Total panic mode please help

[Beckybo]

Hi everybody. A frantic google search brought me to this forum, so I’ve signed up and I’m posting just get everything off my chest and hopefully get some advice.
I’m 33 years old and my teeth are bad, and I’m petrified of the dentist. I know I need to go but I can’t. I’m going to end up loosing my teeth. I feel like I will actually have to loose teeth before I would step into the dentist! How twisted and stupid is that! I used to go to the dentist when I was younger for the odd filling etc, never really enjoyed it but still went...one time I went when I was 16, had a filling....felt woozy after standing....left the room and fainted at the top of the stairs and fell down. My dad caught me at the bottom, I had to sit down and the receptionist gave me some kind of glucose drink until I felt better then I left.
Me and the dentist were no more.
Hated the dentist, and anything to do with it, got lazy about dental hygiene and over the years my teeth got worse. I ignored it as it was mostly my back teeth, my front teeth have always been ok(ish) so you would never know really. Anyway, a few years ago I plucked up the courage to go as I chipped the bottom of my front tooth slightly, I freaked out, cried when I got in the room...I needed a couple of teeth out and fillings, first treatment went ok, still terrified but plodded on. The second treatment was awful, as soon as I had the numbing injection I felt that woozy feeling again! The dentist (man) sat me up until it passed, and proceeded to continue with my treatment, basically telling me to just man up and get it over with. I’m crying now writing this. I never went back, still needing treatment. Now a few years on, on one side of my mouth where he took teeth out, the remaining teeth have spread? Looking gappy! I still need a tooth out at the bottom and a couple new fillings! My bottom front teeth have some stuck plaque on the back of them, I can’t get it off and I’m scared it’s holding the tooth in my gum as they are quite wobbly. I really don’t know what to do (I do, I know I need to go to the dentist) I’m so SO EMBARRASSED I’m still quite young and have let my teeth get to such a state, I feel like they will think I’m dirty and lazy. I know if I could get there, after that first appointment I would be ok, but I just can’t do it. I took my children for there check up the other day and just wanted to cry at what a bad role model I am (they don’t know how I feel, but they will when all my teeth fall out) I have dreams about my teeth crumbling in my mouth, this fear takes over my life. I’ve wrote so much and it probably doesn’t even all make sense so sorry if it’s a bad read, I just needed to put down how I feel ?

 

[Animalhouse]

Hi everybody. A frantic google search brought me to this forum, so I’ve signed up and I’m posting just get everything off my chest and hopefully get some advice.
I’m 33 years old and my teeth are bad, and I’m petrified of the dentist. I know I need to go but I can’t. I’m going to end up loosing my teeth. I feel like I will actually have to loose teeth before I would step into the dentist! How twisted and stupid is that! I used to go to the dentist when I was younger for the odd filling etc, never really enjoyed it but still went...one time I went when I was 16, had a filling....felt woozy after standing....left the room and fainted at the top of the stairs and fell down. My dad caught me at the bottom, I had to sit down and the receptionist gave me some kind of glucose drink until I felt better then I left.
Me and the dentist were no more.
Hated the dentist, and anything to do with it, got lazy about dental hygiene and over the years my teeth got worse. I ignored it as it was mostly my back teeth, my front teeth have always been ok(ish) so you would never know really. Anyway, a few years ago I plucked up the courage to go as I chipped the bottom of my front tooth slightly, I freaked out, cried when I got in the room...I needed a couple of teeth out and fillings, first treatment went ok, still terrified but plodded on. The second treatment was awful, as soon as I had the numbing injection I felt that woozy feeling again! The dentist (man) sat me up until it passed, and proceeded to continue with my treatment, basically telling me to just man up and get it over with. I’m crying now writing this. I never went back, still needing treatment. Now a few years on, on one side of my mouth where he took teeth out, the remaining teeth have spread? Looking gappy! I still need a tooth out at the bottom and a couple new fillings! My bottom front teeth have some stuck plaque on the back of them, I can’t get it off and I’m scared it’s holding the tooth in my gum as they are quite wobbly. I really don’t know what to do (I do, I know I need to go to the dentist) I’m so SO EMBARRASSED I’m still quite young and have let my teeth get to such a state, I feel like they will think I’m dirty and lazy. I know if I could get there, after that first appointment I would be ok, but I just can’t do it. I took my children for there check up the other day and just wanted to cry at what a bad role model I am (they don’t know how I feel, but they will when all my teeth fall out) I have dreams about my teeth crumbling in my mouth, this fear takes over my life. I’ve wrote so much and it probably doesn’t even all make sense so sorry if it’s a bad read, I just needed to put down how I feel ?

Hi Beckybo and welcome to the forum. First of all, the last part of your post sounds a lot like what I have gone through for many years with the dreams and the fear taking over my life. There are so many phobic people out there and it keeps so many out of the dental chair for too long. For myself, I went once when I was 19 and didn't go again until a few months ago (I'm 30 now) due to a mean dentist that I encountered on my first visit. I finally had enough of feeling so ashamed of myself asked my husband to make an appointment for me after I first sent him for a cleaning as my Guinea pig. I have been at the dentist 9 times since March for various appointments, some where work was done, others for follow ups. I went in expecting that I would lose all of my teeth but I haven't. So far I've had a deep cleaning, many fillings, excess gum tissue removed, and a new crown. I look better and I know I'm healthier but I'm still experiencing post op pain. I'm not telling you this to scare you, just to give you the full story. It's an emotional roller coaster for sure but my dentist is very caring and gentle. No one has ever made me feel like I am gross even though I felt that way myself. Truthfully, so many people avoid the dentist until a real problem pops up so the dental staff have seen it all. Making that first appointment is so hard. I used to cry when people mentioned the dentist. I had a full blown panic attack when years ago my husband scheduled an appointment for me without my knowledge which I promptly cancelled (now I wish I hadn't). I still don't like going, but it is getting easier each time and I trust my dentist. I hope you feel better soon.

 

[Sevena]

I know exactly how you feel. Especially the dreams! I had so many nightmares.

As Animalhouse said, a good dentist makes a world of difference. You should never be told to "man up" over feeling faint, that's totally absurd and dismissive. Good dentists never say things like that.

You can start by searching online for dentists that have good reviews for being patient and gentle. Some dentists are specifically very good for anxious patients. Remember, the dentist ought to be impressing you, not the other way around. You're the customer and patient. If any dentist is rude, mean, or dismissive, you are 100% within your rights to leave.

But in order for a dentist to best help you, you need to tell them what you need. Tell them about your previous bad problems with feeling woozy - you can tell it to the receptionist even, and they can make a note of it. Then you can talk to the dentist, go over your fears, let them have a look and take an x-ray if you're feeling up to it (no drugs involved there!), and talk about treatment options. Gas or IV sedation may be useful. Or even just taking appointments very slowly, starting with the smallest and easiest treatments first and seeing if you can work your way up to longer treatments.

We feel powerless when we're in that dreaded chair, but we actually do still have the power to stop the appointment if we need to.

You're not alone. You can do this!

 

[Beckybo]

Thanks for responding. I had a dream last night about teeth, I had a restless sleep and I dreamt I had a brace (which I did when I was younger, a clip in one which I just wouldn’t wear) it’s like my dreams are full of regret and I just feel so disappointed in myself for not looking after my teeth. It’s such a simple thing to do.
I’m scared there’s nothing they can do for me and they will say I have to have all my teeth out. It’s funny (not actually funny) as one side of my mouth is ok(ish) where I started to have the work done, I had two of the broken to the gum teeth out on the bottom, and the remaining teeth have not spread, my gums are not receding as bad on this side either.....then my other side is a mess, where I had two top teeth out, the other teeth have kind of spread, leaving it looking all gappy! The gum has receded drastically on the lower (fang) tooth (sorry don’t know the proper name for it) there are still two lower back teeth with old fillings in which I’m sure are about to fall out and crumble!
My face is literally like Jekyll and Hyde.
Then I have the plaque on the back of my teeth, which disgusts me the most, I have tried to get it off but I’m scared it’s holding the teeth in place, they are quite wobbly and I’m sure they will say I have to have them all out ? why did i let myself get in this mess! The dentist that my mum goes to have a lady, that you can have a consultation with first, away from the dentist chair, which sounds good...I suppose.
I totally don’t like feeling like I’m not in control, the thought of being in that chair having them doing work in my mouth, judging me makes me feel teary eyed, which then again makes me feel pathetic and selfish. ?

 

[krlovesherkids777]

You are not pathetic or selfish in any way.. on the contrary, you are putting yourself out there trying to find someone who work with you in a compassionate way so you can feel better, more in control and safe.. and you deserve this type of dentist..

The right dentist who is gentle, patient and nonjudgemental is out there.. I can tell you I did find mine and he is the first to reassure me in everyway and is so nonjudgmenal and painfree and just amazing..

You don't have to go to a dentist that doesnt' treat you kindly or is painful or is judgemental ,, that is not something that is appropriate for anyone..

It takes everything for us dental phobics. to call and step through that door.. and alot of kind wonderful dentists are out there that understand us.. it is finding the right one!