Paralyzed with fear

[Weadopted]

​I am desperately looking for some positive support right now. To make a long story short, I have had a severe phobia of the dentist since I was a young child. The thought of one actually puts me into an anxiety attack. My teeth are in HORRIBLE shape and they hurt me every single day! Most of the teeth are broken and black--I am ashamed to speak or smile these days.
I want to get the teeth removed but the anxiety paralyzes me. My fear is two-fold: First, I am terrified of what the dentist will say to me about the condition of my teeth (worried he/she might even be grosssed out by them); and I am also worried about the pain I will feel afterwards.
Could someone PLEASE offer me some positive experiences?

 

[Brittany48]

The best advice I can offer is to spend the time finding yourself a dentist who is sympathetic, compassionate, and understanding of your phobia because unless you trust the dentist and are comfortable with them, you won't go forward with the treatment. Make appointments with different dentists if possible, and spend that first appointment just speaking with them, explaining your fears and concerns, as that conversation will give you a feeling whether you want to take the next step and let them look in your mouth. Also, sometimes we make the situation of our teeth worse than it actually is, and with the advances of dentistry in recent years, more teeth than ever are able to be saved!

 

[zombiegroupie]

I have had several abusive/traumatic experiences with dentists and also suffered some other trauma which makes it hard for me to get treatment...

I did just finally have a broken rotted tooth removed and am working on getting other things done.

Remember first of all that you are in charge, always.

If you get a bad vibe, take your busines ssomewhere else.

Read yelp reviews. I like to do that

 

[Spike 1969]

First of all

I would agree with both of the posts above and would add that perhaps in your initial search for your ideal dentist that you email the likely candidates as the response you get back from each one will give you a very good idea whether or not you would like to speak with them further.

As Brittany says, there have been great advances in dentistry in the past 10-20 years and many dentists are aware and willing to help people with fear of dental treatment, the procedures themselves are very much improved over those of the past.

in posting on here you are taking that very important first step to getting things sorted so you should give yourself a huge pat on the back for that.

kind Regards

 

[Angie61]

Nothing to fear

Hello,

I know

 

[es]

hi, you are taking a step by talking about it, and you have come to a good place (here) because you have found people with similar fears to yourself, although we all maybe have slightly different fears and stressed, i think we can understand and all help to support each other with like-minded others.

i think all advice above is important, and i may myself, take spikes by e-mailing them first and gauging from their response about your situation. be open with them about how scared you are, because communication is extremely important here!

 

[Weadopted]

Thank you for all such wonderful support.

 

[Quixote]

I'm in the middle of my appointments with the dentist right now - first in five years - and although I was absolutely terrified, and still am, I do feel better for going. I expected to be scolded and humiliated, and to have my issues laughed at, but the dentist and sedationist were both really lovely, and even though I'm currently stressing that one of my fillings might end up as an extraction, I'm so glad I went to that first appointment. We don't deserve to be in constant pain!

 

[Deejay]

Hello, the biggest majority of dentists these days are really proud of their work and what they can do to help you, as people have said if you have a few dentists you can choose from in your vacinity or easily accessible by car, bus etc drop them an email stating you are phobic and ask if they would be willing to have a meet and greet to discuss how they can help you achieve a healthy smile, those that accept to see you have time for you obviously and you can see how you feel when you meet, all things should be done in small steps and at your pace these days you should not be made to feel embarrassed as the good ones want to make things right, hey if we all had good teeth there would be no need for dentists! The first actual appointment may if you can manage be as simple as a look you could probably even arrange it to be no tools or just a mirror and you may need some X-rays to see hidden places Depending how you feel and the type of surgery you attend you may be able to have oral medication to help calm the butterflies and for other works there can be inhaled sedation, laughing gas or Happy air or IV sedation maybe available. When you feel you may have found the right one and you have had X-rays you can discuss the findings and how you can work together to fix any problems. I hadn't been for 10 years and I was more embarrassed than they were shocked, actually they didn't bat an eyelid!!! I had numbing gel if I needed injections although I could probably manage without the gel as they are given so precise and carefully you get totally numb in the right areas with no feeling overly numbed to the point of feeling like you have a rubber face I wasn't laid back too far, nothing was laid out on view to scare me one of my problems was focussing on noise so the tv that was there was turned up louder so I could listen to that!. Afterwards any pain relief was just paracetamol and ibuprofen and even after multiple extractions this was only needed for 3days max, nothing was any worse than some of the hideous toothache I had suffered. But start at the beginning and find someone you can work with then take it from there and remember
A bad day with good teeth always outweighs a good day with bad teeth. Please keep in touch and I hope you find the right one
D.J

 

[Weadopted]

I am so thankful for everyone's replies! I know I need a MINIMUM of 11 teeth out (maybe even more) and that terrifies me!

 

[Colin65]

Hi,
If you want to read some positive stories then the journals are a good start, I have my own which may encourage you. Good luck you'll be fine.

 

[Sevena]

I am so thankful for everyone's replies! I know I need a MINIMUM of 11 teeth out (maybe even more) and that terrifies me!

But if you do get them out, whether you get a bridge or a denture, you'll feel so much lighter and more free. You'll be able to smile and talk again without worrying. It's a huge burden off your shoulders. It might be a long journey, and it might be hard, but it'll be worth it, and you can get support every step of the way - through this forum, and through kind professionals you will meet.

You probably think you're a special case, but you're really not! Your dentist will have seen countless people whose teeth are just as bad, and worse! They won't judge - they just want to do their job. I understand feeling ashamed anyway though. I've been there. My teeth were terrible, and I got them all out, at a young age too. But I stopped caring. It happens. There are so many people on this site who have been in similar positions. We have solidarity!

Dentistry has gotten a lot better. They are accustomed to dealing with anxious patients. You can talk about methods of dealing with your fear of getting procedures done with your dentist. There's options like sedation available. Don't be afraid to discuss all your fears. As others recommended, try finding a dentist who has good reviews, and explain your fears to them. They will make sure to go at a pace you can handle.

Best wishes x

 

[Mugz]

Just wanted to say "hi" and let you know you have come to the right place. I think you have gotten some great advice. There are many of us here in various stages of getting back to dental health. Many have had terrible childhood dental trauma, myself included, and only go when we are in pain and know the courage it takes to make and keep the appointments. You will find a wonderfully supportive group here. I am at the beginning, so can't really offer much yet...but I am steering "newbies" to check out posts, particularly from Martha55, on my Lions, Tigers and Dentists thread. She has a knack for knowing just what you need to read, when you need to read it and has been very comforting to me this month. I hope you find that to be the case for you as well.