Stressed to death again. Feel wrong for feeling it, feel alone, don't know what to do.

[UnearthedDisc4]

Hi. So it’s been a while since I posted on here. Basically I have a massive dental phobia, like severe, and had never been to a dentist at age 30 because of my fear. I have depression, anxiety & autism too.

Anyways, now 31 but it took me a loooong time to even be able to see my dentist like took well over a year of just meeting with the practice manager & talking & things before I could even go in to meet the dentist to be seen.

Anyways, I’m now comfortable with that like dentist did a couple of fillings & a cleaning & I can (just about) see her now, but I need a tooth out & the dentist couldn’t do it herself so referred me to hospital to be put to sleep which I want to happen but I’m also stressing thinking it’s like starting from square one again with somewhere else, someone new, etc.

Apparently it’s not just a hospital too with like normal hospital beds & stuff, it’s an actual dentist one so I’m picturing like where the sight of one chair / surgery was bad enough for me, now it will just be one big room with like 10 or 20 in a big open room which is like 10 / 20 fold my fears all in one big room. If I break down here which will be likely I’ll have no privacy.

I got a message on my NHS App to call the hospital about the referral which I have been putting off but today it came through as overdue so I plucked up the courage to call assuming it would just be the standard your on our list, we’ve not forgotten & stuff. Nope! It was to book an appointment so I tried to explain that I have a phobia & would need a friend to come with me to help support me but the lady wouldn’t let me speak to explain & just booked an appointment. I tried to tell her I’d need to check with my friend but she just didn’t care & was like if you cancel (which I’ll have too if my friend isn’t free that day as I can’t go through with it on my own), then you’ll get discharged.

Now I’m spiralling as apparently this isn’t for treatment it’s a check. I was like but I had a check with my dentist but they want to do their own at the hospital which means I need to do it not once but twice which is also bad as I feel worse enough about my friend needing to take one day off to come with me, now she has to take multiple as they want to split it.

Also, it’s like staring all over again because I’m back to not knowing things like what it will be like, what the place will look like inside, who it will be with etc. Like I used the sheets off the download section of dentalfearcentral website before my original appointment & I feel more comfortable with a lady dentist of similar age to me where possible as I feel like they will be gentler & understanding of my fear more than an older strict or male dentist like I know it sounds really petty & it’s not essential to me & know I can’t choose, I’m just lucky & grateful to even be able to be seen by a dentist at all but the not knowing is making me anxious too. Also like measures that my dentist takes to help me like hiding all the tools away so I can’t see them in the room & stuff none of that will happen here as I’m just another patient at a hospital, like a number.

Please help I don’t know what to do. I feel like just cancelling the whole thing like everything, the appointment, the entire referral, the lot as I am just so scared & petrified.

Many Thanks.

Kind Regards,
UnearthedDisc4

 

[anonfemale]

@UnearthedDisc4 Hi. I have a massive dental phobia, depression, anxiety and autism too. I have an infection in my gum near one of my back teeth and the back tooth near that gum is a bit loose. The dentist prescribed antibiotics and painkillers which I have been taking. The dentist said I have two choices which is either I can have a root canal or have my tooth taken out by a specialist in a hospital. I'm very scared because I have never had a root canal before and havent had extractions since I was in my 20's and I am 41 years old now and I dont usually get pain and infections. I haven't decided which procedure to have yet. I just want you to know that you have my support and you are not alone and I understand what you are going though. My mum always goes with me to my appointments and she is my carer too. There are lots of lovely members and dentists on this forum.

 

[UnearthedDisc4]

@anonfemale thankyou so much. This really means a lot & I am sorry for the problems / worries which you are facing also.

 

[anonfemale]

@UnearthedDisc4 Thank you. I have been feeling scared a lot over the last few days since I found out that I have the gum infection and the loose tooth and that I need to have one of the procedures done. It's good that we can support each other through things and it can make you feel better knowing that someone who is going through the same thing is supporting you.

 

[letsconnect]

Hi @UnearthedDisc4, does the hospital have a PALS team that you could contact to help you? I don't know whereabouts in the UK you are.

 

[UnearthedDisc4]

Hi. I’m not sure. I am in the North West so it would be Manchester Dentist University Hospital

 

[letsconnect]

They have contact details here:

PALS - University Dental Hospital of Manchester

If you have any suggestions, comments or concerns about the services you have received, the Patient Advice and Liaison Service (PALS) team are here to help. Whether you are a patient, a relative, friend or carer, they will listen to your concerns, help make your voice heard and liaise with the...

mft.nhs.uk

It would be worth getting in touch with them and let them know about your experience and see if they can help!