• Dental Phobia Support

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I Hate my horrible teeth

M

mr_Ihatemymouth

Junior member
Joined
Oct 8, 2006
Messages
19
Hi people, I have 3 fears ....Heights, spiders, and my biggest one...anything to do with dentists. I can not bring myself to go to the dentist, the last time I went was when I was about 20, and i`m now 30. I can remember the last time I went it was a huge ordeal for me, I was in really bad pain with a back lower tooth , and painkillers were not helping anymore, I rang the dentist in the morning , and I was so scared I had to hang up as I could not bear the thought of making an appointment. I convinced myself to go and see a hypnotist, as I could not think of anything else, the session was quite good, however it was not a miracle cure, it did not eradicate my fear, however it helped me to at least ring and make an appointment, when I rang they wanted me to wait about a week , but I had told them how much I had had to build myself to ringing them, and finally they agreed to see me that day , and also they agreed they would do any work needed if I was brave enough.

The dentist I saw that day was a very nice elderly man,however the tooth that was troubling me had to be pulled, but he was honest with me and said it may not be straight forward, the tooth was a complete mess, and there were just 2 thin stumps left of it above the gum, and he was concerned that gripping them with the pliers would break the stumps off, and then my gums would need
to be cut open. I was a complete mess, crying etc, my g/f at the time, was with me and gave me lots of encouragement, we went outside while I tried to gather my thoughts, eventually , I decided to be brave and go through with it. He gave me the injection, (which I hate) , and he did a very good job of numbing my mouth,as I did not feel pain, and he did manage to pull the tooth out without breaking it, I do remember a lot of very fierce pulling and yanking though if it was any harder he would have had his foot on my chest .

Since that visit I have avoided going to the dentist, I have had times where my teeth have been really sore, and i have refused to go, and for some reason the pain seems to go after a few weeks, think maybe the teeth are dead or something.

My problem now is there is some mark/ hole/ decay on the side of one of my front teeth, its not something that will brush off, its been there maybe a few years. its nothing painful, but its something I'm really paranoid about, it is knocking my confidence, and I try to avoid smiling as I dont want people to see it. I want to know what would be invloved in getting this tooth looking right again, and also if I'm able to fix it myself.

I just feel like if I cant repair it myself, I'm destined to not smile in public again, to me not smiling ever again, is a small price to pay to not having to visit the dentist again.

Any advice greatly appreciated.
 
Well, hi there. :welcome:

The hardest part of a dental phobia, is first admitting that you have one. You took the time to come here and post about a subject that terrifies you. That in itself is an amazing accomplishment :jump:.

Believe me. I've been there. From the time when I was 5 and my mom took me to her dentist when she had all her teeth extracted and she came into the waiting room and began banging on the walls of the waiting room and did that for 2 hours. It seems they cauterized her gums and she had to wait two hours for them to settle down or something. Imagine being a 5 year old sitting on a bench and seeing this!!! That image has never left my mind and I"m now 59 years old (next month). So Happy Birthday to me!!!


BUT... I let that image instill in me such a fear of everything else in life that I not only neglected my mouth, my teeth, my health, I ate everything in sight and that medicated my brain so I didn't have to think about anything else. Call me neurotic or whatever but my obsession over my mouth really affected my whole life.

How did i change? Well, I came on these boards, read the posts and learned that there are dentists (I call them "good guy"), that actually care about their patients.

I found my "good guy", in NYC and he happens to run a dental phobia clinic out of one of the NYC hospitals. He also has a private practice in NYC. I e-mailed him (that was so hard for me). I had been told by one of my physicians, "melody, you are diabetic, you can't neglect your teeth". All I kept envisioning was torture and pain.

Very hard to get over that image in my brain.
But I emailed this doctor and he replied. Very kindly, very sincere and we set up an appointment. He explained about modern dentistry, about modern techniques and the most important thing, how a dentst numbs you. It makes all the difference because I don't think there is one person on this planet who enjoys getting a shot of novocaine.

Now my "good guy", doesn not give injections. He uses The Wand. Google it (if you know how to do that) and you will see it is one of the latest tools that dentistry has invented that you don't even feel that you are getting numbed. And after you are numbed (you feel nothing). So in actuality, you don't feel the guy working in your mouth.

Now logically, you might say that "oh, that means she's not afraid of the dentist any more".

No, that's not true, I'm still scared to death because it's been instilled in me since I'm 5. So what do I do before I get to my dentist. I take a small bit of calming agent. I, myself use xanax. Some people don't need to do this but I expect you might be like me.

It calms down your whole body, so coupled with the knowledge that my dentist will not hurt me, will not talk down to me, is the most friendly guy on the planet, his staff is absolutely wonderful, they serve you herbal teas, coffee and fruit, well, for me, it makes all the difference in the world.

I had not been to a dentist in a long long time. You had to see the expression on my family's face when they met me in the dentist's office for that first appointment.

I walked in to see them drinking herbal tea, eating fruit and having a merry old time. I walk in scared to death (even though I had been emailing him back and forth).

The staff greeted me with smiles, they were so thoughtful. That day, I got two temporary crowns, and ultimately completed treatment. Sure, there was some discomfort, but I was comfortable with them every step of the way that i wasn't in fear overload (if you can understand what I mean).

It's all in how they treat you, handle you and respect you. I have to say to my dentist "promise me you won't hurt me'. he always smiles and says "don't worry, you'll be fine". And I was.

All I can say is keep looking and open a dialogue and when you fine that one guy or gal that you know will be your "good guy", well, start a dialogue and when you are able, make that appointment. Remember, you are in control. They can't do anything you are not ready for.

I wish you the best.
keep posting. You have friends here.


melody
 
Hi :welcome:

As Mel said, you have shown some some bravery already by posting here with your worries and fears so well done on that! :)

I have been where you are, as have many others. I remember the visit that frightened me for many years like it was yesterday as its always the bad experience we remember rather than the good and although I never thought the words dentist and good experience could ever go together, they finally did for me as I found someone who cared for me, understood my needs and fears and never once made me feel ashamed or embarassed about the mess I let my teeth get into. I remember him saying to me that he can totally understand why people develop this phobia as he has seen some bad dental work in the past. I had to have 4 teeth extracted, 2 crowns and tons of fillings and I really didnt think I could ever go through with the treatment but I did as I had the care from a great dental team.

It did take me some time finding my dentist and I did meet a not so nice guy along the road but I never went back there and didnt give them my money, after all, you wouldnt go into a shop and pay a small fortune for a crabby old pair of jeans would you!

I can honestly say I am no longer phobic, scared of the dentist maybe but not phobic and all because I found someone who cared. Trust me they are out there. Please dont try repairing teeth yourself, you may end up in more trouble than you started with and end up making it a whole lot worse. If you can find someone you really trust with your teeth then it really does make all the difference.
 
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