• Dental Phobia Support

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letting some stupid teeth ruin my happiness

Oh Spider! You are so brave and I’m so proud of you for getting through your cleaning. Like you, I have a cleaning scheduled this month and the anxiety is starting to kick in. I would rather go to my ortho every single day than visit the dentist every six months.

You overcame so much to get to the office and get through your appointment. You should be very proud of yourself.

P. S. I hope your husband is feeling better!
 
Thank you! If only we could bottle up our calmness and feelings of success at the end of each appointment and save it for the next time when the anxiety creeps back in! My husband is finally starting to feel better! I allowed him out of quarentine today, lol
 
I’ve been so busy lately, and tried to post the day before my cleaning appointment, but ran out of time. So I’ve saved everything and will post it now!


Thursday (cleaning appointment is on Friday morning)

Well it’s that time again, the dreaded 6 month cleaning. 6 months ago I had a really hard time leading up to the cleaning. Lots of anxiety and doom and gloom thoughts and I almost cancelled the appointment from the parking lot. This time, the thoughts have been creeping in but so far I’ve been doing a great job at squashing them down and “changing the subject” in my head. This is the most I’ve allowed myself to think about my appointment, but I think documenting it is a good idea. Typically, I play through various scenarios, but I’m not allowing myself to do that. It may sound odd, but whenever the thought “oooooh noooo I have my appointment Friday” creeps into my thoughts, I tell myself “there are bigger things in the world” and then I change the subject in my head.

That being said, my mental health is always better in the summer vs the fall/early winter, so I hope this strategy continues to work year round.


Current day (Saturday)

It’s over! I made it and I didn’t freak out too badly at all. I never allowed my brain to dwell on it, but my body certainly knew what was about to happen, so I spent the entire morning in the bathroom having stress poo’s, (TMI) lol! I was a bit worried that during the drive to town I would have to make an emergency stop on the side of the road.

It went as well as one could expect a cleaning to go. The office was very quiet, no “dentist noises”, no weird clinical smells. I saw the same hygienist which is nice as she knows that I'm a bit crazy and always nervous. I do have the start of decay between 2 teeth- they’ve been “watching” it for awhile. It hasn’t worsened and the dentist gave me some fluoride to try at home, to see if I can reverse some of the decay. Typically I panic when the dentist examines my mouth at the end of the cleaning. In a past life, I would actually fail to open my mouth properly, and squirm around to keep the dentist from having a proper look, lol. But I was good and held my mouth open and let him look at everything.
 
Sounds like a great appointment and victory over the fear and anxiety!! :jump: :love: :perfect:
 
I see it's been a year since I posted here. The entire week I've been worried and all morning I was worried. For the past few months, I would occasionally think about how I was having a cleaning at the end of June, and worry. I was dreading summer. It's really terrible how much of my life is spent worrying about the dentist.

All the normal scenarios played through my head... what if I have to puke and have diarrhea at the same time while I'm there? What if I use their bathroom and cannot leave because I'm so sick? What if I feel unwell during the cleaning? What if I have a panic attack in the waiting room? What if I catch a disease and it ruins my vacation next week? Will I beable to tell the difference between anxiety and the start of a stomach virus?

I've been listening to meditation/awareness type videos for a few months, so I tried hard to "be in the present moment" but my anxiety always seems to win.

So I got there and the hygeniest didnt waste any time for small talk, which I really needed to distract my mind. I decided that I definitely didnt want to be there anymore, plus it was kinda warm and I didnt like anything about the place!
I told the hygeniest that I may not stay for long as I'm a mess. She was like "okay" and then went on with the normal questions! First she took my bp which was crazy high, and I said "yep, I'm not doing good, that's why I'm not staying for long" Then she asked if anyone at home had "the virus" and I said "no, well.... my daughter has been unwell with a bad tummy, which I suppose could be covid symptom, hmmmm" Which is true, but I know for sure it's not "the virus" that they care about, it's more of a gallbladder thing shes been dealing with. I told her about my daughter's tummy hoping she'd kick me out! She asked if I tested her for covid and I said all snarky "no and I'm not going to, we don't test!".... pause.... (me hoping that my very poor attitude about covid would get me kicked out....) But nope, crap, she did not make me go home!

I realized I was acting like a bratty child so I tried being quiet for a few minutes. She said it was time to update xrays and I said "how many?" She said 8. I said "I may not do all 8, that's almost too much." Eeek, bratty child again!

Once she started I honestly calmed down and felt okay although at one point I complained that I disliked when she scraped my back teeth as they may just pop out!

I do have a small cavity that I will get filled in august. At the end of the cleaning I met the other dentist in the practice (a husband/wife team) and the lady dentist really listened and asked me lots of questions about my fears. So at the end I felt great, I felt heard and understood. So I'm going to see the lady dentist who will drill the tooth and then my favorite chatty assistant who will place the filling. Driving home I felt amazing. All of my physical pain symptoms were gone, all obviously a result of anxiety. I told my brain "remember this!!!" I doubt it will though and I'll be a nervous mess come August.
 
@Spider I'm not laughing at you. Purely with you. Trying to get get chucked out for being a bratty child. Hilarious!
But failing... even funnier.
Anyway, well done. I'm so very inspired and , after a hiatus of another nearly 3 years (due to covid but also I flat out refused an appointment because the surgery phoned very early one morning after I'd slept poorly...) Time to get back on that dentist's chair for me. Thanks to your update popping into my email box.

Well done and thanks for this. A great read and well written indeed. But that last update really tickled me pink. Haha. Excellent stuff. :thankyou:
 
@Ilovemydentistreally
I'm glad you found my story funny 😂 I'm still a bit shocked at how I behaved, I'm not usually like that! That's so funny that the early morning call sparked your inner stubbornness and you refused to make an appointment. Sounds like something I'd do too 😂
Hope all goes well and you get yourself back in the chair soon!!
Thanks for reading :)
 
@Spider I am so glad you posted a new response so I could back-read through your journal because…are you me?

I’m undiagnosed with agoraphobia right now (although diagnosed with other anxiety disorders) and all I can say is your thoughts sounded exactly like mine. The fear of being sick, the fear of leaving your “safe spot” (being your home)…it’s all exactly like me. My agoraphobia is also the kind that leaves me feeling trapped in situations and makes me panic, which includes leaning back in a dentist chair and being in any doctor’s appointments. Reading your journey and seeing how you’ve improved makes me hopeful for my own future (even with the brattiness post :ROFLMAO: I totally understand that. If I’m with someone I might just stomp my feet like a child and demand we go home LOL)

I have so much major dental work I need done (4 extractions + 2 restorations and a full exam in November. I’ll be under GA and after that I have to get a bunch of fillings, and then partial dentures and then have my wisdom teeth out.) And I was wondering how on earth I’d cope with all these appointments (I also will have cleanings every three months) when I just want to stay home in my safe place and not a place that triggers my anxiety/PTSD/agoraphobia. But you’ve really given me a sense of “I can do this!” And I can’t thank you enough for sharing your story on here so people like me could read it. I think feeling less alone is such a huge part of having dental phobia and being able to read someone who had thoughts exactly like I have and who’s gotten through their appointments? It really is the best thing I could ask for.

Good luck in the future! :grouphug:
 
@APhobicQueen thank you so so much for your reply! It's a good feeling that my story could give someone else hope with their own dental journey.
Agoraphobia is a constant struggle and unless a person suffers from it, I think it's really hard to understand how it impacts every aspect of life. My kids ended up being homeschooled for the past 2 years because of schools being closed for a year, and then another year of mandatory masks (I have a special needs child). So I feel the agoraphobia trying to crush me as my "exposures" have lessened so much.
I wish you so much success with your appointment in November and then all of the followups and cleanings! You can do it! I'd love to follow your story if you decide to document everything here in a journal.
 
@Spider You’re welcome! And yes, I feel like anytime I can help someone with my story, I always feel better with my phobia. Like healing others helps us to heal too.

Oh yes! The pandemic just messed with everything agoraphobic related for me. I’d planned to do exposure therapy and get out more, but of course that was shut down. And now just going for a basic haircut feels like life or death. I really do think people don’t understand the bone chilling fear we have when we leave the house. It really does feel like we could die :cry: Truly the worst. I actually have to go to a wedding that’s hours away for an entire weekend, and I have no idea how I’m going to do it. Not only do I have to worry about my teeth, but I have this other anxiety about being so far from home too.

Thank you so much for the luck! I do have a journal on here where I’ve been documenting my experiences since March I think? When I first got my ”diagnosis” so to speak. I just updated earlier today so it should be on the first page, near the top I imagine.
 
Today (Thursday) I had an appointment to get a cavity filled that was between 2 teeth. I’ve been anticipating it for many many weeks, but over the past 7 days the dread grew quite large. I came up with many reasons to cancel, but my top reason was:


—The weather will be too hot, so if I panic, I will not be able to “cool off” if I run outside. I could get heat stroke and may die—


So I obsessively checked the weather forecast several times each day, and Thursday kept showing 90 degree weather (90 degrees is hot where I live!)

The sun is quite bright on hot days and I really dislike driving in bright light. It would be better to wait for a cool cloudy day!

Tuesday night came and I started to panic some more, because it was probably too late to cancel due to sunny weather. So then I started to think of all the “what ifs”.

What if I drank too much pond water and will have explosive diarrhea?


What if I’m too sick to leave the bathroom at the dentists office and I’m stuck there all day?


What if I go insane, like have a mental breakdown and need to be hospitalized?


What if I totally freak out and drive away with a huge drilled out hole still in my tooth? Surely that will be painful when the numbing wears off??

It was exhausting thinking about all the terrible things that would probably happen. By Wednesday I sort of snapped and decided I was done with anxiety, it was stupid and I need to stop restricting my life with my worries. Wednesday I actually felt quite peaceful all day and it seemed like I was cured from 20 years of agoraphobia and panic attacks. I really thought it was a miracle!

Then Thursday morning came and I woke up feeling quite panicked. I tried reasoning with myself that I wasn’t supposed to be panicked anymore because yesterday I was cured. It didn’t help. I started going through all the “what if’s” again. I packed extra clothes just incase I had explosive diarrhea all over myself. I was so nervous all morning, but I rushed around since it was an early appointment and there wasn’t much time.

I managed to walk into the waiting room and sat down, I tried to act really normal. Right away the assistant came out to get me. It was my favorite assistant- they know that I need her as my assistant or else I will leave. It’s been 2 years since I’ve seen her, and we chatted like there was never a break. She remembered stuff that I had told her about my garden and my kids, and we talked really really fast so we could update each other on everything. Our kids are the same age and we both grow huge gardens, so there is so much to talk about. All of my anxiety went away completely. The dentist finally came in and he numbed my mouth, and then we kept talking! I love talking about plants! Then the dentist came back and I had to be quiet. That was the hard part. I tried to think about how I felt, and I tried to notice that I felt calm and that everything was okay. It must have been a small cavity because it didn’t take very long. I didn’t panic at all, and my anxiety never came back during the procedure. Once the tooth was filled, he left, and then me and the assistant talked some more and shared pictures of vegetables.

I left feeling quite good and treated myself to a shopping trip at the local quilting store. I didn’t buy anything, but it was fun to walk around and look at everything.

I wish I could stop all the nonsense before and remember how it's okay once I'm there!
 
@Spider absolutely amazing Spider! You did so well! Glad to you treated yourself because you deserve it.

Also relate to the “oh my anxiety is stupid” and then it goes away and you think “finally!” Only for it to come roaring back. Ah, anxiety is a cruel thing isn’t it?

Still so proud of you for going through with it and getting that cavity filled! Yay!
 
I'm back because I have another appointment coming up... for this Wednesday, eeeeeeek! I just called the dentist's office and scheduled it. My heart is still pounding out of my chest and I feel sick inside. I hate this feeling and its only a freakin cleaning!

I was supposed to have my cleaning in January, but I had to call and cancel because my daughter was sick. I could have technically gone (since my mom would have stayed with her), but it was a stomach bug and I have emetophobia too (fear of vomiting) so I was incredibly anxious, dealing with issues related to sicknesss bugs and contamination. So it was rescheduled for February. 2 days before the cleaning, we had a tragic loss on our farm. I have a flock of sheep and during the night, a cougar very boldly climbed up the wall of the barn and got inside with my animals. The cougar killed 15 of my 18 sheep. I haven't been right mentally to handle any more stress, which includes dental visits. The cougar continued to hang around our farm, attempting to climb into the barn several more times. Whenever we had snow on the ground, we could see that it also liked to walk right past our door and porch, and all around the play area near the house where my kids play! It's been 2 months of sleepless nights, but we finally took care of the problem.

I have no more excuses. The cougar is gone, my sheep are safe, my kids are safe, and I need to move on, which means getting my teeth cleaned. I put off rescheduling for a week, but today I forced myself to do it, despite my brain and body screaming NOOOOO!

So of course I made a fool of myself. When I called, she offered a noon appointment and I said "but when am I going to eat lunch!? Thats not good!" and she said "you can eat before, or after, it's okay" and I said, "but, that's not my NORMAL lunch time" ... she was silent and I said "don't mind me, I'm very anxious and I worry about everything. Give me the noon appointment please"

Oh dear. I'm not sure I can do this. Besides Wednesday at noon, the next available appointment was in August. My anxious brain would love to wait until August but I can't let it keep winning. Why can't I just be normal and not worry so much. By now this should be easier.
 
Today was my appointment and it went really well. I was quite nervous all day yesterday and was frantically trying to stay distracted. I ended up buying a book meant to help me view the world and my inner problems differently, and I made a bunch of bracelets to wear, each one represents something special in my life. I was definitely trying to find inner peace. Perhaps it worked because I woke up this morning, somewhat less nervous.

When I arrived, my usual hygienist called me back. I was supposed to see a different lady since my appointment was made just 2 days ago, but my hygienist said that she switched the noon patients so I could see her! I think it was very sweet. I assumed that I annoyed her with my complaining and nervousness, but perhaps she does like me?? She could have just said good riddance and let the other hygienist see me. I explained how I made my appointment last minute and it was either see the other hygienist OR wait until August to see her.... and if I waited until August, I may decide to never come back. She seemed to understand. The best news is my teeth are all good!! I held my mouth open really big so the dentist could have a good look. Many years ago, I would purposely twist my head around to make it hard for the dentist to look for cavities. I've come such a long way :ROFLMAO:
 
An update is due! I totally forgot to post about my cleaning appointment in October 2023. Both of the hygienists had broken bones so the dentist was doing the cleanings. I was really thrown off by the change, but it ended up being okay. 2 of my teeth have deep seams (or joints, or cracks, I'm not sure the right terminology) that he was concerned may have decay hiding underneath, so I scheduled another appointment to have them filled.

I was supposed to go back in November, but I rescheduled for December and then I rescheduled for January 8th! I kept rescheduling because I was having a really hard time mentally and the thought of seeing the dentist would be too much. I always have seasonal affective disorder in October-December so my mind is never thinking logically and I get sucked into cycles of worry, doom and gloom.

It didn't help that in November we discovered a very hard lump on my son's leg. I spiraled so low, I haven't experienced that level of anxiety and doom in years. I knew it wasn't good. After a torturous month of waiting for doctors appointments, we were told he has a bone tumor, but its not cancerous. We found out in mid December, so I feel like I've finally recovered from the massive amount of stress that weighed heavily on my heart for an entire month.

Normally I would be mad at myself for re-scheduling, but I'm really glad that I did. Yesterday I was able to calmly go to my appointment and at no point did I feel panicked. They took my blood pressure and it was really high, so I was stressed, but despite the stress, it was okay. I did have anticipatory anxiety and negative thoughts for days before my appointment, but I didn't allow myself to go down the "what if" rabbit hole. I would shake the thoughts from my mind and say "I'm excited to have these teeth fixed!" Sometimes my brain would say "no you're not" and then I would distract myself instead of arguing back. Am I "cured"... nope. I think I'm still just as afraid, but I am much braver now.
 
Telling statement "I think I'm still just as afraid, but I am much braver now." Perhaps this is key for all of us. If you can't stop being afraid, then start being brave. One way to look at it at least. Thanks for sharing your experience - there's something there we can all benefit from.
 
This is a very useful thread, @Spider. Thank you so much for sharing. I am just about to begin a long journey of fillings, crowns, wisdom teeth extractions and two implants. I am very much dreading it and whilst I do not have the level of anxiety you do, it is great to read about other people’s successes. Well done on getting through your major treatment and coping with all the check ups. I hope I can be as brave as you.
 
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