New...So Glad i Found This Place

[laylasdad76]

Hi i'm 41 years old, from the north of England.

Haven't been to a dentist since probably the year 2000, i had a bad filling which came a bit loose and i should have gone back straight away and kept up going to the dentist but it put me off.

Anyway fast forward to now, i've got some pretty bad gum disease on my bottom front teeth, the back end of them facing into my mouth, the gums are a bit inflamed, the teeth are dark and scaly and gums have receded a bit to show nearly the bottom of some of the teeth.

My bottom front teeth are also crooked and spaced, and two of them have like a white spot at the gum under them.

I've gradually bit by bit lost some teeth at the back bottom, so i've great holes back there where teeth should be.

My top front teeth, one is overlapping the other a bit, and one of the two main ones at the front =has turned a sort of grey/brown colour on the bottom half of it - this is because i stupidly applied some neat tea-tree oil to my toothbrush one day (as per a recommendation on the internet), and brushed my teeth, and that one tooth is where i always start brushing, so it got neat tea tree oil on it and has basically burnt my tooth / burnt the enamel off !

Up until about 5 years ago, i didnt look after my teeth too well, i smoked, i ate chocolate, i only brushed once a day at night. Then when i started noticing these problems start, i took more care and the last couple of years it has been to the point of compulsiveness.

But - I keep putting off going to the dentist for the, every year i think i'll definitely do it this year, and never do. The money side of it bothers me, i don't have much to spare, but also the shame of opening my mouth to someone and them being revolted by it and also the prospect of terrible news involving lots of time, cost and pain.

However - i think the time has to be now. It's affecting my life, its all i can think about, it ruined christmas, i was miserable and i couldn't enjoy it with my daughter . My prospects at work are minimal because i have no confidence left to interact properly, i cant smile, i can;t stand or sit too close to someone when i speak to them, so as a result people think i'm rude or awkward and antisocial. I hate my job and i would love to go out and get a new job, but the thought of meeting a group of new people is a terrible prospect.

So, i keep putting it off, the cost idea alone terrifies me, i have maybe £300 i can spare and anything else is just not possible. I was supposed to do it in January, i've managed to put it off for another 3 weeks so far, i'm scared i'm just going to keep on putting it off. But i need my life back. My wife is the same, she has problems, she did actually manage to drag herself to the dentist last year as tooth cracked, so she had it filled and they did other inspections and she was given a quote for well over a thousand pounds !

Anyway i suppose i'm ranting now and just looking for some words of support and wisdom

Finding that place has been a great help to be honest, it makes me see other people are in the same boat and i'm not the freak i've been thinking i am...misery loves company doesn't it ! Just annoys me that everyone i deal with has such good teeth !

 

[clairethehair]

Hello

I can't offer you much wisdom, but I can offer you support - I know what it's like to be constantly worrying about my teeth, and feeling like it's taken over my life. I'm really sorry you're being affected so much and you weren't able to enjoy Christmas, that's horrible You're NOT a freak (or if you are then so am I!) since finding this site a few years ago, I've realised that many people out there have teeth problems and worries about the dentist. I have posted a few times, but admit to being more of a lurker.....

I haven't been to the dentist for 4 years (okay not as long as you but I only went then because I was in agony with an abscess!) and am also desperately trying to be brave and go. I have some problems and suspect I might need a root canal which absolutely terrifies me.....the last time I went to the dentist it was actually a positive experience, but I know the lady who I saw has left the practice now. I'm also terrified of getting terrible news and lots of painful procedures....sorry to ramble on but I just want you to know that I do "get" how you're feeling.

I'm sure other people will offer you more wisdom and help, but I was nodding along at times as I read your post and wanted to reply. You're definitely not alone

Claire x (also from England but the south, and I'm a similar age to you!)

 

[GreenTea]

Hi. Just wanted to offer some support and say that I was where you are now two yeas ago. Having found this site and deciding the time was right I found myself a friendly dentist and it's changed my life. Please be brave and make that first step. I was horrified at the thought of what the dentist might say about the state of my mouth but he'd seen it all (and worse) before. Over the past two years I've had fillings, crowns and a deep clean (under sedation). I'm now proud of my teeth - they are still wonky and off- white but I don't obsess over them anymore. I even manage to brave my check ups and hygienist appointments and I had a filling without sedation this week. I never thought I'd make it to here from where I was and if I can do it you can. Make that first step! Hopefully you can find an nhs dentist which should keep any costs down. Good luck - let us know how you get on.

 

[Tryingtoovercome]

Just wanted to offer support as well. I know exactly what it’s like to have your teeth control your life and ruin special events/moments. I can’t even begin to list the ways my teeth have caused me problems and pain over the years. I decided this year that enough was enough. 2018 I was going to start my journey. I call it a journey because I know it won’t happen overnight and I’m perfectly okay with that. Every single step whether big or small is a part of the journey and will help me reach my goal. This year I got my wisdom teeth out and a few fillings. My wisdom teeth were the worst. Caused me so much pain, infection, and bad breath. That made moments of my life very very debilitating. I learned that my fear was 1000x worse than the procedures. I’m still not 100% by any means. I still get anxious for dentist appointments BUT just showing up to the appointment is a proud moment and a step in my journey. I encourage you to start your journey no matter how long it takes. We are here to support you a long the way

 

[laylasdad76]

Thanks everyone, it's good to know that we're all in it together.
I know i just need that first shove, i can keep making excuses til the cows come home (i'm a professional at stalling things anyway!) but i know that this is only going to get worse without professional help.

So, i'll try and keep people updated, i need to set a date really to sit down and start my search.
I'd rather go private but the cost is horrendous, but then again very few NHS dentists are taking on these days so i may not have a choice anyway

 

[Zoidberg444]

I know how you feel mate. I live down in the Midlands. I'm nearly 30 and haven't had a proper dental examination since 2006. I went for some awful emergency treatment in 2008 and since then nothing. I have severe overcrowding. Chunks broken out of 2 molars. Impacted wisdom teeth. Enamel has flaked off in places. An incisor bent and sticking out with decay and a canine also sticking out and chipped and badly decayed. I probably haven't looked after them as well as you have (although I don't smoke) and they are ruining my life too. I'm glad I work night shifts because I could never face normal people out in the world with a mouth like mine. I've spent years trying to ignore them because if I think about them they just depress me. I'm going to have to get them dealt with soon. I spent Christmas in agony with an exposed nerve. It took more than 2 weeks for the bloody thing to die.

Of all the things to be scared of, its dental treatment. Heights, bugs, spiders, small spaces. etc. None of it bothers me. But just the thought of sitting in the chair and letting someone look in my mouth makes me feel nauseous.

 

[laylasdad76]

Yeah it seems like a common theme, if I was ill i'd go to the doctors, but the dentist...forget about it.

In actual fact i probably wouldn't even go to the docs at the moment.
Last time i went to the doctors, he asked me to open my mouth so he could look inside with his torch.. i thought great, i've only come in with a rash, i'd have not bothered if i knew he would want to shine a bloody torch in my mouth !

 

[laylasdad76]

Right...i've found a dentist taking on NHS patients near me, i've got to go in tomorrow to fill in a form & register.

Nervous about even doing that part !

Anyway...i figure i'll do it one step at a time and i can stop at any point.

 

[Enarete]

Hey, great to hear that you are moving things forward!

It's a great idea to take one step at a time. You know, when you look at that all - all the treatment, all the costs, all the fear.. this is where anxiety raises and the whole thing just seems to be too overwhelming... so you keep putting off and putting off.. But in reality you never have to face it all at once. And there are always options. Always. A good dentist will respect what you can afford and help you to set priorities.

But the first step is to decide to change the situation, which you already did.. 5 years ago actually, as you started to take care of your teeth. You maybe don't realize it, but that's where you started.

So your next step is to register tomorrow and there is no need to look any further for now. You can worry later about all the other stuff, but for now it's just the registration.

Wish you all the best and good luck for tomorrow. Let us know how it went. My very personal piece of advice would be: listen to your feeling and only stay with the practice if you really trust them. It's important that you find a dentist you feel fine with and trust and start creating some positive experiences.

Good luck and take care

 

[laylasdad76]

Hey, great to hear that you are moving things forward!

It's a great idea to take one step at a time. You know, when you look at that all - all the treatment, all the costs, all the fear.. this is where anxiety raises and the whole thing just seems to be too overwhelming... so you keep putting off and putting off.. But in reality you never have to face it all at once. And there are always options. Always. A good dentist will respect what you can afford and help you to set priorities.

But the first step is to decide to change the situation, which you already did.. 5 years ago actually, as you started to take care of your teeth. You maybe don't realize it, but that's where you started.

So your next step is to register tomorrow and there is no need to look any further for now. You can worry later about all the other stuff, but for now it's just the registration.

Wish you all the best and good luck for tomorrow. Let us know how it went. My very personal piece of advice would be: listen to your feeling and only stay with the practice if you really trust them. It's important that you find a dentist you feel fine with and trust and start creating some positive experiences.

Good luck and take care

Hi, thanks for your kind words

 

[laylasdad76]

Well, i did it !

Went to the dentists, filled in a form to register.
I was shaking so much i could barely write, it looked like a 5 year old had filled it in

Anyway, I've got an appointment, 21st February

Step 1 done!

 

[Enarete]

Well done!

How did you feel? Were they kind?

 

[laylasdad76]

Well done!

How did you feel? Were they kind?

Thanks

I only really spoke to the receptionist but she seemed ok.
The waiting room is a bit small and intimate though which i wasn't too thrilled about , but the actual practice has had good reviews and appear to take nervous patients into consideration, so we'll see !

 

[Enarete]

Glad to hear that. Keep us updated!

 

[Aurora10]

Hi, I totally understand how you have felt and how overwhelming it is to feel trapped, as in you want to do something about your teeth but are too intimidated to get started. But you have got started now, and things are so much better than they used to be at the dentists. I am a northerner too, and very proud of it, and we have some great dentists up there. As other people have said, the thought really is worse than the reality. The key certainly is an empathetic dentist who you get on with, and remember, you are in charge. It is your mouth and you should be thinking of your dentist as a partner with you in this road to dental health. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do, you are in control. You just keep thinking positive, go at your own pace and don't settle for anything else.
Good luck and all the best! Looking forward to hearing how it goes

 

[laylasdad76]

Hi, I totally understand how you have felt and how overwhelming it is to feel trapped, as in you want to do something about your teeth but are too intimidated to get started. But you have got started now, and things are so much better than they used to be at the dentists. I am a northerner too, and very proud of it, and we have some great dentists up there. As other people have said, the thought really is worse than the reality. The key certainly is an empathetic dentist who you get on with, and remember, you are in charge. It is your mouth and you should be thinking of your dentist as a partner with you in this road to dental health. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do, you are in control. You just keep thinking positive, go at your own pace and don't settle for anything else.
Good luck and all the best! Looking forward to hearing how it goes

Well, my big day is tomorrow , my first check-up for many many years.
Can't believe its 3 weeks since i made the appointment.

I will be nervous as anything tomorrow, can feel the knot in my stomach already.
BUT...i'm going. I'm not backing out.

I will let you know how it goes !

 

[Enarete]

Hey, thank you for coming back and post an update! You sound very determined, despite the anxiety, that's lovely to hear!

You will do great but I feel that you don't really need to hear this because you know it.

All the best and looking forward to the success story!

 

[Zoidberg444]

Best of luck mate. The big day was yesterday for me. Let us know the good/bad news.

 

[laylasdad76]

Best of luck mate. The big day was yesterday for me. Let us know the good/bad news.

Morning all

Well, i went! Was nervous all day, got there in plenty of time, waited in the waiting room and i was called pretty quickly (thankfully i suppose).

I was seen by a young female dentist, plus her assistant, plus a student in the room, which was a bit more of an audience than i had been hoping for.

She had to keep asking me to relax my mouth and open properly, because i was resisting and tensing up.
But after a while i relaxed and just gave into it and let her poke around and say out numbers and whatever words to her assistant. Had a couple of x-rays done as well.

So basically, not the rampant gum disease i feared. I have some gum disease but they think it can be cleaned away. I need two back teeth extracting as one has an absess and the other is infected - this is far from ideal, i'm worried about losing two teeth but hopefully that wont be visible to anyone and will just feel weird to me. On top of that , i need 7 fillings (mainly just replacing existing fillings).

I have two sessions booked in March to get the work done.
Overall the experience wasn't as bad as i'd feared, once i got over the phobia of lying there and opening my mouth wide to a stranger, and the embarrassment of being judged for my bad teeth. Didn't help that she was very attractive as well!

I'm glad i've done it, annoyed with myself for leaving it so long which will ultimately cost me a couple of teeth, but now i've done it i'm determined to keep up regular appointments. I had a couple of wobbly moments where i was going to wuss out, but what made me see it through was deciding that for once i was going to do something that my future self would look back and thank me for. And i hope in a year's time my future self thinks back and says, a year ago things were much worse, i'm glad i did it. Instead of what i normally do and think back and say, i wish i'd done that then.

 

[laylasdad76]

Morning all

Well, i went! Was nervous all day, got there in plenty of time, waited in the waiting room and i was called pretty quickly (thankfully i suppose).

I was seen by a young female dentist, plus her assistant, plus a student in the room, which was a bit more of an audience than i had been hoping for.

She had to keep asking me to relax my mouth and open properly, because i was resisting and tensing up.
But after a while i relaxed and just gave into it and let her poke around and say out numbers and whatever words to her assistant. Had a couple of x-rays done as well.

So basically, not the rampant gum disease i feared. I have some gum disease but they think it can be cleaned away. I need two back teeth extracting as one has an absess and the other is infected - this is far from ideal, i'm worried about losing two teeth but hopefully that wont be visible to anyone and will just feel weird to me. On top of that , i need 7 fillings (mainly just replacing existing fillings).

I have two sessions booked in March to get the work done.
Overall the experience wasn't as bad as i'd feared, once i got over the phobia of lying there and opening my mouth wide to a stranger, and the embarrassment of being judged for my bad teeth. Didn't help that she was very attractive as well!

I'm glad i've done it, annoyed with myself for leaving it so long which will ultimately cost me a couple of teeth, but now i've done it i'm determined to keep up regular appointments. I had a couple of wobbly moments where i was going to wuss out, but what made me see it through was deciding that for once i was going to do something that my future self would look back and thank me for. And i hope in a year's time my future self thinks back and says, a year ago things were much worse, i'm glad i did it. Instead of what i normally do and think back and say, i wish i'd done that then.

Update from my earlier post in February.

I've ended up having 5 sessions since...three of which were to do a root canal on one of my teeth, and the other two were for fillings.

I haven't had the two teeth extracted, yet...the dentist said they'll keep an eye on the infection but whilst i'm not in any pain from them then its ok to leave them for now, and monitor things.

I was going to have them done but have so many other things going on at the moment that i honestly couldn't deal with having two teeth pulled out as well ! I'm going to revisit that next year when hopefully i can handle it better.

After a couple of sessions i just ended up turning up, lying down, opening my mouth wide and letting them get on with what they were doing. The numbing injections don't hurt either.