Sharing a story

[olivacs]

Well I wanted to share a story and wasn't sure where to post it so I thought I would just add it here...

We all know our fear of dentists hence the reason why we are on here well this happened at work today.

I have a co-worker who has complained of a hurting tooth for about a month now. She finally was able to get into the dentist and have it checked once she found someone who would take her insurance. As a result of a check-up and xrays and such her treatment plan involves 3 root canals, 3 crowns, and 16 fillings along with a deep cleaning. Looking at her you would never know her teeth had any problems. She came into work and told all of us what transpired and she got such rude treatment.
Some said things like don't you ever brush your teeth while others asked her how long has she not been to the dentist for. The girl responded her last visit was in 2002. Everyone continued to shoot negative comments her way and I could tell she was uncomfortable.
By this time I was fuming and knew I had to say something. I looked at everyone and said, " Instead of judging her maybe you should be there for her. She is finding the news shocking and your negative comments aren't helping. We should praise her for taking such a big step. We don't know her situation and just because you she has cavities does not mean she doesn't ever brush her teeth." Well the room grew silent for a few minutes. I could not believe I said something... Everyone kind of went their own way at that point but the girl later came up to me and thanked me so much for sticking up for her. Others heard it and began to apologize to her as well. This then opened up a whole new conversation and everyone began to share how long it had been since they visited the dentist. Guess what, the timeframe ranged from 3 years - 12 years. Funny how these same dentist avoiders were so quick to judge isn't it? Just had to share my experience

 

[RP]

Well I wanted to share a story and wasn't sure where to post it so I thought I would just add it here...

We all know our fear of dentists hence the reason why we are on here well this happened at work today.

I have a co-worker who has complained of a hurting tooth for about a month now. She finally was able to get into the dentist and have it checked once she found someone who would take her insurance. As a result of a check-up and xrays and such her treatment plan involves 3 root canals, 3 crowns, and 16 fillings along with a deep cleaning. Looking at her you would never know her teeth had any problems. She came into work and told all of us what transpired and she got such rude treatment.
Some said things like don't you ever brush your teeth while others asked her how long has she not been to the dentist for. The girl responded her last visit was in 2002. Everyone continued to shoot negative comments her way and I could tell she was uncomfortable.
By this time I was fuming and knew I had to say something. I looked at everyone and said, " Instead of judging her maybe you should be there for her. She is finding the news shocking and your negative comments aren't helping. We should praise her for taking such a big step. We don't know her situation and just because you she has cavities does not mean she doesn't ever brush her teeth." Well the room grew silent for a few minutes. I could not believe I said something... Everyone kind of went their own way at that point but the girl later came up to me and thanked me so much for sticking up for her. Others heard it and began to apologize to her as well. This then opened up a whole new conversation and everyone began to share how long it had been since they visited the dentist. Guess what, the timeframe ranged from 3 years - 12 years. Funny how these same dentist avoiders were so quick to judge isn't it? Just had to share my experience

WTG! Olivacs, we call that the elephant in the room, the topic no one wants to admit is an issues for them, so its easier to put up a facade and throw rocks at someone else. It also represents ignorance.

My whole premise in thinking about doing a news story is exactly the same as yours, just on a widespread basis.

 

[olivacs]

Couldn't agree with you more RP!

 

[Razzle3]

Good for you Olivia! That type of response is possibly in part why your co-worker has not gone to the dentist for so long! Not what she or anyone needs at all.

 

[k1ndz0n3]

I think the initial reaction, was pure defense mechanism. Put the attention on someone else, so you are not suspect of the same offense. Easier to throw stones with the crowd, than to be the one to step forward, defending the one attacked. I commend you for being the one to defend your co-worker against this sort of negativity. I hope you shared the web address for this site, with her as well. It sounds like she can use more than the superficial support of her misguided co-workers. Thank you for bringing up this topic, as it should be one that will help many people that read it, for inspiration, and how easy it is, to identify with being on both sides of that scenario. I am sure that quite a few of us, have experienced a situation that we wished for someone to step up, and defend us against the slings, and arrows, of a cruel minded group bent on humiliating us for our dental problems. I can personally attest to having been in more than a few scenes like you describe, with no 'savior' to rescue me.
Having once had a small child ask me outright, "How come your teeth are all brown, and yucky looking ?", and having to tell them, that it is because I did not care for my teeth properly. Then hearing the parent tell them, "Now when I tell you to brush your teeth, you know what can happen if you don't." . . . and just walking away, unable to do, or say anything at all.
<KZ>

 

[Cielo]

Good for you for sticking up for her. I'm curious, did any of them admit to being phobic?

 

[alleyp]

You are awesome very proud of you sticking up for her, and all of us indirectly! xx

 

[olivacs]

As an update, my co-worker cancelled her first appointment to begin her work. She confided in me that she is admittedly scared and I shared this site with her and told her to check it out. I shared with her a bit of my experience which was huge for me because no one in my workplace knows even a bit of it. She was shocked to hear of all I went through and I feel like we built a closer bond.

To answer Cielo's question...no one else admitted they were dental phobic although I bet there are a few amongst them. One girl told me her husband has not been to the dentist in 12 years and has no desire to go.

 

[robotguy]

Well done you! you are 100% right at the reaction of your co-workers, support is what is needed not ridiclule.

I had an abcess that set me off on the road to beating my phobia, it caused me so much pain and swelling that I had to take a week off work, I told them it was a broken tooth that was causing me pain. When I went back obviously a few of them knew I had had a problem with my teeth and asked me how I was and if the tooth was fixed. I came clean to a few of them that I had a major problem with going to a dentist, far in excess of saying I don't like going, which is what everyone else seems to be able to say. For now the infection and pain was gone but I needed help in seeing a dentist, in fact just talking to them about it was making me sweat and light-headded. One person did seem more concerned than the others and has since regualy asked me how I'm doing when I've passed their office. Today he came to find me because I told him yesterday that I was going for more work last night. I was so touched by his support, he came looking for me as he was concerned about how I got on, I can't tell you how much that helped me.

What I'm trying to say is to keep talking to your co-worker, she will get strength in having someone understanding to talk to.

 

[olivacs]

Great advice robotguy!
I hope I can help her get to the point where she is able to go to the dentist. I remember feeling like her a year ago and it sure wasn't pleasant. With the help of everyone on this board I made it thru.