Initial appointment Tuesday – anxiety!

[UhOhNo]

Hello all,

First of all I'd like to say thank you. I've been lurking the threads for a while and so many of you take time to respond to people with compassion and empathy. It's forced me to take the plunge and register with a dentist and make an initial appointment for a check-up.

I'm 23 and I've had an aversion to visiting the dentist for a long time. I don't remember anything awful happening in childhood and my teeth grew in well (no braces or anything) but as a teenager I had a terrible dentist. She was not interested in treating me sympathetically but rather always made me feel bad about my teeth. Since then, I always think that if I go to the dentist they too would wonder why my teeth were bad or if I hadn't taken care of them. The fear of judgement, shame and embarrassment was too much.

Truthfully, I'm not sure how bad my teeth are. I have two bottom broken molars, a few others that will need re-filled and the latest issue: my top left bicuspid is sore, sensitive and loose feeling. I don't actually think it is loose though – I'm not sure if I'm imagining it or not! Either way, I'm dreading it. The last time I went to the dentist was for emergency retreatment in 2009 to fill a tooth that was agonising. The treatment was great and I was pleasantly surprised how well it went. That was only a temporary filling that has since fell out because I've avoided going since then.

My appointment is booked for Tuesday 12[SUP]th[/SUP] with a dental practice that comes recommended. The dentist I've been appointed was qualified in July 2012 and looks friendly. On her bio page on their website she states, "I particularly enjoy treating anxious patients, building a rapport and helping them through their dental treatment, whether it be minor treatment or more extensive work". That sounds promising!!!

I'm shaking just writing this so I'm sure I'll need all the positive vibes come Tuesday! Wish me luck.

 

[lizzieboo]

Well done for making the appointment! It certainly sounds like the dentist has all the right credentials for treating nervous people. You will certainly get plenty of support on here too........with plenty of "virtual" hands to hold! Good luck for 12th. Hope it goes well for you.......I'm sure it will and you will be fine. The hardest part is plucking up the courage to make that call!!

 

[carole]

All the best for your appointment good luck

 

[glou]

Well done for taking the first steps to a healthy mouth!

I went to the dentist on Tuesday (NHS) for the first time in a long time. I can honestly say I neglected my teeth for too long.

like you I have broken teeth and some are broken to the root. I need a partial top and bottom. Treatment starts 25/11.

Like you I was so scared and anxious I thought I would walk out, I felt sick. Luckily I had a young dentist who was lovely, though before I let her look in my mouth, I explained my fears and how ashamed i was and the state of my mouth. She was lovely and completely sympathetic. She had a look and gave me my dental treatment plan.

all i can say is explain your fears- chances are your teeth are not as bad as you think ( I was thinking oral cancer and all sorts!). Tell them everything you feel, I am sure they will be sympathetic, dentistry has come a long way, I was really surprised!

Be brave and stick it out, your mouth will be healthy again in no time xxx

 

[sharon]

Hi - Congratulations on taking that first step and good luck with your appt. Sounds like you will be in good hands. I love dentists who are sensitive to the needs of those with anxiety in the chair. It makes a world of difference.

Sharon

 

[icandothis]

Just wanted to wish you luck for Tuesday, I've got my final appointment on the same day! Please come back and tell us how it was

 

[UhOhNo]

Thank you all!

Your words are a comfort. The rational part of my brain knows that I will likely be OK - it's the err... irrational part that comes up with all manner of weird and wonderful (read: terrifying!) outcomes. I just hope I get a chance to actually explain to her that I'm embarrassed and anxious. I've played it out in my head how tomorrow will go down... let's hope it works out OK and I feel comfortable with her. Probably my number one fear is not feeling like she "gets me" and I end up scheduling surgery with her anyway. I hope we click! ... Ok, I'll let you know how it goes – 27 hours to go!!

Thanks again.

 

[lizzieboo]

Hi. Is there any way you can write a letter before your appointment tomorrow? Or......write a letter explaining how you feel.....and take it with you? Before my first appointment a couple of weeks ago, my main concern was that the dentist wouldn't understand my fears....or at least the extent of them, so I wrote a letter and delivered it to the surgery beforehand. It WAS difficult to write...so hard to put feelings into words.......but at least he had a "heads up" before we met.......and I think it really helped me (and him!). I didn't know whether I could deliver it beforehand, so I had thought of taking it with me, but was worried that I would feel embarrassed and humiliated if he read it in front of me! Just a thought.........but it certainly helped me!! Good luck tomorrow!

 

[UhOhNo]

Hi. Is there any way you can write a letter before your appointment tomorrow? Or......write a letter explaining how you feel.....and take it with you? Before my first appointment a couple of weeks ago, my main concern was that the dentist wouldn't understand my fears....or at least the extent of them, so I wrote a letter and delivered it to the surgery beforehand. It WAS difficult to write...so hard to put feelings into words.......but at least he had a "heads up" before we met.......and I think it really helped me (and him!). I didn't know whether I could deliver it beforehand, so I had thought of taking it with me, but was worried that I would feel embarrassed and humiliated if he read it in front of me! Just a thought.........but it certainly helped me!! Good luck tomorrow!

Thank you! I'm glad this method worked for you. I don't feel like it would for me though - I think it would exacerbate my embarrassment further. Not because it's "embarrassing" but because that's the way I would internalise it.

Uh. It's 11am now and my appointment is at 4pm. Butterflies in my stomach swirling... I'm just taking it one step at a time and am determined to actually get in to that dentist office. I will let you know how it goes!

 

[sharon]

I'm sending good thoughts your way for a nice easy appointment. And I'm looking forward to your email when it's over.

 

[lilawaugh]

Edit: Sorry wrong thread.

 

[UhOhNo]

OK! I'm back and I'm alive! It's a miracle.

I got there early so I could sign paperwork and whatnot. The office was really fancy and felt nice, not too clinical. I immediately felt fairly comfortable. Well, more comfortable than I expected!

Butterflies were going tenfold. At one point I thought I might barf. I could taste my lunch in my throat... Not nice! Anyway, I drank some water and tried to console myself by repeating that it probably won't be as bad as I could imagine.

.... I was right. My dentist came to collect me and I instantly felt a warmth from her. It's hard to explain that quality in a person -- she just had it. I was relived. She took me into the room and said I could sit where I'd like. I chose to sit in that scary seat... We talked for a while and I told her that although I'm not as "scared" as some patients may be, I am an anxious person and feel generally embarrassed/ashamed. She was patient and seemed genuinely interested to hear about my dental history. She told me not to worry about what had happened in the past and that she would do anything she could to make sure I felt safe and understood. She was sweet and I felt like she was actually listening. I'm so glad that I like her. Panic over in that department.

She asked if she could do a checkup and take some x-rays. I told her this was fine and she got on with it. I was comfortable and relaxed during the entire visit. They charted my teeth, took x-rays and she poked my gums with some sharp utensil!

She sat me back up and asked how I was feeling. She then explained the situation with my teeth. At this point my heart started to race - oh jeepers, the fear of the unknown is just so strong! She told me pretty much what I expected: I'd need two immediate fillings, one if which may well turn in to root canal, depending on how it looks when they start working. She said two of my old fillings need re-done and we can do them at my pace. She said if I'd like, when they're doing the "immediate" work, if I feel like I can handle it I can opt for the others to be done in the same session. She stressed that it was up to me. I was thankful for her taking the time to explain. She said I'd need a gum cleaning and two extractions of the sites where my two molars have broken to the gum. They are doing the gum cleaning treatment when I'm already numb from the fillings. She explained it as more than a scale and polish but didn't really go into too much detail as she said it sounds worse than it is. That was fine with me!

Overall, I expected all those things and more. I was so glad when she had finished telling me what she had found. Phew. I can't put into words the relief. I think at this point I was so elated I'd actually start to zone out of the situation. Am I really here? Did I just have an enjoyable checkup? Is this really a dentist chair I'm in?! Sounds crazy.

She gave me a "well done" on seeking treatment and not putting it off any longer. She said she was looking forward to working with me to help regain my confidence in dental treatment. I was so happy. I truly felt safe with her, like she knew what she was doing (very UNLIKE my old dentist...!) and that she had time to listen to me.

I booked my first appointment for the 28th of this month. I'm actually kind of excited to go back and get things done. Such a weird feeling. I asked before I left that I'd *definitely* being seeing her then, she laughed and said yes. Load off my mind!

Overall, a very positive experience and I'm looking forward to finally being able to move past the clutches of dental anxiety.

To everyone who replied, thank you so much. Seriously, on my way there I thought about your comments and it gave me strength and courage. I wish you all the same.

 

[sharon]

I am so happy for you!!!!!!!! You made it through and it was actually on the pleasant side. She sounds like a wonderful dentist and I'm glad you found her.

 

[Squemily]

Hi It's great to hear things went so well for you, you replied to my post about new dentists horrors today. Amazing how things can be so much better than we feared, good luck with your new dentist she sounds great

 

[kitkat]

Hi!
This is my first reply to you but I have been following your thread and just wanted to say well done and I am so glad that you have found the right dentist for you! That is really half the battle but one you settle in with the right one, the rest just falls into place! Give yourself a pat on the back for getting yourself there! You are well on your way and have already accomplished so much in this short time. good luck! I look forward to seeing how you come along!

 

[angel123]

well done you!

 

[carole]

You have found yourself a very good and understanding dentist there, lucky you. I am so glad that it went so well for you.

Good luck for your appointment, let us know how you get on.

WELL DONE

 

[UhOhNo1]

Hey all! Different username as I can't mind the password to my other one! Sorry.

I had my first treatment appointment today! It was due to be last Thursday but I cancelled it until this week as I had a cold.

It went well! Two fillings, a molar extraction (roots and broken remaining tooth) and teeth cleaning. I felt NO PAIN! The injections were great - smooth and I felt no discomfort. Mouth went numb SUPER quick and they started working right away. A bunch of pushing and pressure but it all felt fine. I kept waiting to feel pain. I could feel my body tense up. I kept having to tell myself, "You are safe. You are fine. Breathe". That helped. Any time I exhaled I felt my body relax.

Again, I really do love my dentist. She is great! She tells you what you can expect to feel but doesn't give you a play-by-play which works great for me. I just kept my eyes closed and let them get on with it.

I'm at home now and the extraction site is bleeding quite a bit and the anesthetic is wearing off. She said it can bleed a bit but will heal normally. I've to take pain killer and relax. I feel fine though - only slight discomfort now but totally bearable. I booked another appointment next Wednesday to get the rest of the work done. Yay!

Just to say, thank you for commenting and for anyone reading, please make that appointment! I'm grateful for my dentist - she is wonderful.