I'd like to change a dentist but how shall I talk about my cerebral palsy?

[Lioness]

Hello, everyone,

I'm sorry for this strange thread but maybe I'm just a weirdo in general... Most often I feel so anyway – especially in medical or dental context...

So...
(deep sigh)
Here begins a story entitled: “I'd like to change a dentist but...”

• My Parents are opposing to it – my Dad shouted, “You've already have a good person so, damn, respect him!" Anyway, Dad agreed to drive me to the practice (what is important for me – in its photo I can see a driveway for wheelchairs... or maybe for buggies) if I'll make an appointment by myself.​
• My Mum said that she doesn't feel like explaining to a new dentist “everything anew”, that means my four-limbed spastic cerebral palsy...
  ​

Apparently, I could call the practice by myself, I have my own cellphone, a little of courage is enough...

But what on Earth shall I tell them?!

“Good morning/ Good afternoon, I'd like to make a private appointment with Doctor DS but there is a little hitch – I suffer from four-limbed spastic cerebral palsy. Would Doctor agreed to work with me?
Besides, I'm afraid of needles so I'd like to know whether he uses a numbing agent.
What's more, I'm not able to hold my tongue still during the procedures. Would a dental assistant help me and hold it down with a mirror?
Last but not least, I have a tendency to hold my breath during drilling. Therefore, I need breaks and respecting my stop signal, that is raised hand.”

It sounds so ridiculous to me... I've never called a dental practice by myself before... And sending an e-mail is not often practised in Poland, I guess...

And I'd like to change my current Dentist because although he seemed to be good, I feel he not always listens to me. And on last appointment he told a part of the diagnosis to me and the other one to my Parents – it annoyed me. They are not responsible for my oral health after all... So, what's the thing? I don't understand. Maybe he had good intentions, he didn't want to upset me but... I feel that concealing of even a small part of the diagnosis from me but giving it to my Parents is not OK.

I also noticed that perhaps he thinks that a break is needed only when it hurts. Well, no – I need even a few seconds of “stopping of the action” to catch my breath or breathe deeply a couple of times. Is it really so abnormal?

I'm not sure if I'll find in myself enough courage to call my potentially new Dentist... He might claim, “Sorry, I disagree to work with you.” And then my Parents will say, “Didn't we told you so?!”

Anyway, I need to talk with you, folks.

 

[Enarete]

Hi Lioness,

lovely to read from you again.

By saying I am not happy with my dentist and want to change and find someone who will respect my needs you are taking responsibility for your dental and mental health and practicing self-care.
As any negative encounter with a dentist can have a negative impact on your anxiety, having a dentist you are happy with and trust is essential.

I appreciate the idea of voicing your needs and giving information like you mentioned above feels strange and might need a good portion of courage. What you wrote is very clear and informative and any practice should be happy to get such information at the beginning.

Yes, the dentist might say they would prefer not to work with you and that would most likely feel very uncomfortable and bring you some distress with your parents, but if you make yourself able to deal with that possible disappointment (and move forward and maybe look for other practices until you find a good one), you will be fine. I think the chances of them saying that's fine, we can help are still bigger.

So putting it together: you are planning something courageous and that's great! I will keep my fingers crossed for things to go the right direction.

All the best wishes

 

[Lioness]

Hi, Enarete,
it's nice to read you again.
I don't know if I would manage to call the practice by myself... What if I couldn't emit my voice... or if it would sound strangely, cracking or trembling?

Or what if the new Dentist would turn out to be grumpy, sadistic type?

I don't know if it's such a good idea... I'm unsure, then anxious... and then I want to try it... You know - being at least a bit independent, dentally independent - WOW!

 

[kitkat]

Do you know anything about the practice that you intend on calling? Have been able to read any online reviews or do they have a website? Sometimes it is a bit easier to call them if you have a sense of who they are first. There are some dentists out there who specialize in working with patients who have disabilities so that may also be worth researching.

 

[comfortdentist]

I don't think you need any special type of dentist just one with some patience.

 

[krlovesherkids777]

Lioness,

I agree with everything Enarete and Kitkat says.. I think it is amazing self care for you to want to find someone that makes you comfortable and listens, that is so important!! I think Enarete is right that you explain yourself really good and are a great communicator. And think if you were to email something if they got it and were anxious friendly that would go along way.. I always try email first myself as I"m a bit intimidated by phoning at first until I see how they respond to me and email somehow feels safer .. I encourage you to like Kitkat said find out about the practices and read reviews and see if they seem friendly and personable. If the first one or two aren't then keep trying.. There are alot of really lovely caring dentists that will want to help you. and you can find a match for your own needs. and if one doesn't work then you might even say... ok you can't help but do you know someone who can? and you may get a referral ? I wish the best for you in this journey and we are glad you are here with us at DFC!!