appropriate restraint or not?

[Iheartmy2kids]

At my son's first appt at this pediatric dentist I was asked to wait in the waiting room because my daughter was with me. I was reluctant since I have never left him alone with even a doctor or any professional. They assured me they would come get me if they needed me. I was still reluctant but I had to go. Plus my son was in great spirits and he has always been an ANGEL at all previous dental check ups (at a different dentist but was now told to see a pediatric dentist for cavity treatment). My son has always been a great cooperative patient for all dental and doctor visits in the past.

Moments later I heard screaming coming from him! I ran out of the waiting room down the hall opened the door to find the dentist and 2 other assitants hovered over him. His face was a sight of terror! He had been crying for a while, his eyes swollen red, his face red and horrified! He cried they were hurting him and he wanted to go home. I noticed the assistant still holding both his hands to the center of his stomache, I took her hands off him and held my son.

The dentist told me she still needed to put a crown on him and asked me if she should continue??? I told her NO!!! We left.

We got home and I asked him why he was crying? He told me they were choking him and they were squeezing his hands so hard and pushing them to his stomache! I was shocked! Then he shows me by wrapping his hand around his own neck!!!

My son is only 5yrs old! He does not lie!!!

My husband and I had a meeting with this dentist the very next day. Of course she denied ever restraining him. What a lie since she would never been able to do the work (pulpotomy and filling) if they did not restrain him since he was resisting.

So my question is...what is and is not acceptable restrainment? If holding a child's neck ok? Is holding his hands against his stomache ok?

I DID NOT want to force treatment on my child! I feel it was totally uncalled for and the work would have been done better in my presence (we know this for a fact since he did allow work to be done after this only while I sat with him at a different dentist). If he was that stressed I wanted to be called in like they said they would! I understand it is dangerous for him to reach up for the drill etc. My position is...do not force it on my child. That is my choice not theirs!!!!

My son also told me when he asked for "mommy" they told him to be "QUIET!"

I am soooo upset and angry. I did not want my son traumatized this way. Now he is very fearful of the "bad dentist" who "choked" him. He is deathly afraid of the drill also.

 

[Franca]

This is totally unacceptable.

 

[Iheartmy2kids]

This is totally unacceptable. No child should have to be abused like that - and that's exactly what it is. It's because of incompetent dentists like this that phobias are born.

This day and age there is no reason in the world why a child - or adult for that matter - has to be traumatized like that. The dental staff should go out of their way to make everyone's experience as comfortable, and dare I say pleasant, as possible.

Unfortunately many dentists are more concerned about how many patients (money) they can cram into a day than on "customer service". And with small children, it's easier for these kinds of dentists to get away with... well... abuse. What else would you call it?

Can you report this dentist to the dental association or something? I would.

Yes, I have reported this dentist and I am waiting on a response.
I just think it was completely uncalled for when they should have and could have easily called me in to help calm him down. I would NEVER agree to have him restrained that way for dental work! There are other options and this is not one I would have chosen.

I just needed to hear from others that I am not over reacting and that this dentist actions are NOT acceptable.

I am sick over it. I can't talk about it without crying. I can't sleep without the thought of it all going thru my head. I feel like my heart is going to stop and I feel like I am going to die of a heart attack from this stress.

 

[April]

Your poor son, bless his heart

I can't even write what I am thinking because it would be deleted ....... I am SO, SO, SO, SO angry

My dentist would never let my parents in with me either, they always stayed in the waiting room whilst I was being 'forced' to have the treatment I needed - is there a pattern here?
I have since discovered there are alot of people who went to my dentist who now have a phobia, I wonder how many people and parents could tell a similar story about the dentist your son went to.

I don't think there is one person here who wouldn't take this 'all the way' - if you need any support you are in the right place.

Your son will be fine because you are a wonderful caring mother who believes, understands and supports him.

Good luck and please keep us updated .........

 

[Franca]

Iheartmy2kids, as someone with debilitating phobias

 

[Iheartmy2kids]

Thank you so much April & Franca. You are NOT going to believe this!!! I received a phone call from the 7th District Dental Society in response to my complaint. They told me as sorry as they are for hearing this bad experience and that my complaint was "very detailed" that he could not find anything that this dentist did wrong!!! OMG I can't believe they think this dentists methods were ok!???

The 7th DDS said they spoke to the dentist and she is very sorry. This dentist is very upset that I am so upset and that she has lost sleep over it! SHE lost sleep??? OMG! I am beside myself with rage!

So basically the 7th DDS thinks it is ok for a dentist to restrain by my son's describtion of "choking" his neck and squeezing his hands so hard and pushing them to his stomache? To tell him to "BE QUIET" and to not get his mommy when he cried and continually asked for mommy? That they told me they would come for me if they needed me and they did NOT!? They did not give him any anziety assistance because the laughing gas wasn't even effective since he was crying? THIS IS ALL OK TO DO TO A 5YR OLD BOY?????

Now what do I do? This is all just insane!!! So a dentist like this is just free to go about her business and do it to god knows how many others?

I did put in a complaint with the NY State Education Dept Office of Professions. I wonder what decision they will come back with?

 

[Franca]

The squeaky wheel gets the oil. Don't let it go. Don't accept their decision... keep bugging them. Threatening to get the media involved often spurs people into action. Other parents should know what they are exposing their children to if they go to this dentist, right? AND that the governing body considers abusing and traumatizing a child an appropriate and acceptable part of dental care.

 

[April]

I am from the UK so not sure about your procedures. What is the difference between the two organisations? Which is the 'higher' organisation?

I am with Franca on this one ... take it all the way.

I hope you hear something positive soon .......

 

[brit]

Unfortunately the USA seems to have much more authoritarian attitudes towards children's 'rights' in the dental chair than in other English-speaking countries.
You need to be clear what your charge against her is....was it not getting you when your son got upset (and thereby breaking her verbal agreement with you - there is no law in USA which denies you the right to be present as the parent (despite what they may say)but it common practice in USA for parents to be discouraged to be present; or was it the restraint (hard to prove)by the Assistant....
So sorry to hear of your bad experience...seems to be all too common on your side of the pond. If you were at one of the dental chain medicaid clinics, then do read the Dentist the Menace thread and realise how careful you have to be.

I would say, try never go out of earshot of your child in future during dental visits...even if you do decide to stay out of their sight so they can concentrate on just the dentist.
My other thought is, was the crown even necessary - a decayed baby tooth can be extracted much more quickly and involves the same local anaesthesia. You had the right to be present basically...and were denied it to the detriment of your child and it makes me really mad