New Here...absolutely terrified!

[Sunshine73]

Hi all! I just found this forum tonight and I want to say that I just think it's great that there's a place like this. I was beginning to think that I was alone in my extreme dental phobia and it's wonderful that there's a place to come for support and to see that it is possible to 'deal' with our phobias and get the necessary dental work done.

So, on to my phobias...

When I was a young kid (until around the age of 13 or so), I had very good dental experiences. One or two very minor fillings that had been so superficial that they didn't even require any numbing to fill. Also, when I had those fillings, I had the most awesome, sensitive dentist you can imagine...going to the dentist was no big deal.

Then, the financial fortunes of my family changed and dentistry was one of the things that got pushed to the backburner because we couldn't afford it. I suffered with impacted wisdom teeth for years before my mom finally got me into the dentist to get them extracted. I was put under a GA to perform the surgery to remove all four of my impacted wisdom teeth. Unfortunately, halfway through the surgery I woke up. Turns out that my vein had collapsed, cutting off the supply of anesthetic. Despite this, the dentist continued the surgery (I felt him sew up the second tooth and completely felt the cutting, extraction and stitching of the remaining two) using novacaine and possibly some nitrous oxide (I'm not sure about that because I was quite distraught and in quite a bit of pain). It was horrible and it made me terrified to go back to the dentist.

Eventually, I developed a cavity in one of my back teeth and by the time I noticed it, most of the tooth had been broken off. So, I decided to brave the dentist once again. He gave me the option of having the tooth saved (root canal/crown type thing) or having it pulled. I chose to have it pulled because I simply couldn't afford to have the extensive restoritive procedures done. He assured me that pulling it would be 'no big deal'.  Turns out he was wrong.   First, he couldn't get me numb. He kept giving me more and more novacaine but I just wasn't getting numb. I was anxious, so tense I felt like I was going to snap and so cold that I couldn't stop shivering. Finally, he became convinced that I must be numb and that I was just too nervous, so he decided to go ahead and pull it. Well, I wasn't numb and the tooth wouldn't come out. He pulled and pulled. I lay in the chair, tears streaming down my face as he struggled with that tooth. He finally realized that I was in pain, the tooth was half in and half out. He tried giving me a shot directly in the tooth (OUCH!) to no avail. Eventually, after nearly 45 minutes, he was forced to surgically remove the tooth because it just wouldn't come out any other way.

After that, my dental phobia was pretty well entrenched. Just the thought of going to the dentist was enough to send me into a panic attack. In my early 20's I became extremely ill and the combination of illness and the medications used to treat me took a toll on my dental health. I had a mouth full of cavities so I decided to brave the dentist once more. That's when I discovered that my dental anxiety had surpassed any normal comprehension. I would shiver and shake in the waiting room and when I finally got back to the examining room, I would be in tears before the dentist ever even touched my teeth. I can't seem to get numb no matter how much novacaine they use (although an hour or so after I leave the dentist's office, my entire face will go completely numb...it's like a delayed reaction or something).

So, that brings me to today. It's been almost 10 years since I've been to the dentist. Depsite brushing three times a day and really trying to take care of my teeth, they're a complete mess. I've had fillings fall out, a couple of teeth have broken off, there's serious visible decay in most of my teeth at the gumline. I know that I need to get something done about it. Luckily, I'm not in pain most of the time, but visually, it's horrible. My breath is nasty and I just want to be able to smile without covering my mouth with my hand. I want to be able to have a close conversation with someone without worrying about my breath.

For years, I've been able to come up with one excuse after another. Mostly it was money...it was a good excuse, we didn't have the money to pay for my dental care. Now, though, my DH has a decent job with fairly good dental insurance. Of course, the dental insurance had a waiting period of 1 year for any major work. Whew...a reprieve. I had an entire year to wait before I had to worry about actually seeing the dentist. Well, that year is up this month. My excuses have run out and I have to admit that I'm just terrified and that's the bottom line.  

I admitted my fear to my DH, who is completely supportive and tries to understand my phobia. He has said that he will go with me to the dentist, he will be in the room (but I'm afraid they won't let him). He's even said that he will talk to the dentist for me, explain my phobia so I won't have to worry about being embarrassed and explaining it myself. I   my DH.

Anyway, I have to call and make an appointment within the next few days and I'm terrified, embarrassed and I just don't know what to do.

 

[Nat]

Hi Sunshine  

I am so sorry to hear about your terrifying experiences but you have come to the right place, we are a friendly bunch who will try and help you in every way possible!  

Its great that you have a supportive husband and you have made the first steps by coming here, talking about your fears and acknowledging that you now need to see a dentist so you should feel proud of yourself for doing that.

The anxiety levels in our bodies can explain the reason for you not getting numb, when we are anxious the anesthetic doesnt seem to work which will also explain the reason you tend to get numb after you have seen a dentist? Sedation may be an option for you as when you are totally relaxed (which sedation should do for you) the local will be much more succesful in getting you numb so maybe a bit of research into dentists in your area that actually do this could be beneficial to you. I was sedated with IV for my treatment as the dentist didnt want to do any work with me just using a local as I was that scared, I would also sit in the waiting room shaking and sweating and nine times out of ten I would cry when my name was called but my dentist was great with me, he totally understood my fears would advise me on herbal remedies to take before my sedation appointments and was always on the other end of the phone for me when I needed him for reassurance. I remember my first appointment with him after I visited a not so great dentist, I was reffered to him by our local authorites and he wanted to help me so along I went, nerves and all, took a list of everything that scared me about dental work and sat down waiting for him to call me, I knew I would break down as soon as I sat in the treatment room and I did, he was fantastic, took me out of the room and sat me down in the staff room so as I was out of the environment that scared me so much. I gave him my list and he told me that everything on that list he understood as he has seen some bad dental work in the past and completely understands why people become phobic. I have now finished my treatment and only need to attend for my 6 month check ups and couldnt have done it without him and his fantastic staff, even the receptionist treated me with kid gloves and would always make sure I was OK. I found out that the help, care and trust in a good dentist really does make all the difference, I even sent him a card saying how thankfull I was, now if you had said to me 9 months ago that I would be thanking a dentist I would have laughed but I did!!


Do you actually have a dentist at the moment? If not You could  email a couple of dentists so that you can get a feel for the dental staff without actually having to speak or see them. I have seen a lot of stories on here when people email, start a dialogue explaining how frightened they are and they report a great success this way. It may take time finding that right person you trust but believe me its worth it in the end! I avoided dental treatment for many years and my teeth suffered for it, I had 4 extractions, numerous fillings, a root canal, 2 crowns and a deep clean but all this was done pain free with me having little memory of the procedure as I was sedated. I was embarrased to smile before, would always cover my mouth when I laughed or smiled and hated it when people would look towards my mouth but now I can smile, laugh and even my husband says I look like a much happier person, only downside to all of this was when I had my teeth problems I barely ate a lot and the weight came off but now I can eat properly I can see it creeping back up again!

I wish you the best in finding the right dentist for you but with the help and support you will get from your husband and of course this little bunch of lovely people! You will do it! If you need any advice or just want to rant and rave then please feel free, thats why this forum is so great, no one judges you or makes you feel ashamed and you can vent as much as you want!    

 

[brit]

I admitted my fear to my DH, who is completely supportive and tries to understand my phobia. He has said that he will go with me to the dentist, he will be in the room (but I'm afraid they won't let him). He's even said that he will talk to the dentist for me, explain my phobia so I won't have to worry about being embarrassed and explaining it myself. I my DH.

Hello, Nat's given you some good advice there....I just wanted to add that if they won't let your partner stay with you, then they are not the right dentist for you, pure and simple! You ask this as part of your selection criteria. You are in charge here, even if you have not been in the past.

If its easier for you, by all means let your husband do the talking on the phone....but you could do internet research in advance to identify practices you like the sound/look of. Based on your previous problems with getting numb, i/v sedation does sound like a good option for you....but even just nitrous or oral sedation (least predictable option) could get you relaxed enough for local to work properly.

Don't suppose your childhood dentist is still practising anywhere?
Good luck

 

[Sunshine73]

Thanks so much for your kind words of support. I haven't been able to get myself to actually dial the phone yet, but I think I may do so today or tomorrow. Unfortunately, the dentists in my area don't have websites that I can visit or e-mail addresses that I can readily access so I'm going to have to bite the bullet and make the call. However, I have spoken with a very good friend of mine and confided in her regarding my dental phobia and she highly recommended her dentist and since he's on my insurance plan, I think he's the first one I'm going to call. Now, I just have to work up the courage to do it.

It's amazing how easy it is for me to find reasons not to make the call. Last night I was firm and told myself that today was the day. Today I was going to call that dentist's office and make an appointment, no more putting it off. Then, this morning, I got to the office and started thinking, "but if I call today, then I'll be going through my treatments during the holiday season...and who wants to spend the holiday season getting dental work done? So, I'll just put it off until the first of the year." It's like I'm trying to come up with rational explanations for avoiding the dentist rather than just dealing with the fact that I'm afraid...I'm such an idiot!

 

[skunk-toad]

Go for it today Sunshine.  

I have been putting it off for 12 years now, and after sending 3 emails (they all failed and were undelivered I was well gutted) I wrote a letter explaining the severity of my phobia, and as we currently speak the letter is on route to my new dentist (hopefully)  

I know I will crap my pants if my phone rings with an unknown number , but I have explained I would rather he contacted me through email at first (just till I gather some courage).

Its really strange, but I think I realise they can help me overcome my fear by being really gentle with me, Im actually now looking forward to having a healthier smile (god I never thought I would say that).

Dont put it off any longer, I think I lost about 6 ibs in weight last week for worrying.

Keep us posted on how you get on

j x  

 

[brit]

Go for it! Personal recommendations are usually best anyway, particularly if she really likes her dentist and doesn't just consider them 'okay, I suppose'.

Look at it as a holiday present to yourself rather than as something to put off until New Year.

 

[melodyl]

Hi. First of all, I'd like to send Hugs and Fuzzies your way.

You are one heck of a brave person to have been though all what you went through and still went back to a dentist. I commend you like you wouldn't believe.

You probably sufered from Post Traumautic stress after you woke up during the extraction of your wisdom teeth. I mean, for god's sake, how could you not??

Then you go and have a tooth pulled and you are not numb and he's pulling it anyway?

jeez. I really commend you for pursuing good dental health.

All I can tell you is that you absolutely must tell your new dentist exactly what happened to you. He MUST know about your experiences (about you being hard to numb).

Thankfully dentists today know much more than they knew years ago. They have various numbing agents and different numbing techniques.

I doubt today there will be a dentist you will touch you unless he is sure that you are totally numb.

If it were me, I would find an iv sedation guy and opt to be put out completely. I mean, you went through the ringer, didn't you.

Maybe someone you know can recommend this kind of guy. Or if you are up for it, and you seem to be able to be awake in a chair, try and do an e-mail dialogue (listing absolutely every single thing that happened to you).

I bet you'll find a dentist who will be so concerned about what you went through, he will bend over backwards to show you how good dental care is.

Please, know that you are the bravest person I ever read about. I commend you.

Please keep us updated.

Melody