My teeth are bringing me to tears

[carole]

Hi Rock Chick I understand your fear and panic, but the pain and stress you have at the moment is much, much, much worse than getting treatment.

A few years ago I had a tooth removed and I got dry socket I also got an infection in the extraction site, it is painful but it is not more painful than I imagine you are in at the moment. The cure for the dry socket was to go back to the dentist and he gave me some antibiotics, after I had taken 4 or 5 doses I was feeling some relief, so as painful as a dry socket can be, I have had worse, I had an abscess for a long time and a lot of pain from that, and that was much worse. I'm not saying it is nothing, but you do get through it.

I always say to my dentists that my imagination is so bad that they cannot possibly inflict on me the things I imagine could happen.

From what I understand antibiotics don't totally cure infections without further treatment from a dentist, they settle things down to allow them to be able to get you numb to give you the treatment you need. I would ring for and emergency appointment today, don't put it off until tomorrow.

It is such a physical and mental relief you feel so much lighter and you feel like you are walking on air, once you make a positive move to getting help, then getting the help.

I wish you well in getting your mouth sorted out, and hope it is soon for you. The baby steps approach is just something to try everyone has their own pace, some are better getting things done quicker, some need to take their time, you know how you need to do this for yourself, you are your own best judge.

 

[Carys]

I know people say baby steps & that's true but in my case the pain and then the further worry it creates is getting too depressing & stressful. I guess I need to skip a few baby steps this time because of the way it's ruining my life.

It works for some people, but others can do bigger leaps more easily. Different approaches for different situations and different people. You are right, this pain and misery can't go on as it is, please don't let it, as it must be affecting every moment of your life. You are certainly making yourself more unhappy and more unwell now, with the fear and anxiety, than you ever will with a dental visit. The irony is that dental procedures are pain free, but you are having constant unbearable pain all the time. I really hope you manage to get in to see someone today, as once the initial steps are taken you will feel so much better.

 

[Rock Chick]

Well I am totally going tomorrow, no putting it off or making excuses, I wanted so badly to put it off till I could go to the local 1, the possible waiting for hours in a place I barely know is something I'm dreading. I'm crap at having patience, especially when stressed and I'll be alone so I need to find something to do to stop myself allowing my nerves to run away with me. I listen to music, even just walking around the area and back, what I did last time, makes me feel better than staying in a room for hours on end (since they make an actual appointment you can go and come back).

Sadly I can't do too much in terms of medication for my nerves, I take Xanax but sadly I have become addicted to it over the years and it doesn't calm me down nearly as much as it used to, still helps to take the edge off though, even though I'm addicted I still feel I need it these days for my nerves, not just for an addiction.

One thing that worried me last time was getting treatment if I do get dry socket, getting down there in so much pain and waiting all over again just for relief, plus needing to pay again, they charge just for going, not much but I'm on disability so it adds up.

Really I just need to get myself to accept that yes getting dry socket or an infection is possible but unlikely, checking my socket so many times a day and freaking out about it when it hasn't even happened is pointless & just makes me upset. This is the rational part of me speaking, it's the fear part that needs to be beaten, I guess just doing what needs to be done is a key step in getting over it.

I agree finding a dentist you like and trust is very important, sadly I'm not mostly in a situation to get that with my limited options, more just take what I can get. However I am hopeful about the dental students!

Anyway I'll post back after I've gotten the tooth removed, can't say I wont still be worrying but at least I'll be able to say I did it.

I'm considering starting a journal here since I discovered them, might help me to see how I am making progress even when I feel I'm not, love the option of you guys have of that here btw!

 

[Rock Chick]

Hey rock chick,

First things first....a BIGGGGGG HUGGGGGG from me you poor thing.

My situation FEAR wise is the same as yours. I have health anxiety.. fear of medication and effects of medication. What would happen to me after the extraction...during the extraction ....infections after dry socket MASSIVE fear and im a smoker.

I had my tooth out 6 days ago.....i put it off for 2 years.....i went through the pain, the panic attacks every day and night...the horrendous thoughts of all the awful things i was CONVINCED would happen to be before during and after. I spiralled into a horrible depression I thought it was a hopeless situation I no longer enjoyed life and I could see no future.... Morning noon and night all i could think about was THIS BLOODY TOOTH and all the horrible things i was convinced would happen to me.

I found the most wonderful patient and understanding dentist after seeing so many.... thats the first thing that you need to find ..... i explained all my fears in detail....by email first and then through them again went I first went there.I had all my rescue remedys with me and a blanket and my ipod my panic atttack book, lucky crystals you name it lol !

It was so quick I so cant tell you....yes I had panic attacks, yes I had the anxiety, yes I had all the dark, paranoid thoughts associated with all the terrible things that was going to happen to me but let me tell you now THEY ARE EXACTLY THAT JUST HORRIBLE THOUGHTS. I thought if i thought it then must must mean it will happen. Well it doesnt and it didnt. It was unpleaseant yes but nothing bad happened. I too was petrified about dry socket....I am by no means saying you should do this but I had a cigarette straight after and was having a few a day in the days after but just put a bit of gauze in to cover the hole each time i had one and only sucked on very slighty but I would say if you can manage on the patch please do because It made my thoughts about dry socket so much worse. So ive been checking it 50 times a day in the mirror but its fine and I am fine and its healing fine.

You too will be fineeeeee......I am starting to feel happier and I feel like I am getting my life back again and I so want you to feel like i do now.....I promise you I understand EXACTLY how you are feeling but just try your hardest to get there and get it done and all this will lift from you I promise. Feel free to pm me you can even have my phone number if you want to talk or email....

Laura xxxx

Laura you're story really reminded me of how I feel, even though I'm really sorry you're going through all this crap, I'm glad to find someone who has similar fears to myself. I know the feeling of worrying and then having things turn out fine, that's what happened last time, I ended up having useless panic attacks for nothing!

I suppose since it was the day after my previous extraction that my whole HA came back so much I have hugely associated such dental work with having panic attacks, etc. Even though it wasn't really it felt like a traumatic experience, I know it was just the final straw that broke the camels back and not the whole cause but getting my mind around it is another thing all together.

Glad to hear your socket is healing fine & your fears were unfounded!

 

[Rock Chick]

Well today was scary but not what I expected but I went and had work done!

A dental student asked if I'd agree to be treated by her, I was so nervous anyway, I really didn't care too much. She was not trying to rush me, never made me feel bad about the state of my teeth but mentioned I'd need work done (as I expected anyway). Then we I explained the issue with the tooth and how many teeth were giving me problems she didn't seem dismissive, I knew she could have only do work on 1 tooth but I liked her attitude.

Then come tests I have had before but wasn't used to, the tapping, no big deal, then the dreaded coldness test was done on 3 of my teeth, I cried out each time *shudder*. Finally an x-ray of at least the problem tooth. Anyway I was really freaked out still and I did tell her about my anxiety early on, she was kind about it.

Finally she said there was a good chance the tooth could be saved by major filling work, however if it didn't the other options were a root canal or extraction. I was somewhat skeptical, I mean it was missing a part and was in pain everyday, sometimes just by me breathing. I asked didn't x-rays show whether decay has reached the pulp. She said sometimes it doesn't, made me feel a little worried about x-ray results after that. Anyway I told her about why I was a bit anxious about a filling because of a previous stuff up. Anyway considering she took a bunch of tests and said there was a good chance the filling would work I had more confidence in comparison to the other fool who gave me 1.

My gum bled a bit, she explained it was because of how close the issue was to the gum line, then I needed a top up of LA after I needed the work to stop shortly after the drilling began because it wasn't numb enough. Otherwise it seemed to go fine.

The numbness hasn't worn off and considering the amount of work I'm fully expecting a certain amount of pain for at least a few days. Still there's some paranoia still in my head, what if it doesn't work and even makes it worse? I guess the last stuff up made me even a bit wary of fillings. I also occasionally have a crazy idea that maybe, somehow there is an infection that was missed or the work done will cause 1, this is where my HA kicks in.

So, I still am terrified of extractions but will very likely be having 1 next week, so I guess I'll just need to face that when it comes.

Also still worried quite a bit about 1 other tooth but it only hurts occasionally despite there being a bit missing but I'm at a bit of a loss as to how to go about treating it. The next dentist I see is very likely the 1 who made my other tooth worse, so I'm almost too freaked out to let him do work on it similar to what I had done today but I don't want to extract a tooth that can be saved by filling.

 

[Rock Chick]

Okay a bit of an update of how my mouth is going.
Well the tooth hurts a bit occasionally but I expected that, however part of my lip is sore and tender, plus part of my upper right jaw is now sore & opening my mouth past a certain point causes it to hurt. It's strange because this hasn't happened before that I can remember. It's not that bad but it does suck a bit.

Wont know until a few more days if the filling worked, just need to wait and see if the pain goes away or not.

 

[Rock Chick]

It's now less than an hour before I leave to have a tooth removed, terrified and more terrified of how I'll be afterwards for days with this obsessional worry. I'm not trying to be a downer but getting it done seems like a small step, it's moving beyond the fear of something going wrong afterward.

You see I know dentists need to tell you about precautions & potential problems but so many times it seems so casual & to a really anxious person as most of you know it doesn't help, I wont be eating anything today. I'm getting away from this site for now because I'm just so upset & scared.

 

[Rock Chick]

Not again! A tooth that has been playing up a bit & has a part missing has gotten worse, enough for me despite being scared to go for yet another emergency appointment tomorrow to have something done about it. This is so depressing & stressful since it'll only have been 2 weeks tomorrow since I had another tooth removed. Also it's on the other side of my mouth to the 1 I had recently removed & since that extraction site whilst seems to be healing alright hasn't closed up yet I'm still not eating on that side, however if I need to have this 1 removed then I don't feel I'll be able to eat on either side for I have no idea how long! I am hoping a lot a filling will be enough & they'll be able to do it but I'm bracing myself for a removal so I don't get more freaked out if that needs to be done.

Also an update on the dental student situation. She called me today to make my first appointment, it's for May 11th, it sucks because it's really early in the morning, the place is so far away & I need to get there by public transport but I'll just push myself. I was even a bit nervous just talking to her on the phone, I am generally now nervous about talking to dental places & dentists even on the phone these days. So the work will be getting done sooner than I had thought it seems but I still need to try & stop stressing about it.

 

[carole]

It is better sooner than later, and the earlier the better, I know it can be a bit difficult getting places early when using public transport. It gives you less time to stress, and the sooner you will be out of pain. I always groan as you have when it is early or sooner, but then I just think thank goodness, I have less time to get myself all worked up over things, which makes things much worse.

Good luck.

 

[Carys]

Hope things go ok at your emergency appointment today Rockchick. I suspect that you won't read this until you get back, so you can change my question to the past tense if that is the case. I had not realised that you had already have one extraction done, that is a MAJOR achievement considering how you were feeling prior to having it done. Don't be too despondent about the fact that another tooth is playing up, as I think, for people who have major fears at the dentist, it seems to be that everything comes to a head in one go. All the teeth you have left without treatment reach a similar point at a similar time. I know that was the case for me; so when I went in I needed a root canal and an extraction and a few other minor things attended to. I had one or two appointments a week for a couple of months. Once you are past this more active stage of treatment you will find things will settle into a pattern that is easier to manage.

 

[Rock Chick]

Thanks for the encouragement. I didn't go today, I was trying to get an appointment for tomorrow, that way I felt I could at least bring myself to make the appointment in the first place, however I'll need to wait awhile, until Thursday it seems. It's not at all what I expected as this place is known for getting people in the same day so that's a long wait when it comes to them, I suspect I was considered low priority, I didn't explain very well the situation like I normally would because just speaking to the receptionist put me on edge. For now gladly it isn't as bad as yesterday so perhaps I can wait until Thursday, if it does get worse I'll push myself to go in person & try & get them to make me a higher priority, or another phone call at the least if that seems too much.

Yes, that's the case with my teeth, many seem to be playing up at once, another 1 started playing up worse today but still not really bad, it's like most of my teeth play up at some point every day, it's very overwhelming & as you'd understand it's not easy to take my mind off my teeth when they hurt.

I feel 2 different ways about seeing the dental student next month, both relieved & scared. Relieved I'll finally be able to get things sorted out sooner as well as having things like cleanings done, etc. Scared because it still involves somebody working on me & having the work done, you know the feeling of what if they aren't good enough, what if they simply find me too difficult due to my anxiety & I have not many options if things don't work out with them. I know I'm getting way ahead of myself, it's just the usual annoying stuff that runs through my mind. Also I'm embarrassed I'll come across as such a wimp & perhaps even nutty! I imagine many phobics might feel that way to some degree.

I'm the type of person who puts on a front at the dentist most of time & pretends I'm fine when I'm not, I remember I had a cleaning done, the dentist was nice enough & told me I could stop anytime if it was too much, it was but I couldn't bring myself to admit it, so endured it with no break so I wouldn't appear weak. I really need to work on that.

 

[Rock Chick]

I'm just so confused as to what to say on Thursday. It seemed do clear back when I made the appointment, however that tooth has now calmed down to only being slightly annoying every now & then, now if that was the only tooth I was worried about for now it would be a simple matter of cancelling & waiting until I see the dental student since that's not too far away. The thing is there's various teeth that have issues and varying degrees of pain, they seem to usually take turns at what 1 plays up mostly at a time, so what do I say on Thursday? If it were a general appointment I could easily explain the situation & have more than 1 looked at & assessed but alas this is an emergency appointment so it's a time constricted thing where they simply only take it a tooth per session.

I could mention the actual issue I'm facing but that would complicate things, it's quite possible I could end up having a bunch of tests done & simply be told to come back because they are out of time. There would be little point in even coming back since I am already going to start seeing the dental student on the 11th and this is at the same place. It would also cause me more anxiety & money as the dental student is free. Not getting work done due to time issues has happened once before there so I know it's a possibility

If I get down to it there are 2 teeth that are causing the most issues currently & I am aware 1 of them needs to come out as a filling done a little while back has failed, however unless it gets real bad I'm not sure I can handle knowing I'll be getting another extraction so soon on the other side of mouth. The other tooth only started playing up after I fooled around a bit with it a little while ago, was hoping I'd just irritated it slightly & it'd go back to how it was before but that hasn't happened. So maybe that helps me to consider it to be the 1 I concentrate on. I just am still unsure because the flare ups are somewhat all over the place. Also I'm very embarrassed about needing to mention what I did that started it to play up. On top of that I'm still concerned that perhaps I should concentrate on the tooth I made the appointment for as it's not even all there anymore & has just been getting worse.

I know it's up to me to make the choice, it's just feeling like I'm stuck between a rock & a hard place that is getting to me. I really want to work this out before I turn up as I'll be so nervous once I'm there I possibly wont be as clear as I want to be unless I have a good idea of what I want to say beforehand.

 

[bisja]

oh I wish you all the best with your appointment , I think you are doing great!

 

[Carys]

Hiyer, I read through your post twice, and I can see why you are confused. There are a lot of issues muddling things up aren't there, as you have niggles and pain here there and everywhere. The trouble is you don't, as you indicate, have a comprehensive treatment plan yet....so don't really know where you are heading and in what order. As 11 th is relatively close by, could you wait and see if your tooth settles, if it does then you could cancel this emergency appointment and stick with your dental hospital, who I presume you will be continuing with for all your treatment. Even if you did cancel this emergency appointment, you could always make it again before 11 th if you have problems again ? Any chance the dental school could fit you in sooner if you explained you have reached a crisis point ?

 

[Rock Chick]

I considered that Carys, however felt it would chickening out but when you think about it it really wouldn't be.
However I remembered last night that I am still very anxious about the tooth I originally made the appointment for because of the missing part, it's just so easy for decay and bacteria to possibly get in there and quickly cause issues, it has already gotten painful so I might as well face my fear sooner rather than let my anxiety over it stick around (that's the rational part, the irrational is even freaking out about a treatment plan). If at the least I could get some reassurance it would likely be alright for a bit longer if they don't even do any work due to time issues it would be a relief because this has tooth has been hassling me for over a month now, previous dentists either ignored me talking about it or the previous time was told I needed to get my gum disease under control before I could get a filling for it, now part of me is freaking out they'll say the same thing tomorrow despite having done what I'm supposed to to reduce the gum issue but I could try & get them to look at the other problem tooth I mentioned in that case. Honestly I feel so fed up with myself because I'm scared to go to the dentist but scared of things getting worse if I don't, general tooth pain doesn't freak me out as much having part of my tooth exposed.

No way I could get seen sooner than the 11th, the original was for the 22nd however she fitted me in earlier of her own accord. Also I have no idea afterward when the work will get done since the first visit will be the usual consultation to prepare a treatment plan, I've also heard dentist prefer to do things like cleanings before other work unless there's a reason not to. As for getting an emergency appointment if I needed 1 before the 11th it doesn't seem likely as it I needed to wait almost a week to get this 1

 

[Carys]

Then it sounds like you had made the decision, really. Go and get this one that really worries you (that caused pain but has died down) looked at. Lets be honest, it could flare up at any time and it is just luck that it isn't painful now.

 

[Rock Chick]

Us phobics can come up with a billion excuses not to see the dentist so I realise this is going to seem maybe lame but it's why I cancelled. It's raining, great public transport with that, no matter, I'm having breakthrough bleeding and I'm having pain, this sucks but I can handle it, I'm a stressed out wreck, I will just push on. So I look for the train info and bloody hell the trains aren't running from where I get on, instead they have bus services part of the way because of issues, I freaked out, it was like the straw the broke the camels back in my struggle to go. See, it takes way longer and there's delay issues as well as my panic issues with overcrowded buses and they are almost always like that when replacing trains, I just got angry and then cancelled. The truth is though if the trains were running properly I'd have pushed myself, I'm somewhat claustrophobic and have issues standing on things like public transport for long periods so the possibility of needing to stand for all that time on a bus, feeling I could possibly barely move was horrible.

The truth is I could have went if I had forced myself to overcome all of that, if I'd been desperate I would have, I guess I'm not and of course knowing I was seeing someone in just over a week helped me feel I was not simply giving up. One other thing, I felt kinda like I might feel trapped into having work done I wasn't ready for, I realise you can choose not to, however by then I've already paid and with money being what it is I would feel so stressed to feel I had not wasted it. This shouldn't be an issue with the dental student since they are free, I will feel much less pressure in regards to that. If a tooth does get really bad I will try and get back in earlier obviously but for now I feel I can handle it, I don't mind saying I really feel not having a car sucks!

 

[Carys]

Do you know, that makes sense. I understand your reasoning on it. Umm, what is 'breakthrough bleeding' ?

 

[Rock Chick]

Umm, what is 'breakthrough bleeding' ?

When you get period like bleeding when you aren't having your period, more common for people using medical contraception. I have the Implanon implant because I get heavy and painful periods normally and it generally stops them altogether, the downside for me is I tend to get unexpected breakthrough bleeding every now and then. Hope that wasn't tmi.

Tbh it's been happening more often than usual this year so I'm considering whether to have it removed.

 

[Carys]

Oh flip, I'm really sorry to have made you explain all that, I know what THAT breakthrough bleeding is ! I thought it was something to do with teeth and had never heard of it in the context.