SecretSquirrel
Junior member
- Joined
- Jan 2, 2019
- Messages
- 2
- Location
- Texas
Hello to all here,
I’m relieved to find a place to talk about this fear, it’s a bottled-up terror I’ve carried for a very long time. Big hugs to those here seeking support and those tackling what they can. Every step is a step forward. I hope to make some steps myself, I don’t know where else to tackle this aside from here and the dental chair. (Insert sob here)
I’m a female in my late 30s, and I still cry uncontrollably just at the thought of a dentist. I will share my story in a moment, I’ve kept it to myself for a LONG time. There’s shame, there’s terror…I can’t verbalize it enough. I shared the story with those close to me in the detail that is enclosed here, but many don’t know the full story…even if I have shared pieces of it. So, it may upset others if they read on as to what happened to me. I don't wish to upset anyone with such details in any manner.
In all honesty, I'm discussing this fear now because I have oral surgery scheduled for wisdom extraction, root canals and a ton of other work. Two hours of surgery…under sedation. It’s scheduled for Jan 19th. I want to make a run for it, I want to switch bodies for the whole ordeal. I just want to disappear.
I made a scene at the checkup/consultation appointment. My interaction with this new dentist wasn’t great nor horrific. I felt a sense of ignorance on his behalf, I’m not attempting to be a jerk…but I will have to be “crystal clear” with him on the details. Which means sharing this story in detail, as opposed to a summary. It’s so complicated to explain a phobia. I wish more dentists understood this.
Therefore, I feel inclined to share HOW I got to this point of fear and absolute hysteria.
___________________________________________________________________________________
When I was young, I was always filled with anxiety about the dentist. The smells, the sounds…it’s terrible. But I was a little trooper through it, even if I scared. I always felt such relief when it was over. However, when I was about 13 years old, I needed a baby tooth extraction, so we headed to same dentist office I had been attending every summer for 4 years prior. But instead of my regular dentist, I had a new dentist along with a new dental assistant. I guess the two came as a package deal for this practice from what I could surmise.
The dentist was older at the time, mid-50s and his assistant was in her mid-30s. They seemed okay, I didn’t care for either of them based on first impressions but…I was scared, so I just wanted the whole thing over with.
Locals are given, I’m prepped, and the extraction begins. About 5-10 minutes into the extraction, the dentist loses his grip on the tooth, it is now far down my throat. I begin to reactively cough up the tooth, he shoves me back with his forearm, the assistant is told to “secure me” grappling and holding down the upper thigh areas on my legs. She was using her body weight to hold my legs down (which weren’t even moving at the time).
In turn, the dentist curses me for the fallen tooth then shoved me back with his upper arm across my collar bone. I’m terrified because he’s pressing his body weight onto me too, I felt smothered and terrified. At this point, I’m panicked. I’m choking, I can’t breathe. I shove him off and squirm the assistant off my upper legs.
I throw up the tooth amidst his continued scolding, accusing me of causing the incident. I’m hysterical despite his mouth rattling off and dirtied looks from his female assistant. I was light headed and covered in every bodily fluid known to man. I had never had a dentist do this before. And I knew something was wrong, I was so belittled and scared...I lack the words.
After being released to the waiting room, I’m a mess…I can’t talk because I’m so upset. My grandmother is waiting outside, and she could see the panic across my face. Before I could even speak, this dentist tells my grandmother a lie upon a lie regarding the procedure. She listens to him and immediately gets me out of there. She was a RN, and something didn’t seem right in how this medical professional was acting and/or speaking. For my grandmother, getting me away from him was a priority at that moment. I cried all the way home. It took me hours to tell her what happened. But when I did later that day, she called that office and raised absolute hell.
Within 24 hours, I had bruising across my collar bone. It was from where the dentist had shoved and held me back into the chair.
The dentist and assistant were gone within months thereafter. Apparently, they did something to another patient as well, but details were scarce. Because I was alone back there with just the dentist and assistant, it was my word against theirs’. My grandmother believed me, but that doesn’t mean I skip dental appointments. For years since then, I cried hysterically every time I had to go. I was scolded by adults, dentists here and there and others alike. Perhaps it was my age, my gender...I don't know...but my fears are real.
___________________________________________________________________________________
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve cried just attempting to share this story. I cry every time, I feel sick every time. Just the thought of going to a dentist strikes terror into me, I embarrass myself. I apologize repeatedly to staff and dentists, I cry irrationally at the mere sight of the chair. I cry every day prior to the appointment.
And Lord…when that day arrives! I must be supervised to get to the car…never mind inside the dental office. I apologize to everyone repeatedly, because I’m so embarrassed by this fear. I can’t help but cry. It’s like instant fear…just add water.
I’m terrified just thinking about it.
I don’t want to go, but I’m in too much pain to avoid it now. I’m worn down with both fear and pain. I have terrible anxiety and nausea…I cannot think of a way to calm myself down. I worry about being smothered again.
Medications? I’ve overridden Valium and other oral meds before…It’s like I have “Terminator” skills. Yet, I know GA or IV sedation can work for me. I’ve been knocked out before with the GA and I did fine. But my anxiety is through the roof. I’m scared of the IV sedation. I'm so terrified I may not wake up.
My husband will be there to support me, but I’m just so scared. Bless that man, he knows how frightened I am. He’s seen the tears and heard the attempts to bribe him out of the appointment. I cannot possibly verbalize how badly I feel for the worry I cause him and others.
I don’t think many dentists understand how regretfully terrified I am about this. Including the one conducting my scheduled surgery this month. I would love to switch dentists merely based on comments this dentist has made but I can’t bring myself to wait any longer…the pain is overbearing now.
What do you do when you’re so frightened?
What are the best ways to discuss your phobia with a dentist who hasn’t had experience with "extreme cases" of dental phobia?
This isn’t just a little anxiety for me, I’ve realized this over the years despite my denials. I’m absolutely traumatized.
I’m relieved to find a place to talk about this fear, it’s a bottled-up terror I’ve carried for a very long time. Big hugs to those here seeking support and those tackling what they can. Every step is a step forward. I hope to make some steps myself, I don’t know where else to tackle this aside from here and the dental chair. (Insert sob here)
I’m a female in my late 30s, and I still cry uncontrollably just at the thought of a dentist. I will share my story in a moment, I’ve kept it to myself for a LONG time. There’s shame, there’s terror…I can’t verbalize it enough. I shared the story with those close to me in the detail that is enclosed here, but many don’t know the full story…even if I have shared pieces of it. So, it may upset others if they read on as to what happened to me. I don't wish to upset anyone with such details in any manner.
In all honesty, I'm discussing this fear now because I have oral surgery scheduled for wisdom extraction, root canals and a ton of other work. Two hours of surgery…under sedation. It’s scheduled for Jan 19th. I want to make a run for it, I want to switch bodies for the whole ordeal. I just want to disappear.
I made a scene at the checkup/consultation appointment. My interaction with this new dentist wasn’t great nor horrific. I felt a sense of ignorance on his behalf, I’m not attempting to be a jerk…but I will have to be “crystal clear” with him on the details. Which means sharing this story in detail, as opposed to a summary. It’s so complicated to explain a phobia. I wish more dentists understood this.
Therefore, I feel inclined to share HOW I got to this point of fear and absolute hysteria.
___________________________________________________________________________________
When I was young, I was always filled with anxiety about the dentist. The smells, the sounds…it’s terrible. But I was a little trooper through it, even if I scared. I always felt such relief when it was over. However, when I was about 13 years old, I needed a baby tooth extraction, so we headed to same dentist office I had been attending every summer for 4 years prior. But instead of my regular dentist, I had a new dentist along with a new dental assistant. I guess the two came as a package deal for this practice from what I could surmise.
The dentist was older at the time, mid-50s and his assistant was in her mid-30s. They seemed okay, I didn’t care for either of them based on first impressions but…I was scared, so I just wanted the whole thing over with.
Locals are given, I’m prepped, and the extraction begins. About 5-10 minutes into the extraction, the dentist loses his grip on the tooth, it is now far down my throat. I begin to reactively cough up the tooth, he shoves me back with his forearm, the assistant is told to “secure me” grappling and holding down the upper thigh areas on my legs. She was using her body weight to hold my legs down (which weren’t even moving at the time).
In turn, the dentist curses me for the fallen tooth then shoved me back with his upper arm across my collar bone. I’m terrified because he’s pressing his body weight onto me too, I felt smothered and terrified. At this point, I’m panicked. I’m choking, I can’t breathe. I shove him off and squirm the assistant off my upper legs.
I throw up the tooth amidst his continued scolding, accusing me of causing the incident. I’m hysterical despite his mouth rattling off and dirtied looks from his female assistant. I was light headed and covered in every bodily fluid known to man. I had never had a dentist do this before. And I knew something was wrong, I was so belittled and scared...I lack the words.
After being released to the waiting room, I’m a mess…I can’t talk because I’m so upset. My grandmother is waiting outside, and she could see the panic across my face. Before I could even speak, this dentist tells my grandmother a lie upon a lie regarding the procedure. She listens to him and immediately gets me out of there. She was a RN, and something didn’t seem right in how this medical professional was acting and/or speaking. For my grandmother, getting me away from him was a priority at that moment. I cried all the way home. It took me hours to tell her what happened. But when I did later that day, she called that office and raised absolute hell.
Within 24 hours, I had bruising across my collar bone. It was from where the dentist had shoved and held me back into the chair.
The dentist and assistant were gone within months thereafter. Apparently, they did something to another patient as well, but details were scarce. Because I was alone back there with just the dentist and assistant, it was my word against theirs’. My grandmother believed me, but that doesn’t mean I skip dental appointments. For years since then, I cried hysterically every time I had to go. I was scolded by adults, dentists here and there and others alike. Perhaps it was my age, my gender...I don't know...but my fears are real.
___________________________________________________________________________________
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve cried just attempting to share this story. I cry every time, I feel sick every time. Just the thought of going to a dentist strikes terror into me, I embarrass myself. I apologize repeatedly to staff and dentists, I cry irrationally at the mere sight of the chair. I cry every day prior to the appointment.
And Lord…when that day arrives! I must be supervised to get to the car…never mind inside the dental office. I apologize to everyone repeatedly, because I’m so embarrassed by this fear. I can’t help but cry. It’s like instant fear…just add water.
I’m terrified just thinking about it.
I don’t want to go, but I’m in too much pain to avoid it now. I’m worn down with both fear and pain. I have terrible anxiety and nausea…I cannot think of a way to calm myself down. I worry about being smothered again.
Medications? I’ve overridden Valium and other oral meds before…It’s like I have “Terminator” skills. Yet, I know GA or IV sedation can work for me. I’ve been knocked out before with the GA and I did fine. But my anxiety is through the roof. I’m scared of the IV sedation. I'm so terrified I may not wake up.
My husband will be there to support me, but I’m just so scared. Bless that man, he knows how frightened I am. He’s seen the tears and heard the attempts to bribe him out of the appointment. I cannot possibly verbalize how badly I feel for the worry I cause him and others.
I don’t think many dentists understand how regretfully terrified I am about this. Including the one conducting my scheduled surgery this month. I would love to switch dentists merely based on comments this dentist has made but I can’t bring myself to wait any longer…the pain is overbearing now.
What do you do when you’re so frightened?
What are the best ways to discuss your phobia with a dentist who hasn’t had experience with "extreme cases" of dental phobia?
This isn’t just a little anxiety for me, I’ve realized this over the years despite my denials. I’m absolutely traumatized.