Venting: Dentist Appointment today...

[Justlookin]

(this is a monster size post.. I am so sorry that this wall-o-text is my first post! lol Im sorry that I seem to ramble about in it too...)

I just stumbled across this forum while looking for information on cavities. I created my account to look at some of the pictures in the thread I found and decided to check this support forum's other threads. Reading some of the threads so far as made me feel the need to express my own fears involving with my teeth.


Today at about 10:45 I have an appointment with my dentist. I am so nervous for this trip.


I guess I should explain some backstory first. Lets see, I'm a 29 and I've never really had a fear of dentists. I had my first dentist visit when I was 6 and I was super calm. The guy was surprised at how well I handled the drill because usually kids freaked out at it. My mom had told me about it before hand so I knew it was coming and I was otherwise a pretty laid back child. The dentist gave me such praise that I felt super happy to have been such a good little girl. So my first experiences with the dentist were pretty positive.


My family's always had money issues and they've only gotten worse as time goes on. I didn't get to visit the dentist regularly and so I didn't have another visit (that I can remember) till I was in 5th grade. I remember it was the day before FIELD DAY where we got to get out of school, go to the high school and participate in field and track events. I was so excited I couldn't even see straight. The night before field day I remember sitting in my room watching Tv and eating some french fries or raisins (or maybe both). I bit down on the food and had a sudden sharp pain shoot through my mouth. I had broken my back tooth clear in half! I don't remember if I swallowed the broken tooth or not. I was panicked. I didn't know you could DO that. Sure enough..the next morning I had an appointment with a new dentist...during my track and field day. I was so upset, angry and heartbroken to miss this day but I was happy to get the tooth fixed and pulled out. My dentist was amazing, he used to sing oldies tunes while working. We used him for what seemed like "a long time" to a child.


Some how, I guess because of money, we stopped going to the dentist. Everything was fine for me, I kept up with my dental care as much as a kid can. I wasn't one for flossing because it always caused my gums to bleed but I brushed my teeth every morning and every night. I remember one time in 6th grade I was in such a hurry that I forgot to brush my teeth. I sat on the bus, too late to turn back, when it dawned on me. I was so mortified I didn't want to open my mouth. After that I carried a travel tooth brush and tooth paste in my purse to use during lunch and incase that happened again.


Well, when I was about 14 things happened which took me out of the public school system. I went into homeschool and soon I no longer HAD to be up early in the morning and I no longer was required to leave the house. As time went by I got lazier with my dental care. I would go a day or two without brushing and a lot of the times I went to bed at night without brushing too. It wasn't so bad at first but as time went on it got to become "second nature"


I've pretty much kept this same routine my entire life. If I am up too late at night I won't brush my teeth because I am too tired and I'll just go on to bed. "It can't hurt to wait till morning." Sometimes I don't brush right away when I wake up because I hate eating breakfast when I have just brushed because it makes the food taste gross. If I get busy right after eating breakfast, there's been times I will completely forget to brush and just go about what I am doing for the day. At most I'll go 2 days w/o brushing, maybe 3 but by the third day I remember and I brush. The only times I remember ever going longer was either when I was super sick or the few times I've had dental surgery.


So I've had this routine since I was 14. I'm 29 and that makes it like 15 years with this routine. I've been lucky in that I never had any major dental problems. I also never went to the dentist because without problems I didn't need the dentist. And with the money situation of my family, "regular check ups" is a luxury.


I should also mention again that I don't have any fear of the dentist. However I do seem to have some sort of...aversion... to the mere THOUGHT of brushing. There's something about standing there, tooth brush in one hand, toothpaste in the other that gives me this weird reaction. The right side of my face will start to curl up around my nose in a disgusted look. I can just be thinking about brushing my teeth and that will happen. It's happened several times while righting this post. It happens while watching commercials and of course it happens as I am preparing my tooth brush. I've had it since I was a child and I have no idea WHY. I'm not afraid of brushing nor am I grossed out by it.. I just seem to have this..weird reaction to the idea of it. It doesn't stop me from brushing though. It's just really weird.


So I've had it pretty good up until recently. A few years ago I noticed that my tooth started to hurt. Because of my money situation I couldn't go to the dentist. So it just had to sit there and..well rot! The tooth was my wisdom tooth in the very back. Next I got another cavity in the wisdom tooth on the other side. The cavities got SO bad they were empty, jagged holes in my mouth where a tooth centre used to be. They were so bad that my face was swollen noticibly. The pain was so bad especially during winter that hardcore painkillers didn't even numb it. I could feel the pain throbbing and I looked at hammers with longing eyes because I thought a nice smash in the face would solve all my problems. At this time I was not in control of my life so I had no money to go on to the dentist despite being in such pain. I just had to suffer in silence. Eentually the pain was so bad that the one in control of my health finally had to let me go to the dentist. After over 10 years not seeing my singing dentist I returned. I was embarrssed and afraid he would tell me my entire mouth was rotten and I'd need dentures. I was also surprised to see how old he got in the last 10 years...grey hair whoa! It turned out I only had the 2 back wisdom teeth. "Its ok, those always go first." he said... It wasn't "my" fault.. you know not really I thought because it couldn't be helped.. when you have wisdom teeth the germs in your mouth pooled up around them, my dentist said. The bad part was that I had to have ORAL SURGERY to take them out to the tune of 600+ dollars. I had to borrow the money to get the surgery done. In the end they had to cut me up something wicked because my tooth roots were so long they wrapped around my jaw bone. Crazy.


I thought my problems were over at that point. I kept the same routine as always.. it never steeered me wrong. Those were just problems with my wisdom teeth. Well.. I got another tooth ache...and eventually had to go back to the dentist. This was the tooth that was next to one of the rotten wisdom teeth. I went in to the dentist feeling icky but otherwise confident. It was just that one tooth...boy was I wrong. I had to have a root canal my dentist said and I was like "oh heck no. i cant afford it, pull that sucker out." he pulled it out but he had more news. I had a cavity in a tooth onthe upper left of my mouth. It also needed a root canal and I was like FFFFFFFFFFFFFu- to myself because I just said I can't afford that! I also had................................a cavity in my front tooth.


All the wisdom teeth and molars in the world I dont care about.. but my front tooth! That hurt! How do you get a cavity in the front like that? I said. My mom made me feel pretty bad telling me i had bad dental care habits. I swear I dont do anything different than Ive ever done and I kept regularly healthy teeth till that point. We think I mus thave enherited my dad's bad teeth but i dunno. I have wracked my brain over the last few months trying to pin point the cause and the only thing I can think of that i have done differently in the past years since I had my wisdoms taken out was that I included Coke Classic to my regular diet. I read that it caused spikes in tooth cavities and it seemed the only possible explination. Ive since stopped drinking coke because i dont want to get more cavities.


So that brings me to today. I am going to the dentist finally, using money Ive horded away from a christmas gift from my grandpa to pay for part of this visit. I was too ashamed to call (part ashamed of the tooth, part phobia of talking on the phone) so my mom called for me. I've had dreams that my tooth has rotted out and that all my teeth have fallen apart and Im very nervous. Im afraid that when I go in my dentist is going to be ashamed of me. I haven't had the best life in my 29 years so I already have enough emotional baggage from that that seems to just cart itself over into my dentist issue. Im afraid he's going to lecture me on not having taken care of my teeth and tell me he cant fix it. The cavity is on the very edge of the tooth between the 1st left front tooth and that tooth that's next to it (its on that tooth, not the front one). The hole popped open by accident when I broke it with a tooth pick one day. So embarrassing. Ive tried to keep an extra hold on it to "hold back" the cavity but it spreads anyway. I see a chip in my front tooth now and a white streak next to it. And the tooth next to the cavity tooth has a dark spot where the two teeth touch and there's another cavity hole forming on that side of my cavity tooth. I'm so nervous he's going to be so livid with me for being so stupid as to not keep my teeth clean. I just keep trying to steel myself to these thoughts and not let them effect me. But im still nervous. :C Im afraid that its going to look ugly if I get a filling since my teeth are stained from the large amounts of tea that I drink. Im also afraid he will be mad that my cavity has spread to the teeth that touch that front tooth and also that the back tooth that used to sit next to the tooth i had removed last year has recently broke in half.


Im not so muchworried about that broken tooth and the one that needs a root canal on the upper side as I have already decided if those both need root canals I'll just have them pulled and save up to get implants put in their place. Its just the front teeth that are making me so sad and what the dentist might say that has me all in knots.


Its 8:53am for me right now and I will be leaving in the next hour to head to my appointment. ((((( I am sure it wont be as bad as it seeems (at least I really hope so) but that doesn't stop me from getting worked up now.


Anyway....if anyone made it through this post thank you so much for reading! I just really needed to vent and get this off my chest! I didnt even know that I was carrying all this but apparently I have been weighed down by all this shame for so long! I already do feel a lot better. I hope i have good news later and I'll gladly post a reply with what my dentist said if anyone is interested. Thank you for giving me a place to vent! Bless everyone!

 

[Rainbowbrite]

Hi there,

So how was the appointment? Did it go well?

I am petrified of the dentist too but possibly yours stems from the feeling that if you go you miss out on something more important.

I hope it gets better, it is hard to break a habit but you will see, if you stick to it you can do anything, if you WANT to change you CAN change.

Hope everything went well.

 

[kitkat]

Hey Justlookin!
You probably have had your appointment by now or are there as we speak but I wanted to wish you luck anyway. I hope that the dentist did not give you a lecture, these days that seems to be less common...in fact, dentists should be happy to get people who need a lot of work because it's good job security. I don't think that oral hygiene is the entire reason for why people get cavities so I wouldn't beat yourself up about it...there is as you said, genetics, diet, and reflux can even cause them...my dentist always says that my mouth is very clean when I go and that I keep up well on hygiene but I almost ALWAYS have at least 1 cavity! So see?! Doesn't matter what we do or don't do sometimes! It doesn't sound like you have fears related to the work itself which is good...I think once you are able to find a caring and kind dentist who is willing to work with you, things will get much better. If money is the main issue you can look into carecredit or some dentists offer payment plans (in the USA)...if you are in the UK...I'm sure someone on here can give you advice about that but I wouldn't know much about it unfortunately (I live in the states). Anyway, please let us know how you got on and if the dentist lectures you or put you down, find another one! YOU are the customer and do not have to put up with that type of treatment. Best of luck today!

 

[Justlookin]

Thank you for the replies! I just got in from the appointment. It was a lot harder than I thought it was going to be. I assumed it was just a small cavity on the side of that tooth and would be cleared up quickly and filled. Since it'd been "discovered" only a year ago I thought I was in the clear. Getting the Xrays of the tooth my dentist had some grimm news for me: He said I would need a root canal! I was terrified, we don't have that kind of money! I was so ashamed.

Oh and my dentist is an awesome dentist. As I mentioned before he sings oldies and stuff while working which makes the process less frightening. Especially when it's a song I also like and want to join in but I can't with a drill in my mouth! LOL Since we've been with him so long, even though we don't come in often, he knows that we're good for paying him for the services so we're able to pay in chunks.

Anyway, back to my appointment. So when I heard him tell me I needed a root canal in the front I was about to die right there. He said he could see the nerve and when you see the nerve the only thing to do is root canal. I asked if there was any chance that we wouldn't have to do a RC since I don't have THAT kind of money. He said there was like a 3% chance that it could be saved without a RC, he would have to see.

So they laid me back, rigged my mouth up and set to work. I spent the whole time fighting back my nervous tick-like gag reflex where I can't stop swallowing over and over and feel like I am suffocating. The whole time I had to fight back that feeling of suffocating. In part it helped keep me from getting too panicky and starting to cry. I also said the longest prayer ever. LOL "Please just don't let it be a root canal"

There was a lot of drilling (which I don't mind) and flicking on lights and stuff but I didn't see it as he made me keep my eyes closed. At one point I heard him say "Wooden Wedge" and I was like "OH NO I AM GOING TO HAVE A WOODEN TOOTH? Call me Miss George Washington!" After a while he told me I was "doing good." and giving me positive words and I started to get hopeful. Then I heard the word "Curing" and they went from my problem tooth on to the tooth next to it that had developed a cavity. After a bit they were removing all the stuff on my face (boy did my jaw hurt from biting down so hard!) and checking my brand new fillings. They gave me a mirror and said that I "probably couldn't tell the difference" between my tooth and the filling. ...I couldn't! I was like "...where is it?" and the dentist gave a laugh! I was so confused. Was this a temp filling before I had the root canal? So I said "So..do I still need a root canal?" and he said that I didn't! He was able to save my tooth!

I've never been SO relieved!!! I would have hugged him if I wasn't dizzy!

So that's how my appointment for today went. I found out I didn't need the root canal after all since he was able to save it. I did however find out that almost all my front teeth had the same cavity and so I will need to have more work done on the other side next month. After that he will tackle the hollow upper tooth he said needed a root canal to see if he can fix it and then try and fix the broken bottom tooth. I've never been so thankful to have a filling ever!!


He did not really lecture me, thankfully, but he was disappointed. He told me I needed to floss more and I replied that flossing cut my gums so I had an aversion to it as a kid. And he told me that because of not flossing I would have to pay thousands of dollars to save my teeth. (This was before he was able to save me the root canal) The receptionist told my mom that if I just brushed more often I wouldn't even need to floss which is true. Only last night I realized that I have been brushing wrong all these years. I brushed in a way that never touched the teeth that had the cavity issue. Now that I know what I did wrong I plan to fix it and do it better!


So that was my appointment... shorter than I thought it was going to be and thankfully not as bad! Now I just have to wait for the numbness in my face to go away! It is numb all the way into my forehead and has my lip swollen like I've had botox! LOL And it itches like crazy too! I'm too concerned to eat right now with my face this way even though I am starved so I think I will take a nap instead. Thanks for the replies again and thanks for letting me vent! I've kept these feelings locked inside for so long and denying them that it was obviously bad for my health!