Dental abscess with health anxiety and emetophobia

[paris]

About six days ago I started noticing my gum was inflamed near a cavity I've had untreated for a long time. A day and a half ago what looks like a small abscess appeared, it drains on its own when I touch it, but there's no facial swelling, no fever, and no pain at all so far. I know I need to get it treated and I'm still trying to book an appointment, but the anxiety around all of this has been completely overwhelming.

During the day I spend a lot of time googling symptoms, asking the same questions over and over, checking "what if this gets worse" or "what does this feeling mean." By nighttime, after hours of worrying, I end up very on edge and close to a full panic attack. I know rationally that things are probably okay, but in the moment the fear takes over completely.

What scares me most is not being treated in time, waking up in the middle of the night with bad symptoms and having to go to emergency already feeling awful and panicking on top of that. The idea of the infection getting serious terrifies me.

And then there's the procedure itself. I have emetophobia, and my biggest fear is losing control and vomiting in the chair. Just thinking about it triggers chest tightness, stomach sensations, dread. More than the pain, it's that fear of losing control that feels like the biggest barrier. I looked into nitrous oxide sedation but it turned out to be unaffordable for me.

I'm also really scared of choosing the wrong dentist, someone who won't take my anxiety seriously, or who will rush through things and make the whole experience much worse.

I'd really love to hear from anyone who has been through something similar, especially people with emetophobia or health anxiety who have managed to get through dental work. any advice or just knowing im not alone would mean a lot, thank you

(also, sorry if this sounds a bit AI generated, i used one to help me translate because expressing all of this in english is really hard for me)

 

[letsconnect]

Hi @paris, sorry I can't help with a personal experience of emetophobia, but it's more common than one might think! Maybe you could see if there's a dedicated emetophobia forum/message board/subreddit where you can ask? Other people there might have some tips. I also wonder if there's any way you could get psychological support in person (or online) with this - it could prove really helpful (not just for dental visits but more generally).

With regards to being scared of choosing the wrong dentist - have you had a look around our website? There are lots of tips for finding the right dentist here:

How to find a dentist for nervous patients

Discover how to find a dentist who is good with nervous, scared or phobic patients - and who to avoid!

www.dentalfearcentral.org

How to find a high-quality dentist

How do you know if a dentist really cares about the quality of their work? Here is what to look for and expect from a high-quality dentist.

www.dentalfearcentral.org

We also have a very handy questionnaire which you can attach to your email to potential dentists, but unfortunately it's in English only so I'm not sure if it's of any use:

https://www.dentalfearcentral.org/media/patient-form.pdf

Even if you cannot use the form, you could use it for ideas when writing an email of which concerns and requests to include.

Wishing you lots of luck with finding a supportive and kind dentist quickly