Hi there
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dentists vary in their approaches to dental treatment, with some taking a more "aggressive" approach than others. Some dentists overtreat, some undertreat, but most find a happy medium. If you're worried about overtreatment (which, according to some dentists, is more common in the some parts of the US), the best idea would be to ask around acquaintances, friends or family members for dentist recommendations. That way, you've got a good chance of finding someone who adopts a preventative, minimal intervention approach.
Once you have found a suitable dentist, make sure you discuss any treatment recommendations. He or she should be able to explain to you what should be done, why it should be done, and what the different alternatives are. Remember that no dentist can carry out any treatment unless you agree to it. You can only make a good treatment decision for yourself if you're informed about the various options and their pros and cons, so make sure your dentist shows to you and explains to you what should (or shouldn't) be done and why.
Ultimately, you're in charge of what happens, though a dentist has the right not to have you as a patient if you decide not to have necessary treatment and if your decisions put your health in jeopardy. This is unlikely to happen though if they can show you (e. g. with the help of x-rays, a camera or a mirror) what's going on. A good question to ask your dentist is: "If it was you who had this problem, what would you choose to do yourself?".
Most dentists will be happy to discuss these things and let you take an active part in your health decisions, if they're not, find somone who is.