haven’t been to the dentist in over 10 years and want to go back, but am absolutely terrified

[kafkacat]

hi everyone. i think i have posted on here before on previous accounts trying to make a change but constantly again and again putting it off. everytime i tell myself im going to finally do it, i keep saying ‘yeah, soon’ and soon turns to never. i’m 21 and haven’t been to the dentist in over 10 years. last time i was supposed to go (when i was like… 11 or 12) i had a panic attack and my mum said i dont have to go anymore. and look, i love my parents but i honestly wish they had just taken me instead of letting me get away with it. as a kid, i was obviously grateful, but now im in this sucky position as an adult thats even tougher to be in because my teeth are messed up and crooked as hell and it’s having such a massive impact on my confidence and going to the dentist is even more daunting and it’s gonna be costly now since i’m over 18. so it really sucks. but i realise it’s either i keep on putting it off and putting it off until inevitably something happens and i need an emergency appointment im not prepared for, or i take the first step myself because unfortunately im an adult now so i have to take the step myself. </3



i really really want my teeth to be fixed. i want straight teeth so i can finally smile and laugh and even just talk to people or eat in public without constantly thinking ‘oh god they’re seeing my f**ked up wonky front tooth’ because that’s seriously what i think every time. but there’s a lot else going on in my mouth. admittedly i don’t think they’re in the worst condition because i’ve always been careful to brush twice a day, but im still worried as i have some tartar buildup i think and my top wisdom teeth have been poking through for a couple of years but haven’t made much progress.



also im autistic (which is maybe partly why it was so hard for me when i was young but i was diagnosed late) so i really need a dentist who’s going to be understanding and patient and i just have no idea how to go about finding someone who fits my needs. i’ll have to go private most likely since it’s almost impossible otherwise in the uk. and as i say i want straight teeth, but the process of getting braces is terrifying to me as well. i’m hoping maybe invisalign might be an option but i don’t know if they’re too messed up. will i need any teeth out? idk probably yes but again, sounds absolutely horrifying to me as someone who’s never had surgery. i also have terrible gag reflex especially when im anxious, so i hate to think how that would go down. i don’t want to be non stop gagging



this is a bit of a rant post it’s just i really want to make a change for myself and have the teeth i dream of i guess, but i have so much anxiety surrounding it that it’s almost like i don’t believe it’s even possible for me. it’s really a struggle and i just don’t know where to start, so any advice would be amazing and very much appreciated

 

[letsconnect]

Hi @kafkacat, you're obviously really motivated to make a change and feel happy about your smile, which is great!

I'm not sure if you've seen the rest of this website, but there's a bit of a walkthrough that you can follow here:

Dental Fears - The Basics

If you suffer with dental phobia, it can be impossible to see a way forward. This page explains how to identify your fears and provides useful downloads.

www.dentalfearcentral.org

Maybe some of the advice on those pages will be of help?

 

[krlovesherkids777]

Kafkacat,

Just wanted to say I so fully agree with Lets, You are working so hard on this and absolutely so courageous ! Your mind set is so there, I know fear can at times paralyze us. It does me and my trauma response is Freeze or flight.. great for dental lol. but.. truly you are really doing great , just thinking of it, wanting the best for you and taking the time to step out of your comfort zone, come on here.

There are some truly wonderful dentists out there that care so deeply. I encourage you to take those baby steps. I'm not sure how it is in your area but, in the US. I've developed a system, to ask for meet and greets I call them. It's just where you look at reviews or local social media pages and see who seems friendly. When you find one or two or even three whatever you want to do.. Call, email, FB them and tell them you are an anxious patient and would like to come to meet their staff and see if you feel comfortable in their office. I've had many invites and met Alot of very kind dentists this way, one just this week for my son They took the time to listen to my concerns and what I wanted and reassured me on everything. I actually immediately feel a peace. Now, if you went for a meet and great and didn't feel the peace and was the opposite then you would know who not to go to :0.. and it wouldn't be as scary just going to meet them rather than them "doing clinical work" first time .

Just an idea. Either way,, please give your self so much credit , definately look forward to hearing more about your journey! Great video @letsconnect shared too.!!

 

[kafkacat]

@krlovesherkids777 thank you for the kind words i have actually found a dentist i may be willing to try that seems a bit less clinic-y especially in the waiting area judging by the pics . i think im going to send them a message on monday, as they’re not open on weekends! i’ll set a reminder for myself so i definitely do it and hopefully i can get something started, at least a small meeting to begin with

 

[krlovesherkids777]

That is awesome, I hope it goes well.. would love to hear how it goes

 

[kafkacat]

@krlovesherkids777 thank you! i am very happy (and scared) to announce i have an appointment booked! not til mid march so thankfully i have time to prepare (on the downside though it gives me more time to STRESS!!). but the person i spoke to on the phone was really lovely and reassuring and took in all my concerns and wishes and talked me through them. it wasn’t the same place i initially messaged it was another place i found that i leaned toward a bit more. so yes, a pretty positive update but im still bricking it. it doesn’t help my tiktok is definitely listening to me because unfortunately now my feed is full of dental videos with comments full of traumatic dentist stories. that’s just what i need