The dentist assistance scares me

[De8934]

I have found a dentist that seems to have the patience of a saint. He listens to me and nothing seems too much effort. unfortuatley his assistant is the most uncaring, miserable person i having every come across.

I find her manner disturbing and it makes me feel uncomfortable. I was having some treatment recently and politley asked for a tissue. she grunted "use the bib". I later was taken by surprise when she removed the bib and I automatically grabbed it. I'm not sure why, but now I'm not given a bib when having treatment and the splashes of water go on my clothes. as for the eye protection it's "put these on". The dentist says nothing and I dont know how to deal with this situation. She makes me feel nervous and I'm frightened to ask for a tissue.

what can I do? I feel comfortable with the dentist but the assistant scares me.

Thank you

 

[mghstl]

I hear you...I honestly care more about liking my hygienist/assistant than my actual dentist.
Say something, if you can. It's tough, if you're a whimp like me. But I'm getting better about asserting myself...hope the same for you.

 

[Root6dee6]

I have yet to experience anyone yet, but when I met my dentist, his assistant was with him and she seemed super nice and understanding... as a matter of fact, she is the one my partner talked with a month prior to my actual visit!

I hope she's always with him....

Perhaps you can talk to your dentist and discuss how you feel about her or how she treats you? something to consider.

 

[De8934]

Thank you for your support. I'm not an assertive person. 'wimp' may be a correct description of me, however, we can't all be brave.

I'll try to toughen up and 'kick ass'.

 

[comfortdentist]

Probablely the dental assistant scares the dentist too!

 

[RP]

When you call for your next appointment tell them she makes you "uncomfortable" and ask if they have anyone else. Does the dentist have email? Explain that you have dental fear, and he is great but..............

 

[De8934]

The assistant seems effieceint but seems to forget that there is a patient in the chair. I have been told by aother patient that goes there that the assistant is a trained hygienist and worked in that role for this practice until recently. However, her skills are no longer required with this NHS practice as the dentist do the scaling and polishing. Maybe thats got something to do with it.

I have discussed this with a friend at work who is a representative for prevention of harrasment and bullying in the work place. Her suggestion was that I dont ask the assistant for a tissue if I feel I need one but ask the dentist and have all communication through the dentist especially as he seems sensitive to my concerns and fears about treatment. Se also said that generally nurses and dental assistants are friendly and welcoming as they have been trained to give a positive impression, but for some reason this assistant has some issues, and that, if her attitude affects patient care then it needs to be adressed.

Emailing the dentist is also an option RP but I would hate it if the assitant knew I had done this.

Thank you all for your support

 

[biffo1963]

I've often wondered why dental nurses never seem to talk to the patient, except to call you into the surgery.... Training, my arse !


John

 

[vicki]

The thing is, that if she worked anywhere else, like for example your hairdressers, you probably wouldn't put up with that sort of behaviour and would say something because you're paying for a service (which includes them being polite to you).

Dental nurses are no different. They just as much part of the 'customer service offering' at a dental practice as the dentist is (and the receptionists too).

Having said that, it can be quite difficult to say something in that situation if you're feeling anxious or nervous. The thing is though, unless you say something, they won't know that it has either irritated or upset you. It took a long time for me to realise it because I used to find it very difficult to speak up for myself. I used to wish that the dentist would somehow just 'know'. But they don't because they're dentists, not mind readers. From the sounds of it, your dentist is very patient and so maybe mentioning it to him might be an answer? Alternatively, you could just hope that by asking him for a tissue instead of the dental nurse, that she'll get the message.

From my experience, dental nurses come in three types:

The young 16-18 year old whipper snappers: These are the one's who've just left school and want a job where they get free training and a reasonable wage. The only trouble is that they have no real understanding of what the job entails and so just do as they're told without thinking for themselves. They're also not really old enough to have had the life experience which would enable them to pick up on subtle signals that patients might be nervous. This is one of the types that only speaks to you to call your name in the waiting room.

The frustrated dentist: This is the dental nurse who secretly wants to be a dentist, but probably didn't get the right qualifications at school (and probably don't have the right aptitude for the job anyway). Therefore they applied for a job as a dental nurse instead and spend most of their working day concentrating on assisting the dentist and doing the interesting bits of the job, whilst not paying much attention to the niceties such as patient communication. This type also usually only speaks to bark your name in the waiting room. If you're lucky they might also mutter a few words at you during your appointment. Is often grumpy.

The nice dental nurse (they do exist!): This is the type who applied for the job because they were genuinely interested in it and wanted to work with people. They usually make an effort to get to know the patients and will make conversation with you to try and put you at ease. Will also hold your hand if required. You know you've found this type when the nurse talks to you just as much as the dentist does and you sense that they work well together.

I've often wondered why dental nurses never seem to talk to the patient, except to call you into the surgery.... Training, my arse !

Because they're too busy to be bothered with nonsense like talking to patients - they're too important for that! If they don't at least try to make polite conversation by asking how I am, then I play them at their own game and ignore them!

 

[De8934]

Thank you for your reply.

On reflection I think the assistant may be the frustrated dentist type. She seems to busy herself in the room but seems to do very little. It must be frustrating to be qualified to do a job like hygienist but then only be the dentists assistant. Her knowledge must be far greater than the brightest dental nurse yet all she does is call in the patient, mix fillings and sterilise instruments.

I would never say anything to the dentist or the nurse. I find the enviroment difficult enough but dealing only with the dentist sound much better. I know that asking for a tissue may sound trivial to some but it's the little things that make me feel comfortable. Iv'e never met a dentist like him. not that iv'e been to many, but i want to keep this dentist.

 

[Dave48]

biffo1963 is right and so is Vicki there is some that do not give a tuppence Hope everythink goes ok for you.


Dave.

 

[De8934]

thank you all. I will ttry to be brave and more assertive, I will be just fine.