New here, scared, any help would be much appreciated

[frostgirl]

Hi all, I'm new here, and I thought I would post my story to get some advice, I'm at the end of my tether.


I'm 18 and I haven't been to a dentist since I was about six or seven years old. This is because my family doesn't care about their health that much, and this means no one goes to the dentist. I know I never had a bad experience when I was younger, I remember that my last dentist was nice, but some how I've ended up with a fear of the dentist. Even the thought of making an appointment makes me feel sick to my stomach with fear. I know it's probably not as bad as I think it is, but I am terrified. I can't ask anyone for help, because I'm scared they'll be disgusted at me and ashamed to know me. I know it's a bit ridiclious, but I have thought about killing myself because of this, and some other factors in my life. I'm at the end of my tether and I know I can't carry on being constantly worried about it everyday of my life. I haven't had a calm day for a while now, which makes me more on edge and nervous. I want to go to a dentist but I'm so terrified that they'll yell at me and that it will hurt, that I'm making myself ill because of it. I can't even hear the word 'dentist' or anything related to dentists without my face flushing bright red and I'm starting to worry that people are going to find out. Everyone seems to be talking about and it makes me feel ashamed for not going to a dentist. All I want to do is to be able to smile and laugh properly in public. Any advice?


Many thanks in advance

 

[Former member 14778]

Hello there, and welcome to the forum! I'm a new member, too. This is definitely the place to vent & to seek advice related to dental fears. If I may ask, what are your fears specifically?

Although I don't have dental phobia as such, I didn't enjoy visiting my dentist when I was a young child, and I still get mildly nervous just going for checkups. However, it's not because my dentist is mean or anything. In fact, he's a great professional and works well w/ adults & children. It's just that I experience "normal" anxiety like other patients probably do when they arrive there, although I have very good oral hygiene and haven't had dental work in over a decade.

Before I continue, I would definitely urge you not to contemplate suicide. Honestly, sometimes I felt like doing that (although not related in any way to dental phobia), but thankfully God steered me away from that direction and showed me my purpose in life. I take prescription for depression, which is a medical condition that runs in my family, so you may want to consider talking to a doctor about medications that can lower anxiety & stress levels.

Please know that there's nothing wrong w/ you as far as having fears. You're not alone; there are others in the same boat. Don't accept guilt or shame for feeling the way you do; it's human to feel afraid sometimes. Fear is a natural, God-given emotion, so there's absolutely nothing wrong w/ merely feeling afraid, but we should never let it control our lives because that's not natural. Please understand that I'm not trying to lecture you at all, but I simply want to help you see this problem objectively.

If anyone criticizes you or puts you down for being afraid, you should avoid them for being judgmental, and try to disregard what they say because they can't relate to your situation unless they've been there, too. I would encourage you to ask around to know who's the best dentist to see. Once you find out, make an appointment w/ them just to talk & explain your fears in detail. They should be caring, understanding, & sympathetic; but if not, leave them and seek another dentist. You can be assured that there are plenty of dental professionals who care for their patients and want to help them. Also, it's important to know that you are in control, so you can give only your informed consent to treatment and can withdraw that consent at any time if you feel uncomfortable. You cannot be forced to undergo any procedure if you refuse, so no one can violate your autonomy.

Once you find a dentist you like, take everything one step at a time. For example, after the initial consultation, have them merely look inside your mouth w/o actually doing anything. At the next appointment, maybe you can ask them to give you only a sample numbing injection (w/ some numbing gel beforehand) w/o doing any dental work right then. Next time, let them do only 1 tooth, and take short breaks in between, etc. As you can see, by taking this in baby steps, you can overcome your fears gradually. A caring & competent dentist will patiently accommodate your requests and work w/ you each step of the way.

In closing, I would encourage you to read John 3:16 and any other Scriptures and to seek a relationship w/ the Lord if you haven't already made that all-important decision in life. If you are a believer, pray for God to comfort & calm you and to help you through this troubled time, and he definitely will because he loves you very much. Feel free to open up to us on this forum anytime because we're here for each other. Remember, you are not a failure, and the fact that you even came here to confess your concerns proves you've already made a crucial step in the right direction. I hope my response wasn't too long but that it was helpful. Let us know if you have any other questions or concerns. Take deep breaths and think positively. Relax, everything is going to be fine! Although that's easier said than done, you can get through this, and you will have a success story to share! God bless.

 

[TT8954]

I can sympathize with you as going to the dentist was not important to my parents either, Except when I had pain from not knowing how to take care of my teeth properly( brushing at night, flossing, the effects of soda on my teeth etc. ) . I am 25 now and despite being scared to death I took myself to the dentist 2 years ago and then again last year ( the long break was due to financial and other issues) . I have taken myself to the dentist more than my parents have although the thought scares me. I worry will they tell me the truth? Will they do their best or just the minimal? Will the scold me? Is it pointless at this point? I am still working on these issues and working to TRUST my dentist and also look things up online myself or ask a friend who is a hygienist to verify. Take things step by step. At first it does seem overwhelming and with us being young there is not many people who can understand what we are feeling. You do care about yourself which is why you are here. Do not let anybody make you feel inferior. You are trying your best with your current situation adn that is all that any human can do. From now on you will take it step by step. Maybe get recommendations for a good sympathetic dentists. Find one you can trust. And go in the office. Keep up your daily hygiene habits Brush 2X a day and Flossing and mouthwash to help too if applicable. It's ok to be scared . Use that fear to motivate you to get yourself back on track. You can do it!

 

[DisneyMom]

Hi all, I'm new here, and I thought I would post my story to get some advice, I'm at the end of my tether.


I'm 18 and I haven't been to a dentist since I was about six or seven years old. This is because my family doesn't care about their health that much, and this means no one goes to the dentist. I know I never had a bad experience when I was younger, I remember that my last dentist was nice, but some how I've ended up with a fear of the dentist. Even the thought of making an appointment makes me feel sick to my stomach with fear. I know it's probably not as bad as I think it is, but I am terrified. I can't ask anyone for help, because I'm scared they'll be disgusted at me and ashamed to know me. I know it's a bit ridiclious, but I have thought about killing myself because of this, and some other factors in my life. I'm at the end of my tether and I know I can't carry on being constantly worried about it everyday of my life. I haven't had a calm day for a while now, which makes me more on edge and nervous. I want to go to a dentist but I'm so terrified that they'll yell at me and that it will hurt, that I'm making myself ill because of it. I can't even hear the word 'dentist' or anything related to dentists without my face flushing bright red and I'm starting to worry that people are going to find out. Everyone seems to be talking about and it makes me feel ashamed for not going to a dentist. All I want to do is to be able to smile and laugh properly in public. Any advice?


Many thanks in advance

Firstly, I want to extend my warmest welcome to you! You have definately come to the right place! My son is a tad older than you and has the same fear. (He had braces and never had problems, just discomfort when they would tighten them) I myself, just went through the first of two visits for deep cleaning. I was so scared, but it really was ALOT better than having abscesses or other problems in the future.
The very first thing you need to do is breathe.... it will all be OK, I promise!!! Do NOT be ashamed, there isn't a person on these forums who feel apprehensive and afraid. You are in good company. You have already made the first big step, reaching out! Congrats!!!!! A visit to the dentist, is scary, but unfounded. I am right there with apprehension when it comes to siting in *the chair*. It's really not that scary, we all build it up so much in our minds, but all feel SO much better when we take that first step!! Pat yourself on the back!!! You are already starting out great!! You can definately do this... you have us all there cheering you on.

 

[frostgirl]

Thank you to all of you!

mbc350 - Thank you so much, don't worry, your post wasn't too long. You asked what my fears are, well here goes; I'm scared it will hurt, I'm not great with pain. I'm terrified of needles because of a rather cruel and horrible friend who used to steal sewing needles from the textiles room and used to wave them very close to my face, and she almost let go of them. I'm also really scared because I won't know what will happen when I do eventually go to a dentist. I'm not a believer but I do believe that gods exist, and I will have a look at the scriptures you have recommended.

TT8954 - Its so hard to find someone who has gone through similar experiences. I thought I could open up to someone who I thought was my best friend, but she just waved it off by saying I'm overreacting and that I'm being silly. Thank you for the advice, and I will try not to let anyone make me feel inferior.

DisneyMom - Thank you so much for your encouraging words! It means a lot that there are people who are going and gone through similar things, and they are willing to encourage others, I hope I am able to encourage others too.

 

[DisneyMom]

Thank you to all of you!

mbc350 - Thank you so much, don't worry, your post wasn't too long. You asked what my fears are, well here goes; I'm scared it will hurt, I'm not great with pain. I'm terrified of needles because of a rather cruel and horrible friend who used to steal sewing needles from the textiles room and used to wave them very close to my face, and she almost let go of them. I'm also really scared because I won't know what will happen when I do eventually go to a dentist. I'm not a believer but I do believe that gods exist, and I will have a look at the scriptures you have recommended.

TT8954 - Its so hard to find someone who has gone through similar experiences. I thought I could open up to someone who I thought was my best friend, but she just waved it off by saying I'm overreacting and that I'm being silly. Thank you for the advice, and I will try not to let anyone make me feel inferior.

DisneyMom - Thank you so much for your encouraging words! It means a lot that there are people who are going and gone through similar things, and they are willing to encourage others, I hope I am able to encourage others too.

You can do this!!!!!!! Honestly, the dentist isn't the enemy, our fear is Focus on how proud you will be of yourself afterwards!!! Wishing you all the best

 

[Former member 14778]

Thank you to all of you!

mbc350 - Thank you so much, don't worry, your post wasn't too long. You asked what my fears are, well here goes; I'm scared it will hurt, I'm not great with pain. I'm terrified of needles because of a rather cruel and horrible friend who used to steal sewing needles from the textiles room and used to wave them very close to my face, and she almost let go of them. I'm also really scared because I won't know what will happen when I do eventually go to a dentist. I'm not a believer but I do believe that gods exist, and I will have a look at the scriptures you have recommended.

TT8954 - Its so hard to find someone who has gone through similar experiences. I thought I could open up to someone who I thought was my best friend, but she just waved it off by saying I'm overreacting and that I'm being silly. Thank you for the advice, and I will try not to let anyone make me feel inferior.

DisneyMom - Thank you so much for your encouraging words! It means a lot that there are people who are going and gone through similar things, and they are willing to encourage others, I hope I am able to encourage others too.

Thank you for sharing your concerns. Don't worry, you're doing great, and you're going to be just fine ! Again, it's okay, in fact, even normal, to have fears, because that shows you're human, and you start to overcome them by first acknowledging & confronting them. It's just that we don't want to dwell on them too much and allow them to dominate our minds because that's not healthy. However, there's nothing wrong with experiencing anxiety per se.

As far as needles go, allow me to share some important advice & tips that I believe will help you out tremendously . Please note that I'm not a dentist, only a patient; but this info. is based on what I've researched on the Internet and the comments other kind & thoughtful members posted on the Dental Fear Central forum. Everyone's perception of pain is somewhat different, so it's not easy to measure it objectively, but as you'll find out, you'll be pleasantly surprised by how comfortable the procedure can be.

First off, before you receive a dental injection (which isn't required for every single visit but is necessary only for certain procedures such as fillings), they may administer some nitrous oxide to calm your nerves & relax you, and you can ask around to find out which dentists offer this service. Next, the assistant will place a soft cotton swab with a topical numbing gel onto your gums for at least a couple of minutes. This will numb the surface tissue before they do the actual injection. If they don't provide the gel at the outset, don't be afraid to ask for it; they'll definitely help you out w/ that! Sometimes they just forget to apply it, so you may have to remind them politely!

After that, the hardest part comes next , but don't fear, you'll overcome it . The dentist will slowly & gently perform the injection, which doesn't last very long. (While you're lying in the chair, it's easy to lose perception of time , so a few moments can seem like a long time, but don't get distressed!) Before you get too anxious about this step, you can be assured that a competent & caring dentist will be very gentle and can give an injection painlessly (or almost so). They use sharp, thin, 27- or 30-gauge needles. (The higher the number, the thinner the needle, which makes for a comfortable injection.) While a sharp needle may sound painful, it's quite the opposite: a sharp needle will easily penetrate & pass thru the tissues, whereas by contrast, a dull needle will cause more pain. This is why after use, a dentist will remove the needle from the syringe and dispose of the needle entirely.

This is where the numbing gel (mentioned above) comes into effect. Thankfully, it minimizes the feeling from the initial prick of the needle. (Some patients report they don't feel a thing at all .) Even w/o the gel, the needle causes only a mild, short pinching sensation, but it's still great to have the gel in place beforehand. Don't worry; the dentist will delicately advance the needle into the tissues, which may produce just a small amount of discomfort, perhaps 1-2 sec. It seems that the most sensitive spot is on the surface, so once the needle is properly positioned beneath the surface, regardless of how deep it's inserted (which for most injections is a shallow depth), it won't hurt anymore. Trust me, it's not bad at all. In fact, the dentist may wiggle or shake your lip or cheek to distract you from the pinch where you may not even notice it.

Most importantly, the dentist will give you a slow injection, which is the most crucial step. A quick injection will produce more pain, but a slow injection will be a lot more comfortable, which should take 2-3 mins. max. Gradually, you'll feel that part of your mouth start to go numb, like it's "gone to sleep." If the dentist has to re-inject in the same general area to numb it further, you shouldn't feel it since your mouth will already be numb. Avoid the negative connotation associated w/ words like "shot" and instead think of the liquid as gradually & gently sinking in, drop by drop. Also, picture the syringe as an instrument of healing , which is what it really is; and the hollowed needle is nothing more than an avenue or method of delivery for the medicine.

To cope with the process, I would suggest closing your eyes, taking slow & deep breaths, and thinking about something else (e.g., a pleasant vacation at the beach ). Your dentist may talk to you during this time to distract you further, but even if he/she doesn't, you'll still be fine. Try not to worry about it too much. Like DisneyMom said, the dentist isn't the enemy, but rather your friend because they want to help you by performing a valuable service for you, and the biggest obstacle is in your mind, so it's mostly psychological; but once you've walked into the room and sat in the chair, you'll realize you've made such great strides and feel proud of your achievement! Make the effort to look beyond any minor discomfort you may experience at the beginning and focus on the end result of anesthesia: complete numbness, which is better than having no anesthetic at all! You can overcome this hurdle like others (including myself) have, and in the end, you'll have a wonderful success story to tell !

Finally, remember to cooperate kindly w/ the dentist by holding still and following all their instructions. If you feel any pain during the drilling part, etc., raise your hand immediately to signal the dentist to stop right away so they can give you more numbing solution. (You may want to discuss stop signals w/ your dentist beforehand so they'll know what to look for.) As long as you're numbed sufficiently, you won't feel any pain during the remainder of the operation. It's important to trust the dental staff entirely because they're professionals, they've done this before, and most likely they've been doing it for a long time.

Ironically, for a long time, I had a difficult time believing for myself everything I just told you. As a young child, I had some basic dental work done at different appointments, and each time, I hated the needles. Again, my dentist wasn't mean or harsh at all. (In fact, after the operations, he bragged on me to my mom and stated I "did great.") It's just that I didn't want to feel any pain, even though in actuality it was mild & tolerable. As a kid, I didn't think of pain in terms of degree like adults do, but I just didn't want to experience it at all ! Thankfully, it was recently that on here I was able to overcome my fears because when I asked how injections were, others replied that they were painless, which made me feel so relieved ! (You can check out my other posts if you'd like.)

Personally, I don't think I've dealt w/ dental phobia in an extreme or technical sense, but like other patients, I've felt a moderate level of anxiety, which is perfectly fine. In fact, before I go to the office, I usually take prescription Ativan to put me at ease. Take heart, you're in very good company here, and we'll help you along the way . Don't ever think you're being a bother, because you're not. In closing, put your faith & trust in the Lord and surrender your life to him today because he loves you very much ! If I can be of any further assistance, please do not hesitate to contact me. Take care now.

P.S. I want to thank the other contributors here for helping out; I feel honored to partner with you all in helping each other. In fact, your comments have continued to comfort me even more!

 

[frostgirl]

Thank you mbc350, your explanation has helped me to relax a little bit. Hopefully, by following your advice, I will be able to relax when I do have to get an injection at the dentist.

 

[Former member 14778]

Thank you mbc350, your explanation has helped me to relax a little bit. Hopefully, by following your advice, I will be able to relax when I do have to get an injection at the dentist.

That's great! I'm so glad to hear that! Again, you're going to do fine. In the end, you'll see that the worry was for nothing, and you can look back and see how far you've come, which will give you hope & confidence for the future.