Bad experience?

[QueenAmenRa]

My whole life (well as long as I can remember) I always went to the dentist every 6 months. When I was little I used to get really scared of doing the X-rays for some reason. Fortunately I've never had a cavity so never had to get a filling or anything. 9 years ago I had my wisdom teeth removed and because I have epilepsy, I couldn't be asleep- only could do local anesthetic so had to be awake the whole time. It was horrible but that's not my worst experience:
I had braces for 2 years and when they were taken off my orthodontist glued a permanent retainer to my bottom teeth. He told me in order to floss I had to stick a floss threader in between my teeth. I think I remember being able to do it on one tooth... At my next dental appointment, the dentist was flossing my teeth and it was INCREDIBLY painful...I was bleeding all over the place and the dentist yelled at me saying this was because I don't floss enough. 6 months later I was so scared to go back but fortunately the dentist was not there that day. I told the hygienist what had happened last time and that I was not able to floss there no matter how I tried. So she tried every possible way to get the floss threader in between my teeth and said there was no way that he could have done it- he had actually stuck the floss threader THROUGH MY GUMS! Well believe me I got that retainer removed shortly afterward.
The last time I went to the dentist was 1 & 1/2 years ago... it was not my family dentist- he had recommended someone up where I lived at the time. And maybe I'm wrong, but I thought they are supposed to use new tools each time? After the hygienist cleaned my teeth I watched her taking those same tools and washing them in the sink and drying them with a cloth towel... YUCK! And on top of that the dentist made my lower gums bleed and my teeth were so sore. He told me he wanted me to come back in 3 months...yeah right! My gums there have been red ever since no matter how I brush and floss and rinse. But I am so scared to go to a dentist cuz you never know if they're really sanitary and gentle until you go... and then it's too late

 

[NotAloneISee]

I can point to an event, but I also had a fear of dentists prior to that. The event confirmed my fears.

My fear has always been that I will gag and/or choke. I have never been afraid of needles or drills. In fact, the pain has never been an issue. But when those hands go in my mouth, there is already a level of anxiety.

What will they do next? When will I be gagged? What if...?

This fear was with me as a youngster. I had a lot of cavities filled, because I did not take care of my teeth. My first dentist had big hands, and when he put that needle in to numb my mouth, he jammed that puppy home with a vengeance. Score! Only HE probably felt good about it. And all I can remember about our conversations is one word, "Open."

Anyhow, when I was about 20, I had an impacted wisdom tooth taken out. And as I always feared, the "event" happened that added more fear to my dental experience. The dentist dropped a tool in my mouth. And in order to grab it, he had to reach back in my mouth. Yep, I gagged and gagged. To have fears confirmed was the ultimate worst.

So my fears were worse.

But I kept going. For some reason, I knew that I had better not quit. When my first dentist retired, another took over the practice. I liked him. He was laid back and made my experiences pretty god considering. He was not real gentle, but much better than my first one. In a year or two he moved. When the next dentist took over, I did not like him. What did not help is that my favorite hygienist did not either.

So instead of finding a new dentist, I quit. Big mistake. And that lasted for eight years. Those eight years were wasted in anxiety and fear. Suddenly all of my fears were magnified, and I just knew that if I went back, I would have a heart attack or something. I could not even go with my children to their dentist.

Finally, a year ago, I had had enough. My phobia ruled my every waking hour. Two broken teeth told me that if I did not resolve this issue, it would only get worse.

Now those fears are put to rest. Yes, I still think that I could gag. Yes, that fear of choking is there. But now I trust my dentist. I know that she will do everything in her power to make my experience a good one. And thus far, from cleanings to fillings to tooth extractions, she has done that.

I also know that if this dentist retires, then there are other ones out there who are good. In fact, I have another one researched as a possible replacement. This knowledge gives me a bit of relief and "power."

So that fear will never completely disappear. But I know that the best way to keep it minimized is to never quit going to the dentist.

While one event really exacerbated my fears, many, many good events can forever minimized what happened that day. Avoidance of that event only makes the phobia greater.

 

[punkchica321]

I know it's a silly fear, but I fear being criticized by dentists...Because when I was little I had a not so nice dentist(I'm being careful not to call him something very rude here), and he would get very angry at me if I didn't brush my teeth properly or didn't do it daily(what little kid really wants to brush their teeth ya know?), so ever since then I've been terrified of dentists because of that. Even though the dentist me and my sister go to now is very nice, I haven't been there since 2005 when I got my last filling(though I need some more now). I know it's not so bad once it's done and all, it's just leading up to it that's hard for me...

 

[tusker]

To a young child, who doesn't understand why they're forced to endure repeated, traumatic visits to the dentist, it probably feels like being the victim of an abusive adult - one who has the sanction of their parents to go ahead and hurt them. It's no wonder a lot of people carry dental anxiety/phobia into adulthood.
After all, if someone did what many dentists do to children, and didn't excuse it as being for their own good, they'd be locked up.

 

[scaredinthechi]

My parents took me to the dentist one time when I was 12. He gave me two fillings and said I had to come back to get two more. I never went back and my parents weren't bothered enough to make me. That one experience basically left me with two problems - first the agony of being drilled on with no pain relief left me terrified, and second the thought that all those years of neglect was going to come back and bite me on the ass (ie a LOT of fillings and probably a lot of extractions).

A piece of popcorn broke my tooth a couple of weeks ago and my husband's years of nagging about not going finally paid off and I went in, with the thought that my tooth would only get infected if I didn't go in. I was all prepared to get a bunch of fillings and some teeth pulled but she sent me away with a referral for a root canal, the one thing I didn't think I'd need!

Like others - I realised that it isn't really a fear of pain that I have to face up to. I've also given birth without drugs, and got through it. I've boiled it down to a few different things - fear of needles which I don't think I'll ever really get over despite being poked and prodded by all manner of medical students, fear of having stuff poked around my mouth (the pointy stick one is the one that gets me most), and my squeamishness at the noise of the machines. I have a way too over-active imagination and the visualisation of what those machines are doing just makes my toes curl like you wouldn't believe.

I got through my root canal, hopefully I'll be able to make it through the six million appointments I have lined up for my crown (for the root canal), five fillings and then of course a cleaning. I know that it will get easier in time. And I am already making sure my daughter is familiar with the dentist and comfortable with what is happening so that she doesn't have the same thing down the line.

 

[alexfeetham]

I don't Really have a phobia of the dentist just of needles going into me

This is me when i see needles.

 

[jkin]

I had a god aweful dentist as a kid, he didn't believe in cleanings, or check ups, I ended up back at his office three days after a 'check-up' screaming in pain because a bad tooth started to chip under the pressure of my way too tight brace. He 'glued' it back together with some filling, but it fell apart a couple of years later, surprise surprise.
Now, all during my childhood, I've been for fillings, braces, extractions, etc, never without excessive fear. Only when that tooth finally fell apart did my fear of dentists hit it's peak, I couldn't bear being pushed into treatment where I had no control over what was happening, and no say in where to stop if the pain was too much for me Then the problems got worse, so I finally went for a check up. The list of work that needed to be done was mind boggling to someone who was never faced with that before, and I ran from that office screaming, and never went back.
I found a dentist who will give me the bad news in small, easy to manage, bite sized portions, and will take my treatment one step at a time. Being faced with that much work in two days is too much for me even to comprehend, I'd prefer multiple short trips to the dentist, minimal invasion, minimal pain, and having the chance to get used to dentist visits without fear of being out of control, at least for too long. If I can sit in that chair and let my dentist do one filling, then I know I can handle one more in a few days, and my fear will slowly dwindle.
It took a long time for me to come to the conclusion that it's the amount of work that needs to be done, the cost o all that work, the amount of pain that entails, and to have a dentist who is willing to sit and manage my issues one tooth at a time is a huge help. It also helps that I get my treatment free on the NHS while I'm pregnant and for the first year of my baby's life, so all that's left to cope with is the fear of pain, and suddenly the mountain of dental problems have become a series of little molehills.
If you really, really think about what worries you the most, you'll discover the reason all by yourself. It might not be the loss of control, the pain, the fear of needles, etc, it might be something as simple as the whole 'where do I even begin' question that plagued me for so long and prevented me from getting the treatment I needed.

 

[Snowball]

You know at the time I posted in this thread I must have forgot another bad experience. Bear in mind my fear is of being hurt - of feeling the treatment - but the thing that happened had nothing to do with pain...

In our village, the dentist's wife happened to be his anaesthetist. And I was a child with a heart murmur/hole in the heaert which meant even for an exam I was meant to have an anitbiotic injection beforehand.

I had to have a shedload of impressions for braces which I never got (as my mum died not long after this)... but anyway... the dentist (who to make things worse was the dad of my best friend at school) was talking about some overcrowded teeth I'd need out so they could proceed with the orthodontics. And they were talking about doing the extractions at his surgery in our village. Wifey was there with him and they were discussing me as if I wasn't there, when I was in the chair, over my head (I was about 9 or 10) and she started getting hysterical - I mean HYSTERICAL about the prospect of operating on a child with a holey heart. Now bear in mind my parents had made the decision not to tell me I had a hole in the heart. So I had no diea what they were rowing about - but it terrified me.

In the end they sent me to Leeds dental hospital (itself a terrifying place where they just held you down and forced a gas mask over your face), but that hysteria in the 'anaesthetist', and the ranting about something I didn't udnerstand - scared the bejaybus out of me.

When I look back I am livid because that woman (my best mate's mum!) not only gave me a lasting terror - I picked up her terror - but also could have blown my parents' carefully crafted pretence I had no heart defect. It was their decision not to tell me (as other kids with it were in wheelchairs and my parents decided to give me a normal life). And that man and woman broke their confidence.

They left the village a couple of years on to practice in Diss in Norfolk. I'm sure they are long retired but if you're a Norfolk phobic - I may know who treated you!

 

[Kajikit]

I was always afraid of going to the dentist because of fear of the unknown... what if there was something Really Bad wrong with my mouth? But I wasn't too scared to go until I had a hideous and unexpected dental experience. The dentist pulled out my first wisdom tooth and it went just fine so I wasn't afraid of extractions... and then six months later he said the others had to come out too - and it didn't go nearly so well. It took longer than he thought it would and the anaesthetic was wearing off and I was starting to freak out and I said 'stop stop, leave the other one I'll come back later' and he said 'no, I'm nearly finished, hold still, it'll just take a minute more' - and he made me finish it!
I still didn't really expect any major problems after that but when I went back to him for my next checkup I freaked out and I wasn't able to let him do even a very small non-traumatic filling. I couldn't stand being in that room any more... and it generalised to terror of ALL dentists and a terror of having people working in my mouth.

 

[mcrandi]

i have a lot of bad experience
i was hit by a hockey ball and I lost a piece of my teeth at 12

 

[Starlight25]

hi like many people i had a horrible dentist as a child im 25 now and terrified of dentists thanks to him. He still practices in my local area he's old and got no patience with kids so much so when i had a big filling at the age of 12 he gave me an injection and when i told him it was hurting during the filling he said don't be so stupid and carried on so now my fear is being in pain and not being able to stop the person doing the treatment even thou i think ive found a nice dentist my 2nd terro althou this is actualy what i fear most is teeth out ( sorry can't use e word) i have got to have 6 to 8 out and am terrified going to have either iv or ga ive never had one out before but im scared because i remember being at school and my friend came back to school from the dentist sobbing and spitting blood out she'd had 2 teeth out my sister also had 4 teeth out and she came out crying so its a big no thankyou from me although now looks like i dont have a choice !
best of luck
emma

 

[Nanda]

I had a bad experience when I was about 4. I don't remember that much of it, but according to my mother I had a bad cold and the dentist didn't allow me to cough. I just remember a feeling of choking, crying and the dentist yelling at me. Apparently my mother had just pulled me out of the chair at that point and taken me home.

 

[Saturn]

Strangely enough, my bad experience came later in life. My dentist I had in childhood was wonderful, as was his nurse, and although there was occasionally some pain with the treatment, it was always bearable and never scared me.

During my uni years, I carried on seeing that dentist during my holidays.

The real problem is that I have extremely weak teeth. I have diabetes, which dentists reckon could be a factor in this, plus it has only just been diagnosed that I have very thin enamel. Upshot of all this is that I need fillings every six months or so. But as I said, I was really comfortable & confident with the dentist I was seeing so was fine having the work done.

After uni I was lazy about seeing the dentist then I moved 200 miles away and didn't register with a new one, until 6 months later when I got an abcess and it hurt like crazy. I went straight to the dentist up the road and they could fit me in that day. Now I feel silly saying this but what happened while I was in the chair is what made me avoid dentists after that.

Not only did I have the abcess but also quite a few decayed areas. It was a very hot day so I was wearing shorts and a vest top and my top had ridden up while I was in the chair. The dentist looked at my mouth and said in a disgusted tone of voice that "your dental health is awful" then he poked my stomach and said in the same tone "no surprise, I can see you like to treat yourself". For the record I am 5ft4 and 10 stone, a bit chubby round the middle but I always am even when the rest of me is skinny, and as I have diabetes my diet is quite good!

I needed to get that particular tooth pulled to get rid of the abcess but once that was done I never went back and avoided dentists for the next 2 years, during that time my mouth got worse but I didn't dare go and be judged like that again. Sounds so stupid now, but I couldn't face it. Until I got an impacted wisdom and couldn't avoid dentists any longer.

I went to different one and again he judged me. Accusing me of not cleaning, not flossing and eating junk. I brush twice daily and floss once daily without fail. So again I didn't go back to have the rest of my treatment plan done.

Then a few months on, my front tooth was decaying from the side. It had been for a long time, but the decay started advancing rapidly and I was losing a lot of the tooth, and I decided I was more scared of tooth loss than I was of dental treatment. By that time I was eligible for free NHS treatments so I called around to find a local dentist accepting NHS patients - and I struck gold on first try.

I still see that dentist now - she is excellent. She is actually the one who diagnosed me with thin enamel, and she gets me in regularly for scale & polish and a coat of flouride enamel, which *touch wood* seems to be helping with my dental problems. She didn't just judge & assume, she actually worked out what my problem was and is trying to fix it.

My mouth was awful, I was seeing her fortnightly for treatment at the start of the plan. I needed goodness knows how many root canals, regular fillings and two caps. That was finished this January, and apart from the wisdom tooth I've just had out, have had no trouble since. I don't know what I'll do if she leaves the profession!

 

[Razzle3]

I've only had one truly bad dental experience (and one eye-rolling one) and that was during my second year of college when I needed to have my wisdom teeth out. Apparently my brain wisdom was lacking because I literally chose the oral surgeon out of the ywllow pages of the small town I was attending school in. After only meeting the doctor once, I agreed to have him do the extractions the following week. I had my qualms about his abrupt manner and lack of personablilty, I was young, in pain, and figured best to get it over with. Thanks to this dentist, that experience was not a good one for me, though the actual process (extraction) ended up being very simple. Long story. :/

The "eye-rolling one" came at a time when I had just graduated from college, moved back home to the big city, and my Dad suggested I give his dentist a try. I had always liked the one I had been seeing well enough but figured perhaps a different hygienist might be a bit gentler so I agreed. This "dentist" after barely greeting me, lit right into announcing to his assistant all the things he WOULD do so that I could truly have a model's smile and go into modeling! It was like he was taking over "me" my choices. No, lol, I had never mentioned to him or anyone else at his office any modeling dreams (I never have had any though as a teen was told I oguht to consider it). Here's this dentist, who I had known for 30 seconds? smugly dictating his plan! Luckily, I had grown older and a little wiser by this time and that was the last I ever saw of him! In retropsect, it is humorous but at the time, I was .

Honestly, I was never "afraid" of the dentist. I have had a few frightening and traumatic experiences with medical doctors, however. I'm also a needle-phobe and like some others on here did have an abusive childhood, all of which did contribute to my lack of confidence at times when talking to a dentist perhaps or as in the case of the oral surgeon, bolting quick and never to return, but I was lucky to have not at a young age sufferred at the hands of a dentist.

For every dentist or even doctor out there, (one day I'll try to find one of those) there are zillions more wonderfully compassionate ones. I have one such dentist now. Although I still am distrustful of his "needle" I am not of him and that makes a huge difference.

 

[Bellatrix]

When I was 5, I had a cavity, and I was scared to open my mouth for the dentist.

He told me to open my mouth, and when I said no, he jabbed that (what I now know) is the explorer in my hand.

I then opened my mouth really fast.

I was scared.

 

[brit]

When I was 5, I had a cavity, and I was scared to open my mouth for the dentist.

He told me to open my mouth, and when I said no, he jabbed that (what I now know) is the explorer in my hand.

I then opened my mouth really fast.

I was scared.

ooh not heard that one before...holding your nose or yelling is more usual (as far as bad practices go from the past)...you poor thing...that was totally abusive

 

[Donnie86]

I was really scared of the dentist but prob not quite phobic when i went after 2 years of bad toothache. He was inpatient, didnt give me enough LA and i could feel everything. He pulled small pink string like things (nerves?) out, telling me that would stop the pain despite that it was this causing it. Then rolling his eyes said "we'll be in touch about your next appointment. . . but im very busy" and that was the last i saw or heard from him thank god!

Now im def phobic!

 

[Gwyneth]

This is my first evening on the forum. Like many older contributors I had a terrible dentist as a child. My sister and I would go alone to the dentist she being the eldest had responsibility for me. I would sit in the room watching her treatment and then have to have mine. Nothing I ever did as far as the dentist was concerned was right, from not being quick enough getting to the chair to not using enough "elbow grease" on my teeth. I din't even know what elbow grease was. Any treatment given especially fillings was done without a local anaesthetic.
I've just had surgery on a shoulder which I have managed like a sensible adult, everything from anaesthetic to pysiotherapy has had a degree of pain involved but the end result is worth it. I am now going to try using this phillosophy to get me to my appointment on Monday. As long as the dentist does'nt say my teeth are terrible and that it's all my fault I may manage the treatment. I'll keep you informed.

 

[drummerswife]

Hi Gwyneth,
I guess I could be one of the oler contributors you speak of. I so identiy with your feelings. I had some really traumatic experiences as a child which left with a deep sense of terror that haunted me for most of my life until just this past year when I finally got the courage to stop hiding from the dentist. I have written extensively about my dental journey here as have others. The key for me was finding the right dentist who truly understood my terror.
Your fear of being criticized for your teeth is understandable. However, a truly caring dentist will not make such judgments. Rather, they will be understanding and work with you to devise a plan to meet your needs.
Blessings to you

 

[brit]

I've just had surgery on a shoulder which I have managed like a sensible adult, everything from anaesthetic to pysiotherapy has had a degree of pain involved

To add to what Drummerswife said..modern dentistry doesn't have to hurt at all with the right dentist with the right techniques.