HELP PLEASE my whole life is affected...

[kangel]

I don't really know where to start. I have all but become a total hermit who never leaves my house and I am pushing away all the people I love and who love me because I am so embarrassed and ashamed. I have considered suicide many times because I just feel it is useless and I will never have the guts to go to the dentist.
my teeth are really bad, they started rotting from my gum line about 5 years ago and I have even broke off too. All that remains are little black stumps, these teeth are the ones next to my 2 front teeth so I barely open my mouth to speak because of this. I can't even bring myself to open my mouth and look at them, I brus them so gingerly because I am scared they will fall out or look worse if I brush them properly. I haven't been eating for a while now, I just live on noodles and other sft mashy things I don't need to chew. I am not in any pain (Which I find odd given the state of my mouth) and they do not even bleed when I brush them, but this is just a joke. I am unbelieavbly scared of going to the dentist, what they will say,what the assistant will think of me... I am only 24 and I am so ashamed I have let my teeth get into this state. I need to do something about it NOW cos I spend all day stressing that one of my front top teeth is about to go the same way and break off.
How can I find a caring understanding dentist who will not chastise me but just HELP ME? I can't talk to ANYONE about this and if someone mentions it to me like my partner will say "Babe you really have to see a dentist" and I run away crying, like a little kid. I have just had a baby 8 months ago ad I don't evn smile to him....
I really want my smile back - I haven't smiled for real in 5 years. I am worried about the cost cos I know it will cost thousands, I am receiving $15000 from an inheritance this May when I turn 25 and I am happy to spend every single cent to get my teeth fixed but I don't think my front tooth is going to hold out that long? PLEASE HELP where can I find a good dentist who will do what he needs to do and not lecture me? Can I get a valium or something before I go? As I said I cant even open my mouth to look at my teeth myself so I don't know how I'll go openig up wide to a complete stranger....
I AM SO ASHAMED. Please help me someone. I am all alone and cannot talk about this to anyone but I need somethng done ASAP.

 

[terra_incognita]

I suggest you bring a friend or family member along with you. Dentistry has changed a lot; it's not the way it used to be. I just went to the dentist today, my first time in 12 years. The dentist is not going to lecture you, and if he or she does, simply get up and walk out! The dentists are there to help you achieve your dental health goals, just remember that you are the client and you are paying them.

I suggest you look up dentists on the internet and read their philosophies regarding treatment, their practice, etc. Try and find someone who specializes in people who have dental fears/phobias.

As for the valium...I don't know if you can get a script before you see the dentist; they'll probably want to see you to make sure that you're not an addict looking for a fix. But call the dentist and ask first. Or, go see a doctor and see if he/she will give you a few pills so you can go to the appointment.

Good luck. You can do it! You might have to spend the entire inheritance to fix your teeth but it will be worth it.

 

[Stress Doc]

Hello Kangel:

You have come to the right place there are many people on this forum that have been in similar and worse situations. There is hope and help here.

I am a psychologist specializing in anxiety disorder and have started working with a dentist helping his patients with their dental anxiety. Dentists do not judge you on the state of your teeth and are not surprised by anything. They are there to help you improve your health and quality of life. There are many dentists that are sensitive to people with dental fear and anxiety. Dentistry has come along way in the past few years. Insensitive, judgmental and uncaring dentists are almost totally extinct.

This forum is filled with wonderful people that understand where you are coming from as they have been there. No one here will judge you or think less of you. By sharing your story you have opened the door to help and support. I am sure it took a lot to write about this situation. The first step is always the hardest. You should be proud of yourself for taking action, well done.

 

[niceguy]

Kangel...

Your not alone... TRUST ME! Heres my story to prove it!

Problems with my teeth... Where do I begin? heh. Lets just say I never really took great care of my teeth... I took just enough care of my teeth to get by and not have problems. I think it slowly compounded from when I was 19-23 or 24 never going to the dentist but never really having many problems although I'm sure problems were forming then.

Then for like 1 or 2 years I just didn't take great care of my teeth.. and its amazing how fast stuff can happen when you neglect to take care of them. Well to sum it up due to my poor deit of drinking tons of mountain dew, smoking, chewing sugary gum it did a number on my teeth. I finally woke up and realised what my poor habits were doing to my teeth/body and changed them but by then it was really to late for my teeth the dmg was done.

So here I am now going on 3yrs of living with my teeth in the condition they are in... Some good did come out of it tho it scared me enough to Start taking great care of my teeth, I stopped smoking, stopping drinking sugary soda ( only diet for me now ), and I only chew sugar free gum! So now its just a matter of getting my teeth fixed.

What needs to be done... Well I have tons of cavities and decay on the tops and front of a lot of my teeth. I tooth #7 has chipped in half due to decay, and I think #30 is also completely decayed with a big hole in it. But the dentist is going to build those up with a post/core and crown them allowing me to save them (this is the majority of my expense right there.) And a lot of the rest of my teeth are being filled with took colored filling and I'll probably have some bonding work done also.

I'm scared as hell to start it but also very excited to finally be done with living in fear of people seeing my teeth.. I'm going to be able to smile again and get on with my life and when that day comes it will be a great feeling.



ONCE AGAIN YOU ARE NOT ALONE! You need to go to the dentist. I'm the same way about my teeth as you are now. You fear people seeing them, you avoid social situations because of it.. I'm there, I'm living it your not alone! You can live in fear everyday for the rest of your life or you can take control and visit a dentist. ALL you have to do is remember your in control. Tell him your scared, tell him you know your teeth are in bad condition and the last thing you need is a lecture. If he doesn't listen to you get up and WALK OUT.. yes it is that simple! Its your money and your teeth if you don't feel comfortable just leave there are many, many, MANY caring dentists who would love to work on your teeth... After all it is a business if someone walks in with bad teeth they know they are gonna get paid!

I hope my story helps. Right now I'm in the middle of getting a lot of my teeth fixed that I've neglected for many years.. after each appointment I feel just a lil better about myself and hopefully I will feel awesome when its all done! But it has to start with that first appointment and only you can take that first step

Best of luck 2 you

 

[Topcat]

I have all but become a total hermit who never leaves my house and I am pushing away all the people I love and who love me because I am so embarrassed and ashamed. I have considered suicide many times because I just feel it is useless and I will never have the guts to go to the dentist.
I have just had a baby 8 months ago ad I don't evn smile to him....

Please look in your local directory for a list of dentists in your area and call them and ask if they have a dentist registered who is specialised in treating patients with anxiety.

No matter how bad you are feeling about your teeth, to think about suicide is not the answer, you have a little baby that needs his mum and is not judging you for the way your teeth look, focus on him, and think of the future and the all the things you have to look forward to seeing him doing and achieving

Having to face your fears an feel all that anxiety is difficult I know I have to face those feelings often in everything I do (I suffer from generalised anxiety and panic attacks) but the one thing that helps is I tell myself that the fearful situation will soon be over and it will soon be a memory and most important of all you realise that nothing is as bad as you thought it would be, if you can go through child birth you can tackle anything

Plus you can come on here and get all those feelings of your chest because no one is judging you.

Good Luck

 

[Zzzdentist]

I find that sometimes our minds can be our worst enemies when it comes to placing barriers in front of us, preventing what we want to get in life, and creating fears that can be paralizing. How can one be really sure what other people will think, why should do we care so much about what other people think, and why should what they think stop us from doing what we want?

As a dentist, I can tell you that when I see a patient, I'm more concerned about trying to figure out the best treatment to provide, how to provide it, and making sure I get paid for it! Passing judgement on someone is really not on the list as I don't know their circumstances and what they have been through. I'm there to help improve their dental situation and that's that. Who am I to judge someone else really? We're all made of the same flesh and blood, and although some might think they are holier than others it all comes down to the same fact that we're all simply people milling around this big blue planet.

I would say don't let your fears prevent you from seeking dental treatment. Find a dentist who is nice and who is willing to help you out. If they for whatever reason want to make you feel bad about things, "See ya later! " They don't deserve your time, money or breath. Those barriers and fears are only what you have allowed yourself to create in your mind.

 

[Snowball]

I was in a very similar state to you this time last year. I managed to find a phobic friendly dentist. Things have really advanced and changed so much you won't believe it. I had one tooth that I thought was unsavable 10 years ago. She saved it! Ended up with a wisdom tooth out, a crown and a lot of fillings. Going to the dentist had been my ultimate fear - felt ill just thinking about it. I still dunno how I did it, if I'm honest, but... I just took it one thing at a time. Nothing hurt. Not for a split second. Not one procedure. Not one fraction of one procedure. My dentist took one look and said *That's probably the best mouth I'll look in all day*. Best mouth? It was a train wreck of a mouth from my point of view.

I felt precisely like you. Got my smile back. It changes your entire life. I can smile - also cuddle my kids and talk at the same time and not feel self conscious. What kept me going was the thought of my kids - my 6 year old especially. That I HAD to be healthy and still here in a few years' time - for him. Every time it got hard, I pictured him.

And I felt a right prat at the end when I had everything done in one go - because it was so untraumatic, I felt an idiot for being so worried about it.

Just let go of the side. You have to get to the depths of despair sometimes to push you into it. I had my first appointent at the end of April, I think, and my treatment all done on the afternoon of May 31. June 1st I woke up smiling! It was all behind me. IV sedation is there to help you. It works! Use it! PM me anytime.