Feeling really emotional

[Roxy2015]

So sorry that you’ve been upset again today! Just wanted to add some advise about time off from work... maybe you could try andcget a Drs note for two weeks off? It doesn’t have to say what it’s for! U could say you are having some minor surgery (they aren’t supposed to ask) x

Thank you and yes that’s exactly what I will do, my sickness record at work is ok, so I can’t see it being a problem really. The thing is that every other week I’m on the phones which maybe a problem. Even though I won’t tell everyone at work what’s happening. I will have to tell my manager. I have already tried but it’s just not been easy. I will write her an email tomorrow. Thank you xx

 

[Roxy2015]

In terms of work, I had impressions done for my mouth-guard, and again for crowns - they really didn’t take long, I think each appointment was 20 minutes. Could you book holidays for the extractions and adjusting to the dentures? In terms of feeling awkward, would an email be easier, just saying you have some dental issues and need time off to take care of them, but nothing more specific?

im afraid I have no more holiday left this year at all. The last of my holiday is booked for November as I’m going to Berlin with my mum, so it’s going to have be time off ie sickleave .. I’ve been at my job for 28 years so I guess they owe me some sick leave ..i just hope my manager will be understanding xx

 

[Roxy2015]

Hi Roxy, glad to hear you have found an nhs dentist. It’s natural to feel upset. No matter how much you are expecting something the reality is a shock. I think getting a doctors certificate is a good idea if you don’t have enough holiday left. It’s worth a try. Maybe you could go and have an initial chat with your doctor and see what they say? I took 2 weeks leave. I had already booked the time off to go to Greece but once I had made the decision to get my teeth sorted I just wanted to carry on and get it sorted as soon as possible. I just told everyone at work I wasn’t going on holiday but was having major dental work that was making me anxious and I didn’t want to talk about it. I know that’s not very brave but it worked for me. When I went back to work no one asked anything more than if it all went well. I just want to reassure you how good things have been since then. I had my bottom denture reclined yesterday and the fit is perfect. I love talking to people and being able to look at them. I am meeting with some friends from my home town soon that I haven’t seen for 20 years and I can’t wait. This is the hardest bit, waiting always is. Don’t worry about other people, focus on yourself. Hold onto the fact that in just a few short weeks everything will be so much better and all this will be behind you. Cry when you feel like it because it won’t be long till you are smiling a lot!! Take care, jules

thank you so much Jules, you are a star and you’ve made me feel better again. I know I will get stronger again, but I probably just need a good night sleep. My manager will have to know what’s happening, but I will try to get away with major dental work for the others. Thank you so much Jules ?

 

[saralou35]

Yes it’s so much easier telling them by email! I had to tell my Male boss I was having fertility treatments years ago and couldn’t bring myself to do it so emailed him to explain x

 

[Julesd]

No worries Roxy. Good luck telling your manager. I bet they will be really fine about it. You will feel so much better once you have done it. By the time you go back to work you will have had some time to adjust and should be talking and eating fine and feeling much more confident. On day one of me being back at work I felt a bit self conscious but it soon passed. Honestly after a couple of days I forgot and I think everyone else did as well. Just look forward to Berlin!

 

[Roxy2015]

Thanks so much everyone, you are all amazing ?

 

[Enarete]

I will have to tell my manager. I have already tried but it’s just not been easy. I will write her an email tomorrow.

Beating dental fear is a very intimate issue and so is getting dentures. There is a lot of shame, regret and vulnerability to process and that's just not the best place to be. I might be wrong but it sounds like this are the feelings that make you feel so uncomfortable when it comes to talking to your manager.
As Julesd suggests, your manager won't judge you. He/she will probably just accept the situation and try to find a way to help you to get your days off. Life is busy for anyone and one of the manager's jobs is to be there for employees who have all kinds of issues, be it personal, health or mental issues. I am sure you won't be the first one who has something personal to share and your manager will certainly know how to deal professionally with it. I am also sure that your manager had to face health issues herself/himself in the past and knows that communicating with a boss regarding this is not easy. If you don't feel comfortable to name the exact issues, just make it as general as possible and chose a way of contact that is comfortable for you as saralou suggests.

Also, no matter how hard things feel like, please just keep in mind what a big progress you have already made. It's ok that there is something new to solve with every step, the most important thing is still that you are moving on.

Keeping my fingers crossed for you and look forward to your further progress

 

[Roxy2015]

Beating dental fear is a very intimate issue and so is getting dentures. There is a lot of shame, regret and vulnerability to process and that's just not the best place to be. I might be wrong but it sounds like this are the feelings that make you feel so uncomfortable when it comes to talking to your manager.
As Julesd suggests, your manager won't judge you. He/she will probably just accept the situation and try to find a way to help you to get your days off. Life is busy for anyone and one of the manager's jobs is to be there for employees who have all kinds of issues, be it personal, health or mental issues. I am sure you won't be the first one who has something personal to share and your manager will certainly know how to deal professionally with it. I am also sure that your manager had to face health issues herself/himself in the past and knows that communicating with a boss regarding this is not easy. If you don't feel comfortable to name the exact issues, just make it as general as possible and chose a way of contact that is comfortable for you as saralou suggests.

Also, no matter how hard things feel like, please just keep in mind what a big progress you have already made. It's ok that there is something new to solve with every step, the most important thing is still that you are moving on.

Keeping my fingers crossed for you and look forward to your further progress

Thank you so much, youve really hit the nail on the head, that’s exactly how I’m feeling. I do feel better today after a good night sleep, but you’ve described me exactly.

i guess I am so aware that my teeth are not good, I feel people judge me by the way my teeth are. So once I have dentures I think they everyone will know they are false because one minute they were terrible and suddenly they will be perfect. I guess I feel people may snigger and say oh look she’s got false teeth now. But deep in my heart, I know my friends will be proud of me and not be sniggering..

 

[Julesd]

I just wanted to say what a lovely thoughtful post enarette.

 

[Roxy2015]

I just wanted to say, I emailed my boss yesterday and told her the whole story, and... she was absolutely wonderful. She told me not to worry and that she’d sort out the the time off with the business. What a relief fo tell someone at work, I guess that was one of the most worrying things for me. She’s off sick as it happens, so when she’s back at work next week we will have a chat.

 

[LondynBridge]

This is so encouraging to hear Roxy! Every journey begins with a first step. And when you look back, you are going to be so proud of yourself overcoming this part of your life! I think your worries about your manager and getting the time off can be a helpful reminder that we should have some faith in humanity, that there are still those that are compassionate and understanding out there. Just hoping to continue spreading the word that we all need to treat each other as another fellow human trying to make it through life.

You've got this! Hope you can get some sleep in the coming weeks

 

[Julesd]

That’s brilliant news Roxy! One step closer a a big hurdle crossed. Well done you.

 

[Roxy2015]

Thanks again everyone, I haven’t really had a chance to think to much about everything as it's all work right now... which maybe is a good thing anyway. I need to watch some of the you tube videos and get my confidence back I think when I get a moment

 

[Roxy2015]

This is so encouraging to hear Roxy! Every journey begins with a first step. And when you look back, you are going to be so proud of yourself overcoming this part of your life! I think your worries about your manager and getting the time off can be a helpful reminder that we should have some faith in humanity, that there are still those that are compassionate and understanding out there. Just hoping to continue spreading the word that we all need to treat each other as another fellow human trying to make it through life.

You've got this! Hope you can get some sleep in the coming weeks

Thank you that’s such a lovely post ?