Advice/ support desperately needed please

[S_L]

Hi - I'll try and keep this concise and ask for non judgemental help for someone who has got themselves into a serious situation with their oral health.

Long story short, I've had a lifetime dental fear and have gone to great lengths to avoid addressing the consequences of this. I can no longer do this. I am in a situation where I need treatment urgently, but I face issues of prfound shame that I allowed this to happen, fear of how to get help, fear of what costs any emergency treatment will cost (I am kind of off grid with any health services and I feel I'm going to need to find a place that can help me asap).

Longer term issues of treatment, costs, what I'm going to have to potentially go through are I fear for another day.

My first point of contact was via the email support of this forum, but I realise I need to seek wider support and not burden a single individual (who has been very supportive).

I'm located near to Plymouth and ideally need to find somewhere that can help me in the coming week. I appreciate any advice, support etc. I will post this and then come back later today - I'm in a fragile state and taking any steps are hard, but I can't run from this any longer.

 

[Jaycee767]

@S_L So sorry you are going through such anxiety and a need to address your problem urgently. Are you registered with a dentist in your area area? I am in East Devon and have managed to hang on to an NHS dentist is in fully understanding of my fears. I am sorry no one has yet replied to you. But Im happy to be of any support I can.

 

[justtryingtohelp]

@S_L First of all, well done for making this post. Taking that first step is often the hardest.

I'm a dentist, and I just want to reassure you that you're not alone. We regularly see patients who have avoided treatment for years because of fear or anxiety. A good dentist won't judge you or make you feel ashamed. Our priority is simply to help you get out of pain and move forward at a pace you're comfortable with.

When you call a practice, let them know that you have severe dental anxiety. Most practices will do their best to accommodate you and make the experience as comfortable as possible.

I have put together a short 6-page guide for people with dental anxiety that explains what to expect at the first appointment and a few techniques that have helped others. If you think it would be helpful, I'd be happy to send it over.

You've already done the hardest part by deciding to ask for help. Take it one step at a time. You've got this.

 

[S_L]

Thanks for the replies. I now have an emergency appointment for tomorrow morning. Naturally I am very scared at finally having to face up to my situation, but I have tried to emphasise the state I am in.

 

[letsconnect]

Best of luck for tomorrow morning @S_L . Keeping my fingers crossed for you.

Please let us know how you got on.

 

[S_L]

Hi - sorry for the delay in replying and for the length of this reply. Thanks to anyone who reads or skims this and responds.

The appointment was harrowing and has left a degree of PTSD. First up I must commend the dentist and assistant, because it was likely harrowing for all. Essentially they blasted away about 50% of built up plaque, with the intent to remove the rest at the next appointment next Wednesday.
This was an emergency NHS appointment, so I appreciate that they were able to do anything and understand there wasn't likely time to discuss what they were doing etc. I would say I am now in a better place than I was, but at the moment I can barely eat any solid food. I fear things will be worse after the next treatment.

I haven't magically overcome my lifetime dental fears and I do not know what the next steps will be beyond next week's treatment. Timelines, cost, length and degree of work required. These vast unknowns (for me) are scary and yet I cannot research this stuff to any degree myself as that also scares me.

I came to last week's appointment out of severe desperation and I had literally no idea what the outcome might be - from being whisked off to a hospital or declared beyond treatment. Now I know what I face next week, so the extremes of my imagination are removed but I know the specifics I face and that was extremely traumatic.

I realise this is rambling, and I suppose I'm seeking some reassurance or positive thoughts that anyone might offer. Everything potentially ahead of me just feels completely overwhelming at the moment.

 

[justtryingtohelp]

First of all, well done for attending the appointment and doing the treatment. What you just have done is more than just a “first step”. I’m proud of you.

Out of curiosity, did you inform the dentist about your dental dear?

For the next time I believe it would be good to communicate to the dentist and nurse that you would like to know all the steps of the treatment. I think that would make a huge difference to the experience.

Some discomfort after treatment is normal. You could always consult your dentist about what pain killers to take after the treatment.

Once again, I’m proud of you and you should be too. Good luck on the next appointment.

 

[S_L]

Thanks.

Yes I told them about my fears, although I think that was obvious! And they did ask as well, by way of wanting to know how I'd let things get so bad.

I'm lucky not to be in any pain, only mild discomfort (and limited to the things I can eat). I will ask more next week, the whole first appointment was overwhelming and I was in such a state I just felt so grateful that there was anyone helping me at all.

I'm also aware I'm very lucky to be getting emergency NHS treatment (I am not that well off financially) and the demands on their time probably means they have limits to how much time they can spend outside of the actual treatment to explain and talk through stuff. I have nothing but immense respect that they helped me last week.

 

[letsconnect]

@S_L I also want to add a huge “well done” . It sounds as if you went the most challenging route by seeing an "ordinary" NHS dentist for an emergency appointment rather than NHS special care services (I presume? correct me if I'm wrong! It would help to know which systems you were using and how you came to see that particular dentist).

You've done incredibly well and that I admire your courage and determination. Respect

 

[S_L]

I am in Cornwall, so I simply researched (or got AI to research) the emergency help line for dental treatment in Cornwall. I did not know of any specific special care service, although I was at least grateful (after a 50 minute wait to get through on the helpline number) that someone got me an emergency appointment for the following morning.

 

[letsconnect]

You could always ask if you can be referred to special care services . Though from my own Google/AI search, it appears as if emergency services and special care are delivered by the same Social Enterprise in Cornwall, which makes it a bit odd that they didn't pick up on how strong your fear is.

That's if it is the same dental group - if you like, you can send me a direct message to confirm where you went. If it's the same enterprise, I do have the email you can contact to hopefully get matched with a more suitable dentist.

Maybe you could try and explain to them, in writing, how you feel (and how you feel retraumatised after your last visit) and ask if they have any dentists that have special training in supporting phobic patients?