S
sunflower32
Member
- Joined
- May 5, 2016
- Messages
- 74
- Location
- USA
Hi everyone. I've been lurking on this forum for a couple of months and wanted to share my story in hopes that it might help others with their fears (it's nice to know we aren't alone in our fears). I'm 34 years old, female, living in the US. Two months ago, I went to the dentist for the first time in 18 years. Even though I'm becoming more vocal to people I know about my dental fears, I've never actually told anyone the number of years I've been away from the dentist...too embarrassing...but here I know I'm not alone.
As a child, my parents took me to the dentist pretty regularly, and while I never liked going, I don't remember being outright fearful, though I think I still had some avoidance, even back then (I'm a very anxious person). I never had one bad experience that made me say "Aha! THAT is why I'm afraid of the dentist!" Looking back on my childhood dental experiences, I think that one of the things I didn't like was that, since my dad was in the military, my parents always took me to military dentists (at least until I was about 12), who I feel had zero bedside manner. I'm realizing now that bedside manner is super important to me. As a kid, I never used to brush my teeth all that well, and my gums often bled. I never liked my teeth...they were too yellow and not pretty and straight like I wanted them to look. Still, I never had even one cavity. When I was 12, I had my first experience of getting a tooth pulled. A premolar erupted and pushed the baby tooth off to the side, so instead of the tooth falling out, it got wedged between the permanent tooth and my gums. I didn't want to go to the dentist so badly that I didn't tell my mom I needed to go to the dentist, even though I could no longer chew on the left side of my mouth. When I finally went and had it pulled, it actually wasn't that awful of an experience, but I was so nervous that I threw up right there in the dentist's office (I made it to the bathroom!).
The last time I had any sort of dental care before my 18 year absence was when I was 15 and I had to go to an oral surgeon to get an impacted premolar removed (it was coming in completely *wrong*: sideways and near the permanent tooth behind the baby tooth it was supposed to replace). Once again, it wasn't that bad an experience. I even remember the oral surgeon being really nice and gentle. So why did I then avoid the dentist for almost 2 decades? Probably numerous factors. I'm an anxious person...it was easier not to go and easier to avoid even thinking about it. Of course the longer I went without going to the dentist, the more I worried about how bad my teeth were becoming. That when I finally did go back, I'd have a ton of cavities, need root canals, etc. It really is awful how much our imaginations can become our own worst enemies. Not going to the dentist became my embarrassing little secret that I never told ANYONE about, and I felt like I MUST be the only person with this fear, the only person who hadn't gone to the dentist in sooo long (unfortunately, I didn't find this website until after I started going back to the dentist, so I didn't know how wrong my assumptions were).
I've been slowly trying to change little things in my life for the better, like attempting to not let my anxiety run my life.Which is what got me back to the dentist. It was really hard though. I slowly started researching dental practices online, looking for one near me that would be good for my dental anxiety. I made my choice when I found an office on Yelp that had dozens of reviews that were all 5 stars. That was it...I was going to make the call! Honestly, I can't quite remember how I actually made the call. I must've looked like a deer in headlights! I was embarrassed (and still am) by my fear, so while I told the receptionist during that initial call about my anxiety, I felt like I didn't want to make a big deal about it. It was nice when the receptionist said "you know, most people are anxious about going to the dentist". The validation of my fear felt great! I had found the right office! At the first visit, felt like I was going to burst into tears in the waiting room, which I didn't, thank goodness! I have discovered that I'm actually kind of "ok" when I'm in "the chair"; it's just everything leading up to it that causes me to panic. Anyway, I can't tell you how relieved I was when the dentist told me that I have good teeth (how I have good teeth after 18 years of avoidance is beyond me). I had one cavity (my first), I found out I'm a grinder, and I need an implant (I already knew that though; I have a baby premolar that's so eroded that it's like half a tooth).
At first, I was hesitant to tell my story on here because my teeth aren't that bad compared to some stories I've read on here and my fear is maybe moderate at the most. I didn't want to come off like "18 years away and you only had one cavity, what are you complaining about?" But fear is fear, and it real. And it's irrational...and illogical. And can make you feel like you're completely alone. And this forum seems like such a supportive place that I just wanted to be a part of.
I've been to five dental appointments in the last 2 months: the initial checkup/xrays/cleaning for one, I got my cavity filled (no drilling needed! It was just a hole with no decay), I got an NTI, which is a kind of night guard, I went to a consultation at an oral surgeon for an implant I'm getting in October, and I went yesterday to get my filling shaved down a bit because my bite was starting to feel off. At first I felt like I had completely conquered my fear, but I know that's not true because I started to panic when I realized I had to make an appointment to get the filling looked at. It was a ten minute appointment that I knew in my logical mind was no big deal, but I still freaked out about it. So I have a ways to go yet, and I know I'll probably always have some fear of the dentist, but I'm so proud of myself for finally going back.
As a child, my parents took me to the dentist pretty regularly, and while I never liked going, I don't remember being outright fearful, though I think I still had some avoidance, even back then (I'm a very anxious person). I never had one bad experience that made me say "Aha! THAT is why I'm afraid of the dentist!" Looking back on my childhood dental experiences, I think that one of the things I didn't like was that, since my dad was in the military, my parents always took me to military dentists (at least until I was about 12), who I feel had zero bedside manner. I'm realizing now that bedside manner is super important to me. As a kid, I never used to brush my teeth all that well, and my gums often bled. I never liked my teeth...they were too yellow and not pretty and straight like I wanted them to look. Still, I never had even one cavity. When I was 12, I had my first experience of getting a tooth pulled. A premolar erupted and pushed the baby tooth off to the side, so instead of the tooth falling out, it got wedged between the permanent tooth and my gums. I didn't want to go to the dentist so badly that I didn't tell my mom I needed to go to the dentist, even though I could no longer chew on the left side of my mouth. When I finally went and had it pulled, it actually wasn't that awful of an experience, but I was so nervous that I threw up right there in the dentist's office (I made it to the bathroom!).
The last time I had any sort of dental care before my 18 year absence was when I was 15 and I had to go to an oral surgeon to get an impacted premolar removed (it was coming in completely *wrong*: sideways and near the permanent tooth behind the baby tooth it was supposed to replace). Once again, it wasn't that bad an experience. I even remember the oral surgeon being really nice and gentle. So why did I then avoid the dentist for almost 2 decades? Probably numerous factors. I'm an anxious person...it was easier not to go and easier to avoid even thinking about it. Of course the longer I went without going to the dentist, the more I worried about how bad my teeth were becoming. That when I finally did go back, I'd have a ton of cavities, need root canals, etc. It really is awful how much our imaginations can become our own worst enemies. Not going to the dentist became my embarrassing little secret that I never told ANYONE about, and I felt like I MUST be the only person with this fear, the only person who hadn't gone to the dentist in sooo long (unfortunately, I didn't find this website until after I started going back to the dentist, so I didn't know how wrong my assumptions were).
I've been slowly trying to change little things in my life for the better, like attempting to not let my anxiety run my life.Which is what got me back to the dentist. It was really hard though. I slowly started researching dental practices online, looking for one near me that would be good for my dental anxiety. I made my choice when I found an office on Yelp that had dozens of reviews that were all 5 stars. That was it...I was going to make the call! Honestly, I can't quite remember how I actually made the call. I must've looked like a deer in headlights! I was embarrassed (and still am) by my fear, so while I told the receptionist during that initial call about my anxiety, I felt like I didn't want to make a big deal about it. It was nice when the receptionist said "you know, most people are anxious about going to the dentist". The validation of my fear felt great! I had found the right office! At the first visit, felt like I was going to burst into tears in the waiting room, which I didn't, thank goodness! I have discovered that I'm actually kind of "ok" when I'm in "the chair"; it's just everything leading up to it that causes me to panic. Anyway, I can't tell you how relieved I was when the dentist told me that I have good teeth (how I have good teeth after 18 years of avoidance is beyond me). I had one cavity (my first), I found out I'm a grinder, and I need an implant (I already knew that though; I have a baby premolar that's so eroded that it's like half a tooth).
At first, I was hesitant to tell my story on here because my teeth aren't that bad compared to some stories I've read on here and my fear is maybe moderate at the most. I didn't want to come off like "18 years away and you only had one cavity, what are you complaining about?" But fear is fear, and it real. And it's irrational...and illogical. And can make you feel like you're completely alone. And this forum seems like such a supportive place that I just wanted to be a part of.
I've been to five dental appointments in the last 2 months: the initial checkup/xrays/cleaning for one, I got my cavity filled (no drilling needed! It was just a hole with no decay), I got an NTI, which is a kind of night guard, I went to a consultation at an oral surgeon for an implant I'm getting in October, and I went yesterday to get my filling shaved down a bit because my bite was starting to feel off. At first I felt like I had completely conquered my fear, but I know that's not true because I started to panic when I realized I had to make an appointment to get the filling looked at. It was a ten minute appointment that I knew in my logical mind was no big deal, but I still freaked out about it. So I have a ways to go yet, and I know I'll probably always have some fear of the dentist, but I'm so proud of myself for finally going back.
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