New Here - And Very Nervous

[KrisB]

A couple of months ago I arranged my first dental appointment in what would have been about 5 years; which was a daunting enough task in itself.

I was incredibly nervous for about a week before the check-up and, needless to say, browsing these forums helped tremendously. It's great to see so many honest and truly warming people stick together and help those around them.

Anyway, it's hard to put a finger on why I get so nervous when dentistry is even mentioned, as, it's a mixture of all the bad things that occur in that dreadful chair. Prior to the appointment I was less concerned by the potential pain, as I knew it was only a checkup, but more the embarrassment as I know my teeth are in a bad way.

Even with that in my mind, I was pretty unhappy when she told me I'd need an extraction and 13 fillings! She was a nice enough dentist but I believe she was a bit old-school when it came to telling me off, as she was very demeaning and it only added to my humiliation in front of a very attractive dental nurse.

I had a chat with her about my overall nervousness and she referred me to my local health clinic to get the work done as they can offer me 'gas and air'. I was delighted with this as I'm sure it'll help me when in the chair, but now, I have another check up appointment to start worrying about which'll take place on Tuesday.

I am just as scared as I was last time, as it's a new dentist and it'll be another one to be disgusted and appalled with my teeth. Hopefully she'll be a tad nicer about it and will set about readying me for the future rather than ridiculing the way I treated my teeth in the past.

With me, I'm far more worried with the anticipation of going to the dentist than being in the actual chair, which means, the more appointments I have the worse I'll be. To say I'm bricking it now would be an understatement.

Please help me stop worrying about what will happen! It's completely ruining my Summer!

 

[Wymondham]

Well, one of the first things to remember is they have seen worse - much worse - and another is, its guys like you that keep them in well paid work Let any tellings off roll over your head - or say, yes, I know thats why Im here, to get this sorted and then look after my teeth. When you are actually in the chair, think about something else - and tell yourself in an hours time Ill be sitting at home and this will just be a memory - I will have survived and my teeth will be that much better.

Good luck, you will be fine.

 

[KrisB]

Thank You Wymondham.

I'll certainly be thinking about a nice night out afterwards while I'm on the chair. I'm sure once it's all finished, which could be a while away yet I suppose, I'll breathe the biggest sigh of relief and be a happy chappy again, but, I'm one of those people that worries, and dentistry is by far the thing that makes me worry the most.

Once the checkup's over I'll be worrying about the treatment, so I just can't wait 'til it's all over. I wish life was like Sky Plus and I could bypass all this.

 

[drummerswife]

Hi Kris,
First, as I read your post i could myself becoming very angry at the way you were treated. There is NO EXCUSE not one for speaking to a patient in a demeaning manner. You should e congratulated for taking the brave step of making and keeping the appointment. The dentist should have praised your efforts to take care of your teeth now. Speaking to people the way she did accomplishes nothing positive.

A dentist who truly cares about their patients knows that making the patient feel safe and comfortable is the FIRST STEP towards them getting the care they need. Compassionate dentists understand that of they making the patient feel humilated and small is the best to make sure they never come back again.
When I began my dental journey 17 months ago, it had been 15 years since I had set foot in a dentist office. And there was a very good reason for that.
Dentists terrified me beyoind all reason. My story is told in detail here as are the stories of many oithers. As you might imagine, my teeth were in a bad way but never once then or since did the my dentist ever scold me for waiting so long.
You deserve to be treated with respect and dignity. As you approach this next appointment, bear that in mind. Remember also that the dentist is essentially working for you. Without patients, they would not have a job. You are paying them for a service and you deserve to expect that service be delievered in a way thats good for you. If hey cant do this, findf someone who will.

 

[KrisB]

Cheers Drummerswife.

To be honest, the offer of Gas and Air wasn't the only reason I'm glad she referred me, as, I definitely didn't want to receive treatment off of her. As you said, I did feel small and it certainly isn't a pleasant experience.

I just hope that the dentist I've been referred to is a lot more empathetic and understands that ridiculing me for my poor teeth isn't going to make me want to return.

I also hope that the treatment is painless!

 

[Stress Doc]

Hi Krisb

First, Welcome to the forum!

Dental fear is very common and nothing to be ashamed of in any way. I am a bit surprised you would be lectured about your teeth, very counter productive.

Facing fear is one the bravest things you can do. Everyone has fears, but many people spend their whole lives avoiding them. You are being proactive, well done. Anxiety loses power with positive action.

In regard to the next appointment. If you are worried about a repeat of the lecture. Be proactive. Tell the dentist you are committed to getting your teeth fixed and want their help. You feel a bit self conscious about them and are very sensitive to negative comments. You will appreciate their help and understanding.

I always appreciate my patients being candid with me. This empowers me to help them. Good communication is essential for the best outcome.

I would also talk about your dental fears. If we do not tell people what we want, we seldom get it.

If you want some techniques and tools to help with the anxiety, PM me and I will send you the links to get them.

I know you will do great.

Blessings

 

[GrahamDee]

As I live very close to Fareham myself (Gosport) I am very interested who is available locally that offers gas and air, as I am very keen to try it.

That said, whatever the state of your teeth, they are your teeth, not hers. It is NOT her place to judge you, berate you or belittle you. I am glad you manage to sit though it and continue your treatment - personally I would have got up out of the chair, demand to know who is in charge of this practice, take out a formal complaint and walk out - even if I was still wearing the bib and glasses. I REFUSE to sit there and be humiliated. I had this when I was a kid and I will not take it now.

This serves only to feed dental phobia, it does not cure it. It is not constructive or 'positive', which is really where she needs to focus on.

 

[KrisB]

Thank you very much Stress Doc for the ideas!

As I do when I get nervous, I've been scouring Google trying to find some positive dental ideas to help me get over this pre-dental anxiety.

Thanks to you, I'm definitely going to communicate well with my next dentist and at the check up I'll try and explore ways which will lighten my nerves. For example, if I knew the treatment took place in just one or two appointments, rather than being spread out all over my Summer, I'd probably feel a little more chirpy about things. Also, I might ask about IV sedation as just thinking about it now has lightened some of my worries.

Also, thanks Graham. My original dentist and I mutually agreed it would be better were I referred to the county dentistry scheme I think it was, which meant an appointment at Rowner, which I believe is in Gosport, or Fareham health centre in Fareham Town Centre depending upon whom had the shortest waiting list. As it turns out, I'm going to be going to Fareham Health Centre, but, as the dentist also contacted Gosport, I assume they also offer Gas and Air.

Hope this helps.

 

[Dave48]

Hope everything goes well for you KrisB.


Dave.

 

[KrisB]

Thanks Dave. Only 2 hours til my check-up now, and I must say, I'm not as nervous as I expected to be.

My heart is still racing but I'm not pacing up and down the living room like I was last time. I'm sure once my treatment plan is explained and it comes round to actually being in the chair the anxiety will kick in once more.

Hopefully she/he is a nice dentist who I can speak openly with and sort out a plan that suits me. Fingers crossed that'll mean getting it all done in one foul swoop so I can enjoy the rest of my Summer.

I will update once I get back and I'm sure it won't be long til I'm posting about my pre-treatment anxiety rather than my pre-check-up anxiety.

Thanks for the advice by the way everyone. You have helped bundles!

 

[readergirl41]

Hopefully this time Kris your new dentist will be nicer.

I wish these dentists would realise it takes us all our time to actually get to the clinic, and thats before we get in the chair

And I remember what one clever poster put on the site, you are interviewing them to see if they are right for you as well as them checking your teeth..

For some reason thinking like that does make it easier.

remember we are all there for you and post on your progress

 

[KrisB]

Okay; appointment was over a while ago now.

Gladly this dentist was very nice, but, seen as it was a referral for a 'nervous patient' I got the feeling she treated me like anyone else. I explained the fears and whatnot and we had a small but pleasant chat.

After a much more thorough examination than my previous, it would seem I might be needing a couple of extractions rather than one, as well as numerous fillings.

This was bad enough news, but, when I went to book my appointment for a scale and polish and an opportunity to discuss a treatment plan, I got informed that the dentist I had seen was in fact about to move dentistry.

This then meant that I've had to book another check-up with a new dentist, which, is slightly crazy. 3 check ups in 4 or so weeks!?

Oh well, I'm sure I'll be less nervous about a 3rd check up than I will be when the treatment starts.

Thank you people for all your support. I've got a couple of weeks of happy living before the nerves will kick in! I shall make the most of it.

 

[Dave48]

Your welcome I wish you the best of luck.


Dave.

 

[GrahamDee]

It does get easier with time and soon you won't even think about the dentist.

Incidentally, there is a NHS referral clinic in Portsmouth which does IV sedation for £45 - a really awesome way to get treatment, but you will need the dentist to refer you and there will be a long wait.

Failing that, I can recommend a private dentist in Gosport that does IV.

 

[rosemarytheresa]

It does get easier with time and soon you won't even think about the dentist.

Incidentally, there is a NHS referral clinic in Portsmouth which does IV sedation for £45 - a really awesome way to get treatment, but you will need the dentist to refer you and there will be a long wait.

Failing that, I can recommend a private dentist in Gosport that does IV.

Hi was at the sedation dentist yesterday but need one in gosport that offers sedation can you help? thanks Rosemarytheresa