robotguy
Well-known member
- Joined
- Feb 2, 2010
- Messages
- 398
- Location
- Nr Cambridge UK
Hi all, after lurking for a couple of months I've just joined and wanted to say a big thank-you to everyone who joins in on here. not everyone has the courage to post about their fears but just reading what others have written really helps, this can be a truly lonely phobia.
I have been avoiding the dentist for just over 26 years. My phobia was so severe that I couldn't talk about teeth or dentists at all, seeing TV programs featuring dental stuff had me running from the room, as would anyone even talking about teeth in the same room as me.
My world came crashing down just over two months ago when I had the worst pain ever from an abcess. To be honest, I'm surprised that I haven't have more problems, as I have totally neglected my mouth for years. No amount of pain killers helped this time and I swelled up like a hamster, I thought people with huge swolen chins was just a comedy thing, but it really happens!
I asked my wife for help, I knew I couldn't ring a dentist or talk sensibly about my problems. First of all she got me an appointment with my local doctor. I explained to him that I thought I had an abcess and then he asked to do the thing I dreaded the most, he wanted to look inside my mouth. This was extreemly hard to do and had me in tears from the shame I felt, but I eventually did it. He agreed that a dental abcess was most likely and gave me antibiotics to kill the infection. He urged me to go to a dentist to 'get sorted out' (his words), he offered me mild sedation drugs just to get me to the dentist if I needed them, he could see how hard this was for me.
The next thing my wife did was to ring up some dentists, to find out my options and to book an apointment for me ASAP. One dentist surgery she contacted said that they could reccomend an axenity therapist that may help. The therapist was primaraly the dental hygenist they use, but she was fully trained in anexiety therapy and worked from a seperate premises to their main surgery. I was impressed they took my fears seriously and that the suggested therapy away from their surgery. She booked an appointment with a dentist for a few weeks time anyway, as appointmets are not available quickly.
Then my wife contacted the reccomended therapist, explained just how bad I was and managed to book an apointment for me that evening with her.
During that afternoon I decided that this fear had held me for too long and I wanted to get over it, even though I did fear that my teeth were a lost cause. I searched online for help and found this site. I couldn't read any of the forum posts, that was too difficult for me, but I did read through a lot of the 'Common Fears' section with tears running down my face. This was silly, I couldn't even read about getting help without breaking down. A lot of what I did manage to read though made sense to me.
Well that evening my wife took me to the therapist. First impressions were of a modern office, none of the old posters that reminded me of dentists, one wall was a large waterfall feaure, indeed this was a very relaxing place.
The therapist came to see me in the reception and led me to a quiet area just outside her hygenist room, the door was partly open and I could see the chair inside, this did un-nerve me a bit. I later learned that this was just to gage my reactions, the door would have been shut if I couldn't handle just seeing the chair. We sat down and just talked. At no time did she lecture me or push me, I was totally honest with her over my fears and how I felt about teeth in general. I also did not try to hide my fear or how bad I was, I'm not ashamed to say I sobbed quite a bit.
I've been to see her about eight times, I've learnt so much about why I felt why I do with dentists. I've learnt about teeth and why mine look like they do after years of neglect, I also found out that extraction is not my only option. I found it good to talk to someone who is trained in dentistry, to get an honest answer to my questions. She allowed me to move at my pace, gradually working up to sitting in the chair and allowing me to learn what I'm comfortable with. She showed me other ways of dealing with major problem tasks; for instance letting someone look into my mouth I found very stressful, but I discovered that I could show her my teeth if she sat by my side and I used a mirror. I could tell her what she was going to see, then show her in the mirror, I had control over the speed it happened and what she saw. To me this was better than someone looking down on me, passing judgement over all my mouth in one go. Now she has seen them, she can't un-see them. It won't be a shock the next time she looks in there and is much less likely to pass judgement without meaning to.
One thing I did learn is that I can't have hypnotherapy. The therapist is fully trained in hypnotherapy and we tried it one evening, but it caused me to totally panic when we got under way. This was not a problem for her, it was just one tool that she could use, not the only one.
She taught me so much, I truly did not believe that talking could help so much, (I told early on that I didn't know how talking would help me, I appoligised to her a few weeks later, when with her help so much had come clear to me).
Last week I went to the original dentist surgery on my own, I just dropped in, my appointment wasn't for three more weeks. I explained to the receptionist that I was having therapy over my dental fear and didn't quite know why I was there. I think I went just to see how much improved I was, only a few months ago I would never have been able to even think aout going into a dentist surgery. I managed to meet the dentist I had an appointment booked with. I would love to say that everything worked out at this point but it didn't. Using what I had learned in therapy I basically interviewed the dentist and soon learned that she wasn't the one for me.
I was devistated that it didn't work out. I went and saw my therapist the next day and told her what had happened. We looked into the reasons the dentist failed my interview the day before, it became clear that it was that the dentist couldn't give me the time to use the techniques I had learned. She suggested that as the NHS dentists are always up against time, I may have to consider going private to be able to go at my speed. This was not such a shock as I had been discussing this option with my wife earlier.
I got an appointment that afternoon with a private dentist. I was able to explain what I was scared of and she listened to me. She then allowed me to show her my teeth in a mirror, just as I had practiced in therapy. The session ended with me laying in the chair, allowing the dentist to look in my mouth and I didn't panic.
I am going agian tomorrow to finish off the examination, yes its a bit extreeme to take two sessions just to get examined, but I'm happy with the speed. For years I have had destistry done TO me, now I'm working WITH a dentist to have done what I need. Its not going to be a quick journey, and I fear its going to cost a bit too, but without the therapy I would still be hiding away with the shame of my teeth.
I'm going to plug the therapist rather than the dentist, because without her help I would not be able to even look for a dentist. The place is:
Enhance Dental Spa in Ely, Cambridgeshire
enhancedentalspa.co.uk
The therapists name is Bobby Keeling (although she isn't listed on their website):
I'm sorry this is a long first post and thank you for reading this far.
I have been avoiding the dentist for just over 26 years. My phobia was so severe that I couldn't talk about teeth or dentists at all, seeing TV programs featuring dental stuff had me running from the room, as would anyone even talking about teeth in the same room as me.
My world came crashing down just over two months ago when I had the worst pain ever from an abcess. To be honest, I'm surprised that I haven't have more problems, as I have totally neglected my mouth for years. No amount of pain killers helped this time and I swelled up like a hamster, I thought people with huge swolen chins was just a comedy thing, but it really happens!
I asked my wife for help, I knew I couldn't ring a dentist or talk sensibly about my problems. First of all she got me an appointment with my local doctor. I explained to him that I thought I had an abcess and then he asked to do the thing I dreaded the most, he wanted to look inside my mouth. This was extreemly hard to do and had me in tears from the shame I felt, but I eventually did it. He agreed that a dental abcess was most likely and gave me antibiotics to kill the infection. He urged me to go to a dentist to 'get sorted out' (his words), he offered me mild sedation drugs just to get me to the dentist if I needed them, he could see how hard this was for me.
The next thing my wife did was to ring up some dentists, to find out my options and to book an apointment for me ASAP. One dentist surgery she contacted said that they could reccomend an axenity therapist that may help. The therapist was primaraly the dental hygenist they use, but she was fully trained in anexiety therapy and worked from a seperate premises to their main surgery. I was impressed they took my fears seriously and that the suggested therapy away from their surgery. She booked an appointment with a dentist for a few weeks time anyway, as appointmets are not available quickly.
Then my wife contacted the reccomended therapist, explained just how bad I was and managed to book an apointment for me that evening with her.
During that afternoon I decided that this fear had held me for too long and I wanted to get over it, even though I did fear that my teeth were a lost cause. I searched online for help and found this site. I couldn't read any of the forum posts, that was too difficult for me, but I did read through a lot of the 'Common Fears' section with tears running down my face. This was silly, I couldn't even read about getting help without breaking down. A lot of what I did manage to read though made sense to me.
Well that evening my wife took me to the therapist. First impressions were of a modern office, none of the old posters that reminded me of dentists, one wall was a large waterfall feaure, indeed this was a very relaxing place.
The therapist came to see me in the reception and led me to a quiet area just outside her hygenist room, the door was partly open and I could see the chair inside, this did un-nerve me a bit. I later learned that this was just to gage my reactions, the door would have been shut if I couldn't handle just seeing the chair. We sat down and just talked. At no time did she lecture me or push me, I was totally honest with her over my fears and how I felt about teeth in general. I also did not try to hide my fear or how bad I was, I'm not ashamed to say I sobbed quite a bit.
I've been to see her about eight times, I've learnt so much about why I felt why I do with dentists. I've learnt about teeth and why mine look like they do after years of neglect, I also found out that extraction is not my only option. I found it good to talk to someone who is trained in dentistry, to get an honest answer to my questions. She allowed me to move at my pace, gradually working up to sitting in the chair and allowing me to learn what I'm comfortable with. She showed me other ways of dealing with major problem tasks; for instance letting someone look into my mouth I found very stressful, but I discovered that I could show her my teeth if she sat by my side and I used a mirror. I could tell her what she was going to see, then show her in the mirror, I had control over the speed it happened and what she saw. To me this was better than someone looking down on me, passing judgement over all my mouth in one go. Now she has seen them, she can't un-see them. It won't be a shock the next time she looks in there and is much less likely to pass judgement without meaning to.
One thing I did learn is that I can't have hypnotherapy. The therapist is fully trained in hypnotherapy and we tried it one evening, but it caused me to totally panic when we got under way. This was not a problem for her, it was just one tool that she could use, not the only one.
She taught me so much, I truly did not believe that talking could help so much, (I told early on that I didn't know how talking would help me, I appoligised to her a few weeks later, when with her help so much had come clear to me).
Last week I went to the original dentist surgery on my own, I just dropped in, my appointment wasn't for three more weeks. I explained to the receptionist that I was having therapy over my dental fear and didn't quite know why I was there. I think I went just to see how much improved I was, only a few months ago I would never have been able to even think aout going into a dentist surgery. I managed to meet the dentist I had an appointment booked with. I would love to say that everything worked out at this point but it didn't. Using what I had learned in therapy I basically interviewed the dentist and soon learned that she wasn't the one for me.
I was devistated that it didn't work out. I went and saw my therapist the next day and told her what had happened. We looked into the reasons the dentist failed my interview the day before, it became clear that it was that the dentist couldn't give me the time to use the techniques I had learned. She suggested that as the NHS dentists are always up against time, I may have to consider going private to be able to go at my speed. This was not such a shock as I had been discussing this option with my wife earlier.
I got an appointment that afternoon with a private dentist. I was able to explain what I was scared of and she listened to me. She then allowed me to show her my teeth in a mirror, just as I had practiced in therapy. The session ended with me laying in the chair, allowing the dentist to look in my mouth and I didn't panic.
I am going agian tomorrow to finish off the examination, yes its a bit extreeme to take two sessions just to get examined, but I'm happy with the speed. For years I have had destistry done TO me, now I'm working WITH a dentist to have done what I need. Its not going to be a quick journey, and I fear its going to cost a bit too, but without the therapy I would still be hiding away with the shame of my teeth.
I'm going to plug the therapist rather than the dentist, because without her help I would not be able to even look for a dentist. The place is:
Enhance Dental Spa in Ely, Cambridgeshire
Dentist Ely - Private and Cosmetic Dentist Near Me
Welcome to Enhance Dental! Our highly experienced team of dentists in Ely offer a range of general and cosmetic dental treatments. Contact us today!
enhancedentalspa.co.uk
The therapists name is Bobby Keeling (although she isn't listed on their website):
I'm sorry this is a long first post and thank you for reading this far.
