extream fear and 20 years without a dentist

[amathyst mumma]

I sit hear writing this to you with tears streaming just at the thought of being in that chair.
23 years ago was the first and last lot of dentistry i had done, as i came from a rural/ remote area we had a mobile dentist, long story short i needed 6 fillings and the last 2 they held me down drilled and filled with hot lead without numbing with a quote i remember to this day " that will teach you for not brushing your teeth I was 10 years old I am now 33 and to say my teeth are in a terrible state is an under statement and chronic pain and dental infection is a daily way of life for me. All of my teeth need removing as they are broken and split within the gum and with 1 front tooth broken off at the gumline and the other almost broken in half its time i go and get this sorted as my white blood count is low. All i ned to do is make that call that one call to arrange an appointment but i cannot force myself to do it, my partner takes my children in for their dental check ups as i cannot make myself go neer a dental practice withot shaking, crying and over the top anxiety setting in. I was in so much pain once i forced myself to go to a dental hospital where i waited 6 hours to be seen just to tell them if they touched me i was to kick them and then promptly left without a dentist even looking inside my mouth. I know i need this work done for health reasons but i just cannot force myself to call let alone go threw with an appointment, I need help, how do I do this?

 

[Weadopted]

I am so sorry to hear about your fears, though everyone on here totally understands. I know how it feels to live with dental pain, infections, ect... As I write this, I am trying to build up the courage to phone a dentist to have my teeth looked at because I've had horrible pain in one tooth along with jaw pain. I am so afraid the dentist is going to find something seriously wrong and that he/she will pass judgment on me and my teeth.
Most people don't understand just how serious dental phobia is----lucky are the ones who can walk into an office with no fear at all.
I wish I had some words of encouragement for you, but I am the last person to give advice when it comes to dental phobia! The best I can offer is to say you are not alone and that I am hoping you find the courage.

 

[Loves]

I am so sorry about your horrible experience. It is true that everyone here does understand.. You already made a great step by coming on here and talking about it. I'm sorry I can not give you advice. But this is a great place for support .

Best wishes

Loves

 

[Spike 1969]

Hello there and


Sorry to hear about your awful experience, it's hardly surprising that you have this issue, what you went through amounts to physical assault and abuse It sounds like you are suffering post traumatic stress as a result.

You have come to the right place here, most of the folks understand this all too well.

there is a particular part of the dental fear website that deals with people who have been victims of abuse and Im. Pretty sure that there are dentists out there who specialise in treating people who have suffered this sort of thing. Perhaps one of the other members could post a link to it.

one good thing is that dentists and dentistry have come a long way in the last 23 years and we now have mostly caring, compassionate, professional dentists who just want to help us and make sure we do not suffer daily tooth pain and who try to help us with our fears.

For me, the first step is finding a dentist I really trust and get on with and then work up slowly building a relationship/partnership with them to make treatment ok and not fearful. To think not that long ago Just walking past a dentists office would bring me out in a cold sweat and now I go regularly for treatment without a problem (I've even opted to go for cosmetic stuff of my own free will, what's wrong with me ).

hope you can find a way to get to where you need to with your dentistry journey.

kind Regards

 

[Colin65]

Your story sounds just like mine from back in the 80s when I had a horrible dentist who said some personal and damaging things to me.

We do understand how you must feel, but I think you really have to bite the bullet (pardon the pun) and see a dentist.

As I've written in other posts dentistry has moved on so much in the last 5-10 years so you can rest assured things won't be as bad as you think.

I to had a front tooth break off at the gum line so it was time to get it sorted. The remainder of that tooth was taken out just a few weeks ago and took about a minute with minimal sensation, there was no pulling just a gentle pushing and a twist, I was shaking like a leaf all the same, but no need at all.

I'd put off going to a dentist for years and all it did was stop me enjoying life, if I can do it so can you, just do it step by step, firstly make that call or email preferably to a dentist who deals with anxious pts.
All they'll do is check what needs doing on the 1st appt, you'll probably be given some antibiotics for a week or so, then start by having just one thing done at a time like I did. You should soon build up you confidence with your dentist. You'll feel so much better when you've got the 1st appt over with.
Don't feel you'll be judged, if you are then he/she isn't the one for you. The dentist is there to help you, it's embarrassing I know, I didn't want to open my mouth when I 1st went but you soon get over it.

Good luck.

 

[Mugz]

Hi and Welcome!
So very sorry you were treated so terribly and feel bad now. You have come to the right place and in reaching out here have made the first step! That's huge! We all understand your fears. Many of us have also suffered physical and verbal abuse at the hands of dentists as children and young adults, myself included. It is awful.

Here's a thought. Can you go to a regular doctor/medical clinic to be treated for your symptoms? I understand the cause may be coming from your teeth/mouth however if it is systemic ANY DOCTOR can help you get started treating the infection, it doesn't have to initially be a dentist, does it? Who orders the blood work? I would think the one who orders the blood work and diagnosis the low white count could also prescribe antibiotics to get you on the road to recovery while you take the necessary steps to see a dentist. Perhaps they can even make that call for you? I'd think it would be negligent for them to recognize you are sick and not treat you, regardless of the origin of the infection. Perhaps that would be an easier way to seek help?

We all know how unbelievably hard it is to make the call and schedule that first (and second and third...) appointment. Unfortunately, most of us have had to make the call because we were in misery too so we really understand. I've seen the dentist in 1994 and again in 2005 only because of pain....then the nightmare began last month for the third time in 20 years. It is miserable...but there is help. Spike has great advice about resuming dental visits after a long absence. Apparently it is MUCH better than when we were abused decades ago. If you need some encouragement, please read Spike's and Martha55 's comments to me under the Lions, Tigers and Dentist posts... they offered several posts I found very, very comforting and perhaps you will too.