Need to rant!!!

[mark691]

Hi..
I'm an old member but haven't been visiting for years now.. I am a massive phobic teamed up with embarrassement for poor dental health so I kept putting off the dentist for years. About 4 years ago, thanks to the DFC forum support, I faced my fears and went to the dentist who was an absolute nightmare and had to be referred elsewhere to sort out the work he did.. This gave me a kick to carry on now that I had started, and found myself the most perfect dentist. Everyone at the surgery were a dream, from the receptionists, to the nurses and most importantly, all of the dentists!! They treated me with such care and were sympatethic how scared I was. They did all the work under sedation (which is the best thing ever, by the way!!!!) and received part dentures. However, it didn't cure my fear, and I didn't go for 3 years ago.. One of my teeth is broken because of the denture is rubbing against it and broke it, but I put it off to get it sorted and now it has gone to near enough to the root.. Then I lost a filling, which is painful when I eat, but that didn't get me moving, figured I will get used it!! But then at the end of October, I lost another filling, this time on my front tooth, so I knew I had to go, because I can't smile or talk to people properly now Plus I was scared that if I leave it, it will break and crumble away, which I can't have!! So I contacted the dreamy dentist, only to be told that they can't treat me under NHS And I can't afford to pay for the treatment.. So I decided I need to go to the Dental Access Centre, because they should sort it straight away.. I can't believe how calm I was when I walked into the DAC asking to get a filling sorted (I had decided that I will get the front one fixed but any other work will have to wait), but they didn't see me straight away, gave me an appointment 3 weeks away. The time went, and I took myself to the appointment, I had mentally and physically prepared myself to get my tooth fixed, envisaged going through to numbing needle and the sounds and the poking and gagging, and I was READY!!! I was incredibly proud of myself (and only phobics can understand what a massive step forward that was!!). I had booked an appointment and gone all by myself, something that I wouldn't have done 4 years ago! Back then, I couldn't even mention the word "dentist" without bursting into tears! So the day comes, and I get called in to the dentist's room, and she starts poking around my mouth and then tells me, it's a check up! When I had specifically asked to get the front tooth sorted! And to top it off, she was incredibly rude and made me feel really bad about not looking after my teeth properly. But she did notice how scared I was so told me that she will refer me to another dentist who deals with the phobics and does all the work under sedation. Ok, I felt very downhearted and upset when I left, but also relieved that I will get everything sorted, instead of just the front one.. I felt bad because I had to wait longer to get the front one done, but thought I only had to wait for 2 weeks now, to get it done. This is when the next appointment was. Ok, so that is the background story, now to the problem!

I had the appointment today! I was getting really nervous a few days before, nothing like my phobic nerves were, but still very nervous, considered cancelling but forced myself there. I thought I had gone from the absolute phobic to a nervous patient.. So I get to the surgery and start waiting for my appointment, just about breathing, and I realise, I haven't been transfered to a different dentist, I'm seeing the same horrible woman again!!!!!!! Now this is when the panic set in!! I thought I can't go through the pain and the poking with her when she doesn't understand nor care how hard it was for me to make an appointment in the first place! I sat there sweating, swallowing tears and concentrating on my breathing. The closer my turn came, worse I got! I couldn't stop the tears and a few stubborn ones managed to escape. I was scared she will rip all my teeth out and make me leave toothless!!! I decided to stay but decided to tell her that I will ONLY have the front one fixed, nothing else!! I couldn't have gone through it all. But I went in, and she gave me ANOTHER CHECK UP!!! and another referral to the other dentist!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was in absolute bits!!!!!!! It turns out, someone had cocked up and booked me into see her again, when I was supposed to be seeing the other one this time. This time I couldn't stop the tears and I ran out crying. I had to walk through a city centre crying, and drove myself home, barely seeing anything because I couldn't stop crying! They told me they will contact me with a new appointment.
I feel like I'm going back to my old self again, being so scared to go that I just won't! I can't believe how insensitive the dentists still are, not understanding what a giant leap I took by booking an appointment and going through to them 3 times FOR NOTHING!!! I can't go back anymore if they won't sort it then, so I decided on the way home, that I will find another dentist, who knows how to treat phobics under the NHS and do it quickly and smoothly, instead of making a phobic go to and fro, as if I enjoy waiting for torture. But now that I'm thinking clearly again, what do people think? Should I wait for the referral, or just go and find someone else? The thing is that I first wanted the front tooth sorting out for my birthday which was on the 17th of Nov, that didn't go to plan. Then my next relief was that it will be sorted for Christmas at least!! Now it looks like that isn't going to happen by then either!!! All I wanted was the get the one tiny hole fixed as soon as possible, and now I'm back in the dentist hell!!!!

 

[Judit]

Dear Mark,

I am sorry to hear they cancelled 3 times the appointment.

I don`t know what I would do in your situation.

Can you book appointment with another dentist at the same time?
Then you can always cancel it just like they do as you have a timeline or you cal also tell them you really need to book that appointment it`s urgent as your dentist makes you wait a lot and you can`t wait anymore.
Maybe there will be some dentists who understand your situation and they will be ready to help you espceially if it`s urgent.

Good luck and maybe the universe wants you to find the best dentist that`s why those appointments were cancelled. who knows?

Please let us know how it goes.

 

[coolin]

Is there any way in the world you could go back to the 'dreamy dentist' and pay for treatment to the tooth that bothers you? To reduce costs maybe you could do it with oral sedation from your GP?

Alternatively and to save time (the NHS is a pain with waiting times) if the above is not possible you should probably consider taking the appointment with the dentist who will treat you with sedation. They will likely be more used to the nervous/phobic patient and will treat you better than the last dentist.

Do you know how long you will have to wait for this appointment?

Coolin

 

[misti]

i feel for you.
just to give you support. i don't know what to advise but what you went through was horrid.
and the lady dentist sounds so unfeeling. i hope you will gather up courage again and be brave once more.
as a phobic, i know how tough that must be. and what you went through was already very heroic.
you can do it again! we are behind you. we understand.

 

[mark691]

Thanks guys=)
I haven't looked for another dentist but I'm still not sure whether to wait for another appointment with the one I've been to.. I think I'm just driffting along and see what happens.. Probably gonna lose all my teeth and never go to a dentist ever again..=p But I'll keep you posted..=) Thanks for the support!!=)

 

[misti]

hi mark,
good to see you write again. i was wondering how you were doing.
hope you will find a nice dentist soon. don't wait too long. not worth the future pain if the teeth gives more problem and as we all know, the anticipation is far worse than the actual procedure itself.
good luck!

 

[Aldridge]

Hi Mark,
So sad for you; it's so horrible when you've got yourself all psyched up and then you are let down and have to wait again. It sounds a typical NHS clinic mess-up; my husband had a detached retina and the NHS emergency treatment and surgery was absolutely outstanding, but oh my Lord, the follow-up clinics...let's just say we haven't had an appointment yet which they haven't changed, messed up or cancelled. (and there have been quite a few appointments.) Try to hang on in there. You've done SO brilliantly. Wishing you all the best.