Bad news, please help... :'(

[Bubble1077]

Hello all,

I was brave and booked a dental appointment after not going for 4 years. I had prepared myself (or so I thought) for the worst.

In short, between 18 and 32 I didn't go to a dentist, I finally went and was told my gums weren't in great shape but all I needed was a filling and a good debridement. I got good at going for 2 years but on the day of my last appointment with them I got a call to say my dad was dying. Needless to say I didn't go to the appointment. My dad died that day and I didn't rebook. The dentist then retired shortly afterwards but I didn't find another as the fear then really started to kick in again.

So, here I am four years later. I attended the appointment today and it was terrible news. I had multiple x-rays (I had none with my last dentist...why he didn't I'll never know!) and she's referring me to a specialist as my bone loss is so bad. She was speaking in terms of finding out which teeth are salvageable! ?

She said I definitely need one of my teeth next to my upper front tooth taking out and likely all four at the lower front. This will mean partial dentures upper and lower. I'm 38. I'm so shocked, upset and depressed. I feel like a failure and am so frightened that I'll never look normal again. Due to bone loss I may not even be able to have implants further down the line and all I seem to read about partials are horror stories.

I'm upset and ashamed and embarrassed. Any words of hope or wisdom would be so appreciated. X

 

[carole]

Hi don't beat yourself up about this. I am sorry that your father died as you were trying to deal with your teeth.

The dentist that you were seeing then should have taken x rays, he didn't and the problem has got to the stage it is at now. You are getting help now and that is all that matters. You cannot change the past you can only work with now

This is fixable so don't worry, it might mean that you need a denture but plenty of people have them and you don't even know. They are very good these days. Your dentist that you are seeing now has done the right thing and it might not be as bad as you think it is going to be.

Not everyone can have implants and if you look on the internet there are scary stories but on here there are also some very good success stories.

We have our ups and downs with the oral work we need but it usually works out in the end.

Wait until you have seen the specialist and then you know what you are dealing with. Once you know it makes it easier to deal with. I understand how bad you are feeling and I along with others on here will be here to offer you support along the way.

Don't get too stressed

 

[Bubble1077]

Thank you Carole, I appreciate your words of support. I've been freaking out all day and am so wound up...it's no good for my blood pressure!

It's not possible to turn back time but I find this evening that I'm filled with regret about my teeth. I used to have good teeth after having braces as a kid, so I think part of the feeling is also guilt. My dad had partials when he was in his 30s too so I guess it's a bit about taking after him.

I'll be back updating on this as I'll likely have numerous freak outs in the coming months. X

 

[Stupiddentalfear]

Hi Bubble,

Your post sounds like mine and many others in terms of regret, extreme heartfelt sadness, depression
and anxiety. It is our phobia that kept us at bay. It wasn't a terrible act of self destruction. It's just excruciatingly painful in terms of the emotional effect it has on us when we're faced with the loss of our teeth. Trouble is that as we well know we can't change the past. (And perhaps even if we did it would still have been 'written in the stars').

The regret/self-blame is a vicious cycle. I am finding that in order to escape/break it that I need to be self-compassionate. Please find it in yourself to forgive and let go of the past. We can get through this and hopefully our journeys will make us better and stronger people.

Be free to vent and let it all go.

Our forum community are here for you and with you.

Best wishes

 

[sheilablackston]

Hello all,

I was brave and booked a dental appointment after not going for 4 years. I had prepared myself (or so I thought) for the worst.

In short, between 18 and 32 I didn't go to a dentist, I finally went and was told my gums weren't in great shape but all I needed was a filling and a good debridement. I got good at going for 2 years but on the day of my last appointment with them I got a call to say my dad was dying. Needless to say I didn't go to the appointment. My dad died that day and I didn't rebook. The dentist then retired shortly afterwards but I didn't find another as the fear then really started to kick in again.

So, here I am four years later. I attended the appointment today and it was terrible news. I had multiple x-rays (I had none with my last dentist...why he didn't I'll never know!) and she's referring me to a specialist as my bone loss is so bad. She was speaking in terms of finding out which teeth are salvageable! ?

She said I definitely need one of my teeth next to my upper front tooth taking out and likely all four at the lower front. This will mean partial dentures upper and lower. I'm 38. I'm so shocked, upset and depressed. I feel like a failure and am so frightened that I'll never look normal again. Due to bone loss I may not even be able to have implants further down the line and all I seem to read about partials are horror stories.

I'm upset and ashamed and embarrassed. Any words of hope or wisdom would be so appreciated. X

my mom wears partials she does fine

 

[[email protected]]

I recommend fixed denture mounted on implants. It will cost as much as a car, but trust me, it will be worth it in the long run.

 

[gamergirl123]

It's not possible to turn back time but I find this evening that I'm filled with regret about my teeth

I am really feeling sorry for you. Regret filled evenings are really not fun and for some, its not just a one time thing. Sometimes these dental issues are a bit of a marathon.

all I seem to read about partials are horror stories.

Basically with partials, it seems like its a major hit or miss depending on so many variables.