that you're in so much pain @elisheva .

You said in a previous post that you would not consider getting a dentist to help you - which is totally understandable considering your terror at the mere thought of anything related to the d-word! So I'm trying to figure out what sort of advice you are looking for - DIY tips, advice for avoiding similar problems in the future, or something else entirely? Or are you open to the idea of getting a dentist to help (provided they were supportive and caring of course)? It would help to know this before answering

 

[elisheva]

@letsconnect Thank you for your response. Honestly all of the above. I will do anything to avoid going to a dentist and I do really want to preserve whatever oral health I still have left. I would consider going to a dentist only under the condition that I could be sedated, but I don’t know how to go about finding someone who I trust enough for that. I’m just so ashamed.

 

[letsconnect]

@elisheva please don't be ashamed, there are so many people in the same position, and many dentists love a bit of a challenge rather than an uneventful check-up (it would be a bit pointless to go through years and years of training and then not be able to use your skills, right?). A lot of dentists get their biggest satisfaction from making a real difference to people's lives, getting them out of pain and boosting their self-esteem.

I'm not sure if you've seen the information pages on our website, but there are lots of tips that might be useful.

1. In terms of actually searching for a dentist, we've compiled some great tips here:

How to find a dentist for nervous patients

Discover how to find a dentist who is good with nervous, scared or phobic patients - and who to avoid!

www.dentalfearcentral.org

Truth be told, that page could do with a bit of an update - it was written before AI started to become more powerful, so nowadays for a selection of potential dentists I'd probably also use Gemini. Having said that, personal recommendations are often best, but I understand that might be a no-go if you're too embarrassed to talk about this. Do you have anyone you can confide in at all?

2. Regarding DIY pain relief tips, this page may be of use:

DIY Dentistry and Dental Emergencies

Useful tips for dental emergencies and DIY dentistry, including pain relief for toothache, temporary fillings and how to put crowns back on.

www.dentalfearcentral.org

3. For preventing future problems or to stop things from getting much worse, you could have a read of these pages:

How to prevent and stop tooth decay

Find out how to prevent tooth decay and how to stop existing decay from getting worse.

www.dentalfearcentral.org

How to prevent and stop gum disease from getting worse

Is flossing is pointless? How do you best look after your gums? Find out how to prevent gum disease or stop it from getting worse!

www.dentalfearcentral.org

There may be other pages that are relevant, depending on your situation (for example, some people grind their teeth or you may have problems with sensitive teeth). It can be a little difficult to navigate the website on a mobile device so if you can, it would be best to use a laptop or desktop so you're able to see the sidebars.

This is probably all a bit overwhelming right now, but if you feel able to, see if you can dip your toes into some of those pages .

I don't know if you have considered enlisting the help of a psychologist to help you through this, but that would be worth thinking about as well.

 

[Kitty84]

Hey!
I hope you are doing ok. I just wanted to say I understand the shame thing. But another perspective - and a bit like @letsconnect says - honestly clinicians like a challenge and they see things super differently to how we do. I’m not a dentist (and I’m terrified of them so would be weird for me to be one lol - sorry bad joke) but I am a health care professional (physio) and honestly as
Much as it’s great when my patients are doing well, it’s a kinda boring work day for me! I hope that makes sense - we don’t see the shame patients may feel - for me this is usually someone hasn’t followed their rehab plan - but I’m more interested in why not and how to change how they feel about doing it, than making them feel worried about it. I rekon dentists prob feel similar.

I’m being a little lighthearted but honestly that is not in any way to dismiss your fear and worries. Just another perspective in case it helps or at least helps you giggle a tiny tiny bit. To find my dentist I was lucky - I broke a tooth and that was my wake up call I needed to engage in the process. I called emergency dental line (I’m in UK) for my area and they told me a list of dentists to try and register with. I called a few and told them I was really frightened and judged a little how they dealt with that. Picked one that was lovely
On phone, and was even more lovely in person. She referred me to a colleague that offered IV sedation, and I now see him for my check ups etc.

Honestly when I look at someone’s foot, I’m looking at the joint and not at them. Yes of course we think holistically but there is deffo a lot of time in thought about the issue you have come in with, an no judgement about how it happene, even when I told them skiing was lethal etc etc.

Take lots of care and good
Luck