I messed up, and my kid is paying for it.

[banana pancakes]

I have a massive fear of the dentist after my twin sister had an episode of malignant hyperthermia and nearly died during a routine procedure when we were kids. We had the muscle biopsy, and now have to be really careful when having procedures that require anesthesia.

My daughter just turned two, and shortly after her first teeth came in at 7 months, she fell and chipped one of them. I took her to the pediatrician, who said that it was no big deal and just to take her for her first checkup at a normal age. Because I am terrified of something happening to her, I didn't take her. I know, I know. It was stupid, and I feel awful.

She also sleeps with a bottle. Just from what I can see? She has one large cavity, and two teeth that are chipped and discolored, and a lot of decay. A LOT. Again, stupid on my part. I am so ashamed.

She woke up this morning with a really, really swollen lip and a fever. I took her to the doctor and the injured tooth now has an abscess. She's on antibiotics and responding well, and I made an appointment for a pediatric dentist on Monday.

So now, in addition to the fear of taking her in to possibly have to be put to sleep, I know I messed up and I am ashamed and embarrassed. I work for child protective services, and I know, deep down, that this is dental neglect. I feel awful. I let my kid down.

Can you guys tell me what to expect? I mean, I know that the doctor might have to call it in as neglect, and I am prepared for that. But I am having a panic attack, and I'm so scared that our only options are nitrous oxide or holding her down while she screams.

 

[gamergirl123]

I have a massive fear of the dentist after my twin sister had an episode of malignant hyperthermia and nearly died during a routine procedure when we were kids. We had the muscle biopsy, and now have to be really careful when having procedures that require anesthesia.

My daughter just turned two, and shortly after her first teeth came in at 7 months, she fell and chipped one of them. I took her to the pediatrician, who said that it was no big deal and just to take her for her first checkup at a normal age. Because I am terrified of something happening to her, I didn't take her. I know, I know. It was stupid, and I feel awful.

She also sleeps with a bottle. Just from what I can see? She has one large cavity, and two teeth that are chipped and discolored, and a lot of decay. A LOT. Again, stupid on my part. I am so ashamed.

She woke up this morning with a really, really swollen lip and a fever. I took her to the doctor and the injured tooth now has an abscess. She's on antibiotics and responding well, and I made an appointment for a pediatric dentist on Monday.

So now, in addition to the fear of taking her in to possibly have to be put to sleep, I know I messed up and I am ashamed and embarrassed. I work for child protective services, and I know, deep down, that this is dental neglect. I feel awful. I let my kid down.

Can you guys tell me what to expect? I mean, I know that the doctor might have to call it in as neglect, and I am prepared for that. But I am having a panic attack, and I'm so scared that our only options are nitrous oxide or holding her down while she screams.

You have to trust me on a giant piece of advice since I'm first hand evidence how one bad appointment can screw a kid up.

When it comes to the appointment for the work, you need to make sure its a place that tends to be sensitive with kids and takes it easy with them. I had to have work done when it was about 4. The first place mom tried, I refused to open my mouth at all. You know what their solution was? I got dragged to a dentist school and papoosed for work! End result? When I went in at age 25 last year, I had been in to see a dentist or about 17 YEARS b/c of one bad experience and I refused to go.

Result? I had to get a deep cleaning, 2 rounds of 7 extractions plus partials, and 2 fillings. I had to go in for at least a dozen adjustments in a span of 6 months for the torture devices and I can't even really eat w/ them in. The one day a week I wear them sucks the life out of me and throws me into a near anxiety attack the day b4. I should go in for a cleaning sooner then later but I just don't care anymore.

 

[Bastet]

I was once in circumstances similar to your daughter's, so I hope I can offer some support. I know you would go back and change the past if you could, but since that's impossible, the important thing is to move forward from where you are now. It sounds like you are doing that, and that's good. Really, it is.

I can honestly say I was never angry at my mother for what happened to me. When I was old enough to understand that what happened to me may have been avoided, I was also old enough to understand that she was very afraid herself and was doing the best she could. The important thing is that she did eventually get me the care that I needed.

I think it would be helpful if you discussed your fears about anesthesia with the pediatric dentist. That way, the dentist will have information necessary to help make the treatment comfortable for both your daughter and you.

Take care.