The Ballad of the Forgotten Teeth

[mrcouperin]

My story is fairly long and complicated, but in short, I neglected my teeth for several years, and now a few of my front teeth need to be crowned. [Feel free to skip the next few paragraphs if you want. ]

I'm Tom: from Cork, Ireland, and at 28, I'm probably far too young to have such damage done to my teeth. I had a lot of problems growing up: I struggled with my sexuality for years, and I was always nerdy and uncoordinated. I comfort-ate from the age of 9, and by the time I was 15, I was definitely obese. It must have been at about that point that I became depressed as well. I lost all interest in personal hygiene, and sadly, that included letting several weeks or even months go by without brushing or flossing my teeth at all.

It wasn't until last year that I finally got my depression (and my weight) under control, as a result of some therapy and about six months of medication. I take pretty good care of my teeth now (I've almost totally eliminated soft drinks and sugary foods, I brush and rinse with mouthwash two or three times a day, and floss at least once), but as far as decay is concerned, it's that bit too late.

I've had 12 or 13 fillings put in over the last six months or so, and now it turns out that somewhere in between two and four of my front teeth will need to be crowned, as well as needing a root canal to one of my back molars. I feel just awful about having neglected my teeth for so long. I know, of course, that it's probably not nearly as bad a situation as some people might be in, but the whole thing is driving me insane.

My dentist is a nice, reassuring guy, but no matter how well I understand what he says from a logical standpoint, I still feel so much regret and shame over the whole affair. I know I can't change the past, but I would pay anything for a time-travelling DeLorean right now. (Haha)

I just needed to recount my stupid saga for my own peace of mind, more than anything. What do you guys think: am I being as silly about this as I think I am?

 

[Brittany48]

Hi Tom,

You're not being silly at all and you should be proud of yourself for having those 12-13 fillings done, and for the leaps and bounds you've taken to take care of your teeth now. You're also incredibly lucky that you have a dentist you trust to get the work done without being absolutely terrified. Don't ruin your life being ashamed or embarrassed of the past because it can't be changed; instead focus on improving the future by continuing to take great care of your teeth and have the necessary dental work done.

I'm 21 and am in the process of having what they initially thought would be 12 fillings, but in reality is going to be only 9 fillings, done and like you, am ashamed because I should have taken better care of my teeth, however it was never a priority. All that matters is that we're taking care of them now rather than letting them rot and fall out.

 

[mrcouperin]

Thanks for such a quick response, Brittany48! It feels so reassuring to hear other people with similar stories. You're right, I shouldn't ruin my life with this constant feeling of regret. The root canal and crowns are probably the last stanza of a ballad that I'm quite frankly sick of reciting.

I guess I wouldn't feel quite so bad about it if my front teeth weren't involved. It's probably a miracle that the lower ones have escaped my bad habits unscathed.

 

[Brittany48]

Don't worry, I feel the exact same way. I've had two appointments in the last two weeks, and have two more in the next two weeks and then I'm done until I go for my next routine cleaning and have my wisdom teeth removed next year hopefully and I cannot wait to just be done with dentist appointments.

 

[mrcouperin]

I know exactly how you feel! I just want to have this over and done with!

The only thing is that I need to improve my gums a bit (i.e. they're a bit soft and inflamed) before the dentist can fit any crowns. I just hope that the decay that's left in the teeth won't progress too much before that can happen. :/

 

[Mugz]

Hi Tom,
Welcome! You'll quickly find you are in good company here as we've all put things off/ let things go/ and are works in progress for a variety of reasons. The important thing is just what Brittany pointed out. You are making changes now. From where I sit, you have MUCH to be VERY proud of!!!! You've made great progress in so many areas, Tom. None of the things you've overcome has been easy, I'm sure...so to the extent that you can, focus on what good you have done, strides you have made and positive direction you're headed. I think regret is much like guilt and worry, a "wasted emotion". I can think that but I worry like it's my second job (mostly about all things dental)...and guilt, well, bags are packed for the guilt trips I take too often but I'm getting better in that department.

As for the question about your gums swelling and decay before crowns, I wish I knew how fast that stuff grew. I need fillings that are on the verge of being root canals but "verge" is vague to me. I do know my dentist gave me this antibiotic rinse with a syringe to squirt around the inflamed teeth and gums - one that I'm supposed to have crowned Thursday. Maybe you could ask for a rinse to help calm the gums down? Just a thought.

 

[mrcouperin]

Hey Mugz! Thanks for all the lovely things you said. :3

I was mulling things over a bit last night, and I realised that shame is only going to take away my determination to keep up good brushing/flossing practices. I can't reverse the damage that's already been done: but I can make sure that it never happens again. Once I get these crowns or whatever in front (I definitely need two), I can maintain what I have by keeping up what I'm doing now.

It's good to know that there are people out there who've been in situations like mine before, and have overcome them. I'm so glad I joined up here!

 

[mrcouperin]

I can't stop obsessing over this one issue; it's driving me absolutely mad.

For the last several days, I've been replaying various nightmarish scenarios over and over again in my head. One minute, I have visions of all six of my front teeth turning black and withering away. The next, they develop characteristics of cartoon villains, hovering over me with the sound of maniacal laughter ringing portentously in my ears. I have visions of my future self going bankrupt, needing more dental work done, and lacking money to do that, ending up with a mouth full of rotten teeth. I have fantasies of travelling to the past and knocking my teenage self senseless for putting me in this position.

My logical side, of course, tells me (quite rightly) that this is all nonsense. I won't end up with six rotten teeth in front. However, every time I think about my teeth, the past I thought I had cast off comes back to haunt me, and I'm sick of it. Until I was about 18 or so, I never had a single cavity, and I so desperately want to go back to that. I don't want this legacy that my past self has left me with.

No matter how happy I can leave myself feeling, I always return to this seemingly default setting. What's wrong with me?

 

[Tome]

For the last several days, I've been replaying various nightmarish scenarios over and over again in my head. One minute, I have visions of all six of my front teeth turning black and withering away... What's wrong with me?

Well, it might help a little to cut yourself some slack You're doing really great. You're doing the things that will improve your mouth health. Cleaning your teeth. Flossing. Going to the dentist. Getting your problems fixed. That's all fantastic stuff. Everyone has their issues in life, but YOU'RE tackling yours. Go you

Being scared of the dentist doesn't make you a terrible person, but having the courage to overcome it and go makes you a BRAVE one

Imagine your nightmare happens. Well, it's pretty unlikely, but we're talking imagination. Ask yourself what you'd do after your teeth withered away and went black?

Well, I can tell you first of all that it's actually possible to recover the vast majority of withered and blackened teeth and get them looking good. You can do deep fillings, root canals, veneers, crowns which means your withered teeth would probably be saved.

But if it wasn't possible... worst case scenario, you'd get dentures. Which would be perfect teeth that would look good and never hurt again... But, you'd have a lot of life left and could slowly replace them with bridges, implants and so on.

Your teeth aren't going to bankrupt you any time soon... you'd go for the cheaper options until you saved up money to pay for the more expensive. Piece work.

 

[mrcouperin]

Well, it might help a little to cut yourself some slack You're doing really great. You're doing the things that will improve your mouth health. Cleaning your teeth. Flossing. Going to the dentist. Getting your problems fixed. That's all fantastic stuff. Everyone has their issues in life, but YOU'RE tackling yours. Go you

Aw, thanks! ^.^

I know, I'm doing all that stuff now. For nearly ten years, I rarely brushed my teeth at all, much less flossed. Now that I'm doing that on a daily basis, I've given myself a much-needed health boost.

I was sorting out files on an old external hard drive earlier today, and I found some photos of myself from 2006. I got the greatest shock of my life when I saw how my teeth looked in those photos. White, shiny and healthy, rather than the dull, cavity-ridden things I've got right now. By 2006, I was most definitely not brushing my teeth. Probably for two years at that point. I scratched my head as to how they could look like that with the habits I had then. It took me a few minutes before I realised what the missing ingredient was: Diet Coke.

It wasn't until 2007 that I started drinking that stuff. And certainly, by 2009, I was drinking a litre or two of the stuff every day - almost always from a bottle. That explains why my front teeth have got relatively more decay on them than the molars (which is the opposite of what you'd expect).

If there's one thing my experience so far has taught me, it's that Diet Coke is no healthier for your teeth than the sugar-ridden so-called Normal Coke that people know is bad for you. If only I hadn't started drinking that stuff, I mightn't have half the cavities I have now. Ah well.

 

[Spike 1969]

Hi Tom

Sorry it's taken me a little while to get to your thread.

I think pretty much everybody here has had phases of not taking the best care of our teeth, I agree diet drinks are pretty aggressive, I went through a stage of these but I've now switched to plain old water but I guess it's taken it's toll. I am kicking myself for not firing my previous dental practice for their money orientated, less than caring attitude before now but I can't change that and have had a great experience since I left them.

the most important thing is that you are tackling the issues in partnership with your dentist, which means you are now on a path to much better dental health and things will only get better, much respect to you!

The he great thing is that with modern materials and dentistry techniques; crowns and other treatments will look totally amazing once you have had them fitted and last a really long time it really is amazing how far dentistry has come in the last few years!

To put this in perspective, I had a couple of lapse periods in my late teens and 20s, I forced myself to go back, have had a fair bit of work done and still have all my own teeth bar one in my 40s (hoping to go back to a full compliment with an Implant soon).

You will be totally fine and will feel so much better once you have finished your journey, it sounds like you are already a good way there by now Don't beat yourself up too much, you are doing an amazing job.

Kind Regards

 

[mrcouperin]

Hey Spike1969, thanks for the reply! It's good to hear that your teeth are in such great shape now!

I suppose the thing that seeing how my teeth looked in 2006 (when I was 20) showed me is what they would look like now if I had taken care of them. Instead of having two (or possibly three) root canals, 10-15 fillings and a few crowns, I'd have a few fillings in back molars or something, but that would be all. I'd give anything to be able to prevent myself from drinking soft drinks in the past, but it looks like the best I can do is keep them out of my diet now.

A few sources I've come across have said that, with proper care, crowns could last well over ten years, and potentially for up to fifty. Is that really true? If it is, then I wouldn't feel quite so bad about getting them. It'd be amazing to have the option of keeping these crowns until I'm 78!