My long and not very interesting story

[Concerned and afraid]

So, um. Hi.

I'm not sure how to begin. I've got a dental story to tell that seems pretty trivial compared to many others I've seen here, but it's scaring the daylights out of me, and I could use some support.

I guess I'll just begin at the beginning.

I visited the dentist pretty regularly as a kid, right up to the time I got braces. I don't know whether I had a lousy orthodontist or whether I was just a bad patient, but it was the better part of two years of non-stop agony. The pain was brutal, and to this day the insides of my cheeks are scarred. That's when my real terror of all things tooth-related set in.

Now I'm 38 years old, and I haven't been to a dentist regularly since. I had my wisdom teeth removed under general anesthesia by an oral surgeon (they were severely impacted), and a couple of years ago I had a crown put on a molar that cracked. But no check-ups, no cleanings. I'm absolutely fastidious about brushing my teeth — never fewer than twice a day, sometimes as often as four times: morning, after lunch, after dinner, before bed. I'm practically OCD about brushing. But other than that, nothing.

Overall, I've lived a fairly comfortable life, but a couple of years ago I was unexpectedly laid off from my job. I went through about a year of severe poverty. I literally did not have the money to buy food.

About a year ago, coincidentally just as I'd found work again, I had a very strange experience. My teeth began to feel … well, just weird. There was no pain. It was just a strange sensation that I find hard to put into words. Almost as if I woke up one day to find my bite had changed. My teeth weren't aligning the way they always had when I closed my mouth.

Thinking (possibly foolishly) that I had a vitamin deficiency, I started taking daily supplements as soon as I could afford them, just in case. It hasn't fixed the problem, but it hasn't hurt either, and I never got the one autumn cold I usually get per year, so I guess that's okay.

This has gone on, more or less, for nearly a year now. There's never been any pain, just a peculiar, almost numb feeling. If I don't hold my jaw just the right way when I close my mouth, my teeth touch in an odd and uncomfortable way.

Earlier today, after lunch, I felt like I had a little scrap of food or something around the upper part of one of my top front teeth. So I idly ran my tongue up there to wipe it away … and I had the strangest sensation! It felt like there was a sort of pressure or something on my tooth. I had the panicked sensation that my tooth was coming out. I think it was all in my head; I never felt it move or anything like that. But it was just incredibly strange. And I've been on the absolute edge of an anxiety attack ever since.

A couple of hours ago I tried to go to bed, but sleep wouldn't come. I just kept … being aware of my teeth, if that makes sense. I felt sure they were going to drop right out of my head, or whatever. It was horrible, lying there in bed filled with these visions of myself with my teeth crumbling out.

So I got up, got my laptop out, and ended up here.

It's obvious that I need to go to a dentist. I mean, at the very least my teeth haven't been professionally cleaned in more than twenty years. But it's also obvious, to me, that I'm simply not going to do it. And I'm not happy about that at all.

I've heard, now and again, that sedation dentistry is an option. How does one go about finding a dentist who'll offer that, and also who'll be gentle and supportive, and also who'll be good at his or her job?

I'm also concerned about money. I have some, in the bank, but I'm working as a freelancer these days, so I have no insurance. Any trips to the dentist I make will have to be paid for out of my meager savings. How can I make some progress on this while also managing the costs? (I'm in the States, incidentally.)

And finally … if it's possible to do so without out-and-out lying to me … could someone reassure me that it's probably not as bad as I fear it to be? I've read some of the other stories here from people whose teeth have fractured, or who have infections, or who are just generally in such awful pain that they can hardly stand it. I'm not in any pain at all … which means I feel like something of a selfish child for being so anxious about all this and asking for support.

I just … well, I just can't sleep, you see. I'm a thirty-eight-year-old man who, right now, wants nothing more than to go hide under the bed and wait for it all to go away.

I'm sorry for being so long-winded. Thank you for reading.

 

[brit]

I'm not a dentist...however it is possible from what you have described that your teeth are shifting a bit (the bite feeling different as you describe) maybe because of gum issues.
You mention brushing a lot, and it is possible for brushing a lot (eg 4 times instead of twice a day - or for too long, too often) to damage the gums. So unfair I know.

It sounds to me like your orthodontic experience was not the norm - most people just experience a bit of discomfort after tightening, nothing like what you have described.

You are right - you need to see a dentist but you probably don't need sedation. The best way to find a sympathetic competent dentist is by asking friends, relatives and co-workers.
A periodontist is a dentist who specialises in gum issues, you may want to make one of those your first call or at least a General dentist with an interest in perio.
I could be completely wrong of course but just trying to point you in an appropriate direction. You are losing sleep anyway so best get some qualified advice as soon as possible.

 

[letsconnect]

Hi and ,

the "symptoms" you've described could be simply due to you concentrating on your teeth - it's very easy to feel odd sensations once we direct our attention to one part of our body!

It sounds like the psychological burden of avoiding dentists is beginning to outweigh the benefits for you - and that's not a bad thing at all. It doesn't matter whether the pain is physical or psychological - if it helps us to take action, then it has a purpose!

As Brit said, what you experienced during ortho treatment does not sound like the norm, and it is no wonder that you are distrustful of dentists now. There is such a thing as "healthy distrust"! A healthy skepticism can help us to avoid making mistakes, do our research, and make informed decisions.

I'm not sure if the following page is relevant to your own situation, as it was caused by bad experiences with an orthodontist rather than with a dentist, but some of the tips may be useful to you: Fear of Unnecessary or Wrong Treatment

I've heard, now and again, that sedation dentistry is an option. How does one go about finding a dentist who'll offer that, and also who'll be gentle and supportive, and also who'll be good at his or her job?

The best way of finding a gentle and supportive dentist is by asking others (friends, colleagues, acquaintances, relatives, or neighbours) for recommendations - and if a dentist sounds promising, probe for further information regarding what the dentist is like in terms of personality (how approachable they are, how supportive, how gentle etc.) and if they have been happy with the dentist's work.

You could also ring around specialist offices in your area (oral surgeons, endodontists, periodontists and the like), say that you've moved to the area recently, and ask which dentists they can recommend (they would know from looking at people's mouths which dentists are technically competent!).

The internet is another source of information - there are websites like doctoroogle.com where patients can rate dentists, and also dentist's websites themselves can tell you a lot about the dentist's philosophy.

If you get the same recommendation/s from more than one source, all the better!

I'm also concerned about money. I have some, in the bank, but I'm working as a freelancer these days, so I have no insurance. Any trips to the dentist I make will have to be paid for out of my meager savings. How can I make some progress on this while also managing the costs? (I'm in the States, incidentally.)

We've got some tips on this page:

How to Pay for Dental Treatment in the U.S.

Are you worried about not being able to afford dental treatment you desperately need? This page explains the options available in the US.

www.dentalfearcentral.org

I'm not in any pain at all … which means I feel like something of a selfish child for being so anxious about all this and asking for support.

It doesn't matter at all whether the pain is physical, or psychological, or both - one is as bad as the other, and you're certainly not being selfish!!

I hope you'll be able to find a gentle supportive dentist whom you trust

 

[brit]

Another thought - have any of your teeth experienced any trauma...bumps etc...this can lead to numb feelings at the time and then further down the line after we have long-forgotten the incident; and as Letsconnect says, it's easy for our mind to play tricks and exaggerate symptoms which may in reality only relate to one confined area.

 

[Concerned and afraid]

Thank you for the comments and support.

Well, I now have an appointment.

The night I posted my original message, I went looking for nearby dentists via the Internet. I found several — apparently I live in a very dentist-rich part of the city. One in particular appeared, based on their Web site, to cater to people who aren't entirely comfortable with all this.

I sent them an email. I heard back the next morning; the person on the other end asked for my number. I provided it, and she said she'd call in a few days.

This morning she did. I began asking questions, and immediately apologized for taking up her time. She reassured me, saying the reason she hadn't called earlier was because she wanted to talk with me for as long as I needed to.

She asked me some questions —*is there any pain, do you ever bleed when you brush or floss — and then said she would ask one of her coworkers to call me in a few minutes to get into more details with me.

The person who called me back was equally nice. Again, she emphasized that she had all the time in the world to chat with me. She talked to me in detail about what the initial appointment would entail, and what the costs would be. She told me about a couple of other patients who'd come in recently with severe anxiety, and how they'd been helped. Then she offered to see me a week Thursday.

All in all, it was a very positive experience. She didn't even laugh when it must've been obvious that my voice was shaking just from talking to her.

The next ten days are going to be quite unpleasant, I'm afraid. Right now I'm caught in between dreading it and wanting to hurry up and get it over with.

Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you for the support. I don't think I could've made the appointment without having this opportunity to vent my fears, and get messages of encouragement back. Sincerely, thank you.