Advice and encouragement much in need pls

[Suki84]

Hi
I am a new member and just reading some of the stories on here makes me feel so much more at ease however I am currently not a patient at any dentists and fear I wont have a choice of where I go and will end up with a horrid dentist.

I am 23 years old,and when i was little i saw a dentists as i should.But from being about 12 I stopped going due to developing a phobia of teeth and gums. This may sound ridiculous but honestly I cant bear touching my teeth and just looking into my mouth in a mirror terrifies me, I think this is stemmed from me being afraid of what I may find.

So I saw a dentist again at age 16 who gave me a few white fillings and tha was fine. But then didnt go again until 4 years ago,now I will hold my hands up and say that my oral hygiene growing up left much to be desired and I rarely cleaned my teeth. Right up to the past few years in fact. So when my gums started bleeding quite a lot when i brushed them,i thought i should stop brushing. Then my first wisdom tooth came along and got infected and i had to bite the bullet and join a dentist due to the enormous pain i was in.I was given antibiotics and appt with the hygienist. She was nice but did not give me any numbing agents at all prior to blasting my teeth with cold water and scraping plaque away...which left me in agony.I told her i was but she said she had nearly finished,also mid procedure i must have bled a lot from the gums and i heard her ask downstairs for a larger suction apparatus which terrified me. Hence i never went back for the second treatment i needed, she had said it would onlytake 2 treatments to put me on the road to recovery so now i feel like such an idiot for not going back.

So now my mouth has been in agony for the past 2 weeks,due again to wisdom teeth,although now the tooth has come through that isnt painful anymore but the other side at the top i feel something sharp diggin into my cheek,i dont know if this is a wisdom tooth or if one of my normal ones has broken,but would i not have realised this when it came off? Anyway i cannot eat,cant speak it hurts tht much and my mouth on the whole feels pretty tight as if all of a sudden my jaw has shrunk? I have startted tormenting myself with the idea that all of my teeth must be loose and must be slowly dropping out of my gums which is why my mouth feels so tight, when i put my teeth together they meet on one side sooner than the other??

I have also seen the state of my gums at the front top and bottom and while they do not hardly bleed when i brush,they are very red and form little triangular bubbles instead of laying flat against my teeth.

I have to ring up my mums dentist tomorrow as they are taking on nhs pts but i am terrified they wont accomadate my massive fear and will do lots of things to me on the day that i am not prepared for and wont help with pain.

I know this is long,im so sorry but im so glad to get it off my chest to people who i think will understand, i am so so scared of what they willl say to my gums at the dentist and try to kid myself tht because im young they wil actually all be ok my teeth....is this unrealistic??

Im a nurse in a hospital and also have fear of needles coming at me,i can give them to my patients but hate the thought of having them...how ridiculous is that going to sound to a dentist if he asks what i do for a living?I feel like a right fool.

 

[takingflight]

Hi Suki and !!

You are definitely not a fool. I'm willing to bet there are a lot of nurses and doctors out there who rather give a shot than receive one! We are also glad you joined us, it's always helpful to know there are others that feel the same way you do. Of course it's even better to see so many get through treatment, it's a great sign that a bit of support from those of us that have been there will help you get to that point also.

There is hope that things aren't as bad as they seem. There have been members who were convinced that their teeth and gums were far worse than they turned out to be. I for one thought that after 17 years of not going and a horrible dental past I would probably need most, if not all of my teeth pulled. They didn't need to pull any, not even my wisdom teeth. Granted, my teeth are almost all fillings and many will eventually need crowns but they are still there! You may find that a good deep cleaning and perhaps a filling or two will have you back on the road to dental health!

You mention your Mom's dentist, does she have kind things to say about the staff? Have you confided in her about your fear? If you know that they are compassionate and gentle it may help you to feel more at ease when you first go. The most important thing is that you find someone you are comfortable with. If you go there and don't find them to be to your liking, take a bit of time and search for someone else. You deserve to go to a dentist that treats you well and understands your needs. Don't settle for anything less!

You are paying more attention to your mouth now that you are planning to visit a dentist so everything may be magnified. I dealt with a dull, occasional throb in my cheek from a tooth that I knew was chipped for over a year. It really didn't occur to me how constant the throbbing pain was was until I finally decided it was time to make a dental appointment. Suddenly it bothered me all day and I was convinced the tooth would be pulled. It did need a root canal but that took care of the ache!

Luckily the gums seem to respond well to a little TLC, both from the dentist and your diligent home care. I had a few pockets in my gums but a good cleaning, antiobitics placed in the pockets (not painful in the least, promise!), the use of an oral irrigator (like a water pik) and plain old fashioned brushing and flossing made most of them disappear. The bleeding may occur initially but as the gums get healthier it will stop. I would mention the pain you experienced the last time you had a deep cleaning so your dentist/hygienist can take steps to make sure that you have no discomfort.

Best of luck as you start your dental journey. Soon you'll be back on track and showing off your beautiful and healthy smile. Let us know how you are doing and how we can support you!

Take care,


Pam

 

[Suki84]

Hi Pam
Thank you so much for your kind words. I agree with what you say about it being magnified as I dont think I have ever looked at my teeth and mouth so much in the mirror, I keep expecting to see something terrible.

The pain in my cheek is so so bad,this tooth is clearly really sharp,and the thing that worries me is that if the dentist is not sympathetic to me that it will take so long to find another that I will just not cope with the pain,at work obviously my job requires me to do a lot of talking and this is just so painful. Painkillers dont help because the pain is from it constantly pressing into my cheek.I hope that they can just file the tooth or something.

My mum says they are nice but she has no fear of the dentist so i worry about whether they are only nice because she is not bothered by them and that i am so pathetic that they wont have any time for me.The last dentist told me if i kept flinching everytime she touched my mouth she would not be able to do her job properly! Hence my fear of seeming stupid.

My mums dentist is the only one in my area i know of that is taking on dentists,tomorrow i am planning on phoning everyone in my area and asking if they are,if they are then i will ask them if they cater for nervous patients and to refer me to the most kind dentist they have haha. I am also taking my siister for support whn i finally get an appt.

I will be letting you know how i get on.

 

[takingflight]

My mum says they are nice but she has no fear of the dentist so i worry about whether they are only nice because she is not bothered by them and that i am so pathetic that they wont have any time for me.The last dentist told me if i kept flinching everytime she touched my mouth she would not be able to do her job properly! Hence my fear of seeming stupid.

I'm sure they are nice. Even if your Mom has no fear, if they weren't friendly she probably wouldn't continue going to them. Give them a call and let them know straight away that you are a very nervous patient and ask them if they are prepared to deal with it. The response you get may signal whether you should check around for other dentists. Hopefully they will say it's no problem and you will soon have an appointment with someone who will take things at your pace and help get you out of pain.

I am also taking my siister for support whn i finally get an appt.

I will be letting you know how i get on.

Taking your sister is a fantastic idea. Some of our members have mentioned that they needed to go alone but for me, having my hubby there was very helpful. During the consultation they even let him come in and stay for the check-up. I wasn't expecting them to call him back but I immediately felt calmer having him there. I'm sure the support she can provide will help put you at ease.

I look forward to hearing your success story!!!

 

[scaredstiff]

A big welcome to you Suki, quite a favourite name of mine, but won't tell you why for the moment.

however I am currently not a patient at any dentists and fear I wont have a choice of where I go and will end up with a horrid dentist.
Firstly, try and get it out of your head that you won't have a choice and will end up with a horrid dentist. No way. You are the patient, the client, so to speak and you go round every single dentist if needs be till you find one with whom you are comfortable. If you go onto the dentist finder link at the top of the page, hopefully there will be some recommendations in your area. If not, let us know your location, obviously not address, just general idea and perhaps someone will be able to recommend someone. Word of mouth is always best.

Yours is a familiar story, and we all understand completely, and we've all been exactly where you are now, thinking we're going to lose all of our teeth. Honestly, if your teeth were loose and you were going to have to lose them all, you would know about it. The reality is every single one of us on this site has an over-active imagination, that's what part of being a phobic is, the second reason for our imaginations is that we are human It's just part of our make up and without it we'd be a pretty boring species. But we all think our teeth are the worst in the world, the dentist, when we get to go, will never have seen anything so bad, will be horrified at us, tell us off for neglecting our teeth. Absolute fairytales, old wives tales. Nothing of the sort will happen. When you get yourself to a dentist, and they have changed considerably, the right one will be undestanding, empathetic, a real friend and help you to a healthy mouth again and above all will praise you for being sensible in coming to get your teeth sorted out and healthy again.

Your bleeding gums (and I'm not swearing) could probably be cleared up quite easily with a cleaning.

At least your mother's dentist is a starting point for you, and let's hope they will be the right one for you. I think its brilliant that you are able to ring yourself, so many of us couldn't do that but either had to get someone to ring on our behalfs or make that initial contact by email. So you are being very brave in being able to do that, but do be honest with them, tell them about your fears, they will understand and it makes it easier for them if they do know about you, your worries and concerns. It's no good bluffing it and trying to put on a brave face. There's no shame in crying, shaking, shivering or whatever.

So you have a fear of needles too, again so many of us here do, me included. But injections can be given quite painlessly, though I know it's not only the thought of pain with needles that gives one a fear. I have a high threshold of pain and yet I see a needle coming towards me and well....but this isnt about me, its about you.

So I do hope you can get yourself an appointment with this dentist and that he works out to be the one for you. I would say that if you didnt have such pain, your first appt would be consultation only when you could have a long chat and decide upon a treatment plan but obviously, your pain has to be dealt with.

Do let us know how you get on tomorrow, whether you do in fact make an appointment, or start the search for another dentist.

You've done marvellously at opening up to us all here and we really do hope we can help support you through whatever you have to face.

 

[brit]

Hi Suki84
The others have given you excellent advice...I just wanted to add:
When phoning your Mum's dentist, ask how they can help nervous patients, not if they take nervous patients (everyone does but not all make any allowances). You could also get something from your GP to relax you if you need it. (I suspect you don't need this though)

You may not get much joy from a receptionist in which case, make the appointment and then discuss your needs with the actual dentist who is the one with the ability to meet your preferences...whatever they may be.....from your description I would say adequate pain relief for any cleanings is a major priority for you....this is not rocket science and is easy to provide although not all hygienists can give LA themselves and may have to ask the dentist to administer it.....maybe this was the problem last time...totally out of order though....and as you saw it led to your not going back. There are also numbing gels (e.g. Oraqix) they can use which don't involve needles.

As Scaredstiff says dental injections are the most comfortable type known to man given properly....never found them painful at all myself. (Numbing gel and slow delivery).

Your sister or anyone going into the treatment room with you should not be an issue in UK NHS...there is nearly always a chair for parents accompanying kids and you have a right to a 'support person' in most medical situations.

We have heard from posters on here of people being told by NHS dentists that the NHS standard clean is not sufficient for their gum condition....if your gums are sore and bleeding it is important to get them back on the road to dental health so be prepared to maybe pay a bit extra for this....if you can't find an NHS dentist to your liking then if you are working, maybe make 'dental' one of your priority areas and treat yourself to a private dentist who will take the time for you to build a relationship and get over your fears and concerns. Often times all it takes is a bit of TLC from the practitioner (who won't have moved on the next time you go) for you to start to feel much better about the whole process.

I know you will be fine whichever route you take but it is important to take action....as for the wisdom teeth, these can be sore coming through....by going to the dentist now you can probably get a referral for possible removal under i/v sedation or GA down the line in an NHS hospital (free), should this be necessary.

Does your sister go to the same dentist as your Mum? Have you asked friends for back-up referrals?

Here are the links to cleanings which will show you what could be involved:

What happens during a dental cleaning (scale and polish)?

Dental cleanings involve removing plaque (soft, sticky, bacteria infested film) and tartar (calculus) deposits that have built up on the teeth over time. Your teeth are continually bathed in saliva. Your saliva contains calcium and other substances which help strengthen and protect the teeth...

www.dentalfearcentral.org

Deep Cleaning

Is deep cleaning painful? This article describes what happens during scaling and root planing, and what it feels like.

www.dentalfearcentral.org

All the best

 

[Suki84]

Thanks again for your time to reply. Well I am awake due to the pain and each time I start to drop off I wake by grinding my teeth.I have spoken to my sister who says to try her hubbys dentist first as he also had bad experiences and had to have his top teeth removed and his dentist was fantastic apparantly so I am going to try them before my mums. My idea for ringing myself is that I want to ensure they realise just how scared I am and if they hear the terror in my voice the receptionist may be honest with me and say they dont have what it takes to care for nervous patients...I hope they dont.

It was a private clinic I went to when I started the cleaning process but evidently they just did not put me at ease at all and it put me off.

I keep rehearsing the things i want to say to the dentist and i am going to tell the receptionist i cant just sit in THE chair straight away i will need to talk to the dentist first to put me at ease and to explain to him how i want to be treated..god what a nightmare patient i am going to be! It sounds really good in my head but I know when I am faced with the reality I am going to burst into tears as soon as i walk in the room!!! My sister has assured me should i be in any pain she will make sure they stop if i give her a signal as well as the dentist.This puts me at ease.

My mouth just feels so strange to me at the moment as if overnight something really big has happened in it. I made the huge mistake of looking at images of periodontal disease on the web and cried for ages earlier cos i think i am pretty far down that road,my gums are in fact receeding away from my front teeth. The side and back look pretty good,its always been the front top and bottom that are the worst affected.

I will let you know how the ringing around goes and what happens I promise. I simply cant put up with this pain any longer,i am on nights tues an weds an will be exhausted not to mention starved to death if this isnt sorted soon.I am already existing on one meal a day as of 2 weeks ago.

Keep ur fingers crossed pls pls.x

 

[scaredstiff]

Yes, our fingers are all crossed around the globe, makes typing a bit difficult so forgive any typing errors. Good for you on wanting to make the calls yourself. What I would suggest you do, because you have questions, we all do, crowding your mind but when you actually speak to someone or go to see the dentist they could pop out of your mind, so do write them down, make a list, doesn't matter how long it is. At the time of your visit if you feel you cannot physically ask the questions yourself, then you have a list ready to hand over to the dentist. It really does help and makes sure you don't come away thinking, "Wish I'd remembered to ask that" and be left with unanswered questions because you forgot to ask.

Sorry you had another painful night, but your determination now to ring round will get you into a dentist for treatment sooner than later so you're really on a way to a painfree mouth. Do keep us posted on your progress today.

 

[Suki84]

Hi guys,I posted an update in my journal space but I have got into a dentist and first appt next tues 10.45 so need to swap my shift around and get the day off,my mum looked in my mouth earlier as a practice and she said it is defo a wisdom tooth coming through and it is really sharp so that is what is causing the pain. Im a bit relieved as it just wil need filing down hopefully rather than a broken tooth that may need pulling. But my gums at the bottom are sore and im sure my tooth is a bit wobbly..darent wobble it too much in case it pops out.

I am still debating what to do over this emergency dentist? Go or not?

 

[afeared]

Suki84, you have definately come to the right place for support and advice!

I am only a little older then you but was in a somewhat similar position about a year ago. While I had been good at brushing my teeth, my parents never really emphasized the importance of flossing...and I am sure you guys can pretty much guess the rest of the story!

....one day it finally hit me that I really needed to improve my oral hygiene which I did, however, like so many people here, I was scared stiff to go to the dentist, figuring he/she would be upset with what he/she would find.

My dentist appointment was not as bad as I anticipated. I had prepared myself to hear that my teeth needed to be pulled, or some other major type of work. Fortunately, all I needed was a simple cleaning!!! I absolutley could not believe it!

Anyways, I hope my experience helps encourage you to make the right decision for yourself (going to the dentist!). Although I cannot garentee anything, things probably are not as bad as you think.

 

[scaredstiff]

That's an absolutely lovely message you've posted Afeared and really reflects just what so many around your age group will probably experience too - nothing half as bad as being afraid of or imagining all the time before going to a dentist. I am sure this is going to do so much to encourage lots of new members to get themselves into that dentist chair.

 

[Suki84]

Thanks for the advice guys.Well news,this morning at the end of my dreadful shift where not only did the wisdom tooth hurt,my front bottom teeth also hurt so bad and i feared that one of them was becoming loose and got that worked up i nearly threw up and became all clammy...lucky me working in hospital eh ha. But so now again i darent sleep,i have had 3 hours and am back on tonight. But anyways at the end of the shift i saw the sister on the ward who is a very good friend of mine and she asked me what dentist i had got in and told me not to go there. She told me that her dentist there had left and she had seen a lady dentist who was dreadful and she is not even dental phobic,but she said she was rude and did not even look at her whilst speaking and also was very rough and hurt her gums and made her teeth hurt for days afterwards. So she told the receptionist that she would not be going back there and well they did not look surprised at all and even said that everytime someone comes out of her room its like groundhog day....bad eh.
So the sister said to them well does that not tell you something? But they were both young themselves and looked quite vulnerable.

So she advised me of this practice she has just joined,its private but she said they are dr's as well as dentists and so can sedate patients,she said they are lovely and you pay 9pounds a week and it covers ur checkups and ur work you need having.
So I called them this morning,just now and the receptionist was gorgeous,she said i could get in on monday morning or this week but it would cost me 90pounds to go in this week and she said to me that the dentist was so so nice and that i will just have a 20minute chat with him and then he will have a look and advise me any work that needs doing which i must pay for before i start the dental plan and that he wont do anything at all without me being happy. She told me she would make sure he knew i was nervous prior to my appt and that not to worry at all,that my teeth were probably not as bad as i was thinking as the pain was probably making me think things are worse than they are. So i am so so relieved.Terrified onthe other hand as i will be soon finding out the damage in my mouth and its extent...but sister said her mum has just joined there and she is phobic and she has not said one bad word about them and they have done quite a bit of work to her teeth with bridges etc...
Guys i feel better that i am defo heading in the way of getting my teeth/gums sorted. I am though scared of brushing my teeth now as the front ones feel so sensitive and like my gums are disappearing that i am scared iwill knock them out just by brushing....

 

[Sobby]

Hi Suki84,

I have replied to your post on my thread and thought I'd come and find you! (then i wrote loads here and accidentally deleted it!!!).

Anyway, you sound like you are in exactly the same position i was in a couple of weeks ago (though i am somewhat older than you!!!). I thought they would think i was stupid for being scared, stupid for not coming earlier, stupid for not going back last time and stupid for not looking after my mouth better!

There is so much on this site which is totally true! That it is YOUR CHOICE to go to the dentist! It is your mouth! They can't do anything without asking you first. Your teeth will not be the worst they have seen... etc etc.

I went to my mum's dentist and I burst into tears when i rang! The receptionist was great, really lovely. I also read a thing that says you should let your fear show - don't put on a brave face or try to hide it. Human beings (yes! They are human beings - receptionists, dentists, nurses, all of them) will tend to be more sympathetic if they see you are afraid! And who would show sympathy to someone who looks fine and dandy as if they are on their way to the park??

So if you cry (as I did), so what? Remember you are a grown up and if anyone treats you like a child, remind them that you are not one! Just a scared adult!

My dentist commented on how great it was that i had managed to get up the stairs from the waiting room to her surgery!

One thing to keep an eye out for. The receptionist at my dentist congratulated me for coming back. She also said, when it was time to go up, "would you like to... no, of course you wouldn't like to... Dr Larty is ready for you to go up now". She remembered (and i am sure it pops up on my record) that I am nervous. She has been lovely with making future appointments - she asked me what time I would be most comfortable - early or late on? She said - 'we'll give you a bit of a break' and made my next appointment a couple of weeks away. So, make sure they remember you are nervous, even though you may cope better at the subsequent appointments, doesn't mean you are over your fear!

Good luck. Please do go! It feels so much better to know than not knowing. And keep reading this wonderful site full of lovely, supportive people!

 

[Suki84]

Hi guys
I am trying to get an appt for today,the pain is just too much,and also i am worrying more and more.The pain from my wisdom tooth is spreading to my ear and cheek making me panic something is really wrong. And my gums just feel raw everywhere else,i cannot and do not want to go to sleep cos i keep biting down or grinding them and makes me want to scream out.

I am so so fd up.Thing is even at first appt i realise he might not be able to take the pain away altogether but if i know why its hurting it may hurt less if u no wot i mean? wish me luck in the appt stakes.Its gonna cost me a bomb and they have not paid me properly from work but to be honest it could cost me a grand at this point and i would go cos the pain is too much. My sis has said she would not be able to cope for as long as i have and also my fiance has said i am silly for not trying to get in sooner but they dont have as big a fear as me,though my sis is starting to realise just how scared i am now. She said if i cry she will cry cos im like one of her babies and she would rather do it for me than see me in terror.awww. anyways.x