Dealing with the 'lecture'

[donald_s]

Haven't been to a dentist in 10 years. Last time I went, I got the lecture from the dentist and the hygienist. Even when told the hygienist I didn't need to hear it, she spent 45 minutes lecturing me without lecturing me. She told me, "My father doesn't go to the dentist often either, but he takes very good care of his teeth", of course pointing out without saying the words that I don't. And similar comments. Makes me furious. And clearly it really bothers me because I haven't been back for 10 years.

But I need to go to the dentist now. So how do I deal with it? Do I explain to everyone I deal with, dentist, hygienist, etc. that I don't need the lecture? Send an email in advance to make it clear I need treatment, not 'Dad' putting me in my place?

Suggestions appreciated.

Thanks!

 

[letsconnect]

So sorry other about the shaming behaviour you have experienced in the past. Unfortunately, there still appear to be some dentists and hygienists around who believe that such comments might "motivate" people to adopt healthy habits, when all it does is drive people away! (as you've experienced yourself).

The key is to make sure that the dentist and dental hygienist you choose won't be the type who is into "lectures" or snarky comments. Most dentists and hygienists just want to help, and while outright lectures or snarky remarks have become increasingly rare, many will try and get their patients to adopt healthier oral habits, which can easily come across as criticism, even when it's not intended as such. So yes, if you want to be on the safe side, it would absolutely be best to let them know beforehand how such comments make you feel and that you don't need reminding.

We've got some helpful tips here for how to find a dentist/hygienist who won't lecture you here:

How to find a dentist for nervous patients

Discover how to find a dentist who is good with nervous, scared or phobic patients - and who to avoid!

www.dentalfearcentral.org

There's also a handy patient form which you can include in any email correspondence with potential dentists here:

https://www.dentalfearcentral.org/media/patient-form.pdf

Fingers crossed you'll be able to find a caring, non-shaming dental practice soon

 

[krlovesherkids777]

donald_s I too am so sorry you have had dentist/hygienist that were shaming and lecturing. You do not need that. You plucked up the courage to go and they shouldn't be doing that. There are Alot of dentists out there and hygienest that will treat you kindly. I know for me yes, I tell them ahead of time, I am looking for somewhere non shaming, I'm anxious and I need to know I will not be shamed or lectured. You will know pretty much how they treat you at that point what their philosophy is..

 

[donald_s]

Thank you for the feedback, I appreciate it.