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Scared about upcoming visit to dentist

J

jklb

Junior member
Joined
Dec 8, 2015
Messages
5
Hi all
I'm in my mid 20's and want to get braces to straighten my teeth.

I've not been to a dentist in 10+ years and i am terrified.

Mostly of:

Being told I need my wisdom teeth removed (then being told i need a general anasthetic)
Being told my jaw needs to be broken
Having a decayed tooth removed (and the dentist saying something rude)

I am just terrified in general, and I believe i need extensive work done (ie fillings, extractions, braces)

What is a coping mechanism while I am there for my first consultation? I am generally pretty cruise-y and easy going, but this has be shaking in my boots.

K
 
Hi and welcome! I found myself in a similar situation as you...I just turned 30 this year, hadn't seen a dentist in 20+ years, have pretty severely crowded teeth and wanted to straighten them, knew I'd be in for extensive work, and was TERRIFIED.

First of all, try not to get carried away about what work you may or may not need - it will just drive you crazy and overwhelm you. I know this is easier said than done because I do this ALL THE TIME, but it may not be as bad as you think it is in your head.

Finding the right dentist will make a world of difference. That first appointment is always the worst, but finding a dentist/orthodontist you trust and feel comfortable with will make things a lot easier as time goes on (still not quite there with my orthodontist, but am getting there). A good dentist won't make rude remarks or shame you for the condition for your mouth. I was terrified what they were going to say because my mouth was a mess. At my initial consultation, my orthodontist said that while there was a lot going on in my mouth, I "have some nice teeth in there" and that he was confident that I would have a great result after getting everything healthy and doing the orthodontics. He referred me to a general dentist, who has been awesome, and after I remarked that my teeth were a mess, just simply replied that he wasn't there to judge and that all he wanted to do was help me.

Tell them you're scared - I suck at this, but they aren't mind-readers and they won't know unless you tell them. Try to breathe through the appointment - I just tried to remember that in the overall scheme of things, it would just take a short while and that it would be over soon. The ortodontic consult is super quick. A good dentist should also let you take things at your own pace, to suit your comfort level. Ask for breaks if you need them.

I've just finished my first round of treatment a few weeks ago (a ton of fillings), and am doing the diagnostic records (x-rays, molds, photographs, etc) for the orthodontics in January. Then several extractions, then braces put on immediately after. I am honestly still a bit overwhelmed by all of this, and it's still a looooong road ahead, but seeing how far I've come in the last few months, and seeing all the changes in my mouth already after all this treatment, I am excited to start.

Good luck, and let us know how it goes!
 
Hi and welcome! I found myself in a similar situation as you...I just turned 30 this year, hadn't seen a dentist in 20+ years, have pretty severely crowded teeth and wanted to straighten them, knew I'd be in for extensive work, and was TERRIFIED.

First of all, try not to get carried away about what work you may or may not need - it will just drive you crazy and overwhelm you. I know this is easier said than done because I do this ALL THE TIME, but it may not be as bad as you think it is in your head.

Finding the right dentist will make a world of difference. That first appointment is always the worst, but finding a dentist/orthodontist you trust and feel comfortable with will make things a lot easier as time goes on (still not quite there with my orthodontist, but am getting there). A good dentist won't make rude remarks or shame you for the condition for your mouth. I was terrified what they were going to say because my mouth was a mess. At my initial consultation, my orthodontist said that while there was a lot going on in my mouth, I "have some nice teeth in there" and that he was confident that I would have a great result after getting everything healthy and doing the orthodontics. He referred me to a general dentist, who has been awesome, and after I remarked that my teeth were a mess, just simply replied that he wasn't there to judge and that all he wanted to do was help me.

Tell them you're scared - I suck at this, but they aren't mind-readers and they won't know unless you tell them. Try to breathe through the appointment - I just tried to remember that in the overall scheme of things, it would just take a short while and that it would be over soon. The ortodontic consult is super quick. A good dentist should also let you take things at your own pace, to suit your comfort level. Ask for breaks if you need them.

I've just finished my first round of treatment a few weeks ago (a ton of fillings), and am doing the diagnostic records (x-rays, molds, photographs, etc) for the orthodontics in January. Then several extractions, then braces put on immediately after. I am honestly still a bit overwhelmed by all of this, and it's still a looooong road ahead, but seeing how far I've come in the last few months, and seeing all the changes in my mouth already after all this treatment, I am excited to start.

Good luck, and let us know how it goes!

Your situation sounds exactly like mine, glad it's not just me.

Do fillings hurt? I do think i will also need those too.

I'll just take a deep breath and take it as it comes. Thank you!
 
Here in the USA, a dentist doing fillings without anesthetic is practically unheard of, but I get the impression that is not the case elsewhere. The best way around filling pain? Have the dentist use anesthetic! If you tell him/her about your extreme fears, (s)he might insist on it anyway. Once the anesthetic wears off, there is usually no pain at all. Sometimes the jaw might be a little sore, but that passes in a day or so.

Another couple thoughts - fight your tooth battles one at a time. Don't worry about the braces until that time comes, a dentist won't (and shouldn't) do that until everything else is fixed. If you need multiple fixes, the dentist can tell you which are most important. Some of it can wait longer.

If you're still overwhelmed by it all after some work gets done, though, I suspect the braces are optional if you can chew and eat fairly normally. It'll be okay if, in the end, you choose not to fight that battle at all.

A couple of things you can do while in the dentist's chair that help - first, hold your legs straight out during especially tense moments. I do it all the time when I get x-rays and when I'm not sure the anesthetic is working quite yet. Second, concentrate on your nose. Think about the tip of it and the breath passing through your nostrils. Sounds silly but it works.
 
Your situation sounds exactly like mine, glad it's not just me.

Do fillings hurt? I do think i will also need those too.

I'll just take a deep breath and take it as it comes. Thank you!

No! They will numb you up, so while you may feel a little bit of pressure and some vibration, none of it should be painful at all. Even the numbing injections are just tiniest little pinches. My dentist likes to tell me that the worst part of it is just keeping your mouth open, and I find that to be mostly true.

Another couple thoughts - fight your tooth battles one at a time. Don't worry about the braces until that time comes, a dentist won't (and shouldn't) do that until everything else is fixed. If you need multiple fixes, the dentist can tell you which are most important. Some of it can wait longer.
This is absolutely true - your first and most important priority will be to get your mouth healthy again before any orthodontics start. In my case, my treatment planning has been a collaborative effort between me, my dentist, and my orthodontist, and part of my treatment plan ended up tying in with orthodontics (closing gaps from the extractions by shifting teeth around instead of squeezing prosthetic teeth into too small spaces). Thinking of the big picture and having an end goal has been helpful, but my dentist broke it down into steps so that it's less overwhelming and more manageable. But yeah, one step at a time. :)
 
Last edited:
Just an update, I went to the dentist today and it was horrible!!
She spoke to me like rubbish and was almost yelling when I said how long it had been between visits.
I said at the start I was scared (shaking and almost crying) and she continued to treat me like crap.

I won't be going through them to get any work done.

Do any of you have recommendations in Victoria/Melbourne - Australia?
I'm so disheartened :(
 
Well, at least you know who isn't your ally in this fight ...

I'd hope there's something similar in Australia - but here in the USA, when you look up dentists in online phone books and the like, there are often reviews and ratings. If other patients get the same treatment as you from this dentist, it might not be too hard to find one with a better rating. And specific reviews would give you some feeling as to bedside manner.

One thing I've discovered about dentists is that an individual recommendation for one is often not reliable. It means that the dentist met that person's needs - but that person's needs may be far less than or different from yours, and they may not have a basis to compare their dentist to another. Only people with more dental problems than usual (or maybe people who have moved around a lot) could give you any comparison or ideas about what to look for.

If you can find local reviews and ratings, where more people than just one give a dentist a thumbs-up, you're more likely to pick a better one. Hope you can find a resource like this.
 
Sorry to hear your appointment didn't go well...definitely don't go back to them!

Maybe you can find someone on the find a dentist section of this forum?
 
I agree with littlething and bcjch about not going back to that dentist. I would have done the same thing. Even though i go to the dentist regularly for checkups and get any treatment done. Littlething made a good comment about telling them how scared you are. I always tell my dentist and her assistant how scared I am
 
To follow on from Thephilsblogbar's post ... it seems to me that sometimes dental professionals, especially hygienists, have kind of a charmed life if the main cause of their bad day is a squirming patient. (Over the years, there have been several I've wanted to slap.) If you tell them at the first that you're scared, you should be able to tell if their reaction is "ok, quit being a baby", even if they don't say anything.

Remember, if what you're having done is something like a cleaning which requires no anesthetic or drilling or anything special, you have the right to walk out at any time. You don't have to put up with Conan the Tootharian. Maybe that will even help make corrections - half-decent practices ought to follow up after something like that, even if you never go back. If Conan is the dentist, it might not happen, but the dentist can certainly drop the hammer on an over-the-top hygienist. Odds are you aren't the only patient that feels that way.
 
I just want to post a follow up comment to my previous comments

I did some research and found another orthodontist (with dentists on site) and they were lovely. The orthodontist owns the surgery and she is THE loveliest medical professional i've ever met. I decided then I'd get the work done there, and had my first 6 fillings and a clean done yesterday. It's not for everyone, but my fillings didn't need anesthetic, so I can't comment on that. I'm due to have 4 extractions (pre-braces) on 29 February.

I explained my fears upfront (ie had a tooth pulled as a child in those dental trucks without anesthetic which was terrible for a primary school age child.)

If you are in Australia/Melbourne i recommend Smile Avenue. Once extractions and braces are done i'll post another update :)

To all of you - you can do it! <3

K
 
I just went after 10 years, Its a learning experience for me also. I need 1 crow and 6fillings just to start plus I have one tooth that isn't straight. I'm still nerves about getting something removed
 
Another update on my braces journey

I had 4 extractions done yesterday at the same ortho/dentist practice. One tooth just didn't want to come out and it was awful! The dentist was great and reassuring but I was super-nervous in the chair.

It's all done now and i just need to look forward to having straight, white teeth.

To all of you out there a bit nervous about your upcoming appointment - be brave! You can do it xx
 
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