Hi all. First off I am a 37 year old woman who hasn't been to the dentist in approximately 8 years. Financial issues always kept me from going. When a tooth would get severely painful I would make myself go, and it always ended up with an extraction. I would make another appointment and end up canceling because of the cost and also the embarrassment. Well now my teeth have gotten awful. I know i have at least 2 more teeth that need to come out. Most of my back teeth have been taken out already and I have a bridge on one side. I think the teeth supporting the bridge are now decaying also. I've had many crowns placed years back and I also have issues underneath them. My gums are swollen and my front teeth are starting to separate. I'm so ashamed of how I have let myself go. I constantly look at other people's smile and wish I had that. I lose sleep every night and even have bad nightmares of my teeth falling out. I'm scared my dentist is going to say that I need dentures. He gave me the talk years ago when I was there. The thought of having dentures at my age is enough to throw me into depression. There is no way I could afford implants. I just don't know what to do anymore. I plan on making an appointment tomorrow but I get such severe anxiety that I actually get physically sick. Could anyone that's been in my shoes share your story and tell me what your outcome was. I just need any advice at all. I'm to the point where I don't even want to leave my house anymore. I work in the medical field and being without teeth for any amount of time isn't possible. I know that every tooth in my mouth has some sort of problem whether it be severe decay where my tooth is broken or many BAD cavities. I just need some sort of reassurance that everything will be ok
thanks for reading.
Hi. I want to assure you that you're not alone. I'm sorry I didn't see this sooner, as I see you haven't gotten any responses. That can feel especially lonely to put your situation out there on a forum and not get any feedback. I think that the majority of those here luckily don't have complex situations, and unless you've been there you really can't relate as closely and may not know what to say. I understand, but it's harder when you feel you're by yourself.
I'm sorry for all you're going through. The shame and embarrassment, the fear, not wanting to leave the house due to bad teeth , I have experienced all of that. I am 41 years old and received the news at 38 that I was going to lose all of my teeth. Needless to say I was mortified. I spent the next year in more pain embarrassment and denial because I couldn't face the idea of dentures (I still hate that word). I had recently married my husband and was terrified he was going to leave me once he knew on top of it. I was a wreck for quite some time. Meanwhile, physically, I was struggling. My mouth was always in some form of pain. Whether my gums were sore or a tooth was aching, or I was having one of my frequent headaches due to the condition of my mouth, I was constantly eating ibuprofen and Tylenol which causes havoc with my stomach on top of it. I was ashamed to smile and would cover my mouth to hide my missing and gappy teeth. I had a partial that would come loose all the time and wasn't helping me chew anymore. More teeth were loosening...I was depressed and scared and kept having those horrible dreams of my teeth falling out just like you . I believe now it's our subconscious telling us to get to the dentist and get help.
I didn't want to go to the dentist. I HAD to go to the dentist. It wasn't even a matter of want to anymore. Long story short, skipping the long details which I will be glad to post in a private message if you're interested, I was able to find a good dentist and begin treatment. I did end up having what was left of my teeth extracted but was sedated so I didn't feel anything. I was also given an immediate denture (hate that word) so I didn't have to be without teeth for any period of time. At first I was miserable and depressed and it was hard to cope with everything. It has been one month since I had it done and I have healed physically and emotionally and have discovered that having dentures and learning to eat with them is manageable, but it requires me to have patience with myself which doesn't come naturally.
I am also happy to report that my husband didn't leave me on hearing the news, and in fact has been a great source of support and strength for me.
Of course I don't DARE let him see me without my teeth but that's my hang up and not his. Our heads tell us all kinds of things that aren't true. I was convinced I would die during my dental surgery, but I can assure you this is not a ghost typing this. ?I am having all on 6 implant supported bridges put in in about three months if all goes well, so I am fortunate that this is temporary. Worst case scenario I know that if for some reason the bone grafts I had done don't take I can live with dentures if I have to.
I wrote all of this not to frighten you but to hopefully offer some comfort in that I imagined the worst case scenario would be dentures and was so depressed about it I didn't want to get out of bed for a long time. Well, it did end up happening and it's not nearly has horrific as I had imagined. It does take a lot to wrap your head around it, but that is true with any major life event. I'm also wanting to tell you that you may in fact be imagining the worst and it may not end up being as bad as you think. You probably need work, yes, but dentists do all that they can to save your teeth if they are saveable. My gums were horrible and my teeth were not salvageable which is why they needed to go. That may not the case at all for you. It rarely is.
Please, before letting more time pass and before you let fear take over your health even more, make that call for an appointment. Choose a well reviewed dentist who specializes in anxious patients.
Call or email and explain your situation ahead of time and gauge the responses you get. Go where you feel you will receive the most compassionate and competent care. Don't settle for a bad cruel dentist just because you feel you deserve it after not going to the dentist for long time, because you don't. You deserve to be treated with respect. From experience I will tell you that no amount of pain I have received in the chair has been equal to or worse than the daily pain of having poor oral health and having fear control my life. Please keep us posted on how you're doing. You can make the appointment and follow through, I know you can!
It will be okay, but it won't get any better if you don't make the first step.
