new here, and bloody scared for friday Aug 24th!

[gapmouthgirl]

hey all, new member here. ready to read a long story? i don't do 'cliff notes' versions too well, lol.

to be honest, i don't know exactly where my fear of the dentist is seated. i remember going to the dentist as a kid, but i don't remember any specific pain or hardship brought to me by my childhood dentist, i just remember not liking to go. i always had checkups as a kid, and am still sporting one of my lovely amalgam fillings from back then, the last of many, barely holding on to a tooth that is crumbling underneath it.

flash forward to just before i hit junior high (middle school for those not familiar with the Canadian school system) when my parents divorced, and my mom moved out, my dad either couldn't afford dental care or didn't think of it being a priority. back in grade 7 was when my first molar started chipping away. then another, then another. by the end of junior high school, i had a few teeth that were pretty far damaged. amazingly, no pain from any of them during the whole decay process. throughout high school these few molars crumbled away further. still no pain from them at all. ended up with a large abscess third tooth from the back on the right that i drained daily by poking it with a pin. cleared up on its own after several months, still not sure how.

flash forward to when i was 19, a couple years out of high school (not that i finished high school but that's a story for another day). my two front top teeth start to deteriorate around the outside edges, along with a bit of one tooth to the side of them. no pain, just sensitivity to cold things. no dental coverage, no insurance, and still living with my dad. because of his finances and/or unimportant mindset of the dentist, i continue to go without any fixing. i never said anything to him about my teeth, but i'm sure he could see the front damage. there was a point where we figured that it was cheaper to eat at taco bell twice a day than it was to buy proper groceries......... yeah, money was tight most of the time, and the extra burden of dental bills i thought for sure would bring him stress, so i said nothing about my teeth.

flash forward another year, i'm just turning 20 and i'm involved with and living with a guy and a group of 'friends' that are into meth, ecstasy, etc. yeah, not my finest years, but i'm proud to say that i no longer am being held by the hands of those stupid evil drugs. during that time i had noticed the crumbling molars slowly ejecting themselves from my jaw, bit by bit, until just a portion of root remained. thank goodness my wisdom teeth came in straight and didn't cause any major issue - besides two of them starting to crumble over the years.

ended up homeless for the better part of a year and a half (did i mention those drugs were stupid and evil??). always carried a toothbrush in my pocket, but rarely had anywhere that i could effectively and privately brush my teeth. no money for toothpaste. continued to watch a number of my molars crumble out of my mouth, along with those top incisors deteriorating more, to the point where i was nearing having only the inner halves of my top front teeth.

came back to my dad's house in spring of 2003. money is once again tight, and i'm getting back on my feet after the streets and back to a normal life. got a job, reconnected with a previous boyfriend, got pregnant, broke up with said boyfriend, moved out with a roommate at the end of that year. still no money for dental work, nor any benefits through my job. also worried about dental work during pregnancy. molars still crumbling, front top incisors still chipped up and rotting.

flash forward to 2005. i'm about to go back to school to get myself in a better position to care for my now 1 year old daughter. simply cannot be training to be a medical admin with horrid teeth. how can you smile at a patient and say everything is going to be ok with a rotten mouth?? find out there's a local dentist that does a free dental day each year, and go line up early that day, with much trepidation (still don't know where the fear is coming from!). dentist took pity on me, and fixed all three rotten areas on my front top teeth, even though their free day budget is supposed to cover one filling, one cleaning, or one extraction only. the back of my mouth is still horrible, but i told them i wanted the visible teeth fixed, and i would worry about the others later....... much later. this was my first dentist visit since elementary school, and i was shaking like a dang leaf in that chair! had to get up out of the chair for a bit after they gave me the LA, i was panicky and sweating so much. but they fixed up my front teeth pretty nice once i worked up the nerve to sit back down. i cried after! tears of joy. i could open my mouth and talk properly. i could smile again. but i still feared the dentist for some unknown reason. no pain resulted from this visit.

flash forward to 2009. upper right side of my mouth is in incredible pain. another top right molar has broken, and this one hurts! get up the nerve to go to the dentist. i have benefits through my job this time, yay, but only a portion of the cost is covered, i get the bill for the rest. so i opt for extraction, it is cheapest for a single mom. first time in the chair in 4 years and i'm shaking like crazy again. headphones turned up on full volume help to keep me from hearing the worst of the noise, but the feeling of having the tooth pulled is the worst, even if it is without pain due to a double LA shot. i swear to myself i never want to have to go through that again......... until a couple days later and i discover that removal of that tooth shifted pressure away from another tooth nearby that was also cracked along the whole length. once again, extraction is cheapest. back to the chair i go. this tooth is two teeth ahead of the one i just had pulled, and the talk of this one possibly puncturing my sinus when they pull it just freaks the heck out of me. but the pain is intolerable, so i say do it. freeze me twice, then do it. still not sure how i got through those two visits without completely losing it and freaking out. sockets healed fine, but now if i smile too wide, the more forward of the two gaps is very visible

and now to present day. three of my molars (bottom, both sides, and top left) have completely come out of my mouth on their own due to decay. bottom left actually has a teensy bit of one root left there. my prior work on my front teeth needs fixed up, i can feel a rough edge that is likely to break soon, and the line between real tooth and filling is quite visible. the middle of my two top front teeth is starting to decay. my wisdom teeth on my left are crumbled down to the gum line, infected, and need removed - no point in saving them, eh? the molar ahead of my wisdom tooth, top left, has a big chunk out of it - no pain from that one thank goodness, the wisdom teeth are excruciating enough - double dosing tylenol and ibuprofen and coating the back end of my left jaws with orajel multiple times a day for at least a week..........

so i worked up the nerve to get a consult at the same dentist that pulled the two teeth in 2009. we do a panoramic x-ray (i must say i didn't mind this one bit, kinda neat to have the machine whir around your head, lol). this is how i found out those three rotted out molars are completely gone - no roots at all on the x-ray. other teeth on the right (my chewing side, lol) are showing early signs of decay, and a couple have small cavities that are fortunately not causing any trouble...... yet. the left side of my mouth is a disaster though.

so to make a long (jeepers, was it ever long, sorry!) story short, i've got an appointment this friday to have the two left wisdom teeth pulled, and the top molar ahead of the left wisdom tooth. i've opted for the conscious sedation, as i remember the horrid queasy feeling i got when the other two teeth got pulled in '09. i don't want to be fully aware and awake for three teeth to get pulled, especially two being wisdoms. the molar ahead may be saveable, but my boss is paying for the extractions and my mom is paying for the iv sedation. i barely have two nickels to rub between my thumbs at the end of every month, and no real benefits at work, just a reimbursement program that kicks in AFTER you pay in full for treatment. with no money up front for payment, it's a tad tough to get into the chair when the only dentist i barely trust doesn't accept payment plans, wants it all paid that day.

i'm scared! not sure exactly what i'm scared of - the noises, the smells, the feeling of having teeth pulled out of my head again, the fear of the pain during recovery...... i guess it's a combination of it all. plus the sedation, i've never been put under any anesthetic in my life. losing that control kind of scares me, but i think i'm going to do better with being sedated than if i was fully awake. i don't like the loss of control aspect, but i do like the idea that i won't remember, due to the amnesia portion of the sedation.

thank you so much for reading my long-winded post. i don't even know if i'm looking for advice on how to get through this, or just needing to see it all laid out in black and white text to help me come to terms with it. i'm not entirely happy about adding three more spaces where teeth would/should have been, but what is there now cannot really be called teeth anymore anyway. after friday, i will have a total of 1/4 of my mouth that used to be teeth, just empty holes and eroding jaw bone. would love to have implants, but that is WAY above my budget, even for the next 10 years i'm sure. maybe i can scrape together enough money to get my front teeth fixed up again, but income/budget/expenses dictates that that fixing 'might' happen 6 months down the road or longer. sometimes i wonder if it would just be easier to get all my teeth pulled while under GA, and go the denture route? my mom didn't have any of her teeth any more by the age of 20. i'm in my early 30's.

phew, fingers are tired of typing now. just happy i found a place where i can finally share my gap toothed rotten mouth story without fear of being chastised or embarrassed, and share my unknown fear of the dentist. even when having a chuckle with my best friend of many years, i cover my mouth when i laugh

 

[carole]

Hi gapmouthgirl to the forum and thank you for taking the time to tell us your story. I am not a dentist and have no knowledge of drugs of any kind be it prescription or the one's you took. How well have you done, we have all done things that are not so wise in our youth. You have got yourself off the drugs and got treatment over the years and now have a job and I am sure a lovely daughter as well.

We often fear the unknown and as you haven't had sedation before it makes sense to be nervous, also the fact of losing three more teeth is a scary thing. You know you will feel no pain while under the sedation. I haven't been sedated but I have had GA a lot of years ago, and I was fine, but that doesn't help you. There are plenty of people on here that have had sedation and I am sure they will be along to tell you how it feels.

I think you are a very strong and capable person and you will face this with the same determination you have faced other things in your life. You will be fine and I wish you GOOD LUCK

Best wishes to you and your daughter and thank you once again for sharing your story with us

 

[Kim]

Hello hun - and welcome.

I can only echo what Carole has said in relation to what you have been through in your past, and to come out of it the other side, and get your life in order, is amazing, so a very big to you on all of that

I thought I would just about the IV sedation, as I had it for eleven extractions three months ago. For me, and I have said this many a time, it is the best - I was given something to calm me down the night before and the morning of my extractions, and then went into the surgery and before I knew it, I felt a pinch where the needle went into my arm, and the next thing is, I am being given painkillers to take the 'edge' off of any discomfort, and on my way out of the surgery. The 'pain' wasn't unbearable, uncomfortable, but with the painkillers for a few days, just faded.

If the rest of your teeth are 'fixable' then go down that route, you are too young to have to consider dentures, despite the fact that your mum had them when she was very young. It may take a bit of time, patience, money and worry, but you will get there in the end, and have a bit of support from us along the way.

You take care, and keep us updated. And another huge to you.

 

[gapmouthgirl]

wow, realized how late i posted all that last night, and left a very important thing out.......

i spent 8 hours yesterday waiting to find out if my mom was going to be able to help me with the sedation cost. i knew i would NOT be getting in the chair on friday without the IV. most nerve wracking day for me in a long long while for sure.

and just spent an hour on the phone now, finding out that some doctor's offices charge up to $100 (yikes!) for filling out the pre-op paperwork/physical that i need before the iv sedation can happen. FINALLY found a doctor that doesn't charge for this, thank goodness!

i've had an easier time appealing government benefits than i have these past few days getting one dang dental appointment sorted out. no wonder we don't get in the chair when we really need to, eh?

 

[gapmouthgirl]

less than 48 hours to go.......... i'm still scared, but have been doing a lot of reading into this, the methods used, the drugs used for the sedation, possible complications (that should be scaring me more but oddly it hasn't - being prepared and knowing what could happen and the emergency procedures that are in place with knowledgeable staff calms me somehow??).

been reading all the success stories, and the horror stories as well. amazingly, the horror stories about recovery not going well don't scare me. is this the portion of dental phobia where i've come to accept it, but am still scared poopless? lol.

even got a copy of my panoramic xray emailed to me. been comparing it to xrays of healthy teeth, and saying to myself that i want my mouth to look like that one day, not what it looks like now.

without dental coverage, it's going to be a long long road. one tooth at a time. dentist says one other wisdom tooth should come out at a later date, but i may see what i can do to get it fixed instead, as i would really like to keep both wisdoms on the right side. after friday, i will have had 1/4 of my teeth gone, due to either extraction or deterioration over the years. i really don't want to have to lose any more.

i'm a nervous wreck, but oddly calm about all this. does that make any sense at all???

 

[carole]

I know what you mean, I spent weeks stressing and when an appointment came up one time I felt a really weird calm, it was like it wasn't me.

Good luck with your appointment don't worry about the healing, you will probably be fine.

 

[gapmouthgirl]

the jokes about blendered breakfast have already begun......... rofl! (humour - stage two of phobia acceptance? lol)

 

[gapmouthgirl]

i was here on the forum last night, reading some posts and just lurking about. starting shaking uncontrollably! omg...... took quite a while to calm back down.

less than 24 hours to go. i sure do hope the iv sedation is as good as people say!

 

[Kim]

It will be and you will be fine.

Take care.

Kim

 

[gapmouthgirl]

got home about almost an hour ago. iv sedation was so light, it's completely worn off already. jaw a little sore, but nothing T3's can't manage after the freezing wears off - my chin and tongue are numb but the rest feels normal. was awake the whole time and i remember everything from the chair, but it wasn't too bad. i was shaking pretty bad and after a bit i was calm. that's the only change in me i could decipher, the calmness. couple of times where i had to say 'ow' though - not sure if they froze me twice like i asked, or if it was just particularly difficult to get the upper wisdom out that it hurt a bit. asked to see the one from the top jaw after, and holy cow, those roots were long! and a bit of a twist to them too - that's why i was saying 'ow', i'm sure.

all in all, if i have to have major work done again, i'm definitely going the same route! basically i was relaxed, not sleepy, not dopey, not out of it at all, and was able to walk, talk, and function just fine within 10 minutes of them putting my stitches in.

so yes folks, i survived!!!!! not entirely happy about the atrotious amount i paid for sedation, and it barely had any effect, but meh, it got me through it. best $400 i've spent in a while, that's for sure.

just bit down a little hard on my gauze now - i don't recommend that! lol.

 

[carole]

CONGRATULATIONS Well done

Take the pain meds before the numbing wears off, I always do, best to get it under control before any pain kicks in. Follow the after care instructions. No sucking cigs, straws, etc... and no spitting. Not that you are likely to but when you get to the rinsing stage you might want to let the fluid drain from your mouth, not spit.

Happy healing, have a nice weekend.

 

[gapmouthgirl]

already took a T3, thinking another is in order in a bit - holes in my gums are a bit tender, but that's it for now. no swelling (yet, i know it peaks later on) either. all the freezing wore off at least half an hour ago.

are there others on here that had the same experience as me with the IV? with it not really working the way the dentist claims it does, and being awake/alert and remember the whole appointment from start to end? i must say, it did help to calm me, but if i knew that would be all i needed, then i would have popped a couple pills instead - way cheaper!

 

[gapmouthgirl]

last pain meds i took were over 5 hours ago. no swelling, no pain, just a little tender on the edge of one hole, and a stitch that brushes against my tongue is driving me batty, lol. clots formed nicely (yay!), and the 'aftermath' is going much much better than i ever would have anticipated. one very nice highlight to the day - when my mom picked me up from the dentist, she brought along a coffee, so when my drooling was done, it would be cool and ok to drink. due to the iv, i wasn't allowed anything to drink or eat past midnight last night. I love my mom

best part is i don't ever have to look at those horrid rotten teeth in my mouth any more! sure, some teeth still need fixing, my ancient amalgam filling needs replaced (or that tooth may need pulled too, not sure yet), and my front teeth need fixing, but after that, from what i can see, it's just small fillings, maybe one RC (from what the dentist said during my teeth 'charting') and then future talk about what to do with all the toothless spaces. but that's way into the future. fix what i've got first!

i put $1.83 into a jar today. every time i have any pocket change, it will go in the jar. when the jar is full enough, another tooth gets fixed it'll be a long slow haul, but it's the only way i can do it without having to eat kraft dinner for weeks on end (yuck! lol). i think i 'may' be able to do some of the small work without any sedatives too, we'll see how shaky i get next time in the chair. this forum has helped so much though, and reading how others have gotten through the bulk of their fears, has been a blessing to me! thank you all

 

[Kim]

Sooooo happy for you, and you have put a smile on my face just knowing how pleased you are to have gotten through all that.

Really, really well done

 

[toucan]

Well done you

I just love these stories! They make me feel all warm and fuzzy!
There is nothing quite like the feeling when you have taken positive steps.
Keep in touch.

 

[carole]

Hi gapmouthgirl eat and drink what you feel comfortable having, just mind the extraction sites. It is good that you are healing without a lot of pain. Follow the after care instructions, and you will be fine.

You will be amazed at how quickly a loose change jar can fill up, I hope it overflows soon for you. It is lovely to read your thread after the event, as I know how terrified you were before. Well done

This link might help with what to eat

Soft Food Ideas

Lots of soft food ideas for recovering after tooth extractions or other dental procedures, or when you have dental problems.

www.dentalfearcentral.org

 

[gapmouthgirl]

no problems eating jello, pudding, and macaroni yesterday. just woke up and no pain. my cheek on that side feels ever so slightly thicker than the right, but that's it.

i guess i'm a good healer! lol. looking back to my extractions in '09, they healed super fast, with no problems either.

 

[gapmouthgirl]

i know, i know, i just posted here an hour ago, but wanted to share some great news.

took my little mirror and checked in on my mouth a minute ago - wow, i'm healing super fast! the extraction sites on my top jaw are half the size they were yesterday! gum is a tad swollen, but not anywhere near what i was expecting. dentist stitched up the bottom jaw so well, it hardly even looks like i had a tooth pulled yesterday! no additional bleeding either.

woo hoo!!!!!!


edited to add - finally worked up the courage to see the receipt from the dentist just now...... i think that's the part i'm phobic about most, lol. eeek! over a grand just for yesterday's visit. so grateful to my boss and my mom for helping me with the funding. i hope that 'chomper' change jar i set up fills fast!

 

[carole]

I am glad you are healing well, that was one expensive visit.

Best wishes

 

[gapmouthgirl]

yeah..... expensive is right! $220 for each of the three extractions and $400 for the sedation that didn't really work. i think my dentist is more expensive than others, and i'm sure i could find a perfectly good with phobics/gentle dentist, but this is the only one i truly feel comfortable going to. heck, i get inner jitters when i sit chair-side beside my kiddo at her dentist!

had an amazing weekend my sweetie 'kidnapped' me and took me out for red lobster dinner saturday (i had shrimp, not a fan of lobster), and then he made me breakfast sunday morning. healing so fast that things like crispy bacon were no trouble at all! it was so funny, he suggested going for a dip in the pool and hot tub at his condo, but then paused and said 'oh wait, you can't go swimming yet, can you?'. i said 'oh geez, it's not like i had major surgery, just a few teeth out, let's go!'.

but yuck, the white granulating tissue/white blood cell goop that ends up covering the extraction sites........ gross!!!!! i know, i know, the goop is a good thing, but my lordy is it ever gross looking, lol! at least at the rate i'm healing up, it'll be gone right quick. thank goodness.