lost tooth ,getting married and broken dental promise :(

[scifiemz]

last June my tooth snapped off, and I said to my other half about making our wedding a small do as I hate how I look, my H2B knew I didn't want a small wedding so did all in his power to find me a dentist that could deal with my dental phobia, fast forward to dec and I finally get treatment , I was ment to be having a root filling followed by a crown , but as my tooth luck is always terrible they couldn't find my root ( surly you just drill down and its there!) so and this is wear the big probs start, I had told my dentist in no way that I would agree to having the tooth pulled out , I made this very clear as broken it looked bad but not there I would look a total freak. now I was on Diazepane , upset and terrified so when he said ''I cant fix it ,I can pull it out and in three months I can give you a bridge no one need know as I can give you a tempary bridge till the real one, how about it? you know I know how to keep you calm'' I wasn't in my right mind and wanting it all to stop said yes, I have no idea why I said yes my mind was screaming NO. fast forward to march and I go to see the dentist to get the final fix and instead get the final insult,,, HES LEFT!!! and gone privet , now I cant afford that and the guy whos taken over from him isn't a phobia dentist. what do I do? the temp bridge is broken and moves , I don't think it will stay in much longer and hurts, and im getting married in sep its only going to get worse. HELP x

 

[Enarete]

So sorry to read what happened, scifiemz.. I can't even imagine what a shock it must have been to get in to get the final fix and finding out he's not there anymore and this all after all you have been through.
I see how you regret having the tooth pulled, but on the other hand - if a tooth can't be saved, it has to get removed to prevent you from future problems, such as waking up with a swollen face and needing treatment now and then. The situation may look hopeless right now, but before you fall into desperation, may I suggest you or your H2B keep on looking for a place you could afford? The dentist doesn't have to be an official "phobia dentist", but someone who has some understanding and is a kind person. There are many nice dentists out there.. Surely things will get a bit easier once this covid phase is over, but I am confident that it is possible to get it fixed before Semptember. After all, you have come such a long way already..

 

[krlovesherkids777]

Scifimz.

I am soo sorry to hear this too!!.. It sounds really anxiety producing and you made that last min decision when under influence and had he continued there and made the bridge everything wouuld have been lovely. and now a twist of events.. agh.. I can imagine how disheartening. I am with @Enarete and want to believe and hope for something to happen for you on this before September to get this fixed! Maybe the office will work with you since you had a certain arrangement with the other dentist you were counting on? and maybe if you sat down with the new dentist more and explained it could be possible he may be willing to help and more patient to the anxiety? but like Enarete said too there are many kind dentists out there so if you have to leave I hope you will find someone compassionate and competent to help, get it done and have a very lovely wedding to end it!!

 

[scifiemz]

thanks guys but i can't help but regretting having started this journey as its all been a bit of a mess.
and it now looks like its all been for nothing any way as the wedding dosn't look like its currently going to go ahead any way( cant get the paper work sorted out as everything is closed, need to stay 2 meters away from everyone till xmas, and not aloud to travel the 4 hours to see the wedding suppliers) , if so i'll just leave the broken bridge as there's no point getting a real fix, the wedding was the only reason.

thank you all for your great kindness its just a shame that there wasn't a better out come. but thank you xxxx

 

[Enarete]

This sounds so hopeless and definite and like you decided there is no point in trying or possibility of a positive outcome. Sorry to read you feel that way. I guess sometimes things just get too much at once and that's how that feels. Hope this challenging time will pass soon and may things move ahead for you, however slightly soon. And remember, we are here to listen.

 

[scifiemz]

This sounds so hopeless and definite and like you decided there is no point in trying or possibility of a positive outcome. Sorry to read you feel that way. I guess sometimes things just get too much at once and that's how that feels. Hope this challenging time will pass soon and may things move ahead for you, however slightly soon. And remember, we are here to listen.

my bridesmaid have talk me out of cancelling the wedding so that is currently still happening.
but I just cant see a way ahead to get my temp bridge fixed, the dentist I saw in march would hear none of it all he was interested in was fitting a proper one, but he hadn't read any of my notes didn't even know why I was there and totally freaked me out when he said i needed a root filling on the tooth that had already been removed. how am I meant to have confidence in a dentist when the look in my month then want to fix a tooth which clearly isn't there! he said my original dentist would call me but that was over a month and a half ago and ive still not heard a word.
I just don't know what to do , am so upset that the only good dentist ive found dropped me mid treatment. im up a creek with out a paddle. what do I do????

 

[krlovesherkids777]

Scifimz

So sorry to hear how things aren't lining up for getting things done for wedding .. and dental.. I really hope the same as Enarate that this will pass soon and things will line up. in a way you could not imagine for the better. I know for now.. it is really difficult..

 

[Enarete]

my bridesmaid have talk me out of cancelling the wedding so that is currently still happening.
but I just cant see a way ahead to get my temp bridge fixed, the dentist I saw in march would hear none of it all he was interested in was fitting a proper one, but he hadn't read any of my notes didn't even know why I was there and totally freaked me out when he said i needed a root filling on the tooth that had already been removed. how am I meant to have confidence in a dentist when the look in my month then want to fix a tooth which clearly isn't there! he said my original dentist would call me but that was over a month and a half ago and ive still not heard a word.
I just don't know what to do , am so upset that the only good dentist ive found dropped me mid treatment. im up a creek with out a paddle. what do I do????

I see how you didn't feel heard and don't trust that dentist and it is ok to feel overwhelmed and upset. Sometimes there are situations when we do not have immediate solution, but it still doesn't mean that there is none or that none will appear in the future. You seem to have a lot of things to deal with at the moment. Glad the wedding is still happening, sounds like your bridesmaid cares a lot. Does she know about your struggle with the bridge?

 

[scifiemz]

I see how you didn't feel heard and don't trust that dentist and it is ok to feel overwhelmed and upset. Sometimes there are situations when we do not have immediate solution, but it still doesn't mean that there is none or that none will appear in the future. You seem to have a lot of things to deal with at the moment. Glad the wedding is still happening, sounds like your bridesmaid cares a lot. Does she know about your struggle with the bridge?

she dose but doesn't know its a big problem, and I don't want to lump them with the problem as , they helped a lot last year and they thought it was all sorted ( which to be fair it should have been) im feeling really stuck, there is so few NHS dentists at the best of times so finding one that tells me not to be silly ( yes ive been told that) really is like finding a needle in a haystack.