"Emotional accommodation"

[arbor151]

Hi everyone,

I'm really uncomfortable with my dentist at the moment and I was wondering whether the way things are going on is normal so I thought I'd post it here and see what you people think.

I've had a phobia of injections since I was a little girl (I'm now 20) but fortunately I've only had to have two since then. Then the other week I had really bad pain at the back of my mouth so made an appointment with the dentist here (I'm on my year abroad in Italy). It turns out that my lower wisdom teeth are growing in horizontally and the gum was very swollen and inflamed- they think it had something to do with my period and will come back every month until the offending teeth are removed.

The problem is that while the dentist says she's being 'emotionally accommodating', she doesn't seem to be listening to me. She seems to think that she's giving me some kind of desensitisation therapy by giving me fillings in holes so tiny that my dentist at home didn't pick up on them. Today I went, determined to demonstrate that I can be compliant- I really just want this to be over with as few needles as possible.

She showed me some kind of device that sprays anaesthetic into your mouth. I say spray- when she demonstrated it in the air, I became frightened as it seemed very violent and loud but she insisted it was just a spray and didn't hurt. I tried to trust her. She said she'd demonstrate it on my hand and put the metal right up to my hand before pressing the button. Honestly, it hurt just as badly as the injection would have done and it drew blood. Some spray- it was more like being shot by a tiny bullet. I complained that it did hurt and she kept insisting that it was ok because it was over. That's not the point- I know rationally that injections only hurt for a minute, but that doesn't stop the visceral terror and nausea I feel at the thought of one. I'm honestly now more afraid of the anaesthetic now that I was before I went in.

Nonetheless, wanting it to be over, I begged her to do the filling so I could prove that although I was frightened, I would be compliant. So she did it- without anaesthetic. I'm not good with pain but it didn't hurt, it was just a bit uncomfortable towards the end. However, I'm not scared of fillings, it is literally just the injection part that I'm frightened of so it didn't really demonstrate anything.

She says I did really well but she's still insisting on doing lots more procedures before she will touch my wisdom teeth so I can get used to the drill. I keep telling her the drill is not the problem and I can force myself to endure an injection when necessary. I tell her I just want it to be over. But it's all to no avail- I've got another appointment on Tuesday to fill another tiny hole- I don't even know which tooth it is I have no idea how many procedures there will have to be before she will deal with my wisdom teeth I came to see her about and I'm so, so scared but I can't show I'm scared or she'll give me more injections.

So I think my question is, is this normal? I'm finding it hard right now to believe that being accommodating to someone with needle phobia involves frightening them and forcing them to undergo unnecessary procedures so they can repeatedly endure the thing that they hate most.

 

[carole]

Hi to the forum.

This is not normal. I would not go back to see this dentist, and I would not have normal healthy teeth worked on by drilling and filling them. You don't have to prove anything to this dentist she has to prove that she is competent and capable of looking after your teeth and well being. She is not putting your best interests at heart by drilling healthy teeth if they don't need any work done on them.

See someone else

 

[Tink]

What Carole said! Change dentists! There are far, far better ones than this around, ones who will actually listen to your needs and take them into account. You are always in control and it's always up to you.

Let us know how you get on

 

[brit]

I agree with the others - she may be doing unnecessary work. By the way dental injections do not have to hurt at all - it depends on the techniques the dentist uses though, especially slow delivery with or without gel.

 

[sharon]

I agree also, what she is doing sounds crazy, not emotinally accommodating. Is she charging you for filling what are probably non-existent cavities?

I count my blessings that I don't have a fear of needles but I have enough other phobias in the dental chair to make up for that. One of my good friends has a terrible needle phobia,, sobs when she has to have blood drawn, cannot have the flu shot and would want to be put asleep for any surgical procedure no matter how small but would have to be put to sleep by pills, not injection. So I understand how very real your fears are and how they take over when you are in certain situations.

I certainly hope you will be able to find a dentist who is more sensitive to your needs. It's bad enough we have to have these phobias, we shouldn't also have to put up with dentists who make it worse.

Sharon