Can't tell anyone else

[fireandice1000]

I am 32, and have lost more teeth than I would like to admit. All 3 back molars on the bottom right, and losing both back bottom on the left. Lost 3 in total on the top and am now getting a hole between my 2 front teeth. I have many times had severe panic attacks over it, and am just SICK about it. I honestly don't even want to eat, all I want to do is sleep all the time. I have been suicidal at times, and even gone so far as to look up poisons on the internet, just to see how fast they work. I have never told anyone at all about why I have such fears, but I feel this is the only place I can do that. I was sexually abused by my orthodontist when I was 14, and my mother called me a LIAR and sent me there for 2 more years. My teeth are the way they are because my braces were left on 2 years too long, and weakened all my enamel. I can't even look at a dentist office without feeling like throwing up. I live in Canada, and am hoping that somehow, some way, I can get to a dentist who will just put me under GA and DEAL with this. I don't want to die, but I CAN'T live like this.

Please help me, I don't know what else to do.

I'm a newcomer to this forum and came across your story. I would have to say that it took a lot of courage to post here given what you have told us. I can't imagine how anyone in the medical field could abuse someone like that orthodontist did. I don't know how these people are able to practice in medicine or dentistry, to be honest. As for your mother not standing up for you, that to me is the ultimate betrayal. I'll be honest, I was shocked myself after reading your post here. I'm not sure what to say. I don't want to come across as being cold, but I cannot imagine what you went through.

15 years ago (I am two years younger than you) I had a minor surgery to remove an ingrown toenail. The doctor who did it didn't numb my toe 100% and you can imagine how fun that was. My mother didn't believe me at all when I told her about the pain and I still haven't forgotten about that to this day (and she works in the medical field). We eventually had to go to a podiatrist to fix the ingrown nail. He was cool and still is working as a podiatrist today. And my case wasn't anything close to what you had to go through.

The people that post here are a good forum. I've lurked for a bit here and while I don't know them very well I'm confident that you'll find a second home here. My own recommendation would be to find not only a dentist that understands where you come from, but a therapist that can help guide you through your past. If you can get them to work together (not sure if that's supposed to happen, MODs, correct me if I'm wrong) that's a plus. I know that a medical professional that lets you proceed at your pace is a good one.

Good Luck. DFC is here for you.

 

[Kim]

You are certainly in the right place for support and advice. As Carole will tell you, I am not very good at crying - hah I think I am the master of it, but I find if I don't let my tears out, my insides take a battering. I am very good at not letting people know sometimes how I really feel, but just lately, I have come to the conclusion that I need to do that, because if people don't know, then how can they help you - and once they do know, it is amazing how kind and understanding they can be.

I recently told one of my friends from work the treatment I was having, and she is coming to visit me on Thursday. We were 'chatting' on FB this morning and I told her to 'be prepared, be very prepared' when she sees me. Her response:

no probs hun ....... i will just see the beautiful you​

How lovely is that, and she will notice a difference I can tell you.

You have had so long of horrible things happening to you, that you probably don't feel that anything good should, but you would be wrong with that, because of course you deserve happiness and healthiness, and I soooooo hope that by coming on here and sharing your story, that you are finally on the path to get to you a good point in your life.

coming your way x

 

[MissM250]

Hey you! It's you, 8 years later with a new account and a new outlook. Guess what? You had your first cleaning today. you did amazing. I'm proud of us.

 

[Spider]

Amazing. I just read the whole thread, fully aware that it was from many years ago, wondering how it would end. The last post filled me with such joy <3.

 

[MissM250]

I was in SUCH a dark place when I wrote all of that. I can so clearly remember those days, abscess after abscess, always sick and always sad. I cannot believe what a different place I'm in now. <3