• Dental Phobia Support

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New to the forum, horrible experience :(

A

A_RV

Junior member
Joined
Apr 18, 2014
Messages
13
Hi, this is a mixture of an introduction, a vent and an ask for advice on what to expect next...

I avoid dentists at all cost and am debating whether I am phobic or anxious. I go periods of 5-8 years between visits and only go if something awful happens to my teeth.

I need a crown replaced, I went to a dentist 8 weeks ago after the crown fell out and disclosed that I suffer from depression, severe anxiety/anxiety attacks and social phobia, and am on medication for this. She made me feel uneasy from the start and screamed at me throughout my appointments, went into graphic surgical detail on cutting gums away etc... and shouted at me for hyperventilating! Going as far to say "I will hurt you more if you don't stop" She left blood soaked cotton balls on the tray for long periods of time while she was doing her procedures and this freaked me out so much! I asked if it would work and she shouted at me for not understanding her prognosis that it would last 5 years, I said "but you said it might not work at all!" She laughed at me and said "it has worked"

The treatment failed and she has left what looks like a tictac in my mouth (false filling material over the post!) She did not let me see what a mess she had left. When she told me it failed I started crying, she screamed at me saying theres no need to act like this, and informing me I needed another local anaesthetic which terrifies me, when I started getting upset again she shouted "I have other patients, stop crying or I will send you home!"

I saw the mess she left and phoned the practise, I spoke to the nurse (who was lovely) but she said the dentist could not do any more for me, unless I went private and opted for implants or a bridge in which case I would need dentures for 3 months! (I am 27!) I asked the receptionist for a 2nd opinion and she referred me to a man in the practise.


I saw him yesterday and he is lovely I had to bring my mum in with me because I was so nervous, he shook my hand and made a joke on how sweaty it was! Reassured me there was no way he was going to let me go without a tooth and told me he was going to perform a crown lengthening procedure. I've looked into this and I am terrified! I like this man, he makes me feel easy but I have lost a lot of trust in dentists! I've gone through un necessary pain because of this other butcher!

While I was in the waiting room, I was asked by the receptionist if I wanted to see the practise manager to make a complaint, I am scared that this will hinder my treatment with the new dentist. I also do not know if this will drag out what has happened to me.


This new dentist was so reassuring and so lovely, but I am so scared that I will be TOO nervous for him! He seems to be a good choice for nervous patients but I'm scared that my teeth are in such bad condition at the back (my smile gives the impression of a healthy mouth!) I don't want to be shouted at again :(
 
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Hello, I'm so sorry to hear you had such a bad experience. That lady should not be in dental practice at all! I can't relate because I've never been in that type of situation, but I do want to share my sympathies w/ you. It can be hard to trust dentists again after a very bad experience, but it can be done step by step if you see the right professional. You may want to take the receptionist's advice and make a complaint to the practice manager about the female dentist, and don't worry about it affecting your relationship w/ the new male dentist because it shouldn't. However, if you're still uneasy about that, ask around for referrals to another office. You don't want to hold your experiences inside w/o confiding in a trustworthy dental specialist because they can work w/ you. They can help you overcome your anxiety by sedation, oral medication (e.g., Ativan), nitrous oxide, or other methods. Good luck!
 
Thank you for the reply, I think I've decided against the complaint for the time being, will see how this other dentist does, he was so good with me though, calmed me down, didn't shout at me and spoke to me in a way I understood.

The last dentist did not explain things in a way that enabled me to make informed decisions, which to me was out of order. As long as I get my smile back at the end of this I will be Ok :)
 
Thank you for the reply, I think I've decided against the complaint for the time being, will see how this other dentist does, he was so good with me though, calmed me down, didn't shout at me and spoke to me in a way I understood.

The last dentist did not explain things in a way that enabled me to make informed decisions, which to me was out of order. As long as I get my smile back at the end of this I will be Ok :)

That's good the other dentist explained things very well; it's important for them to do that. The first dentist you saw apparently has communication & social problems! Remember, as a patient, you're also a paying customer, so you are in control, and you can stop the procedure at any time. If a dentist refuses to honor your request, I'd get out of there quickly and definitely make a complaint. You have the right to give your informed consent to any treatment. Hope everything goes really well for you in the future. God bless.
 
Thank you for the reply, I think I've decided against the complaint for the time being, will see how this other dentist does, he was so good with me though, calmed me down, didn't shout at me and spoke to me in a way I understood.

The last dentist did not explain things in a way that enabled me to make informed decisions, which to me was out of order. As long as I get my smile back at the end of this I will be Ok :)
I am so very sorry you had to experience this, and you were the better person by the way. Good for you! Trust this second dentist, and try not to read up too much on the procedure. Alot post worse case scenarios. The biggest problem in *the chair* is our fears, and the dentist's reaction to them. Some Dentists take it too personally, and perhaps need to take a course in how to treat patients with dental fears. If you are against complaining about this first dentist at this time, wait until you are all done with treatment. No one deserves to be treated like that, especially when fear is so obvious. Wishing you the best!
 
Thank you. I'm stopping myself from searching up on the procedure any more. I'm back in work this week from the easter break so I will be able to take my mind off it until Friday.

The reason why I would have complained would have been to come off her list and onto someone else's, the practise have done this anyway and made a note on my file that she is not to treat me, they've put me with someone who understands nervous patients so they've already done what I wanted, I don't want to ruin this woman's career, just because she failed at meeting my needs does not mean she will fail everyone's, and if she repeats the same attitude I'm sure someone else will take it upon themselves.
 
I know exactly how you feel, I am the same way. I have had less than stellar experiences, but always chalk it up to maybe they're just having a bad day, and I move on. Try to focus on how you will feel after the procedures, our worrying is the worse part! :)
 
Thanks again.... it's hit me today that I have to go back on Friday and I'm literally feeling sick :(
 
Thanks again.... it's hit me today that I have to go back on Friday and I'm literally feeling sick :(
Try to focus on the positive aspects as much as you can. You met this new dentist and felt alot more comfortable, which is a very good thing. By the end of the day, it will be behind you, pat yourself on the back for a job well done, you certainly deserve it. Plan something on Saturday that's fun and will give you something to look forward to, reward yourself. You can do this, no doubt :)
 
Try to focus on the positive aspects as much as you can. You met this new dentist and felt alot more comfortable, which is a very good thing. By the end of the day, it will be behind you, pat yourself on the back for a job well done, you certainly deserve it. Plan something on Saturday that's fun and will give you something to look forward to, reward yourself. You can do this, no doubt :)

Thank you :) onwards and upwards, I just wish I could fast forward this week x
 
Sorry to hear about your experiences :(... Unfortunately there are a few unpleasant dentists out there, but there also lots of nice ones too :).

Not every dentist is suited to working with nervous patients as it does take more time, patience and understanding on their part. So it may be that the first dentist you saw, just wasn't the right person for you, or alternatively, she might be like that with all her patients. Either way, whether you're nervous or not and whether the dentist is suited to treating nervous patients (or not), you do have a right to be treated with dignity and respect.

There are professional standards that all dentists, dental nurses, therapists and hygienists in the UK have to work to and these are set by the General Dental Council. These standards set out what they must do (compulsory) and what they should do when working with patients. It also states what patients can expect from their dental team. You can read the PDF here:

https://www.gdc-uk.org/Dentalprofessionals/Standards/Documents/Standards for the Dental Team.pdf

This is taken from the PDF of the standards:

Standard 1.2: You must treat every patient with dignity and respect at all times.

1.2.1 You should be aware of how your tone of voice and body language might be perceived.
1.2.2 You should take patients' preferences into account and be sensitive to their individual needs and values.
1.2.3 You must treat patients with kindness and compassion.
1.2.4 You should manage patients' dental pain and anxiety appropriately.


From what you posted, the first dentist you saw, clearly fell short of these standards, so you would be perfectly within your rights to complain; even if it doesn't affect your treatment now, you might be able to help prevent someone else from experiencing the same thing.

I saw the mess she left and phoned the practise, I spoke to the nurse (who was lovely) but she said the dentist could not do any more for me, unless I went private and opted for implants or a bridge in which case I would need dentures for 3 months! (I am 27!) I asked the receptionist for a 2nd opinion and she referred me to a man in the practise.

I'm guessing that you see an NHS dentist from what you posted. This sounds a bit strange to me... The first dentist you saw says that they can't do anything more for you.... unless you opt for private treatment, but yet another dentist at the same practice, is willing to provide further treatment for you on the NHS? :hmm: It sounds to me like someone is perhaps being less than honest with you.

I used to go to quite a large NHS practice and one or two of the dentists I saw there (it was a different one every 18-24 months because they didn't stay very long) would try and play the same game with me i.e. "Well, I can't do anything more for you now.... but if you wanted to pay privately, we could this..." and when I checked it out on the internet and with the local NHS primary care trust, it turned out that the treatment I needed was available on the NHS. When I went back and questioned what they'd said and let them know I'd done the research, they usually backtracked and suddenly, the treatment was available on the NHS after all (what a surprise!). I'm not suggesting that this has definitely happened in your case, but it's something to be aware of as it seems to be that more dental practices are doing this in order to make more money because the NHS system doesn't really adequately pay them for the work they do.

This new dentist was so reassuring and so lovely, but I am so scared that I will be TOO nervous for him! He seems to be a good choice for nervous patients but I'm scared that my teeth are in such bad condition at the back (my smile gives the impression of a healthy mouth!) I don't want to be shouted at again :(

You are allowed to be nervous you know :). These days, most dentists half expect their patients to be nervous to some degree anyway, so it shouldn't be a surprise for them. You've also met this dentist before, so he's already seen that you're nervous. Nobody's teeth are perfect, not even most dentists' teeth are perfect and the people who appear to have 'perfect' teeth, have usually spent an absolute fortune in making them look that way.

From what you posted about your visit to the second dentist, it doesn't sound like you will be shouted at, so try not to worry. If you got a good first impression (which is usually fairly accurate when it comes to sussing people out), then the chances are that this second dentist will turn out to be absolutely fine with you.

As for looking things up on Google, well, we all do it, but unfortunately it doesn't always help :rolleyes:. I needed an existing root canal re-treating last year, so my dentist referred me to an endodontist for the treatment and although I'd had a root canal before, I looked up root canal re-treatment on the internet and ended up frightening myself silly by watching YouTube videos :rolleyes:. I actually ended up needing 7 root canals and I'll be starting on number 8 in a few weeks' time. One year on, I can honestly say that I don't know why I bothered looking it up, I should have listened to what the endodontist said at my first appointment, regarding what the treatment would be like, because it's been nowhere near as bad as what I'd imagined :rolleyes: (then again, I have been taking Diazepam for the root canal appointments, so once I've had a decent dose of that, I don't really care what happens :giggle:!).

You'll be fine; just remember, it doesn't matter whether you're an NHS or private patient, you're still the customer, you're the one who's in control of what does and doesn't happen. :)
 
Thank you Vicki, you've really put my mind at rest. He seems to think the healing time will be a few weeks vs the internet saying a few months, didn't mention complications and said I will be in and out in 15 minutes, so I'm wondering if he is planning a watered down version of the procedure.

Good luck to you with everything you're dealing with. I am glad I asked for a 2nd opinion although the receptionist initially said no because dentist #1 did the treatment so she should fix it, my arguement was that I'd paid for the course of treatment so it should be closed (I needed some more fillings but she refused to do them because the treatment plan was open for 2 months.) I'm wondering how the system works and if there's commission or if it's a basic rate, as to why one would not give me the treatment necessary and one would both on the nhs on band 3. I have had to have 2 courses of band 2 treatment with this woman on the same tooth within 3 months (a temp fix in Jan and the failed band 3 reduced to band 2) so she's already tried to rip me off. I don't care about the money as long as I don't have to be treated by her again!
 
If you're not sure about what treatment the dentist is planning to do, or what it involves, don't be afraid to ask them :). They're supposed to get your 'informed consent' before any treatment and you can only give informed consent if you know what the treatment involves.

Regarding different courses of treatment, this is what the NHS website says:

If you have completed one course of treatment but you need another treatment, you do not have to pay again if:


  • You need more treatment within the same or a lower charge band (such as another filling) within two months of completing a course of treatment. As long as you discussed the problem with the dentist during that time, they will try to fit you in as soon as possible. However, if they have to offer you a later appointment, you should not be charged again.
  • You need repair work or a replacement for certain types of restoration within a year of the original work being done. You should return to the same dentist.


From what I remember, as it says above, if you need further treatment within two months of completing a course of treatment, then providing it would be in the same band as the previous treatment, you don't need to pay again. If it's a higher band, then you would pay the difference and if it's longer than two months since your last course of treatment was finished, then you pay again at the appropriate band level.

When I was a patient at the NHS practice I used to go to, most of my molars needed fillings pretty much at the same time, due to pain and erosion. The dentist I was seeing (before I got fed up and decided to go private), deliberately tried to space out the 8 fillings over about a year, in order to try and charge several band 2 charges for what was actually one course of treatment. He claimed that he couldn't do them all at once on the NHS although unsurprisingly he could do them as one course of treatment privately... (not true!). He also told me that I needed a soft mouthguard for my lower teeth to prevent damage from me grinding my teeth at night and that he couldn't offer this on the NHS either (again not true!), so if I wanted one, the cost would be about £200-300 privately. When I challenged this, he changed his mind and said that he could do it on the NHS but it would be band 3 (which at the time was about £200). Shortly after this, I changed practices and I now go to a private practice. One of the first things my current dentist did was to make me a soft mouthguard for my lower teeth and it only cost £60!! Something tells me that if I had agreed to have the mouthguard made by the previous dentist at the NHS place, he would've charged me £200 on the NHS but probably processed it as a private treatment and then pocketed the difference. :hmm:

Not all dentists are the same and most are honest, but if you suspect that something is not quite right, then it usually pays to do your homework. :thumbsup:
 
Thanks again, I'm just glad I now have a dentist who doesn't scare me, and seems to have my best interests in mind rather than money. Are NHS dentists on commission?

My appointment is tomorrow, to say I'm nervous is a massive understatement :( I have to stop watching youtube videos of the procedure
 
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