i would rather be dead than go to the dentist

[emmie41]

hi,
im in a really bad way,i hope someone can help me, my fear is so serious i dont know what to do i am in so much pain my teeth are in a bad way and im only 34 have not been to the dentist for 17 years as had a really really bad experiance with a dentist not going into much detail but he lost his job, i get alot of pain, i dont smile anymore and i feel really embarassed have lost all of my back teeth and one at the front have pain in my jaw and ive always brushed twice a day dont eat sweets and am still losing them some are broken and i know it will cost alot of money please help i think i will never get over what happend to me

 

[norwegianchick]

Getting rid of the pain doesn't necessarily need to be very expensive, a good dentist should be able to make a treatment plan that you can afford. There isn't just ONE way of fixing bad teeth.

It sounds like you do a good job taking care of your teeth, but dentists and dental hygienists can help clean your teeth so it becomes easier for you to keep them clean, and can give you advice on how to clean them better. This will help you avoid problems in the future.

Don't be embarrassed about missing teeth, I know many people who have a few empty spaces in their mouths, and I can tell you that other people don't really notice or think about it. Of course YOU notice when you look in the mirror, but other people aren't really that interested in looking inside your mouth. And EVERYONE looks better when they smile!

I think it would be a really good idea for you to check out the recommendations on this page and find a good dentist near you. Or you can ask friends and family if they know about a good dentist. Yes, as you've already found out: some are bad, but there are many good ones too, who'll work with you to improve your dental health, yes, they do exist.

Good luck and tell us how it goes!

 

[Didn't see it coming]

Hi Emmie,
I'm 36, and saw a dentist for the first time in my life last December.
I'm not the best person to state anxiety help etc, but there is plenty of info on this site for you to look through.
I can't say dentists are better - as
I have nothing to compare it to, but from what I have read on here - my god, they have improved!!!
The biggest thing I can say to you is DO NOT let your embarrassment get the better of you!
Thats what deterred me from going, my teeth fell out in front of people...so no...seeing the dentist WAS NOT embarrassing...AT ALL.
4 teeth fell out on me before going, and some were crumbled beneath the gum line.
My front teeth were loose...so it was one embarrassment or the other - lose the front or go see the dentist.
I'm soooooo pleased I went, and even though I have had to have partial dentures, its a darn relief...I have got great teeth, I have also got denture problems - but thats nothing compared to what the problems used to be.
I know it sounds so easy for people to say, but EVERY person on here is understanding how you feel, and those of us that can, have made that first step - which is the worst.
But the elation you feel from having done it...no matter what the outcome...its step one in the right direction.
I'm thinking of you...and hope you find the courage

 

[emmie41]

I just want to thank you both for the support and advice that you are giving me, i really do want to go to the dentist but somthing is stopping me everytime,i dont want to lose all my teeth well what i have left that is and everyday all i have on my mind is my teeth,i cant focus on anything else. I know that dentist's have improved and not all the same but my fear is just so bad that i cant see through that all i think about is drills, injections and blood and the smell and noise of the dentist this goes round in my head 24/7. What happend to me will never go away. I want to do it for my children because im always un happy and feeling unwell and they notice it but even just writing this to both of you im shaking like a leaf just having to think about dentists, everybody always said that i had great teeth and a great smile and now i feel i have let myself down big time all because to fillings fell out when i was pregnant and never got them seen to and when i was pregnant with my second child my teeth got really worse and i still did nothing about it and now im in this situation.

 

[norwegianchick]

I know you can do this, it really sounds like you want to!

Try not to over think this: just do the first step, and then take the next ones. Get an appointment with a good, recommended dentist, and then take it from there. They can't make you accept their treatment plan, you decide what you want done, and you'll feel lots better when you know what's going on in your mouth.

I found it really helpful to write down what I'm afraid of. I can start cold sweating and my mouth go all dry just as soon as I enter the dental office, but I know why, so it doesn't bother me so much anymore.

 

[Didn't see it coming]

Same here...cold sweat EVERY time. Heart racing, want to back out.
Feel it's going to be pain, blood and having a fit in the chair. Its not easier each time I'm in the waiting room, but it is when I'm in the chair...and the longer they take in messing about with their bits n pieces, I do tend to relax a bit.
ANy extraction, I have to use a stone to grasp - nothing softer than a stone would last (its a chunk of fluorite...supposed to ease tooth probs in reiki stuff - I'm not an expert).
I haven't smelt a dentist smell since going, I must admit. Probably my adrenaline switches it off lol.
Just try and ease the fear with the fact the first visit is purely a look about. I know its easier said than done...but honestly, you will feel better after that bits done.
Cry in there if you have to - just don't feel embarrassed about it, or about your teeth - your going in there for help - not enter a contest.
Have you got someone to go with you?
If you don't feel you can go in, would you trust a friend/partner to go in with you?
Someone who you trust and can confide in won't look at what the dentist is doing, and may be able to ask questions you can't etc.
Think about what you will be happier with, and take it from there.
No work done that first time - just concentrate on making that intitial visit as easy as you can!