Know I have to go eventually but still terrified

[NavinJay]

Newbie here, first post.

First of all, I dislike doctors in general. I tend to face most fear head on. When I was younger, I hated doctors because of the needles. They always used large gauge needles and it hurt like the dickens and I dreaded going to the hospital. Now I work in a hospital and have to get yearly flu shots and such. I also stutter and I always hated speaking on the phone, especially at work since it seemed to make my stuttering worse. But then I got a job in a call center and I excelled and worked as an inbound tech support rep for nearly 10 years. So I don't like being afraid of things.

But dentists are another thing.

I went every 6 months when I was young because my mom made me and I hated, hated, hated it.
I also think I had this issue where I NEVER brushed or flossed my teeth but I never had a cavity and the dentist always remarked how good my teeth were. Just brush better was the only thing they would say. So, I would hate the cleaning and everything and I honestly thought it was a waste of time.

I joined the military at 18 (I am 46 now) and my first week of bootcamp I saw the dentist and he said
I had a tiny cavity that needed to be filled. I pitched such a fit I was almost discharged. I asked the dentist not to use a needle because a sibling told me they were able to get a small cavity filled once without a needle. He said no. In tears I let the dentist to his thing.

I have not seen another dentist since.

I have a bad receding gum problem on one of my bottom front teeth. I think they call them eye-teeth?? It has a pointy end and sticks out from the rest of my teeth. I have a match on the other side of my mouth and my teeth are crooked but not severely all that bad. The other eye-tooth has just begun the receding problem but the first one is getting REALLY bad. I have been brushing now for about 10 years and my gums have gone from red to a nicer pink and they rarely bleed anymore. But i know brushing will not fix this gum problem. But I am scared to death to see a dentist.

Not sure what help to ask but if anyone has anything that help me in the right direction to get over my fears..

 

[Dr. Daniel]

Hi,
to this forum.
You did will by posting your story here. I am sure you will find much support and good advises.
I myself a dentist who treat phobic patients. Luckily it sounds that your dental problems are not urgent, so you have the time to deal with your fear as you did with your other previous fears.

The local anesthesia is purely for the patient's comfort so it is up to the patient weather to have one or not. However, there are ways to deal with fear of the needle, if you want, I will happily write about it some more .

I personally know people who face and deal with fears and challenges and still for them the dentist is a different story. Usually there are two reasons for that:
1- Protecting one self. The mouth is very sensitive place, extremely important for our quality of life and our psychological well being, and letting a stranger (the dentist) into their mouth is tough.
2- Bad interactions with dentists. It is more difficult for dental phobic people to have a positive interaction with their dentist. Unlike most other fears, the fear of the dentist is a fear from another human being.
Where would you say your fear lies in? According to this it will be easier to find the ways to deal with it.

 

[Kim]

Hello NavinJay and another from me.

Just reading your thread and I am full of admiration for you. To overcome something is wonderful, and you have done this so well with both your job and your jabs

For some of us, we will never get over our fears But on the up side of that, is that with help and encouragement and hearing the stories of others, we manage to live with our fears, and get the help we need, despite our fears. And so hopefully, that is how you will get the help that you need.

I don't know if this will make much sense to you, but hopefully it will. When I used to go to the dentist when I was a child, and for me it was always less than every six months, and I never got away without needing something done, my dentist was a tall stern faced man, who never smiled (well not at me anyway) and always glared at me - on reflection, that is probably just the way he looked, but his eyes reminded me of those eyeballs that fall out of the specs - the joke ones - anyway, he was doing his job, I was his work, if he did his fillings/extractions etc, job done. There was no 'personalisation' (not sure if that is a proper word, but it works for me ) to his approach to his work.

When I had my first consultation a few months back with dentist number 1 - it took me right back to my childhood - no 'personalisation' - I was just a job number on his list of 'to do' things, nothing more, nothing less. Dentist number 2 had some 'personalisation' to his attitude - but wasn't right for me.

Then on to current dentist Lincoln. Well, where do I start? I think it would be easier to say, he is not purely a dentist, he is a person. He talks, works, laughs, works, jokes, works, basically he knows how his patients 'work' and he and his nurse Jean are just plain and simple 'diamonds' of the dentist industry

I know I have been very fortunate in finding them, and will always be grateful for that. I also know that this would never have happened, had I not found this site, and listened to what the good people on here had to say.

So, although you may not at this moment in time know where to begin, the first step you need to take is to contact dentists in your neck of the woods, approach them via e-mail if this is easier. Put in an e-mail, what you have told us, and ask if they are able to help you over the hurdles that you are facing. Have a Google at dentists in your area. A lot will put on their web sites if they are interested or specialise in treating nervous or phobic patients.

Once you get some responses, go for a 'viewing', not only of the practice, but the staff and dentist also. You do not have to stick with the first one. You need to have a sense of 'comfortableness' about the whole thing, otherwise getting to where you want and need to be just won't happen, or if it does, it won't again for a long time, and you will be back to square one.

You have a determination about you, and I feel in my heart of hearts that you will get this particular 'job' done, and we will be with you all of the way.

Take care, and let us know how you go.

Kim