New here...and so glad I found you all!

[ohlookachicken]

Hi there! I am new here...and so glad I found this site! I have not been to the dentist in 6 or 7 years; had a cleaning last Friday because I knew I had to get over this and get my teeth fixed! I have to say, it went fine but I was really put off by the dental hygenists' comments. That is my biggest fear, honestly...the embarassment and the judging of dental professionals. I actually started to cry after the made a comment about "what, your tooth fell out and you just ignored it???" Actually my filling fell out and yes, I ignored that...and then my tooth cracked to the gum and yes..I ignored that....

Anyway, she really put me off. This is my first time at this dentist so I hope he is nicer than her....I do have one cracked tooth I really really need fixed, and I am sure I will have lots of work after that...several crowns, couple of implants...probably mucho cavities...maybe another root canal...

anyway, I keep telling myself....I have spent too long NOT SMILING!! My front tooth came in discolored when I was little and I have been living with it since then (I am 51). So.....I hope I can share a bit of my experience here and help others! I think it is great to know you are not alone!

So tell me, how did everyone find the right dentist?? Someone who is not judgemental....I hate to get into my life story about all my financial problems, and how dental work was always a low priority....just wish people did not judge !!!

Thanks for letting me vent!

 

[Margarine4]

Did you try the Find-A-Dentist link in the yellow area at the top of the page? I know that other dental phobics recommend their dentist there.

Good luck.

 

[olivacs]

I found my dentist by pure luck! My husband called around for me because I was to afraid and made the decision based on how they responded to his questions. The one I see now is so nice and compassionate and never has made me feel awful about my teeth and another plus...less than 5 minutes from my mhouse. Doesn't help i am still terrifed when I go though!

 

[GrahamDee]

Hi there! I am new here...and so glad I found this site! I have not been to the dentist in 6 or 7 years; had a cleaning last Friday because I knew I had to get over this and get my teeth fixed! I have to say, it went fine but I was really put off by the dental hygenists' comments. That is my biggest fear, honestly...the embarassment and the judging of dental professionals. I actually started to cry after the made a comment about "what, your tooth fell out and you just ignored it???" Actually my filling fell out and yes, I ignored that...and then my tooth cracked to the gum and yes..I ignored that....

Anyway, she really put me off. This is my first time at this dentist so I hope he is nicer than her....I do have one cracked tooth I really really need fixed, and I am sure I will have lots of work after that...several crowns, couple of implants...probably mucho cavities...maybe another root canal...

anyway, I keep telling myself....I have spent too long NOT SMILING!! My front tooth came in discolored when I was little and I have been living with it since then (I am 51). So.....I hope I can share a bit of my experience here and help others! I think it is great to know you are not alone!

So tell me, how did everyone find the right dentist?? Someone who is not judgemental....I hate to get into my life story about all my financial problems, and how dental work was always a low priority....just wish people did not judge !!!

Thanks for letting me vent!

I think you have found a basic problem with some dentists. Any good dentist should never berate, belittle, moan or judge you in any way. As a patient, you are entitled to be treated with respect and to judge people in this manner is a failure in that respect, even if they are well-intentioned. Negative attitudes help no one, least of all the patient who is left to feel embarassed and small.

I would guess their attitudes towards you is possibly the reason behind you putting off treatment, because you don't want to feel bad - when maybe you are feeling bad enough to start with.

How do you find a good non-judgemental dentist? Reputation, recommendation and maybe just going to different ones and finding one you feel comfortable with. Remember they are your teeth and you choose the treatment you want, with whomever you want.

If a dentist starts with the comments, sarcasm or lecture, get up and walk away and find another one. You deserve respect regardless of your dental health.

 

[Ice-princess]

Hi and I too have not been to the dentist in 6/7 years and went for my 1st appointment yesterday! and it was fine! One of my fears was the embarrasment of letting the dentist see my teeth in their condition but she was sooo lovely and didnt say a bad word at all! and the verdict... 2 possible extractions and one stright forward filing, so ive got another appointment for the 7th July to review my x-rays from yesterday, find ouy if i need teeth out and to try the filing i dunno id ill be able to manage it!??! lol. Im still in shock that i dont need a lot more doing to my teeth!

Ice-princess

 

[Ice-princess]

Sorry this is a p.s lol

I found a dentist and told everyone on here which one it was and posted the website and then i got a reply saying someone had been to that dentist and found it was not exactly what I was looking for so they reccomended their dentist who was good with phobics and im so glad i took their advice cause thats were i went yesterday and I have found the perfect dentist!

Ice-princess

 

[letsconnect]

Sorry to hear that you were treated so badly . I'm surprised that the dentist didn't see you - it seems a bit weird (although it seems to be quite common in the US), seeing how the dentist should co-ordinate your treatment (including the hygienist - many practices/offices have more than one hygienist, and if your dentist knows how scared you are, they can recommend the most gentle and caring one). You can find some tips for finding a caring dentist here:

How to find a dentist for nervous patients

Discover how to find a dentist who is good with nervous, scared or phobic patients - and who to avoid!

www.dentalfearcentral.org

Here are some pointers from a dentist who regularly posts on moneysavingexpert.com (which sum it up neatly, but don't mention the possibility of e-mailing the dentists on your shortlist, or also consulting patient review websites):

1. Get recommendations from friends/family/neighbours/etc.
2. Once you have a short-list, VISIT the practices - dont just phone. Go on the pretext of getting a Practice Leaflet.
3. Assess the helpfulness of the staff and the level of the facilities.
4. Only book initial appointment when you find a place you are happy with.

 

[drummerswife]

I just have to chine in here and say first of all welcome to our comunity of support. Here you will find no judgements, only understanding and suppport.
I, too, have a tooth that broke and I ignored it because I had no insurance and zero courage at the time to do anything about it. And then about 18 months ago, a second one broke and I ignored that one too for the same two reasons. They looked bad but they didnt hurt and my level of terror with dentists was such that living with them that way was far preferable to having something done with them.
I found my dentist, Dr. Katie, when I was referred to her by my husband's dentist after I completely freaked out on her. Dr. Katie specializes in dental phobia and, not surprisingly, most of her patients are people like me. She takes people too terrified for other dentists to work with.
It gives me high blood pressure to hear people talking to someone the way you describe. It is so completely unprofessional, insensitive and inappropriate. Is there any way you could go elsewhere? I'm not sure where you live but if its anywhere close to Nebraska, PM me.
When Dr. Katie saw my broken teeth, she asked only if they were painful. I said no and she went on to tell me how we could fix them. She repaired one with a beautiful crown and the other is scheduled for extraction because its not repairable.
Nobody has the right to judge you.

 

[brit]

So tell me, how did everyone find the right dentist?? Someone who is not judgemental....I hate to get into my life story about all my financial problems, and how dental work was always a low priority....just wish people did not judge !!!

So sorry you ran across a hygienist with that kind of judgemental attitude..it sometimes comes from a lack of maturity and hence lack of life experience...at least it wasn't the dentist but maybe you would be better going elsewhere anyway, since you have had no interaction with him to date.

Your reasons for avoiding care are none of their business, in the UK where socialised medicine is available, finances isn't much of a reason for not going but people still avoid for many years on occasion, so maybe dentists in UK just accept people stay away mainly because of fear and congratulate people for coming along despite their reservations.....although some will be judgemental, it is not considered the best approach any more and does not fit with the NHS principle of treating your patient with respect...so it is becoming increasingly rare for people to report experiences like that, so you were unlucky - i.m.v. hygienists tend to be more dental-hygiene-obsessed than dentists so you are more likely to get attitude from them, particularly if they are young and somewhat lacking in tact and compassion.
Good luck in finding a practice you feel more comfortable at.

 

[ohlookachicken]

Thanks to everyone here!!! I ended up going...met the dentist and he was very nice. Very honest about the work I need done (3 root canals and a couple of crowns). But I did need two teeth extracted and one was bothering me so he did it right then and there and was very nice about it. I figure I will be there every week for many many months, but I made the first step...and I know if I put it off any longer things will only get worse. I really do not want to lose any more teeth sooner than I have to!

Unfortunately....he gave me vicodin that cause me more problems last night (i fainted, severe nauseous, dizziness until it wore off around midnight)...next time I prefer the pain!!!

I am so encouraged reading everyone's notes here!! We all have a story and they are all very important!! I am looking forward to the day I can smile without embarrassment!

 

[drummerswife]

Wow! I admire your bravery! I am having 3 teeth surgically removed on the 15th by an oral surgeon. Good for you!

 

[Razzle3]

What matters is you took the courageous step to find a dentist who is worthy of the title! Good for you and hope you feel proud. Good luck with all future treatments.

Mona