T
Theblurredface
Member
- Joined
- May 15, 2020
- Messages
- 33
- Location
- Europe
Not sure where to begin with this. I have a crippling phobia of going to the dentist for reasons I can't quite pinpoint but it's so bad I haven't been for about 6 years. I only went 6 years ago because I had an accident and smashed my front tooth in half. It took many many hours of me panicking and crying and screaming to sort that out. I got to the end of it which felt amazing for about 5 seconds until they said that I had a cavity.
I really really wish I'd forced myself back into the chair right then and there, but I didn't, I noped out of there and didn't do anything about it.
I never really saw it as a legitimate problem either, it worried me, but I have other mental health issues and tried to kill myself a couple of years after that. I never expected to be alive now as a 20 year old if I'm honest and that's a big part of why I let it get that bad.
I haven't dared look at it for a long time (it's a back tooth) but it hurts at least a little every day now, on and off. The tooth I had repaired doesn't seem to have had a very good job done on it and part of the repair has broken and my front teeth don't line up anymore, I suspect they'll find other issues once they look. I'm terrified to even know. I don't want anyone else to know either like the dentist or my parents who I'm still dependent on. I'm ashamed of it and feel disgusting.
But I know I absolutely have to, one of these days the pain will get really bad or I'll get a fever or something and I'll have no choice. I think the only way I can is in a place that specialises in anxious patients and uses sedation. The prospect still makes it hard to breathe but I genuinely want to try it. But I'm really worried about the cost of that kind of thing. It's available in my city and my parents probably would pay for it as they'd be over the moon I'm going to the dentist, but I suspect it would cost hundreds or thousands depending on what I needed and I have no idea how they'd pay for it. I don't even know how to ask for it because I don't want to talk about it, it's genuinely triggering. I also don't want to tell them I've ignored pain and made everything worse, if I had to chat with them about any of this it would probably make me feel so bad overall that I'd be incapable of going anymore and I don't deserve them spending lots of money on it.
They're in the mindset now of not even thinking about it, I haven't been for years and they don't know I'm in pain, I can't just book an appointment and go because I can't afford to pay for it so I'm gonna have to loop them in somehow. And then somehow actually go. And maybe the clinic will specialise in anxious patients but still be terrible. I just don't know if I can do any of it.
Please don't judge me, just give me any advice that might help.
I really really wish I'd forced myself back into the chair right then and there, but I didn't, I noped out of there and didn't do anything about it.
I never really saw it as a legitimate problem either, it worried me, but I have other mental health issues and tried to kill myself a couple of years after that. I never expected to be alive now as a 20 year old if I'm honest and that's a big part of why I let it get that bad.
I haven't dared look at it for a long time (it's a back tooth) but it hurts at least a little every day now, on and off. The tooth I had repaired doesn't seem to have had a very good job done on it and part of the repair has broken and my front teeth don't line up anymore, I suspect they'll find other issues once they look. I'm terrified to even know. I don't want anyone else to know either like the dentist or my parents who I'm still dependent on. I'm ashamed of it and feel disgusting.
But I know I absolutely have to, one of these days the pain will get really bad or I'll get a fever or something and I'll have no choice. I think the only way I can is in a place that specialises in anxious patients and uses sedation. The prospect still makes it hard to breathe but I genuinely want to try it. But I'm really worried about the cost of that kind of thing. It's available in my city and my parents probably would pay for it as they'd be over the moon I'm going to the dentist, but I suspect it would cost hundreds or thousands depending on what I needed and I have no idea how they'd pay for it. I don't even know how to ask for it because I don't want to talk about it, it's genuinely triggering. I also don't want to tell them I've ignored pain and made everything worse, if I had to chat with them about any of this it would probably make me feel so bad overall that I'd be incapable of going anymore and I don't deserve them spending lots of money on it.
They're in the mindset now of not even thinking about it, I haven't been for years and they don't know I'm in pain, I can't just book an appointment and go because I can't afford to pay for it so I'm gonna have to loop them in somehow. And then somehow actually go. And maybe the clinic will specialise in anxious patients but still be terrible. I just don't know if I can do any of it.
Please don't judge me, just give me any advice that might help.