Dental anxiety is ruling my life

[Moonbaby]

Will try not to be too drawn out.
Had terrible dentist as a child and vowed when I was old enough and could make my own mind up I wouldn't go.
So I didn't, for years. I had my first child and during pregnancy had a few broken teeth and consequently infections that needed antibiotics.
Eventually found a dentist that I liked and trusted and he did a lot of work on my teeth, including root canals.
Then he retired! He recommended someone else that I then used until he also retired.
New dentist, I was very anxious on the first apt. Told him about my phobia, terrible gag reflex and general anxiety.
Altho he said the right things, I never felt like he understood or was sympathetic
He noted I had a fractured filling which consequently broke, stupidly I used a temp filling in it and it's gone down hill since then.
I have had 2 courses of antibiotics for infection in it. It's all I can think about, it's draining.
Dentist now says it needs extraction (my worst nightmare) he suggested oral sedation in the surgery or iv elsewhere.
Today he's rang to see what I wanted, now saying that it's a "surgical extraction" due to roots not being straight and that he wouldn't extract it.
I could never have done it anyway, but he's made me more anxious!
He's going to refer me for IV sedation but says it could be 6 months wait list
I have another tooth that needs a filling or RCT
Because of my gag I can't do x-rays, I had the full mouth thing at the hospital.
So dentist says prob get that removed too!
I've had panic attacks, vomited prior to every apt and it consumes my thoughts.
Tonight my husband says I need to be "an adult ' about it
Even with IV sedation the thought terrifies me.

 

[Enarete]

Hi Moonbaby ,

so sorry to read about your situation. It sounds like you have made a good progress with the previous dentists and now there is something about the new one that seems not wo be working. I was wondering how have you had treatment done in the past, with the dentists you have trusted - was it IV sedation too? Some things can be difficult with one dentist but easy with other so I was wondering whether seeing someone else - someone really understanding may help.
Sorry to read about the comment of your husband. This has nothing to so with beind an adult. If you went through horrid experience with a dentist as a child, then things are not so easy.

All the best wishes

 

[Moonbaby]

I think I have got worse as I've got older. I've always hated going and was very anxious but now it's awful.
Gag reflex is so strong that I can't do x-rays, so knowing that means can't think of RCT.
Dentist is ok, just not what I'm used to, and it's not an option trying to get with another dentist in the UK.
I feel in limbo, no Def plan apart from more antibiotics if the tooth flares again. Could be a 6 month wait to have IV sedation on NHS.
More panicked as he says it's a surgical extraction when previously he offered oral sedation for him to remove it.
My husband thinks he just doesn't want to do it because of how I am.
I don't want to lose my teeth and feel I'm on the slippery slope having to have this one plus most likely another.
It's occupying my every waking moment

 

[ScaredyCat22]

Hi @Moonbaby I think you are very brave to have had that work done in the past and I think you will be fine with the surgical extraction too. I am terrified of all things dental but the surgical extraction I had was the quickest easiest and most pain-free appointment I ever had even though I was terrified. I am so phobic that I would rather just have my teeth extracted than to go through ever getting any work done again. I am sorry your husband is not supportive. Mine doesn't understand my phobia either.