Why didn't my dentist openly acknowledge my dental anxiety triggers?

[Ester]

My regular dentist sold his practice recently. I had to see the new guy who bought the practice for two procedures on 2 different days. I was very anxious at the first appointment and told him so. We established a stop signal, but I was too afraid to use it.

Fast forward a couple of days later to the second appointment. I was really anxious that day and I ended up writing down a list of my triggers and told him I'd like this to be put in my file. I don't know if he read it (he may have just skimmed it on the spot). He didn't talk to me about it. In fact, when I went in for another procedure last week (I didn't see him, I saw my regular dentist), he didn't talk to me about it then, either.

I'm not happy that he didn't acknowledge my fears. I don't know if I have a right to be mad about this. Writing that list of triggers was a big step for me. Before I gave him that list, we established a stop signal, but I was too afraid to use it. Anyhow, maybe I should see a psychologist or something. I don't know. When it comes to dental treatment, I feel like the anxiety takes over so much that I can't even think clearly.

So I guess my question is: Do dentists talk to their clients about these things or do they think it's not necessary when they think they've already done all they can (e.g., establish a stop signal, etc.)? I'm considering going to a different dentist because of this.

 

[Jenny_92]

First of all, Good for you to write down your triggers!
Secondly, you should never be afraid to use your stop signal with a dentist. If your dentist was a good one he would understand if you needed a break. Was there a specific reason you were afraid?

Also, the fact your dentist didn't take the time to talk to you about your triggers and making the dentist more comfortable for you is not a good sign.

I say you have two options. The first would be to talk to your dentist. E-mail, in person or whatnot and confront them. Ask them if they are willing to come up with a plan to help with the triggers you have and why they seemed to ignore you before.

Option two would be to get a different dentist. Which I would be considering even I chose to go with option one.

You also have every right to be mad and your dentist should acknowledge the triggers and discuss them with you.

Hope this helped!

 

[moonbunny]

I agree with Jenny, I think he should have taken the time to read the list and speak to you about it. Even if just to convey that he really read it and comprehended your problems.

 

[comfortdentist]

Dentist here agrees

 

[norwegianchick]

Ditto what Jenny says, talk to them or get a different dentist.

It's important that your dentist, or any health care provider for that matter, listens to you. Otherwise they can't help you, and it includes knowing about what makes you comfortable.

You need to know that your dentist listens to you, so that you can build trust, I think that's why you couldn't use the stop signal. A good dentist actually wants you to use the stop signal, so they know that you are not suffering in silence. They really do not want to inflict pain.

I think you did good so far, now make sure your dentist does equally well.

 

[Ester]

Thank you, everyone, for your comments and words of encouragement. I've struggled with dental anxiety for 25 years and have felt so alone all this time, like nobody understands. The reason I can't use a stop signal is because when I was a child, I was telling the dentist to stop what he was doing, but he didn't. In fact, he yelled at me and got the assistant to hold me down while he continued drilling. So I guess it's no wonder I have a lot of dental anxiety.

I'm really happy to have found this forum with individuals who understand what it's like to be terrified of dental treatment. I'm going to call a new dental office tomorrow morning, one that specializes in treating dental anxiety/dental phobic individuals, and see where that goes.